Fic: A Queen's Campion
A Queen's Champion
by Erin Griffin
Fandom: Alice in Wonderland (2010)
Pairing: Alice/White Queen mention, possible Alice/OFC
Disclaimer: The characters here belong to Lewis Carrol and Disney.
AN: Written for my Homie. Sorry I never got around to the Harry Potter story I promised you forever and a day ago. Hope you like it.
Alice ignored the stares she received while she took her first steps onto the London docks in over two years. She was used to people looking at her strangely by now. Though she wasn't the only one who wore trousers on a daily basis, it was still seen as improper. Her mother was often quite vocal on this fact, which was part of the reason why it had taken her over two years to want to set foot in London. The other reason... It wasn't until she got a letter from her sister saying she and Lowel had their first child and insisted on coming home that Alice considered going back. As she took another step in front of her, a part of her (the part of her that had grown small since her time in Underland, yet still roared quietly in the far crevises of her mind) begged for her to turn back, to stay on the boat and wait out the holiday. She quickly told herself how completely mad that idea was. Even if it wasn't freezing on the boat, she would be alone, and it wasn't nearly as fun without the other men to play cards with. Alice herself had to finally admit that she missed her family, and she was eager to meet her nephew Henry. Besides, she had spent many afternoons in the Chinese marketplaces, picking out various things that she would eventually give to her family were she to go home for Christmas or a birthday. She still wanted to give those out.
Alice felt a large, yet gentle hand on her shoulder, and she realized that she had stopped walking, blocking the platform to the docks. Alice looked over her shoulder and up into the eyes of Mao Chin, her best friend. Mao Chin stood a head taller than every man in the crew Alice traveled with in Lord Ascott's employ. Mao Chin had helped out a lot on the Chinese docks and was soon apart of Lord Ascott's crew. It had taken almost a month for the tall man to even aknowledge Alice, though it was common knowledge that he disapproved of her dress as well as the improper way she behaved.
Alice remained unaffected by it all, as Mao Chin hadn't been the only one to feel this way at first. She continued to conduct busness with Lord Ascott and play cards with those who didn't mind the way she dressed. She listened to their crude jokes, and even laughed at some of them after a while. Most of the time at sea, however, Alice was seen alone, either with a book- usually The Time Machine by HG Wells- or off inside her own thoughts as she stared out to sea. It hadn't been until they had gotten to England a year ago that Mao Chin had spoken directly to her. She had spent the day with the children of one of the crew, at first watching them play before one of them sat by her in the grass. Not long later, she found herself speaking of the place and people she'd kept close to the vest for so many months. It'd felt good to share them, even if the children took it as merely a story. Mao Chin had gone with the crewman (Alice recalled his name to be Harold) to get his children and he'd heard Alice speak so fondly of the Mad Hatter. The children hadn't wanted to leave until the story was finished, which the young woman did, though hurriedly. Mao Chin walked with her then, and in broken English and what little Chinese Alice knew, he told Alice that her story reminded him of the ones he heard as a child. They spent the next voyage to China exchanging stories, and their friendship had been born.
"Are you alright?" Mao Chin asked in Chinese, his voice low so he wasn't overheard. His English was much improved in the last two years, as was Alice's Chinese, and the two often switched back and forth when appropriate, or not in this case.
"I'm afraid I've changed," Alice said, replying also in Chinese.
"I do not understand," Mao Chin said, this time in English. The two got a strange look - and why wouldn't they? A large Chinaman and an English girl in trousers standing so casually together? It was an odd sight indeed.
"I haven't seen my family in two years. I've changed," she said again.
"As have they," Mao Chin said simply. Alice felt the slightest push, urging her to move again, and she did, forcing herself to place once foot in front of the other.
Alice was still worried. Her mother and sister already disapproved of the way she dressed, but if they only knew HOW she'd change beyond her love for trousers. It had scared Alice so much that she wouldn't go home for two years. As if to sense her lingering fear, Mao Chin patted her shoulder and picked up her bag containing her belongings. Together, the two of them met up with Lord Ascott as he signed papers, and then the three of them went to the carriage. Since Mao Chin had nowhere to go in London, he rented one of the small cottages on Lord Ascott's land.
As the carriage moved, Alice felt herself feeling a little uneasy. She wasn't sick, but she was nowhere near comfortable. She never did like carriages, but after the rocky motions of the sea, she wondered if she could ever get used to it. She would much rather brave the roughest storms on the water, the salted air in her nostrels, than jolt over every hole in the man-made roads with the smell of horses filling the carriage the whole way. Alice knew that her favorite way to travel would always be on the back of the Bandersnatch. It had something to do with the trust between beast and woman, the unity as she held onto his thick fur as she rode, and the moment of having one goal in mind: to save their queen.
Alice kept her mind from the rickety carriage ride- as well as the one who had captured her heart and mind the most since leaving Underland - by engaging Lord Ascott in talk of buisness, and it worked. Even Mao Chin was able to contribute as the three of them spoke about often random ideas to improve trading in China. So caught up was she that Alice hadn't hadn't noticed that snow had fallen as they passed through parts of her hometown. The scenery outside of the carriage was becoming familiar, and she wasn't sure how she felt about that. She recognized the road to one of her mother's friends' home. She was certain that many of the social circle her family used to be apart of disowned her mother after Alice refused to marry Hamish, even if Lord Ascott forgave her and Hamish had married someone else.
"Are you certain you don't wish to stay with your family tonight?" came the male voice in front of her.
"You'll be speaking with Mr. Graystone tonight at the party. I wouldn't want to miss it. There's much I still need to learn," Alice replied almost simply.
"But you've been to so many parties like this before, Alice, with me as well as with your father when he was alive," Lord Ascott protested. "You've not been back in over two years. I know your sister and mother miss you."
"I'll only be a few minutes, then I can help you set up the party, attend, and go home with them." Alice's eyes flickered to Mao Chin, but she wasn't sure if she wanted his input or not. It'd been him who encouraged her to go home after receiving the letter, and he never understood why she was so reluctant.
"Well, I don't wish to face the wrath of your mother. She can have a wicked tongue even when she's not angry. Keeping her daughter for a holiday busness party after already being away far too long won't keep me on her good side, my dear."
"I'll deal with my mother, Lord Ascott, sir. I am almost certain she'll be too distracted by my clothes to blame you for my absence." The two shared a small smile, and the rest of the trip was spent in a comfortable silence.
As predicted, Alice got an earfull, first about her clothes (which were oriental in style on top of being masculine), and then about her being gone for two years. "For Heaven's sake! Is Margarent going to have to stay withchild just so we'll see you more often?" she asked in a huff, rushing the traders inside. She bustled about for tea, or at least to order someone to get the tea, but Aice stopped her with a calm but firm hand on the arm.
"Mum," she said almost softly. It took a couple of seconds before Alice's mother turned, flinging her arms around the young woman's abdomen in a crushing hug.
"Oh, how we've missed you, Alice," she said. Her voice was choked, and Alice recognized the sounds of oncoming tears. It made her feel like a beast for the words she was about to say next.
"Mum, I'm not staying long. I-"
"No," the older woman said sternly, "you just got here! Margaret's on her way with Henry. Don't you want to see your nephew?"
"I will see you tonight at Lord Ascott's holiday party, and I'll be leaving with you," Alice explained, just as she had for her employer moments ago.
Alice's mother considered her, then whispered in her ear, "Is that what you're wearing to Lord Ascott's party?" Alice shook her head. She didn't have the heart to tell her mother what she was really planning to wear that night. "I suppose a few more hours of your absense won't be too much to bear." Lord Ascott started when Alice's mother turned to him suddenly. "With the new baby, we'll not be long, I'm afraid, but we will be there."
"I'm honored that you could attend," Lord Ascott replied with the smallest tilt of his head.
"I love you, Mum," Alice said as she hugged the woman again.
*****
Alice didn't understand why she was nervous. As Lord Ascott had said a couple of hours prior, she had been to many parties in the past two years alone. Alice had attended each of those parties in the same outfit she usually wore, but decided on a more traditional jacket since her family would be there. As it was, she planned to wear a Chinese style tunic over her favorite pair of oriental trousers, but found that the jacket given to her by Lord Ascott over a year ago went perfectly and made an excellent sustitution for the party. She still showed her adapted style as well as stuck with what people were used to. She knew no matter what, this would get her a look or two, but she'd always found her voice long enough to charm those around her - those that mattered, anyway. Though many buisness partners and fellow traders of Lord Ascott were invited to the party, the sole purpose was to celebrate Christmas in a few days. Well, that was what her employer had said many times, though Alice often thought differently. It was a holiday party, something she hadn't attended since becoming an apprentice. She was sure a family or two from that old social circle would be there. They were people who knew her before Underland. Before her father passed, even.
Alice jutted her chin forward as she looked at herself in the mirror. She had faced much worse than the harsh words of people she thought she knew, and she had three white horizontal lines on her arm to prove it. Whatever they may say either to her face or behind her back (she didn't care which), it wouldn't change anything about where she'd been or where she was going. It had nothing to do with who she was. Alice pulled down her jacket a little more and fixed her hair before she left the guest room Lord Ascott had allowed her to change in.
"Ah! There you are, Alice. You look... dashing, I must say. Is that the coat I bought you in Shanghai last year?"
Alice smiled. "You remember."
"A jacket like that is hard to forget. I thought you'd never find an appropriate time to wear it."
"Neither did I," Alice admitted. "I'm glad I finally found one," the young woman said, and she meant it. She agreed with the man that the jacket was a nice one, but it had been a problem for Alice simply because it was too elegant for the type of functions she typically attended. Even for a holiday party it seemed slightly over the top, and if Alice had any alternative to either garments she owned, she would have gladly donned that. Alice could only hope that wearing it helped make a good impression to anyone new she were to surely meet that night at the party.
One of the women Alice had seen bustling around the busy sitting room on her way inside the large house appeared suddenly at the top of the stairs before them. She waited for Lord Ascott to say, "Yes? What is it, Miss Winters?" before she spoke.
"A carriage is coming up, sir," she said. Lord Ascott nodded, and the woman left as quickly as she had appeared.
"I guess you're right on time," the man said to Alice. The two of them walked companionably down the stairs, and Alice knew that Lord Ascott resisted his upbringing by not extending his elbow for her to take. As Alice decended the stairs, she resisted her own past urge to slide down the banister. She'd done this once before when she was quite young and had nearly broken her neck, but that hadn't stopped her desire to try again now that she was older and wiser.
As the two of them made it to the bottom of the stairs, they were joined by Hamish and his new wife. Together the four of them walked to the porch and watched as a carriage pulled up. Alice didn't recognize it, so she knew it wasn't her family. The horses came to a stop, and the footman opened the door, revealing a tall, thin man. He was completely bald, and though his stature seemed intimidating at first glance, he had a wide smile as he stretched is legs, pat the footman on the back, and turned to help the other passengers. Soon, three women joined the tall man on the gravel and waited. The tall man led the way towards the porch, while Lord Ascott took steps to meet him halfway. The man's smile grew when he saw this, and he opened his armed wide as if to present himself.
"How long has it been?!" the man asked in such a loud voice, Alice was sure he could have been heard from far down the gravel road leading out of the Ascott property.
"The last time I received more than a monthly letter from you, my friend, you still had hair!" Lord Ascott replied.
"Ah!" the man let out in a partial laugh, partial growl, as if to tell his friend that he'd been verbally nicked, but hadn't been offended by the barb. If anything, he looked ready to banter the night away. When the men were close enough, he wrapped his arms around Lord Ascott in a large hug, which surprised all but the oldest of the women who had arrived. All of the young people had similar looks of being taken aback on their faces.
When Lord Ascott saw this, he let out a large laugh. "This is my good friend William Benson. William, this is my son Hamish and his wife, the lovely Fiona, and this is Alice Kingsleigh, my new apprentice. I suppose she's become much my daughter as well over the years." Alice smiled as her face became a little bit pink.
"More like a son," came a mutter from behind her, followed by a twitter of laughter. Alice's jaw went tight, but she didn't bother replying to Hamish in any way.
"How do you do?" Alice said to William, extending her hand forward for him to shake, her overall stance very much matching Lord Ascott's. Though William seemed taken aback by this gesture coming from a woman, he took Alice's hand anyway, turned it slightly and placed a kiss on top of it. Lord Ascott had a smirk on his face as he watched this exchange. Over the last eighteen months or so, he'd watched the young woman greet many people in this manner, and though he hadn't approved of it, he found it often charmed many of the other tradesmen, many of whom didn't take her nearly as seriously as they took themselves. As he'd guessed, William would have reverted to his old-fashioned ways and leave Alice as startled as she'd left him. Alice took a step back after reclaiming her hand.
"As I've written to you over the years, this is my wife, Joyce and our daughters, Cara and Cordelia."
"It's so nice to finally meet the women I've read so much about," Lord Ascott said at the same time all three women said their 'How do you do's'. He then looked over the two young women, both about Alice's age. Alice did as well. The younger of the two, introduced as Cordelia, had dirty blonde hair - the same color as her mother and sister's -and brown eyes. Her hands were folded in front of her, but she otherwise looked as though she'd rather be elsewhere. Alice recognized this look, as she often felt the same way whenever she had to go to a party in order for their family to stay in the social loop after her father died. Cordelia met her eye and gave a polite, but halfhearted smile. Alice in turn nodded her head slightly.
Alice was taken aback by the sight she saw when she had allowed herself to look to the other Benson daughter, and saw the eyes that stared back at her. There was a resemblance that Alice wanted to deny, and a reaction to it that Alice couldn't cease. Cara Benson looked exactly like Mirana, her White Queen. Cara's eyes were lighter perhaps - as the White Queen's eyes were black - but they still stared at her much in the way Mirana had: often questioningly, but always warmly. The young woman before Alice had Cordelia and Joyce's dirty blonde hair, but she otherwise had the same smile, the same pale skin as her queen.
Alice closed her eyes, breaking the eye contact as she tilted her head downwards. Surely she was just imagining things. Surely she was missing Underland far too much now adays and she was seeing its people everywhere. She prayed to look into a stranger's eyes when next she gazed at Cara, but when she looked up again many seconds later, she glanced into the eyes of the White Queen. No- she reminded herself, not Mirana, Cara Benson. Alice let out a mumbled 'Hello' and felt herself go slightly weak when the older Benson daughter responded with her own 'How do you do?' Alice tried to ignore the quivers and ache of her insides as she turned slightly towards the men who spoke loudly and happily to eachother, exchanging barbs and inside jokes there on the Ascotts' front porch.
Lord Ascott looked past William suddenly and said, "Looks like someone else has arrived early."
Alice looked up and recognizing the carriage this time, said, "Excuse me." She then bound down the stairs as she thanked the sky for the reason to be out of her discomfort, out of the gaze of Cara Benson.
"Alice hasn't really seen much of her family the last two years," Ascott explained.
"Keeping her busy, have you? I know how much of a slave driver - "
"I'll have you know, CHAP, that it was her own decision to stay abroad in China-"
Alice tuned out the rest of the conversartion as William reminded Lord Ascott of a misadventure in Bejing many years ago, which caused the other man to snort outright. As her family's carriage came to a stop, Alice opened the door, reaching her hand inside without seeing who she was reaching for first. She found herself holding a baby in the next instant, which surprised the young woman. Alice had expected to see a baby, but she didn't think little Henry would be as big as he was. Had she really been gone that long? The boy in her arms didn't cry as she had expected. He looked at her with eyes like his fathers and after Alice smiled at him, he opened his mouth and grinned with the lips of his mother.
Margaret and her mother joined Alice on the gravel and they all walked towards the porch. After another round of introductions and 'nice to meet you', Lord Ascott said, "Let's take this inside, shall we?"
Alice winced as Henry grabbed at her hair and pulled, then she nodded. "Yeah." All of them went inside to the sitting room, where tea waited for them.
*****
Over two and a half hours later, (Alice looked at her pocket watch for the fourth time to make sure), the party was in full swing. The queen's champion looked around and watched as people danced. There was no way she'd join in, as much as she'd been asked. The only one she'd even consider dancing with was Cara Benson, but even if it was allowed, she couldn't find the courage to breathe let alone ask the other woman for a dance. The one or two times she'd caught the other woman's eye, Alice got the impression that Cara wanted to say something to her, but they never got close enough to eachother for them to speak. When a woman with a tray of wine glasses passed by her, Alice grabbed ahold of one and took steps closer to the wall, hoping to slowly but surely disappear from the crowd.
"The only time I'd ever seen a woman in trousers, they had been on stage," came a voice to Alice's right. The blonde tried not to choke on the wine she'd just swallowed. She stood up straighter as she forced herself to look at Cara Benson. Alice's heart thudded in her chest, and she swallowed while trying to get her words out.
"I- er... Do you see many trousered women on stage?" Alice finally asked.
"No, just the once when I saw Kitty Butler and Nan King perfom in London last year," Cara replied, shaking her head. "It was all very silly." She laughed. Alice didn't know what to say, so she said nothing at all. She brought her wine glass to her lips once more.
Suddenly, the two young women were joined by Cordelia, who took her sister's arm and said, "I need you."
"But-" Cara protested, but had been cut off.
"Please! Father's got it in his head that since he couldn't get you to marry Edmond, that I should! It has yet to occur to him that Edmund is but twice our age, and the the biggest bore of the century! Please help me. Please?" There was a look that passed between sisters, one that was full of familiarity and inside conversation.
"Alright." Cara glanced back at Alice as if to apologize, but Cordelia' insistant tugging on her arm prevented further dialogue.
Alice placed her wine glass down with a slight look of disgust, and after buttoning up her jacket a little further, she moved through the crowd of people. She managed to make it out to the balcony unnoticed. Alice ran her fingers over the snow covered rail, tracing the letter M as her mind conjured up images of her White Queen Mirana, and she wondered what she was doing at that moment. She knew that there was a lot of damage to try and undo in Underland. Surely Mirana would remain busy for quite some time. Alice used the back of her hand to swipe at the snow, watching as it fell many feet below her. She felt the snow lightly touch her neck and hair as she thought about the look that has passed between a queen and her champion right before going into battle, and the nod that seemed to say everything and nothing at all. Alice looked up at the greyish-purple of the night, and if she thought hard enough, she could feel the cold flakes turn instead to the warm touch upon her cheek after she'd slain the Jabbawokey. Her heart hammered just as it had in the moment it'd happened. Alice recognized these feelings for what they were after the fact, but she never dared say it out loud. Who would she say it to? Who would understand, or even believe her?
Alice allowed the memories of Underland to overcome her, and she sighed at the image of Mirana's arms held up as she moved about freely. She had to remind herself time and again that the young woman in the house was not the woman who made her chest ache so. Yet it didn't stop the image of Mirana from changing, her snow white hair darkening while her coal black lips lightened. It didn't stop this image from causing her heart to beat just as fast.
"I just miss you," Alice said out loud; either to convince herself or just needing for it to be said was uncertain. There was no reply, and even Alice wasn't mad enough to expect one. The night remained silent as the blonde's cheeks became wet with both tears and melted snow. Alice's eyes fluttered shut as her dear friend the Hatter danced happily. She knew she should have been happy, for there was a better Undland now, but all she could feel was how she'd changed and how lonely that made her. So sad was she that Alice even found herself missing the Red Queen. She had been kind to Alice in a strange sort of way, right before she'd figured out that Alice was destined to kill her beloved pet.
Alice's eyes snapped open with a gasp and she took a startled step backwards at the feel of fingers upon her cheek. It took an extra second or two before it'd registered in her mind who had touched her and why it felt too familiar. Cara Benson stood before her once again, her pale ungloved fingers glistening with Alice's tears. Slowly, that hand lowered to her side. "I'm sorry," Cara said softly, "I didnt mean to seem insulting with my words. That wasn't what I intended at all." The dirty blonde woman looked down as she spoke now. "It's just that... Kitty Butler and Nan King are performers. They wear trousers as costumes, where you wear them with a grace that I've never seen even in men. In those trousers... It's like you're a knight - or - or a queen's champion."
Alice looked away, wiping the remainder of tears from her face as she sniffled. "That isn't-" the younger woman began to say, "That's not why I cry," she got out.
"Are you alright?" Cara took a step forward as if to again offer comfort, but she stopped when she saw Alice tense up.
Alice didn't want to seem rude to this woman, who couldn't possibly know the reasons for her odd behavior, let alone be at fault for it. Still, she couldn't seem to be any sort of normal around her. Cara shivered slightly, and Alice said, "We should go inside-"
"No," the older woman said firmly, which took Alice aback.
"What? Why?"
"Its... a bit stuffy in there," Cara replied. "I'm better off getting some fresh air and staying out of sight for a while."
"But you've no gloves even, and its freezing out here," Alice protested. Cara shrugged. "Here," Alice said, "at least stay warm with this." Alice had unbottoned and taken off her jacket as she spoke.
"No, its alright-" the older woman protested, but it had gone ignored as Alice took the steps neccisary and held the jacket open, waiting for the woman to turn around, which she did reluctantly with a sigh. Cara then closed the jacket in front of her. If Alice felt the cold of the snow, she didn't show it, but even so, Cara felt the small guilt of being warmer when the other girl was not. "Thank you," Cara said. Her cheeks colored slightly, something Alice tried her best to ignore. The older woman watched Alice's face for a moment before she spoke again. "You miss someone."
"Not just someone," Alice found herself admitting, "a few someone's. A somewhere," she said softly, mostly to herself now, even though Cara could still hear her.
"China?" Cara guessed. "Lord Ascott mentioned that you'd been there for two years. Was it because you liked it so much that you stayed for so long?"
"No, this place is before China, though I did like it there. That is where I met my best friend, Mao Chin..." Alice forced away the desire to tell Cara all about Underland - about Mirana - just as she had told those children a couple of years ago. She was afraid of being seen as crazy, and though her father always said that the best people are mad, many other people didn't think that way. She suddenly didn't know what she would do if she saw an odd look from this woman, one of slight fear as she looked at Alice.
There was another small silence between them. Inside, the dancing paused as a Christmas carol played by the hired orchestra. At one point during the party, William had tried to persuade Lord Ascott to read out A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens. Though Alice hadn't found the Christmas spirit since her father died, she hoped William had succeeded. She could only imagine what her employer must sound like when reading of ghosts and a cruel man such as Ebenezer Scrooge. When another song played, Cara's feet moved, shifting from one to the other. When the older woman saw Alice watching her, she said, "I do like this song."
"You can dance," Alice said in return, her shoulders lifting. She couldn't help but to think Cara as a little strange - she'd have to be, talking to Alice as if she was normal - but like Mirana, it was an endearing kind of strange.
"Oh, I couldn't," Cara said, "not by myself." The older girl seemed embaressed by even the thought of it.
"Why not? There's only the two of us here. No one's going to say anything if you do."
"Then dance with me," Cara suggested. Even as she spoke, she'd taken Alice's hand while placing her own on the younger woman's shoulder. When Alice didn't move, Cara removed the hand from the shoulder long enough to guide the younger woman's hand to her hip before resuming her earlier position.
"But I've never danced this way before," Alice protested, "and not with - "
"Just follow my lead," Cara said.
"In this position, isn't that what I'm to say to you?" Alice asked with slightly wide eyes, but Cara only tilted her head in a slight shrug. "What if someone sees?"
"You just said that its only us here. No one will say anything."
"I meant if you danced alone!" Alice said somewhat loudly.
"It'll be alright," Cara said with a laugh at the look on Alice's face, "fun, even." Cara counted down, and the two of them began to move. It didn't take long for Alice to get used to leading them around the balcony, their feet kicking up snow as they did the steps together. After a time or two of either bumping into the railing or into the door leading inside, Alice and Cara were able to find a rhythem, their laughter ringing in the otherwise silence of the snowy night. Alice at first concentrated on the way her feet moved, not the way Cara's hand burned the spot where it rested now over the white lines of the Bandersnatch scar, or the way her heart still seemed eager to leap from her chest. Alice then focused more on Cara's smiling face and less on her feet, which made the dancing a lot better. The song ended, and Cara let out a sigh of both relief and contentment. She leaned against the railing as the two women caught their breath after laughing so hard.
"Admit it," Cara finally said, catching Alice's eye, "that was fun."
Alice grinned, her eyes flickering away briefly before looking back again at the older woman. "Yeah," she finally said, "that was fun." She too walked to the railing and leaned against it after swiping away more of the snow, her elbows rested behind her.
After that, it had become a lot easier to speak to Cara as they told eachother about their lives growing up. Alice heard about Cara's own failed engagement, and about her childhood. The younger woman suspected she would've been fast friends with Cara as a child. They spoke for many minutes until the balcony door opened, revealing William Benson. It was apperant that he'd been drinking, as his skin was flushed all the way to his bald scalp, and his grin was even wider, if at all possible. Alice felt that he could give the Cheshire Cat a run for his money.
"Have you ladies been out'inna cold this whole time?" he asked, looking from his daughter to Alice. Alice took out her pocket watch and realized just how much time had passed since the last time, when she had checked it inside. When she looked back up at the man guiltily, she saw that William didn't seem angry. "Come on inside or you'll catch your death of cold!" he said with a grand gesture. "I hear Lord Ascott's gonna read A Christmas Carol. After we sing some carols of our own, of course."
Margaret, who had been walking by at that moment and had then joined William in the doorway, said, "I'm sorry, but we'll have to bow out of the rest of the festivities. Our mother has... exhausted herself. I've also got to get Henry to bed." Margaret smiled at William Benson, though apologetically.
"That's too bad," the man said, and he really seemed to mean it. He nodded to Margaret. "Come now, Cara," William said warmly to his daughter.
Cara took Alice's jacket off and returned it to the blonde. "Thank you for the dance," she said. She placed a hand on Alice's shoulder and a kiss on her cheek before she joined her father inside. Alice was about to walk inside herself when the balcony door was suddenly blocked.
"What was that?" Margaret hissed, grabbing a hold of Alice's arm. It didn't feel nearly as pleasent as when Cara had her hand there earlier. "A dance, a kiss on the cheek? You fancy yourself quite the gentleman, don't you?"
"Let go," Alice said in a low voice.
"You can't be doing this," Margaret continued as if Alice hadn't spoken. "First your refusal to marry Hamish, then the trousers, and now this? You can't go running around like a- like a-"
"You don't know what I am. I don't even know," Alice said, wretching her arm free of Margaret's grip.
"Well, you can't be a tom. It'll break Mum's heart." With that, Margaret went back inside.
Alice followed her sister, the words ringing in her head as she accepted her mother's hug. Alice then went to say a proper goodbye to Lord Ascott before helping her mother as she shuffled to the carriage. As she held her sleeping nephew in her arms on the way home, her mind wandered, not to the woman with white hair and coal-like eyes, but to Cara and the dance they'd had in the snow. She hoped that though she was no longer a queen's champion, she could possibly be... She dared not think further. As if to know her thoughts, Margaret glared at Alice in attept to rid her sister of them. Alice stared Margaret down before finally both sisters looked away at the same time. Alice watched the rise and fall of Henry's chest, and didn't stop the small smile that appeared upon her face.
"Curiouser and curiouser..." she whispered to herself.
Perhaps she could stand to stay in London a little longer...
by Erin Griffin
Fandom: Alice in Wonderland (2010)
Pairing: Alice/White Queen mention, possible Alice/OFC
Disclaimer: The characters here belong to Lewis Carrol and Disney.
AN: Written for my Homie. Sorry I never got around to the Harry Potter story I promised you forever and a day ago. Hope you like it.
Alice ignored the stares she received while she took her first steps onto the London docks in over two years. She was used to people looking at her strangely by now. Though she wasn't the only one who wore trousers on a daily basis, it was still seen as improper. Her mother was often quite vocal on this fact, which was part of the reason why it had taken her over two years to want to set foot in London. The other reason... It wasn't until she got a letter from her sister saying she and Lowel had their first child and insisted on coming home that Alice considered going back. As she took another step in front of her, a part of her (the part of her that had grown small since her time in Underland, yet still roared quietly in the far crevises of her mind) begged for her to turn back, to stay on the boat and wait out the holiday. She quickly told herself how completely mad that idea was. Even if it wasn't freezing on the boat, she would be alone, and it wasn't nearly as fun without the other men to play cards with. Alice herself had to finally admit that she missed her family, and she was eager to meet her nephew Henry. Besides, she had spent many afternoons in the Chinese marketplaces, picking out various things that she would eventually give to her family were she to go home for Christmas or a birthday. She still wanted to give those out.
Alice felt a large, yet gentle hand on her shoulder, and she realized that she had stopped walking, blocking the platform to the docks. Alice looked over her shoulder and up into the eyes of Mao Chin, her best friend. Mao Chin stood a head taller than every man in the crew Alice traveled with in Lord Ascott's employ. Mao Chin had helped out a lot on the Chinese docks and was soon apart of Lord Ascott's crew. It had taken almost a month for the tall man to even aknowledge Alice, though it was common knowledge that he disapproved of her dress as well as the improper way she behaved.
Alice remained unaffected by it all, as Mao Chin hadn't been the only one to feel this way at first. She continued to conduct busness with Lord Ascott and play cards with those who didn't mind the way she dressed. She listened to their crude jokes, and even laughed at some of them after a while. Most of the time at sea, however, Alice was seen alone, either with a book- usually The Time Machine by HG Wells- or off inside her own thoughts as she stared out to sea. It hadn't been until they had gotten to England a year ago that Mao Chin had spoken directly to her. She had spent the day with the children of one of the crew, at first watching them play before one of them sat by her in the grass. Not long later, she found herself speaking of the place and people she'd kept close to the vest for so many months. It'd felt good to share them, even if the children took it as merely a story. Mao Chin had gone with the crewman (Alice recalled his name to be Harold) to get his children and he'd heard Alice speak so fondly of the Mad Hatter. The children hadn't wanted to leave until the story was finished, which the young woman did, though hurriedly. Mao Chin walked with her then, and in broken English and what little Chinese Alice knew, he told Alice that her story reminded him of the ones he heard as a child. They spent the next voyage to China exchanging stories, and their friendship had been born.
"Are you alright?" Mao Chin asked in Chinese, his voice low so he wasn't overheard. His English was much improved in the last two years, as was Alice's Chinese, and the two often switched back and forth when appropriate, or not in this case.
"I'm afraid I've changed," Alice said, replying also in Chinese.
"I do not understand," Mao Chin said, this time in English. The two got a strange look - and why wouldn't they? A large Chinaman and an English girl in trousers standing so casually together? It was an odd sight indeed.
"I haven't seen my family in two years. I've changed," she said again.
"As have they," Mao Chin said simply. Alice felt the slightest push, urging her to move again, and she did, forcing herself to place once foot in front of the other.
Alice was still worried. Her mother and sister already disapproved of the way she dressed, but if they only knew HOW she'd change beyond her love for trousers. It had scared Alice so much that she wouldn't go home for two years. As if to sense her lingering fear, Mao Chin patted her shoulder and picked up her bag containing her belongings. Together, the two of them met up with Lord Ascott as he signed papers, and then the three of them went to the carriage. Since Mao Chin had nowhere to go in London, he rented one of the small cottages on Lord Ascott's land.
As the carriage moved, Alice felt herself feeling a little uneasy. She wasn't sick, but she was nowhere near comfortable. She never did like carriages, but after the rocky motions of the sea, she wondered if she could ever get used to it. She would much rather brave the roughest storms on the water, the salted air in her nostrels, than jolt over every hole in the man-made roads with the smell of horses filling the carriage the whole way. Alice knew that her favorite way to travel would always be on the back of the Bandersnatch. It had something to do with the trust between beast and woman, the unity as she held onto his thick fur as she rode, and the moment of having one goal in mind: to save their queen.
Alice kept her mind from the rickety carriage ride- as well as the one who had captured her heart and mind the most since leaving Underland - by engaging Lord Ascott in talk of buisness, and it worked. Even Mao Chin was able to contribute as the three of them spoke about often random ideas to improve trading in China. So caught up was she that Alice hadn't hadn't noticed that snow had fallen as they passed through parts of her hometown. The scenery outside of the carriage was becoming familiar, and she wasn't sure how she felt about that. She recognized the road to one of her mother's friends' home. She was certain that many of the social circle her family used to be apart of disowned her mother after Alice refused to marry Hamish, even if Lord Ascott forgave her and Hamish had married someone else.
"Are you certain you don't wish to stay with your family tonight?" came the male voice in front of her.
"You'll be speaking with Mr. Graystone tonight at the party. I wouldn't want to miss it. There's much I still need to learn," Alice replied almost simply.
"But you've been to so many parties like this before, Alice, with me as well as with your father when he was alive," Lord Ascott protested. "You've not been back in over two years. I know your sister and mother miss you."
"I'll only be a few minutes, then I can help you set up the party, attend, and go home with them." Alice's eyes flickered to Mao Chin, but she wasn't sure if she wanted his input or not. It'd been him who encouraged her to go home after receiving the letter, and he never understood why she was so reluctant.
"Well, I don't wish to face the wrath of your mother. She can have a wicked tongue even when she's not angry. Keeping her daughter for a holiday busness party after already being away far too long won't keep me on her good side, my dear."
"I'll deal with my mother, Lord Ascott, sir. I am almost certain she'll be too distracted by my clothes to blame you for my absence." The two shared a small smile, and the rest of the trip was spent in a comfortable silence.
As predicted, Alice got an earfull, first about her clothes (which were oriental in style on top of being masculine), and then about her being gone for two years. "For Heaven's sake! Is Margarent going to have to stay withchild just so we'll see you more often?" she asked in a huff, rushing the traders inside. She bustled about for tea, or at least to order someone to get the tea, but Aice stopped her with a calm but firm hand on the arm.
"Mum," she said almost softly. It took a couple of seconds before Alice's mother turned, flinging her arms around the young woman's abdomen in a crushing hug.
"Oh, how we've missed you, Alice," she said. Her voice was choked, and Alice recognized the sounds of oncoming tears. It made her feel like a beast for the words she was about to say next.
"Mum, I'm not staying long. I-"
"No," the older woman said sternly, "you just got here! Margaret's on her way with Henry. Don't you want to see your nephew?"
"I will see you tonight at Lord Ascott's holiday party, and I'll be leaving with you," Alice explained, just as she had for her employer moments ago.
Alice's mother considered her, then whispered in her ear, "Is that what you're wearing to Lord Ascott's party?" Alice shook her head. She didn't have the heart to tell her mother what she was really planning to wear that night. "I suppose a few more hours of your absense won't be too much to bear." Lord Ascott started when Alice's mother turned to him suddenly. "With the new baby, we'll not be long, I'm afraid, but we will be there."
"I'm honored that you could attend," Lord Ascott replied with the smallest tilt of his head.
"I love you, Mum," Alice said as she hugged the woman again.
*****
Alice didn't understand why she was nervous. As Lord Ascott had said a couple of hours prior, she had been to many parties in the past two years alone. Alice had attended each of those parties in the same outfit she usually wore, but decided on a more traditional jacket since her family would be there. As it was, she planned to wear a Chinese style tunic over her favorite pair of oriental trousers, but found that the jacket given to her by Lord Ascott over a year ago went perfectly and made an excellent sustitution for the party. She still showed her adapted style as well as stuck with what people were used to. She knew no matter what, this would get her a look or two, but she'd always found her voice long enough to charm those around her - those that mattered, anyway. Though many buisness partners and fellow traders of Lord Ascott were invited to the party, the sole purpose was to celebrate Christmas in a few days. Well, that was what her employer had said many times, though Alice often thought differently. It was a holiday party, something she hadn't attended since becoming an apprentice. She was sure a family or two from that old social circle would be there. They were people who knew her before Underland. Before her father passed, even.
Alice jutted her chin forward as she looked at herself in the mirror. She had faced much worse than the harsh words of people she thought she knew, and she had three white horizontal lines on her arm to prove it. Whatever they may say either to her face or behind her back (she didn't care which), it wouldn't change anything about where she'd been or where she was going. It had nothing to do with who she was. Alice pulled down her jacket a little more and fixed her hair before she left the guest room Lord Ascott had allowed her to change in.
"Ah! There you are, Alice. You look... dashing, I must say. Is that the coat I bought you in Shanghai last year?"
Alice smiled. "You remember."
"A jacket like that is hard to forget. I thought you'd never find an appropriate time to wear it."
"Neither did I," Alice admitted. "I'm glad I finally found one," the young woman said, and she meant it. She agreed with the man that the jacket was a nice one, but it had been a problem for Alice simply because it was too elegant for the type of functions she typically attended. Even for a holiday party it seemed slightly over the top, and if Alice had any alternative to either garments she owned, she would have gladly donned that. Alice could only hope that wearing it helped make a good impression to anyone new she were to surely meet that night at the party.
One of the women Alice had seen bustling around the busy sitting room on her way inside the large house appeared suddenly at the top of the stairs before them. She waited for Lord Ascott to say, "Yes? What is it, Miss Winters?" before she spoke.
"A carriage is coming up, sir," she said. Lord Ascott nodded, and the woman left as quickly as she had appeared.
"I guess you're right on time," the man said to Alice. The two of them walked companionably down the stairs, and Alice knew that Lord Ascott resisted his upbringing by not extending his elbow for her to take. As Alice decended the stairs, she resisted her own past urge to slide down the banister. She'd done this once before when she was quite young and had nearly broken her neck, but that hadn't stopped her desire to try again now that she was older and wiser.
As the two of them made it to the bottom of the stairs, they were joined by Hamish and his new wife. Together the four of them walked to the porch and watched as a carriage pulled up. Alice didn't recognize it, so she knew it wasn't her family. The horses came to a stop, and the footman opened the door, revealing a tall, thin man. He was completely bald, and though his stature seemed intimidating at first glance, he had a wide smile as he stretched is legs, pat the footman on the back, and turned to help the other passengers. Soon, three women joined the tall man on the gravel and waited. The tall man led the way towards the porch, while Lord Ascott took steps to meet him halfway. The man's smile grew when he saw this, and he opened his armed wide as if to present himself.
"How long has it been?!" the man asked in such a loud voice, Alice was sure he could have been heard from far down the gravel road leading out of the Ascott property.
"The last time I received more than a monthly letter from you, my friend, you still had hair!" Lord Ascott replied.
"Ah!" the man let out in a partial laugh, partial growl, as if to tell his friend that he'd been verbally nicked, but hadn't been offended by the barb. If anything, he looked ready to banter the night away. When the men were close enough, he wrapped his arms around Lord Ascott in a large hug, which surprised all but the oldest of the women who had arrived. All of the young people had similar looks of being taken aback on their faces.
When Lord Ascott saw this, he let out a large laugh. "This is my good friend William Benson. William, this is my son Hamish and his wife, the lovely Fiona, and this is Alice Kingsleigh, my new apprentice. I suppose she's become much my daughter as well over the years." Alice smiled as her face became a little bit pink.
"More like a son," came a mutter from behind her, followed by a twitter of laughter. Alice's jaw went tight, but she didn't bother replying to Hamish in any way.
"How do you do?" Alice said to William, extending her hand forward for him to shake, her overall stance very much matching Lord Ascott's. Though William seemed taken aback by this gesture coming from a woman, he took Alice's hand anyway, turned it slightly and placed a kiss on top of it. Lord Ascott had a smirk on his face as he watched this exchange. Over the last eighteen months or so, he'd watched the young woman greet many people in this manner, and though he hadn't approved of it, he found it often charmed many of the other tradesmen, many of whom didn't take her nearly as seriously as they took themselves. As he'd guessed, William would have reverted to his old-fashioned ways and leave Alice as startled as she'd left him. Alice took a step back after reclaiming her hand.
"As I've written to you over the years, this is my wife, Joyce and our daughters, Cara and Cordelia."
"It's so nice to finally meet the women I've read so much about," Lord Ascott said at the same time all three women said their 'How do you do's'. He then looked over the two young women, both about Alice's age. Alice did as well. The younger of the two, introduced as Cordelia, had dirty blonde hair - the same color as her mother and sister's -and brown eyes. Her hands were folded in front of her, but she otherwise looked as though she'd rather be elsewhere. Alice recognized this look, as she often felt the same way whenever she had to go to a party in order for their family to stay in the social loop after her father died. Cordelia met her eye and gave a polite, but halfhearted smile. Alice in turn nodded her head slightly.
Alice was taken aback by the sight she saw when she had allowed herself to look to the other Benson daughter, and saw the eyes that stared back at her. There was a resemblance that Alice wanted to deny, and a reaction to it that Alice couldn't cease. Cara Benson looked exactly like Mirana, her White Queen. Cara's eyes were lighter perhaps - as the White Queen's eyes were black - but they still stared at her much in the way Mirana had: often questioningly, but always warmly. The young woman before Alice had Cordelia and Joyce's dirty blonde hair, but she otherwise had the same smile, the same pale skin as her queen.
Alice closed her eyes, breaking the eye contact as she tilted her head downwards. Surely she was just imagining things. Surely she was missing Underland far too much now adays and she was seeing its people everywhere. She prayed to look into a stranger's eyes when next she gazed at Cara, but when she looked up again many seconds later, she glanced into the eyes of the White Queen. No- she reminded herself, not Mirana, Cara Benson. Alice let out a mumbled 'Hello' and felt herself go slightly weak when the older Benson daughter responded with her own 'How do you do?' Alice tried to ignore the quivers and ache of her insides as she turned slightly towards the men who spoke loudly and happily to eachother, exchanging barbs and inside jokes there on the Ascotts' front porch.
Lord Ascott looked past William suddenly and said, "Looks like someone else has arrived early."
Alice looked up and recognizing the carriage this time, said, "Excuse me." She then bound down the stairs as she thanked the sky for the reason to be out of her discomfort, out of the gaze of Cara Benson.
"Alice hasn't really seen much of her family the last two years," Ascott explained.
"Keeping her busy, have you? I know how much of a slave driver - "
"I'll have you know, CHAP, that it was her own decision to stay abroad in China-"
Alice tuned out the rest of the conversartion as William reminded Lord Ascott of a misadventure in Bejing many years ago, which caused the other man to snort outright. As her family's carriage came to a stop, Alice opened the door, reaching her hand inside without seeing who she was reaching for first. She found herself holding a baby in the next instant, which surprised the young woman. Alice had expected to see a baby, but she didn't think little Henry would be as big as he was. Had she really been gone that long? The boy in her arms didn't cry as she had expected. He looked at her with eyes like his fathers and after Alice smiled at him, he opened his mouth and grinned with the lips of his mother.
Margaret and her mother joined Alice on the gravel and they all walked towards the porch. After another round of introductions and 'nice to meet you', Lord Ascott said, "Let's take this inside, shall we?"
Alice winced as Henry grabbed at her hair and pulled, then she nodded. "Yeah." All of them went inside to the sitting room, where tea waited for them.
*****
Over two and a half hours later, (Alice looked at her pocket watch for the fourth time to make sure), the party was in full swing. The queen's champion looked around and watched as people danced. There was no way she'd join in, as much as she'd been asked. The only one she'd even consider dancing with was Cara Benson, but even if it was allowed, she couldn't find the courage to breathe let alone ask the other woman for a dance. The one or two times she'd caught the other woman's eye, Alice got the impression that Cara wanted to say something to her, but they never got close enough to eachother for them to speak. When a woman with a tray of wine glasses passed by her, Alice grabbed ahold of one and took steps closer to the wall, hoping to slowly but surely disappear from the crowd.
"The only time I'd ever seen a woman in trousers, they had been on stage," came a voice to Alice's right. The blonde tried not to choke on the wine she'd just swallowed. She stood up straighter as she forced herself to look at Cara Benson. Alice's heart thudded in her chest, and she swallowed while trying to get her words out.
"I- er... Do you see many trousered women on stage?" Alice finally asked.
"No, just the once when I saw Kitty Butler and Nan King perfom in London last year," Cara replied, shaking her head. "It was all very silly." She laughed. Alice didn't know what to say, so she said nothing at all. She brought her wine glass to her lips once more.
Suddenly, the two young women were joined by Cordelia, who took her sister's arm and said, "I need you."
"But-" Cara protested, but had been cut off.
"Please! Father's got it in his head that since he couldn't get you to marry Edmond, that I should! It has yet to occur to him that Edmund is but twice our age, and the the biggest bore of the century! Please help me. Please?" There was a look that passed between sisters, one that was full of familiarity and inside conversation.
"Alright." Cara glanced back at Alice as if to apologize, but Cordelia' insistant tugging on her arm prevented further dialogue.
Alice placed her wine glass down with a slight look of disgust, and after buttoning up her jacket a little further, she moved through the crowd of people. She managed to make it out to the balcony unnoticed. Alice ran her fingers over the snow covered rail, tracing the letter M as her mind conjured up images of her White Queen Mirana, and she wondered what she was doing at that moment. She knew that there was a lot of damage to try and undo in Underland. Surely Mirana would remain busy for quite some time. Alice used the back of her hand to swipe at the snow, watching as it fell many feet below her. She felt the snow lightly touch her neck and hair as she thought about the look that has passed between a queen and her champion right before going into battle, and the nod that seemed to say everything and nothing at all. Alice looked up at the greyish-purple of the night, and if she thought hard enough, she could feel the cold flakes turn instead to the warm touch upon her cheek after she'd slain the Jabbawokey. Her heart hammered just as it had in the moment it'd happened. Alice recognized these feelings for what they were after the fact, but she never dared say it out loud. Who would she say it to? Who would understand, or even believe her?
Alice allowed the memories of Underland to overcome her, and she sighed at the image of Mirana's arms held up as she moved about freely. She had to remind herself time and again that the young woman in the house was not the woman who made her chest ache so. Yet it didn't stop the image of Mirana from changing, her snow white hair darkening while her coal black lips lightened. It didn't stop this image from causing her heart to beat just as fast.
"I just miss you," Alice said out loud; either to convince herself or just needing for it to be said was uncertain. There was no reply, and even Alice wasn't mad enough to expect one. The night remained silent as the blonde's cheeks became wet with both tears and melted snow. Alice's eyes fluttered shut as her dear friend the Hatter danced happily. She knew she should have been happy, for there was a better Undland now, but all she could feel was how she'd changed and how lonely that made her. So sad was she that Alice even found herself missing the Red Queen. She had been kind to Alice in a strange sort of way, right before she'd figured out that Alice was destined to kill her beloved pet.
Alice's eyes snapped open with a gasp and she took a startled step backwards at the feel of fingers upon her cheek. It took an extra second or two before it'd registered in her mind who had touched her and why it felt too familiar. Cara Benson stood before her once again, her pale ungloved fingers glistening with Alice's tears. Slowly, that hand lowered to her side. "I'm sorry," Cara said softly, "I didnt mean to seem insulting with my words. That wasn't what I intended at all." The dirty blonde woman looked down as she spoke now. "It's just that... Kitty Butler and Nan King are performers. They wear trousers as costumes, where you wear them with a grace that I've never seen even in men. In those trousers... It's like you're a knight - or - or a queen's champion."
Alice looked away, wiping the remainder of tears from her face as she sniffled. "That isn't-" the younger woman began to say, "That's not why I cry," she got out.
"Are you alright?" Cara took a step forward as if to again offer comfort, but she stopped when she saw Alice tense up.
Alice didn't want to seem rude to this woman, who couldn't possibly know the reasons for her odd behavior, let alone be at fault for it. Still, she couldn't seem to be any sort of normal around her. Cara shivered slightly, and Alice said, "We should go inside-"
"No," the older woman said firmly, which took Alice aback.
"What? Why?"
"Its... a bit stuffy in there," Cara replied. "I'm better off getting some fresh air and staying out of sight for a while."
"But you've no gloves even, and its freezing out here," Alice protested. Cara shrugged. "Here," Alice said, "at least stay warm with this." Alice had unbottoned and taken off her jacket as she spoke.
"No, its alright-" the older woman protested, but it had gone ignored as Alice took the steps neccisary and held the jacket open, waiting for the woman to turn around, which she did reluctantly with a sigh. Cara then closed the jacket in front of her. If Alice felt the cold of the snow, she didn't show it, but even so, Cara felt the small guilt of being warmer when the other girl was not. "Thank you," Cara said. Her cheeks colored slightly, something Alice tried her best to ignore. The older woman watched Alice's face for a moment before she spoke again. "You miss someone."
"Not just someone," Alice found herself admitting, "a few someone's. A somewhere," she said softly, mostly to herself now, even though Cara could still hear her.
"China?" Cara guessed. "Lord Ascott mentioned that you'd been there for two years. Was it because you liked it so much that you stayed for so long?"
"No, this place is before China, though I did like it there. That is where I met my best friend, Mao Chin..." Alice forced away the desire to tell Cara all about Underland - about Mirana - just as she had told those children a couple of years ago. She was afraid of being seen as crazy, and though her father always said that the best people are mad, many other people didn't think that way. She suddenly didn't know what she would do if she saw an odd look from this woman, one of slight fear as she looked at Alice.
There was another small silence between them. Inside, the dancing paused as a Christmas carol played by the hired orchestra. At one point during the party, William had tried to persuade Lord Ascott to read out A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens. Though Alice hadn't found the Christmas spirit since her father died, she hoped William had succeeded. She could only imagine what her employer must sound like when reading of ghosts and a cruel man such as Ebenezer Scrooge. When another song played, Cara's feet moved, shifting from one to the other. When the older woman saw Alice watching her, she said, "I do like this song."
"You can dance," Alice said in return, her shoulders lifting. She couldn't help but to think Cara as a little strange - she'd have to be, talking to Alice as if she was normal - but like Mirana, it was an endearing kind of strange.
"Oh, I couldn't," Cara said, "not by myself." The older girl seemed embaressed by even the thought of it.
"Why not? There's only the two of us here. No one's going to say anything if you do."
"Then dance with me," Cara suggested. Even as she spoke, she'd taken Alice's hand while placing her own on the younger woman's shoulder. When Alice didn't move, Cara removed the hand from the shoulder long enough to guide the younger woman's hand to her hip before resuming her earlier position.
"But I've never danced this way before," Alice protested, "and not with - "
"Just follow my lead," Cara said.
"In this position, isn't that what I'm to say to you?" Alice asked with slightly wide eyes, but Cara only tilted her head in a slight shrug. "What if someone sees?"
"You just said that its only us here. No one will say anything."
"I meant if you danced alone!" Alice said somewhat loudly.
"It'll be alright," Cara said with a laugh at the look on Alice's face, "fun, even." Cara counted down, and the two of them began to move. It didn't take long for Alice to get used to leading them around the balcony, their feet kicking up snow as they did the steps together. After a time or two of either bumping into the railing or into the door leading inside, Alice and Cara were able to find a rhythem, their laughter ringing in the otherwise silence of the snowy night. Alice at first concentrated on the way her feet moved, not the way Cara's hand burned the spot where it rested now over the white lines of the Bandersnatch scar, or the way her heart still seemed eager to leap from her chest. Alice then focused more on Cara's smiling face and less on her feet, which made the dancing a lot better. The song ended, and Cara let out a sigh of both relief and contentment. She leaned against the railing as the two women caught their breath after laughing so hard.
"Admit it," Cara finally said, catching Alice's eye, "that was fun."
Alice grinned, her eyes flickering away briefly before looking back again at the older woman. "Yeah," she finally said, "that was fun." She too walked to the railing and leaned against it after swiping away more of the snow, her elbows rested behind her.
After that, it had become a lot easier to speak to Cara as they told eachother about their lives growing up. Alice heard about Cara's own failed engagement, and about her childhood. The younger woman suspected she would've been fast friends with Cara as a child. They spoke for many minutes until the balcony door opened, revealing William Benson. It was apperant that he'd been drinking, as his skin was flushed all the way to his bald scalp, and his grin was even wider, if at all possible. Alice felt that he could give the Cheshire Cat a run for his money.
"Have you ladies been out'inna cold this whole time?" he asked, looking from his daughter to Alice. Alice took out her pocket watch and realized just how much time had passed since the last time, when she had checked it inside. When she looked back up at the man guiltily, she saw that William didn't seem angry. "Come on inside or you'll catch your death of cold!" he said with a grand gesture. "I hear Lord Ascott's gonna read A Christmas Carol. After we sing some carols of our own, of course."
Margaret, who had been walking by at that moment and had then joined William in the doorway, said, "I'm sorry, but we'll have to bow out of the rest of the festivities. Our mother has... exhausted herself. I've also got to get Henry to bed." Margaret smiled at William Benson, though apologetically.
"That's too bad," the man said, and he really seemed to mean it. He nodded to Margaret. "Come now, Cara," William said warmly to his daughter.
Cara took Alice's jacket off and returned it to the blonde. "Thank you for the dance," she said. She placed a hand on Alice's shoulder and a kiss on her cheek before she joined her father inside. Alice was about to walk inside herself when the balcony door was suddenly blocked.
"What was that?" Margaret hissed, grabbing a hold of Alice's arm. It didn't feel nearly as pleasent as when Cara had her hand there earlier. "A dance, a kiss on the cheek? You fancy yourself quite the gentleman, don't you?"
"Let go," Alice said in a low voice.
"You can't be doing this," Margaret continued as if Alice hadn't spoken. "First your refusal to marry Hamish, then the trousers, and now this? You can't go running around like a- like a-"
"You don't know what I am. I don't even know," Alice said, wretching her arm free of Margaret's grip.
"Well, you can't be a tom. It'll break Mum's heart." With that, Margaret went back inside.
Alice followed her sister, the words ringing in her head as she accepted her mother's hug. Alice then went to say a proper goodbye to Lord Ascott before helping her mother as she shuffled to the carriage. As she held her sleeping nephew in her arms on the way home, her mind wandered, not to the woman with white hair and coal-like eyes, but to Cara and the dance they'd had in the snow. She hoped that though she was no longer a queen's champion, she could possibly be... She dared not think further. As if to know her thoughts, Margaret glared at Alice in attept to rid her sister of them. Alice stared Margaret down before finally both sisters looked away at the same time. Alice watched the rise and fall of Henry's chest, and didn't stop the small smile that appeared upon her face.
"Curiouser and curiouser..." she whispered to herself.
Perhaps she could stand to stay in London a little longer...