Fic: Before We Break

[girlsxandxguns]

Title: Before We Break (1/?)
Author: girlsxandxguns
Rating: T
Fandom: The Walking Dead
Pairing: Andrea/Maggie
Spoiler Warnings: Assumes general knowledge of season 1 and 2
Author's notes: Beta'd by the lovely jensi08. Complemented by a fanvid.
Disclaimer: The characters and the settings in this work do not belong to me, they are the properties of their respective owners. No profit is being made.
Summary: Baseball bat still in hand her knight in shining armor came to a halt a few feet away from her, calling for Lori. It was then Andrea realized that her knight was in fact a knightess?

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Chapter 1

This was it. That walker was all over Andrea and there was nothing she could do about it. Adrenaline had kicked in, making her mind go blank. She wasn’t even thinking about her confiscated gun or the reason she was in the forest in the first place. All she could do was scream and push the walker away from her with her legs, the physical exertion barely registering. Everything seemed to move in slow motion. Even the brown spot in the corner of her eye that kept coming closer and as she turned her head to get a closer look, a horse sped by and the walker went flying through the air. Baseball bat still in hand her knight in shining armor came to a halt a few feet away from her, calling for Lori.

It was then Andrea realized that her knight was in fact a knightess?

“What do you call a female knight?” Andrea wondered. “A dame ,of course.”

A dame who was speeding away again while taking Lori with her. Andrea couldn’t help but feel a little pang of jealousy. The walker started to get up again. Daryl put an arrow through its head and they were on their way again.

The shock had worn off while they were walking and it was replaced by anger. First Andrea was angry with herself for being so weak, but the more she thought about it the more she got angry with the others. It was their fault she couldn’t defend herself from that walker.  Dale had confiscated her gun- the very gun her father had given to her personally- because he thought it was too dangerous. It wasn’t fair. After all Lori was allowed the carry one just because she was the sheriff’s wife. They had no right to decide who should be allowed to defend themselves and who shouldn’t.

She was out here in the forest as well as she risked her life looking for Sophia. Didn’t that seem to be a good reason for protection?

They didn’t even know if the girl was still alive. After two days alone in the forest, she was probably dead already. They were all thinking it, but nobody dared to say it out loud. How long do people wait before they admit to themselves that their missing cat isn’t coming home anymore? A week, two weeks, or a month?  Andrea pondered to herself.

She heard Carol, Sophia’s mother, call for her girl again. The woman was getting desperate and Andrea felt guilty for her train of thought. Comparing a child with a cat,..how could she? If it had been her sister Amy that was missing, she would have wanted the others to keep looking as well. At least she knew what had happened to her sister.

Andrea walked over to Carol and put a comforting hand on her shoulder. “We won’t stop looking for her until we find her. I promise you that.”

Daryl joined in “She right, but it’s getting dark. We have to go back to the highway. We’ll start looking again tomorrow.”

Dale was waiting for them when they got back. “I heard screaming.  Was that you Andrea?” Andrea walked right by him.

”It’s your fault I was screaming in the first place.” she thought to herself. While Andrea cooled off Daryl got Dale up to speed. The group decided to stay on the highway for one more night and in the morning they would join up with the group at the farm. One more night and she would see her knightess again. She didn’t even get a chance to thank her. She just ran off with Lori. Lori, who hadn’t really lost anything yet. She still had a gun, a husband, and a son who wasn’t missing. Fine he did get shot, but he would probably live. When Andrea focused on that thought, she started to feel guilty again, since they didn’t really know how bad it was. “What’s up with all the guilt lately” she said to herself “it’s not like I haven’t lost anyone and they don’t seem to feel sorry for me much.”

They left a message and some supplies for Sophia and headed to the farm, where they were welcomed with open arms. At least there were still some good people in the world.

Lori’s son would live too, which was also a good thing. She was shortly introduced to Maggie, her knightess in shining armor, also known as the farmer’s daughter and that was definitely a good thing.  She still had to thank her though, which was why she was headed to the farm’s porch right now. Maggie was sitting in the rocking chair, using one foot to keep it steady while she overlooked the farm grounds.

“Can I sit with you?” Andrea asked. The younger girl nodded.

“I don’t know if you recognize me.”

“You’re the women I saved in the forest.” Maggie said.

“Yes, I wanted to thank you for that. You saved my life.”

“You’re welcome. It was the least I could do.”

“The least?” Andrea said, clearly impressed. “Racing by on a horse and clubbing that walker with a baseball bat is pretty impressive.”

Maggie gave Andrea a quick once over “I’d say you look pretty capable yourself, but then again I just had to save your ass.”

“Well give me a gun and that walker would be dead in seconds.” Andrea replied with a smirk.

“Right dead.” The younger girl didn’t seem to like the sound of that.

“Or maybe I should find myself a baseball bat, since they seem to do the job quite well.” She said to cheer the girl up. Maggie smiled at that and had her own little smirk on her face.

They sat in a comfortable silence for a while, enjoying the sun. Andrea switched between gazing at the farm and gazing at Maggie. She was still so young, probably not older than 24 and full of willpower. The willpower Andrea herself had lost when Amy died, but she was slowly finding new reasons to keep fighting and keep surviving. Maggie caught her staring and she quickly averted her gaze. That’s when she saw Dale looking her way from his seat on top of the RV. All eyes seemed to be on her, which made her a bit uncomfortable so she made her excuses and went inside to check up on Lori and her son.

Andrea was just about to climb on top of the RV when she heard a horse approaching. Two horses actually. It was Maggie. She looked good, sitting on the horse, wearing jeans with a t-shirt and a cowboy hat, the baseball bat at the side of her saddle where it belonged. The word hot actually crossed Andrea’s mind. “Hot? What am I thinking? She’s 22 years old and a girl for that matter.” She filed it away as hero-worshipping. Maggie had saved her life after all, leaving quite an impression.

“Found a baseball bat yet?” Maggie asked her.

“No, but I did get my gun back so I’m good.” She replied and there was that troubled look on the girl’s face again. “Don’t worry. Shane taught me how to use it properly. I won’t accidentally shoot someone.”

“I’m going to make a quick run to town. We’re running low on meds. Do you and your gun want to come along? I have an extra horse with me after all.” Maggie said. Andrea felt honored for a second. “And Lori said I should ask you, because then you’d be doing something useful for once.” So much for feeling honored. “Thanks a lot, Lori” Andrea thought.

“Of course I’ll come with you, even though keeping watch is actually useful. Someone has to make sure Lori’s attempt at normality doesn’t get overrun by walkers.”

Aside from nearly passing up a chance to ride alongside her knightess, perhaps she really should thank Lori. She should really work on that hero-worshipping too apparently. What was she thinking lately?

While she climbed on the second horse Dale came outside. “Are you leaving?” he asked rather worried. Dale had been worried about her ever since she decided to stay inside the CDC, waiting for it to self-destruct. He had taken that choice away from her, but that didn’t mean that she wouldn’t try something like that again. He couldn’t bear the thought of losing her.

“Don’t worry Dale. It’s not another suicide mission. Just a quick run to town.” Andrea said to ease his anxious mind. “We’ll be back before you can say walkers!” she added while riding off with Maggie not too far behind her. She felt Dale’s eyes on her back.

“Walkers” Dale said to himself when he couldn’t see them anymore.

“So what is up with you, Dale and suicide?” Maggie knew it might be a sensitive subject, but she wanted to make sure Andrea had her back on this little mission.

“I had a sister. She was about your age actually. One day our camp got overrun by walkers and Amy was the first who got bit. She died in my arms.” Andrea’s eyes started to water. It was the first time she had to recount the day’s events to someone. The others from her group all knew what happened. They were there. “It was the day before her birthday.”

“I’m so sorry.” Maggie said as she put a hand over Andrea’s, which was holding the horse’s reins. She was sort of having a hard time keeping the horse under control while remembering those last fatal minutes. She wasn’t used to riding a horse after all. Maggie let go of her hand to help her with the horse.

“Thank you”

“You don’t have to talk about it. I shouldn’t have asked.” Maggie said seeing how difficult it was for Andrea.

“We went to the CDC after that onnly to find out that there was no cure. I believe that was the final blow for me. I just lost all hope. So when the CDC started to self-destruct I decided to stay inside. I didn’t want to live anymore. Dale refused to leave without me. I couldn’t bear the guilt so I ran out with him at the last second to save his life.”

“That’s very noble of you.”

“Is it noble, that I still can’t forgive him for taking my choice away from me? Forcing me to live on when I didn’t want to.” Andrea asked. The question more meant for herself than Maggie.

“You seemed pretty willing to live when that walker was all over you in the forest.”

Maggie had a point there, but Andrea wasn’t ready to admit it yet.

“That was instinct, pure instinct.” Andrea pointed out. “The truth is, I haven’t made up my mind yet. Do I want to live or die? All I know is that I’m not deciding anything today. So Dale doesn’t have to worry and neither do you.” Andrea reassured the younger girl.

They made it to the pharmacy in one piece. Maggie handed her a piece of paper.

“Here’s your shopping list. I’m going to look for some antibiotics in the back.”

While the younger girl made her way to the back of the little store, Andrea took a closer look at her list. It was clearly Lori’s handwriting.

Shampoo

Razor blades

At least 3 toothbrushes

Tampons

Andrea looked around. The shampoo stood in a shelf not to far away from her and it seemed there was plenty left. Personal hygiene wasn’t the first thing that came to mind when people raided the pharmacy apparently. She grabbed two of the shelf, one for the house and one for the RV. The toothbrushes were on the other side of the shelf. What did the note say, at least 3? “Rick, Lori and Carl.” Andrea huffed to herself. She took all the toothbrushes on the shelf. Then she saw the razor blades at the bottom of the shelf. That just left, she checked her note, tampons. She didn’t see them anywhere.

“Did you find everything you need?” Maggie asked as she emerged from the back.

“Almost, where are the tampons?”

“Oh, you need tampons?” Maggie walked to the back corner of the store and Andrea followed.

“They’re not for me.” Andrea said as she took the box and put it in her bag.

“Good,” Maggie said, “Because I was planning on doing this.” The last word was muffled, because Maggie’s lips were already touching hers.

She was kissing Maggie and not just a touch of lips. Maggie had snuck her tongue inside her mouth at some point and damn she was a good kisser. Maggie, her knightess in shining armor, the farmer’s daughter who was only 22, was… trying to unbutton her jeans? “Shit what am I doing?” Andrea pushed Maggie away. We shouldn’t be doing this. Do you know how old I am?”

Maggie knew that was rhetorical, but she answered anyway. “30 or something.”

“36! I’m 36, Maggie!” Andrea said, but felt flattered nonetheless. “You’re only 22 and you still live with your parents.” Maggie didn’t seem to care. “And you’re a girl.” Andrea added as an afterthought.

“My being young and still living at the farm doesn’t mean that I’m innocent.”  Maggie retorted. “I have experimented at college.”

“Good, you should experiment a little, but that was with girls your own age Maggie.”

Maggie tried to kiss her again, but Andrea kept her at arm’s length. “Let’s go back to the farm.” She said as she turned around.

“You want it too. You kissed me back!” Maggie shouted behind her back.

Andrea sighed. The girl was right, but kissing her was wrong. Not because she was a girl, hell Andrea went to college too, but the girl was younger than her own sister.

The ride back to the farm was spent in silence and not the kind of comfortable silence they were in at the farm’s porch not too long ago. When they got back, they parted ways.

Andrea kept herself busy by bestowing everyone with a new toothbrush. That was a very useful thing to do, right?