Some questions for the peanut gallery

[passionfire]

1. If a friend came to you about a subject you strongly disagreed with them on, how would you handle it? Would you give them your honest opinion or would you tell them what they want to hear

Comments

[kashewmoo]

I hope you feel better soon, Alice. :/ ♥ I'm well, just very busy with work.

1. Like Anne Marie, my answer may change depending on context, but I will always give my honest opinion even if it's conflicting with my friend's. I'm willing to listen to the other side and hear the reasoning for a friend drawing that particular conclusion, but I've been in situations where I just can't agree because morally it doesn't sit well with me. That said, I do wish to be supportive of my friends, and I will go to great lengths to do so, even if I disagree.

2. If a subject makes you feel uncomfortable, I absolutely think it's well within your rights to request a topic change; it's not childish in the least. Granted, I think it's also a delicate line to toe. I personally don't like conflict, and I'll sometimes just allow a conversation to continue even if it's bothering me, so I'm perhaps not the best person to answer this.

3. I wouldn't take offense; at this point in time, I'd just honestly feel confused. I've had others harbor unfavorable opinions in the past, and admittedly it really hurt me, but through reflecting upon that particular situation over the last few years, I've realized that it wasn't our relationship at all that was initially causing the discourse. Now, everything is peachy. :) So, yeah, now I would find it confusing.

4. I've also been in that exact situation, and I think it's awkward no matter what, but I followed my gut in that particular case and said something. In the end, it's not my call to make and really not my business, but coming from a place of concern it's also important for me to at least voice that. Ultimately, like the question before, I want to be supportive even if I disagree.

5. Kindness has always been more important to me than niceness. I think I pull off the latter well (which isn't necessarily a good thing), but... I don't know. Kindness speaks louder to me and seems more sincere.

[passionfire]

Thank you. Me, too. :/ ♥ I'm glad to hear you're doing well. I was wondering how things were going.

I explained the situation a bit in my response to Anne Marie. Yeah, same here. I try to be supportive of my friends when I can, even if I disagree. Admittedly with this situation it's more difficult because I feel like encouraging this person on this particular issue is detrimental to their overall well-being. I do recognize that it's not my life or decision to make and ultimately it's all up to them. I'm just not quite certain what I can do to support this person without violating my own values. Though I suppose that's something to discuss with this person after tempers have cooled.

I'm really glad to hear that things smoothed over for you. If you don't mind my asking, how were you hurt by it? It doesn't bother me if someone expresses a negative opinion on a relationship I'm in because I trust they have my best interests at heart. I was really confused how much my opinion seemed to hurt this person because I thought he trusted me and my intentions. I was a little hurt by his reaction so I'm trying to understand it better.

I've always thought that about kindness, too. I appreciate niceness but I guess it seems more style than substance to me? In a way? I tend to place more value in the intent behind the gesture than the gesture itself, usually.