Since I'm drawing on the dry erase board anyway..
Why not update, I say, when I have little work to do and am drawing menorahs and christmas trees on the dry erase board in my office anyway?
Two trendy topics:
1) losing weight/getting in shape: I feel back on track again after a trip to Kohls yesterday, where I tried on 2 random pairs of size 13 pants that both fit (one better than the other, but both zipped/buttoned) and a medium shirt that had buttons that were too tight but fit better than a medium generally would on me. Erica called me while I was at the store, and she discussed the struggles with me..we've both been overweight and wanting to change it for so long, and now that we're working on it at the same time we're having a lot of the same issues with it I'm sure but, like I told her, we're finally doing something about it and it's working, so it's something to be glad about. I know I've seen changes in my body these past 3 months, so I can tell it's working, but sometimes it can make the rest of the fat and "flaws" seem more annoying, since I'm actually letting myself care and really pay attention for once. I just need to keep caring when I'm making eating choices, and I need to be more energetic when I'm working out. I got a nice 40 minute workout on the strenuous stairmaster last night, and I even went up to level 8 for the last 12 minutes.
2) dating: I don't want to go into a whole thing about this now, but last night I was thinking about how I keep waiting for a certain type of person with certain traits I'm looking for, but I don't know if I trust myself to even DO anything about it if that person DOES come along. There are two people I met at Iowa State that I was thinking about again while driving yesterday, and they both seem to have fit many of my "criteria" that I'd want in a boyfriend. Being nice, inexperienced with dating, introverted, the same major/minor, overlapping t.v. show/movie/music interests, intelligent, cute, liking camping, liking animals, into the environment, silly, liberal, different from the "norm", ugh...and so I think about that and how I liked them as people and could have seen either of them as more and one of them I actually had a crush on for a couple years and keep coming back to in my mind every once in awhile, wondering how things would have been if I told him that or asked him what he thought of me or just been daring and tried something out. And this one could potentially be reading this, so yeah I mean you if you are (but typing this as a public entry isn't so "brave" as it might seem b/c I don't think he reads my journal anymore, and even if he does, I left that school and avoided even seeing him sometimes when I was there, even though I opened up to him more than anyone else there and had the best times during those 2 years when I was hanging out with him).
My point is this:
How will I ever date anyone, especially the type of person I think I want to date who's as introverted and socially awkward as me, if I'm too afraid to express any feelings or get to know people better because I'm worried it will be too stressful or weird or turn out differently than I would hope? How can I trust myself to take something that could be good and make it, or even let it, happen?
Two trendy topics:
1) losing weight/getting in shape: I feel back on track again after a trip to Kohls yesterday, where I tried on 2 random pairs of size 13 pants that both fit (one better than the other, but both zipped/buttoned) and a medium shirt that had buttons that were too tight but fit better than a medium generally would on me. Erica called me while I was at the store, and she discussed the struggles with me..we've both been overweight and wanting to change it for so long, and now that we're working on it at the same time we're having a lot of the same issues with it I'm sure but, like I told her, we're finally doing something about it and it's working, so it's something to be glad about. I know I've seen changes in my body these past 3 months, so I can tell it's working, but sometimes it can make the rest of the fat and "flaws" seem more annoying, since I'm actually letting myself care and really pay attention for once. I just need to keep caring when I'm making eating choices, and I need to be more energetic when I'm working out. I got a nice 40 minute workout on the strenuous stairmaster last night, and I even went up to level 8 for the last 12 minutes.
2) dating: I don't want to go into a whole thing about this now, but last night I was thinking about how I keep waiting for a certain type of person with certain traits I'm looking for, but I don't know if I trust myself to even DO anything about it if that person DOES come along. There are two people I met at Iowa State that I was thinking about again while driving yesterday, and they both seem to have fit many of my "criteria" that I'd want in a boyfriend. Being nice, inexperienced with dating, introverted, the same major/minor, overlapping t.v. show/movie/music interests, intelligent, cute, liking camping, liking animals, into the environment, silly, liberal, different from the "norm", ugh...and so I think about that and how I liked them as people and could have seen either of them as more and one of them I actually had a crush on for a couple years and keep coming back to in my mind every once in awhile, wondering how things would have been if I told him that or asked him what he thought of me or just been daring and tried something out. And this one could potentially be reading this, so yeah I mean you if you are (but typing this as a public entry isn't so "brave" as it might seem b/c I don't think he reads my journal anymore, and even if he does, I left that school and avoided even seeing him sometimes when I was there, even though I opened up to him more than anyone else there and had the best times during those 2 years when I was hanging out with him).
My point is this:
How will I ever date anyone, especially the type of person I think I want to date who's as introverted and socially awkward as me, if I'm too afraid to express any feelings or get to know people better because I'm worried it will be too stressful or weird or turn out differently than I would hope? How can I trust myself to take something that could be good and make it, or even let it, happen?