FIC: The Bold and the Brave (Not to Mention the Beautiful) 1/1; Otalia
TITLE: The Bold and the Brave (Not to Mention the Beautiful)
AUTHOR: Wonko
FANDOM: Guiding Light
PAIRING: Olivia/Natalia
RATING: PG
SUMMARY: A rewrite of the scene from May 19th '09 when Olivia comes back from San Francisco. Otherwise known as the headlock scene (see icon.)
The sofa again. Setting for movie nights and laundry folding and late evening glasses of wine and talks and tears and arguments. The happy glow from only minutes before, when she'd held Olivia tight against her and felt the thump of the other woman's heart against her own chest, was all but gone. And why? Because of something that should have been joyful. Something that she wanted, in fact. Olivia wanted to move back in. To come home.
So why was she so scared?
"Moving in now means...moving in," she tried to explain, hoping Olivia wouldn't make her elaborate on that. She paused for the briefest of seconds while her mind wandered against her will. Moving in now means moving in all right: it means sharing a room, and keeping our toothbrushes in the same glass, and...and...everything else that people in love share...
"It means telling Emma," she continued, grasping onto the first safe idea that would push the natural conclusion of that train of thought out of her head, and ignoring Olivia who had drawn breath to speak, "and it means telling Rafe, it means...a million different things."
She stopped, pinning Olivia in place with her eyes. "What if we don't...work?"
The panic on Olivia's face was quickly quashed by a layer of confidence, but Natalia saw it and inwardly cringed. She didn't mean to be giving out these mixed signals, sending Olivia veering wildly from happy to terrified in the space of minutes. It seemed like whenever she opened her mouth recently she let all her fears leak out unfiltered.
"We do work," Olivia said, in a tone that brooked no contradiction.
"Okay," Natalia replied, conceding that point instantly, "but something could go wrong and then...and then..." She couldn't finish the thought.
"And then, and then what? We'll have to move out? 'Cause you know that's a possibility whenever any two people decide they want to be together, you just have to take that risk."
That was the crux of the matter, of course. Olivia was a risk-taker. That was why she'd been married five times, that was how she'd been able to build up a business and a fortune from humble beginnings. That was why it had been her tearful declaration of love in a frigid graveyard that had shattered the glass bubble of platonic friendship they'd both been desperately trying to preserve. But Natalia? Natalia wasn't like that. Natalia was a worker, methodical and systematic, and not someone to take chances. She needed a safety-net - always had, because all her adult life she'd had a child to think of who would pay the price for her mistakes.
They had a child to think of now, and Olivia was the first to give voice to the nagging fear.
"I don't really want to do that to Emma, but-"
"Exactly!" Natalia interrupted, glad that it had occurred to Olivia too. "That's what...that's what I mean, I just don't think we should jump into anything too soon, or take really big chances..."
They both sighed. Olivia ran her hand across her forehead, trying to smooth away the lines of frustration she could feel building up.
"You take chances," she said, stopping Natalia from verbalising yet another worry or fear. "You took a chance when you quit your waitressing job and came to work for me, you took a chance when you walked away from Frank. You took a chance when you opened the door...when I knocked." She smiled a little, looking at Natalia with an expression of mingled love and pride. "You take chances. You're a lot bolder and braver than you give yourself credit for."
Natalia sneaked a look at Olivia and felt a corner of her mouth turn up in a half smile.
"You know, like a couple of months ago I would have really argued with you that all my choices are very safe." She laughed a little. "But...you're right. I took the biggest chance of my life when I told you..."
Olivia moved forward and smiled. "When you told me what?" she asked, in a low, slightly husky voice that made Natalia's spine tingle as she slid forward herself.
"I love you."
For a moment the thought of kissing Olivia now flashed through Natalia's mind. What could be more perfect? A profession of love followed by a first kiss - first real kiss anyway - that would be soft and gentle and slow, and full of feeling. Olivia too seemed to be waiting for it, waiting for something anyway, something more from Natalia that she wasn't getting.
"And?" she said, like a teacher prodding a student for a correct answer.
Natalia grinned. "And I haven't regretted it since," she said, delighting in the smile that spread across Olivia's face. They gazed at each for an endless moment before Olivia leaned forward, her hand reaching out to stroke Natalia's hair, her eyes focused on the other woman's lips. Natalia's breath caught almost imperceptibly.
She's going to kiss me. The breathless thought danced through her consciousness. Oh my God, she's going to kiss me.
Olivia came closer and closer, and the inevitable moment stretched out until Natalia thought she would go mad from the anticipation and then...
...Olivia turned her head to the side and nestled down on Natalia's shoulder.
The deflation was immediate. Oh, Natalia thought as she brought her arms up to wrap around Olivia and hold her in place. I guess not.
She tried not to feel disappointed. After all, she was the one who'd just been talking about going slow and not jumping into things. But still, there was a yearning inside her that was crying out, even now, for...something... Well, she wasn't completely sure what that something was but she knew it started with a kiss.
"Olivia?' she murmured, squeezing her eyes closed as if that would somehow make the question she was about to ask a little less mortifying.
"Hmm?" Olivia made to sit up, but Natalia stopped her with a hand on the back of her head. There was a long pause.
"Don't...don't you want to kiss me?" she said at last.
Olivia's breath came out in a rush.
"Of course I do," she whispered.
"But?"
Olivia tried to sit up again, but once more Natalia stopped her. "But?' she said again.
Olivia sighed. "The last time I kissed someone...she didn't react so well."
Natalia blinked. "Oh."
They lapsed into silence. Natalia absently ran her fingers through Olivia's hair while her mind raced. She thought back to that cold night in January, the feel of Olivia' soft, warm lips against hers. She shivered, then winced as she remembered how she'd pushed Olivia away.
"I'm sorry," she murmured, and this time when Olivia tried to sit up Natalia let her.
"Don't be sorry," Olivia said, pushing Natalia's hair behind her ear. "It's not every day your best friend tries to jump you."
"Mmm," Natalia agreed softly. Her eyes strayed over the planes of Olivia's face, as if trying to memorise every line, every pore. "Olivia..."
"Yes?"
Natalia brought her eyes up to meet Olivia's and then, before she quite knew what she was doing, she leaned forward and pressed their lips together.
It was hesitant at first, and even a little awkward, until they both figured out that this really wasn't so different from kissing a man...just softer, and somehow more intense. But then, maybe that was because this kiss was the culmination of months of longing and desire, a mighty dam finally breached.
"I love you," Natalia whispered before parting her lips and deepening the kiss, sliding her hands up and around Olivia's shoulders and pulling her close. Olivia didn't respond in words - she didn't have to. Natalia could feel the rising tide of emotion in the shudder that ran down Olivia's spine, in the thunder of the pulse beating in her throat, in the breath that ghosted against her lips as they kissed again and again.
Natalia reveled in the sensation, lost in the warmth and softness and indescribable joy of kissing the woman she loved, until she felt her back touch the arm of the couch and realised that they had fallen back. "Mmm," she moaned as Olivia tore her lips away. "Olivia..."
"Mmm hmm?" Olivia replied, burying her face in the crook of Natalia's neck and transferring her attention to the soft skin she found there. Natalia leaned back reflexively, stretching out on the couch and allowing Olivia to mould herself against her body. She slid her arms up Olivia's back before resting them with her fingers loosely tangled in Olivia's hair.
After a few moments of delicious exploration, Olivia raised herself up and looked down into Natalia's flushed face. "That was nice," she said.
"More than nice," Natalia replied. Her eyes gleamed.
Olivia's lips curled into a soft, shy smile. "I uhm...didn't expect you to be so..."
"Forward?" Natalia suggested. Olivia nodded slightly. "Well, honestly I was waiting for you to make the first move but..." She shrugged. "I guess I was done with waiting."
Olivia laughed, and then leaned down to kiss Natalia again. "I told you you're braver than you give yourself credit for," she whispered against her lips. Natalia smiled.
"Yeah, maybe you're right," she agreed, then paused. "I still want to take things slow though."
Olivia shrugged one shoulder. "I know," she said. "But...that doesn't mean we have to stop kissing, does it?"
Natalia pretended to think about it. "Hmm. I think we can incorporate kissing into going slow."
"Well, hallelujah," Olivia replied, before leaning down again to do just that.
The End
AUTHOR: Wonko
FANDOM: Guiding Light
PAIRING: Olivia/Natalia
RATING: PG
SUMMARY: A rewrite of the scene from May 19th '09 when Olivia comes back from San Francisco. Otherwise known as the headlock scene (see icon.)
The sofa again. Setting for movie nights and laundry folding and late evening glasses of wine and talks and tears and arguments. The happy glow from only minutes before, when she'd held Olivia tight against her and felt the thump of the other woman's heart against her own chest, was all but gone. And why? Because of something that should have been joyful. Something that she wanted, in fact. Olivia wanted to move back in. To come home.
So why was she so scared?
"Moving in now means...moving in," she tried to explain, hoping Olivia wouldn't make her elaborate on that. She paused for the briefest of seconds while her mind wandered against her will. Moving in now means moving in all right: it means sharing a room, and keeping our toothbrushes in the same glass, and...and...everything else that people in love share...
"It means telling Emma," she continued, grasping onto the first safe idea that would push the natural conclusion of that train of thought out of her head, and ignoring Olivia who had drawn breath to speak, "and it means telling Rafe, it means...a million different things."
She stopped, pinning Olivia in place with her eyes. "What if we don't...work?"
The panic on Olivia's face was quickly quashed by a layer of confidence, but Natalia saw it and inwardly cringed. She didn't mean to be giving out these mixed signals, sending Olivia veering wildly from happy to terrified in the space of minutes. It seemed like whenever she opened her mouth recently she let all her fears leak out unfiltered.
"We do work," Olivia said, in a tone that brooked no contradiction.
"Okay," Natalia replied, conceding that point instantly, "but something could go wrong and then...and then..." She couldn't finish the thought.
"And then, and then what? We'll have to move out? 'Cause you know that's a possibility whenever any two people decide they want to be together, you just have to take that risk."
That was the crux of the matter, of course. Olivia was a risk-taker. That was why she'd been married five times, that was how she'd been able to build up a business and a fortune from humble beginnings. That was why it had been her tearful declaration of love in a frigid graveyard that had shattered the glass bubble of platonic friendship they'd both been desperately trying to preserve. But Natalia? Natalia wasn't like that. Natalia was a worker, methodical and systematic, and not someone to take chances. She needed a safety-net - always had, because all her adult life she'd had a child to think of who would pay the price for her mistakes.
They had a child to think of now, and Olivia was the first to give voice to the nagging fear.
"I don't really want to do that to Emma, but-"
"Exactly!" Natalia interrupted, glad that it had occurred to Olivia too. "That's what...that's what I mean, I just don't think we should jump into anything too soon, or take really big chances..."
They both sighed. Olivia ran her hand across her forehead, trying to smooth away the lines of frustration she could feel building up.
"You take chances," she said, stopping Natalia from verbalising yet another worry or fear. "You took a chance when you quit your waitressing job and came to work for me, you took a chance when you walked away from Frank. You took a chance when you opened the door...when I knocked." She smiled a little, looking at Natalia with an expression of mingled love and pride. "You take chances. You're a lot bolder and braver than you give yourself credit for."
Natalia sneaked a look at Olivia and felt a corner of her mouth turn up in a half smile.
"You know, like a couple of months ago I would have really argued with you that all my choices are very safe." She laughed a little. "But...you're right. I took the biggest chance of my life when I told you..."
Olivia moved forward and smiled. "When you told me what?" she asked, in a low, slightly husky voice that made Natalia's spine tingle as she slid forward herself.
"I love you."
For a moment the thought of kissing Olivia now flashed through Natalia's mind. What could be more perfect? A profession of love followed by a first kiss - first real kiss anyway - that would be soft and gentle and slow, and full of feeling. Olivia too seemed to be waiting for it, waiting for something anyway, something more from Natalia that she wasn't getting.
"And?" she said, like a teacher prodding a student for a correct answer.
Natalia grinned. "And I haven't regretted it since," she said, delighting in the smile that spread across Olivia's face. They gazed at each for an endless moment before Olivia leaned forward, her hand reaching out to stroke Natalia's hair, her eyes focused on the other woman's lips. Natalia's breath caught almost imperceptibly.
She's going to kiss me. The breathless thought danced through her consciousness. Oh my God, she's going to kiss me.
Olivia came closer and closer, and the inevitable moment stretched out until Natalia thought she would go mad from the anticipation and then...
...Olivia turned her head to the side and nestled down on Natalia's shoulder.
The deflation was immediate. Oh, Natalia thought as she brought her arms up to wrap around Olivia and hold her in place. I guess not.
She tried not to feel disappointed. After all, she was the one who'd just been talking about going slow and not jumping into things. But still, there was a yearning inside her that was crying out, even now, for...something... Well, she wasn't completely sure what that something was but she knew it started with a kiss.
"Olivia?' she murmured, squeezing her eyes closed as if that would somehow make the question she was about to ask a little less mortifying.
"Hmm?" Olivia made to sit up, but Natalia stopped her with a hand on the back of her head. There was a long pause.
"Don't...don't you want to kiss me?" she said at last.
Olivia's breath came out in a rush.
"Of course I do," she whispered.
"But?"
Olivia tried to sit up again, but once more Natalia stopped her. "But?' she said again.
Olivia sighed. "The last time I kissed someone...she didn't react so well."
Natalia blinked. "Oh."
They lapsed into silence. Natalia absently ran her fingers through Olivia's hair while her mind raced. She thought back to that cold night in January, the feel of Olivia' soft, warm lips against hers. She shivered, then winced as she remembered how she'd pushed Olivia away.
"I'm sorry," she murmured, and this time when Olivia tried to sit up Natalia let her.
"Don't be sorry," Olivia said, pushing Natalia's hair behind her ear. "It's not every day your best friend tries to jump you."
"Mmm," Natalia agreed softly. Her eyes strayed over the planes of Olivia's face, as if trying to memorise every line, every pore. "Olivia..."
"Yes?"
Natalia brought her eyes up to meet Olivia's and then, before she quite knew what she was doing, she leaned forward and pressed their lips together.
It was hesitant at first, and even a little awkward, until they both figured out that this really wasn't so different from kissing a man...just softer, and somehow more intense. But then, maybe that was because this kiss was the culmination of months of longing and desire, a mighty dam finally breached.
"I love you," Natalia whispered before parting her lips and deepening the kiss, sliding her hands up and around Olivia's shoulders and pulling her close. Olivia didn't respond in words - she didn't have to. Natalia could feel the rising tide of emotion in the shudder that ran down Olivia's spine, in the thunder of the pulse beating in her throat, in the breath that ghosted against her lips as they kissed again and again.
Natalia reveled in the sensation, lost in the warmth and softness and indescribable joy of kissing the woman she loved, until she felt her back touch the arm of the couch and realised that they had fallen back. "Mmm," she moaned as Olivia tore her lips away. "Olivia..."
"Mmm hmm?" Olivia replied, burying her face in the crook of Natalia's neck and transferring her attention to the soft skin she found there. Natalia leaned back reflexively, stretching out on the couch and allowing Olivia to mould herself against her body. She slid her arms up Olivia's back before resting them with her fingers loosely tangled in Olivia's hair.
After a few moments of delicious exploration, Olivia raised herself up and looked down into Natalia's flushed face. "That was nice," she said.
"More than nice," Natalia replied. Her eyes gleamed.
Olivia's lips curled into a soft, shy smile. "I uhm...didn't expect you to be so..."
"Forward?" Natalia suggested. Olivia nodded slightly. "Well, honestly I was waiting for you to make the first move but..." She shrugged. "I guess I was done with waiting."
Olivia laughed, and then leaned down to kiss Natalia again. "I told you you're braver than you give yourself credit for," she whispered against her lips. Natalia smiled.
"Yeah, maybe you're right," she agreed, then paused. "I still want to take things slow though."
Olivia shrugged one shoulder. "I know," she said. "But...that doesn't mean we have to stop kissing, does it?"
Natalia pretended to think about it. "Hmm. I think we can incorporate kissing into going slow."
"Well, hallelujah," Olivia replied, before leaning down again to do just that.
The End