Sing Me To Sleep (Emily/JJ 1/?)
Title: Sing Me To Sleep
Author: wiked_nachos
Fandom/Pairing: Criminal Minds - JJ/Emily
Summary: The events following Emily's return from the 'dead'. Direct sequel to Late Night Rendezvouz.
Rating: G, nothing graphic, no swearing. Just feelings and a little angst.
Disclaimer: I own nothing but if I did, JJ never would have left and Emily never would have 'died'.
There was an eerie silence filling the kitchen. The moment the two women had stepped into the room, JJ had pushed Emily away and distanced herself to the other side of the centre island. While the brunette wanted nothing more than to run around the bench and wrap her arms around JJ, planning to never let go, she could tell that her sudden reappearance had spooked the younger woman. She decided to stay where she was. JJ didn't want to let the brunette out of her sight but at the moment she couldn't stand to look at her. Letting go of Emily was something JJ vowed to never do twice.
Her hands were planted against the edge of the sink, her posture full of surrender. When her eyes immediately found the subtle diamond ring sitting on her left ring finger, she slowly followed Emily into the lounge. Behind her, JJ could hear Emily stripping herself of her heavy wool coat now that they were inside, and shuffling around to try and heat the house up. A few minutes later she could hear the blonde hesitantly follow her into the lounge. The first thing she noticed about JJ was that she had turned to face Emily but closed herself off by folding her arms tightly across her chest. The look on her face almost made Emily want to run and hide, but she was determined to fight for her old life.
For some reason she felt like she had been caught snooping around another person's house when she was looking at the photos on the walls and bookshelves. She wished she didn't feel like this. "Say something. Please."
JJ wasn't sure if she would be able to say anything without letting another choked sob out. Her brow furrowed as she tried to take a breath and calm herself. If she didn't say anything now, she never would. And that would make things awfully difficult when it came time to explain Emily's return from the dead to the rest of the team and FBI. "I'm so confused right now."
"Confused about what?" Emily inched forward and instantly knew that JJ had caught on to what she was doing. The only thing she wanted to do was to hold the blonde and never let go. JJ remained silent for so long that Emily was able to reach the other side of the couch without her flinching away.
"I don't know what I'm supposed to feel, or do. It feels like keeping this secret for so long...from the team, from Henry...it's like it's nearly broken me. I want to feel happy that you're home, but I can't because I think I should be mad and hate you even though I let you go, I let you walk away. Then I just want to hold you and kiss you and tell you that I love you. I just..." She broke off as Emily's hand came up to cup her cheek. The brunette was just thankful that she didn't flinch, but did the opposite and leaned into the touch. "I don't know."
They were silent again for a few moments, but the vibe in the room had change. It was no longer awkward.
"Everything you just said," Emily started. Her thumb began stroking back and forth across the blonde's cheek. "That tells me that you care. You can hate me if you want. I wouldn't blame you. But to do that you have to think and feel about why you would hate me. You wouldn't think about it if you didn't care. It's just who you are Jennifer. It's one of those qualities that I love about you."
JJ's eyes slid shut for the briefest moment as Emily gave into her cravings, and the blonde's hands slid up the strong arms to the brunette's neck. She was trapped against the back of the couch. The hands on her hips felt too light to be genuine, the pale skin beneath her fingers too soft to be the real thing, the body leaning against hers too warm and solid to not be a figment of her imagination. It was all too good to be true. She was convinced it was a dream, and if she opened her eyes now Emily wouldn't be there.
"You're wearing the ring." Emily had noticed the jewellery piece when JJ's hands had brushed up her arms, a tiny glare reflecting off of the diamond giving away its position.
"I never take it off," JJ admitted, sinking further into the embrace. It was true. She had never taken it off since she slid it down her finger the morning of Emily's funeral. She had needed something from the brunette with her; otherwise she wouldn't have been able to make it through the day. Emily let a sad smile grace her lips.
"Baby, open your eyes. I want to see those beautiful blue eyes of yours." If JJ opened her eyes, Emily would be able to see into her very soul and then be able to assess just how much damage her death and secret existence had caused for the woman she loved.
"No," came out as a broken whisper. "I can't."
"Why not?"
"If I open my eyes, you won't be here."
"Jayje, I'm not going anywhere. I promise you."
"Prove it."
"I can't. Not unless you open those gorgeous eyes." There was a spark in the electric blue eyes as JJ's eyelids slid open and took in the appearance of Emily standing in front of her with her hands still on JJ's hips, her body still pushing her onto the back of the couch. There was still pale skin underneath JJ's hands. "I told you, I'm not going anywhere."
There was a burning sensation across the muscles of JJ's lower back as one of Emily's hands snuck under the edge of her shirt, pulling her impossibly closer until their foreheads were touching. It was a feeling of comfort and one of familiarity for both women. A simple gesture spoke volumes of intimacy between them and JJ's eyes slid closed again as she took solace in Emily's arms. "I love you Em. So much it hurts."
"I love you too, Jennifer," Emily whispered, her breath tickling the shell of JJ's ear.
"I'm still mad at you though."
"I thought you were confused. Now I'm confused," the brunette admitted softly earning a quick chuckle from JJ. Even after faking her death and spending months apart, she still had the ability to make JJ laugh.
JJ turned serious quickly after a brief moment of Emily's comedy. "I'm confused about how to feel now that you're home. I'm mad at you for going rogue."
She looked away ashamed. Emily had had to remind herself every day since leaving JJ sitting at that cafe in Paris that she had left to protect them. If Doyle knew she was alive he wouldn't stop hunting her and his first targets would most likely be her BAU family. She had betrayed them by not filling them in, but she would do everything to keep him away from the ones she loved. Her death was the only way that would happen. Still, that didn't stop the tears welling up her eyes and the guilt squeezing her heart so hard that it felt like she was going to die.
JJ could feel her pulling away again, physically and emotionally distancing herself from the blond; she couldn't lose Emily a second time. "Don't shut me out please. I need you here. With me."
"I'm not going anywhere. It's just going to take some time for me to open about it all. You probably know all of it anyways."
"We know Lauren's side of the story. We don't know Emily's side." There was a softness in JJ's eyes that was comforting to the brunette. That was enough encouragement for Emily to press her lips against JJ's, savouring the feeling and flavour she had missed so badly, and they began to fight for a gentle dominance. They had all the time in the world to relearn everything that had been pushed aside and forgotten about, yet craved at the same time.
Their quickly becoming heated make out session was cut short when JJ pulled back and let out deep yawn into Emily's shoulder. She was rubbing her eyes tiredly when Emily's hand gently forced her head back up so she could take a proper look at JJ. "You look so tired." A lone finger reached out to trace the dark circles under the blonde's eyes.
"That's because I am tired. I don't sleep very well anymore. Haven't been able to since you left."
"Jay, I'm sorry." JJ could hear the sincerity in Emily's voice, and see the truth in her eyes. In an instant, her heart forgave the woman standing in front of her. The whole experience of hiding as someone else, and hunting as an unsub would seemed to have a large impact on Emily as well. Doyle had fractured her. JJ would fix her. "I'm so sorry."
"I know you are, so you don't have to keep saying it." They were talking in whispers now. There was no need to speak loudly across the small space between them. A warm sensation settled in the pit of JJ's stomach as her body became hypersensitive to the slightest movement of Emily's hands. Her voice dropped several octaves, her hands shifting slightly to the hem of the thin grey sweater Emily was wearing. "But you can show me."
Without breaking eye contact, JJ pulled at the bottom of the material to lift it clear over Emily's head. She dropped it behind her on the couch. Emily could see a glint in JJ's eyes, full of need and sprinkled with humour. She immediately knew why.
"We've got to stop meeting like this," the brunette breathed out. She was referring to their first time together. After a late dinner, Emily had suggested a movie to relax and unwind from the stress of their last case. JJ had apparently had other plans because the next thing the brunette knew she was pinned against the back of the couch, JJ's tongue seeking entrance into her mouth.
"I don't think I mind, meeting you like this." JJ's first kiss was filled with raw desire and need. Her hands were gripping at the shirt covering Emily's shoulders, effectively pulling her into JJ. As their tongues battled and bodies grew closer, JJ began to unbutton the black material that was keeping her from reintroducing her hands with Emily's skin.
As the buttons popped open one after the other, Emily suddenly became rather self-conscious of the scar just above her left breast. Although it had faded, the bad representation of a four leaf clover was a constant reminder of the reason for their forced separation. Her shirt was hanging open, the blood red bra visible was contrasting perfectly to the pale skin. It was pushed from her shoulders to drop to a heap on the floor. When a cold finger traced the pink scar, Emily let out a gasp, only to suck another breath in when JJ's head bent and her tongue slid over the raised flesh.
"Not here. If we're gonna do this, we're gonna do it right." Her fingers pulled the clip from JJ's hair, the blonde locks cascading over her shoulders. "This isn't going to be a quickie on the couch."
"I need you, Em. Now." JJ's breathing rate had spiked, along with her heart rate, as her hand flattened against Emily's taut stomach. It felt like her body was on fire from the simple gestures.
JJ could practically feel her body humming with anticipation as Emily began working on the white shirt she was wearing. "Upstairs. I'm not doing this on the couch, Jen," Emily stressed, pulling the blonde into another searing kiss. She began walking backwards, her fingers linked in the loops of JJ's slacks, directing them towards the stairs. "I'm going to make love to you."
Author: wiked_nachos
Fandom/Pairing: Criminal Minds - JJ/Emily
Summary: The events following Emily's return from the 'dead'. Direct sequel to Late Night Rendezvouz.
Rating: G, nothing graphic, no swearing. Just feelings and a little angst.
Disclaimer: I own nothing but if I did, JJ never would have left and Emily never would have 'died'.
There was an eerie silence filling the kitchen. The moment the two women had stepped into the room, JJ had pushed Emily away and distanced herself to the other side of the centre island. While the brunette wanted nothing more than to run around the bench and wrap her arms around JJ, planning to never let go, she could tell that her sudden reappearance had spooked the younger woman. She decided to stay where she was. JJ didn't want to let the brunette out of her sight but at the moment she couldn't stand to look at her. Letting go of Emily was something JJ vowed to never do twice.
Her hands were planted against the edge of the sink, her posture full of surrender. When her eyes immediately found the subtle diamond ring sitting on her left ring finger, she slowly followed Emily into the lounge. Behind her, JJ could hear Emily stripping herself of her heavy wool coat now that they were inside, and shuffling around to try and heat the house up. A few minutes later she could hear the blonde hesitantly follow her into the lounge. The first thing she noticed about JJ was that she had turned to face Emily but closed herself off by folding her arms tightly across her chest. The look on her face almost made Emily want to run and hide, but she was determined to fight for her old life.
For some reason she felt like she had been caught snooping around another person's house when she was looking at the photos on the walls and bookshelves. She wished she didn't feel like this. "Say something. Please."
JJ wasn't sure if she would be able to say anything without letting another choked sob out. Her brow furrowed as she tried to take a breath and calm herself. If she didn't say anything now, she never would. And that would make things awfully difficult when it came time to explain Emily's return from the dead to the rest of the team and FBI. "I'm so confused right now."
"Confused about what?" Emily inched forward and instantly knew that JJ had caught on to what she was doing. The only thing she wanted to do was to hold the blonde and never let go. JJ remained silent for so long that Emily was able to reach the other side of the couch without her flinching away.
"I don't know what I'm supposed to feel, or do. It feels like keeping this secret for so long...from the team, from Henry...it's like it's nearly broken me. I want to feel happy that you're home, but I can't because I think I should be mad and hate you even though I let you go, I let you walk away. Then I just want to hold you and kiss you and tell you that I love you. I just..." She broke off as Emily's hand came up to cup her cheek. The brunette was just thankful that she didn't flinch, but did the opposite and leaned into the touch. "I don't know."
They were silent again for a few moments, but the vibe in the room had change. It was no longer awkward.
"Everything you just said," Emily started. Her thumb began stroking back and forth across the blonde's cheek. "That tells me that you care. You can hate me if you want. I wouldn't blame you. But to do that you have to think and feel about why you would hate me. You wouldn't think about it if you didn't care. It's just who you are Jennifer. It's one of those qualities that I love about you."
JJ's eyes slid shut for the briefest moment as Emily gave into her cravings, and the blonde's hands slid up the strong arms to the brunette's neck. She was trapped against the back of the couch. The hands on her hips felt too light to be genuine, the pale skin beneath her fingers too soft to be the real thing, the body leaning against hers too warm and solid to not be a figment of her imagination. It was all too good to be true. She was convinced it was a dream, and if she opened her eyes now Emily wouldn't be there.
"You're wearing the ring." Emily had noticed the jewellery piece when JJ's hands had brushed up her arms, a tiny glare reflecting off of the diamond giving away its position.
"I never take it off," JJ admitted, sinking further into the embrace. It was true. She had never taken it off since she slid it down her finger the morning of Emily's funeral. She had needed something from the brunette with her; otherwise she wouldn't have been able to make it through the day. Emily let a sad smile grace her lips.
"Baby, open your eyes. I want to see those beautiful blue eyes of yours." If JJ opened her eyes, Emily would be able to see into her very soul and then be able to assess just how much damage her death and secret existence had caused for the woman she loved.
"No," came out as a broken whisper. "I can't."
"Why not?"
"If I open my eyes, you won't be here."
"Jayje, I'm not going anywhere. I promise you."
"Prove it."
"I can't. Not unless you open those gorgeous eyes." There was a spark in the electric blue eyes as JJ's eyelids slid open and took in the appearance of Emily standing in front of her with her hands still on JJ's hips, her body still pushing her onto the back of the couch. There was still pale skin underneath JJ's hands. "I told you, I'm not going anywhere."
There was a burning sensation across the muscles of JJ's lower back as one of Emily's hands snuck under the edge of her shirt, pulling her impossibly closer until their foreheads were touching. It was a feeling of comfort and one of familiarity for both women. A simple gesture spoke volumes of intimacy between them and JJ's eyes slid closed again as she took solace in Emily's arms. "I love you Em. So much it hurts."
"I love you too, Jennifer," Emily whispered, her breath tickling the shell of JJ's ear.
"I'm still mad at you though."
"I thought you were confused. Now I'm confused," the brunette admitted softly earning a quick chuckle from JJ. Even after faking her death and spending months apart, she still had the ability to make JJ laugh.
JJ turned serious quickly after a brief moment of Emily's comedy. "I'm confused about how to feel now that you're home. I'm mad at you for going rogue."
She looked away ashamed. Emily had had to remind herself every day since leaving JJ sitting at that cafe in Paris that she had left to protect them. If Doyle knew she was alive he wouldn't stop hunting her and his first targets would most likely be her BAU family. She had betrayed them by not filling them in, but she would do everything to keep him away from the ones she loved. Her death was the only way that would happen. Still, that didn't stop the tears welling up her eyes and the guilt squeezing her heart so hard that it felt like she was going to die.
JJ could feel her pulling away again, physically and emotionally distancing herself from the blond; she couldn't lose Emily a second time. "Don't shut me out please. I need you here. With me."
"I'm not going anywhere. It's just going to take some time for me to open about it all. You probably know all of it anyways."
"We know Lauren's side of the story. We don't know Emily's side." There was a softness in JJ's eyes that was comforting to the brunette. That was enough encouragement for Emily to press her lips against JJ's, savouring the feeling and flavour she had missed so badly, and they began to fight for a gentle dominance. They had all the time in the world to relearn everything that had been pushed aside and forgotten about, yet craved at the same time.
Their quickly becoming heated make out session was cut short when JJ pulled back and let out deep yawn into Emily's shoulder. She was rubbing her eyes tiredly when Emily's hand gently forced her head back up so she could take a proper look at JJ. "You look so tired." A lone finger reached out to trace the dark circles under the blonde's eyes.
"That's because I am tired. I don't sleep very well anymore. Haven't been able to since you left."
"Jay, I'm sorry." JJ could hear the sincerity in Emily's voice, and see the truth in her eyes. In an instant, her heart forgave the woman standing in front of her. The whole experience of hiding as someone else, and hunting as an unsub would seemed to have a large impact on Emily as well. Doyle had fractured her. JJ would fix her. "I'm so sorry."
"I know you are, so you don't have to keep saying it." They were talking in whispers now. There was no need to speak loudly across the small space between them. A warm sensation settled in the pit of JJ's stomach as her body became hypersensitive to the slightest movement of Emily's hands. Her voice dropped several octaves, her hands shifting slightly to the hem of the thin grey sweater Emily was wearing. "But you can show me."
Without breaking eye contact, JJ pulled at the bottom of the material to lift it clear over Emily's head. She dropped it behind her on the couch. Emily could see a glint in JJ's eyes, full of need and sprinkled with humour. She immediately knew why.
"We've got to stop meeting like this," the brunette breathed out. She was referring to their first time together. After a late dinner, Emily had suggested a movie to relax and unwind from the stress of their last case. JJ had apparently had other plans because the next thing the brunette knew she was pinned against the back of the couch, JJ's tongue seeking entrance into her mouth.
"I don't think I mind, meeting you like this." JJ's first kiss was filled with raw desire and need. Her hands were gripping at the shirt covering Emily's shoulders, effectively pulling her into JJ. As their tongues battled and bodies grew closer, JJ began to unbutton the black material that was keeping her from reintroducing her hands with Emily's skin.
As the buttons popped open one after the other, Emily suddenly became rather self-conscious of the scar just above her left breast. Although it had faded, the bad representation of a four leaf clover was a constant reminder of the reason for their forced separation. Her shirt was hanging open, the blood red bra visible was contrasting perfectly to the pale skin. It was pushed from her shoulders to drop to a heap on the floor. When a cold finger traced the pink scar, Emily let out a gasp, only to suck another breath in when JJ's head bent and her tongue slid over the raised flesh.
"Not here. If we're gonna do this, we're gonna do it right." Her fingers pulled the clip from JJ's hair, the blonde locks cascading over her shoulders. "This isn't going to be a quickie on the couch."
"I need you, Em. Now." JJ's breathing rate had spiked, along with her heart rate, as her hand flattened against Emily's taut stomach. It felt like her body was on fire from the simple gestures.
JJ could practically feel her body humming with anticipation as Emily began working on the white shirt she was wearing. "Upstairs. I'm not doing this on the couch, Jen," Emily stressed, pulling the blonde into another searing kiss. She began walking backwards, her fingers linked in the loops of JJ's slacks, directing them towards the stairs. "I'm going to make love to you."