Once Upon a Dream 14b/?
Title: Once Upon a Dream 14b/?
Author: Kelinswriter
Fandom: Guiding Light
Pairing: Olivia/Natalia
Rating: NC-17 (for lots of things)
Summary: Starts with the infamous scene with the OPT Pregnancy Test. Spins off from there into its own little universe.
Disclaimer: CBS, P&G, Telenext et. al. owns these characters; I'm just taking them off the shelf and playing with them for a while.
Note: Don't get too excited about this arriving on a Friday. It's just now that football season is essentially over, I'm shuffling the order of my weekend tasks list. ;-)
1-11
12
13
14a
Their return to the surgical waiting room was spent in silence. Olivia threaded her arm through Buzz's, tilting her head to the side to rest on his shoulder while the elevator carried them back up to the surgical floor. She closed her eyes, feeling his calm strength flow into her. If not for Natalia, she thought, walking away from you would be the great regret of my life.
She let him take the lead as they stepped off the elevator, guiding her down the hallway until they reached the waiting area. The others were as she had left them: Doris, Blake, and Ashlee talking softly in one corner, Josh on his phone, Father Ray looking out the window, his hands clasped in front of him as if in prayer.
"Hey," Josh said as he noticed Olivia. "I was just calling you."
"What's going on?" Olivia asked, straightening her shoulders. Buzz's fingers squeezed her arm as she slid from his grasp. "Is there news?"
"Olivia." She turned, seeing Rick emerge from the room behind the nurses' station. He had a white doctor's coat on over his surgical scrubs. He looks exhausted, she thought as he drew closer. But then by now we all do.
"How is she?" she asked, feeling someone - Josh, Buzz, Doris - step into place behind her, as if ready to support her if bad news took her legs out from under her. Such a fucking damsel in distress, she thought, annoyed. But when Rick looked down at her, his face grave, she felt her knees twinge and suddenly, it didn't seem like a bad idea that there was a safety net in place. Not that it would matter. If it's not good news, there's not going to be enough pieces left for anyone to pick up.
Rick glanced over the group, then shifted his attention back to her. "Natalia's out of surgery."
"And?" Olivia could hear the sharp edge on the word, the one that everyone heard as demanding and imperious. To her, it wreaked of fear. She swallowed, trying to bring her voice under control. "Rick?"
"Dr. Loren was able to remove the bullet and repair the internal bleeding. Now it's a matter of waiting to see how Natalia responds." Rick scrubbed at the five o'clock shadow on his chin. "We're taking her straight up to ICU and will be monitoring her recovery closely. For now, we're keeping her on the ventilator so that her damaged lung has time to heal."
Olivia closed her eyes, memories of her own surgery coming back to her - the helpless, almost panicked feeling that came from the realization that her survival was being controlled by machines. She reached out blindly, finding a hand - Buzz's - and clasping it tight. She forced her gaze back on Rick, locking her knees to keep herself upright. "When can I see her?"
"It's going to be a while," Rick said. "She's still coming out of the anesthetic, and we want to make sure she's stable before we have much activity around her. The next few hours are critical."
Olivia shook her head, her stomach knotting at the thought of what it would do to Natalia to wake up by herself. "No, Rick. No. She needs someone with her."
"We'll make sure she's okay," Rick reassured her. "You know what it's like. She'll be too out of it to really know what's going on."
"Rick, think about what Natalia's been through," Olivia said, hearing desperation swirling in the undercurrent of her own voice. "Gus died on a ventilator. If she wakes up and she's on one, with nobody there to -" She heard her voice pitching up, and stopped abruptly, trying to will herself into something approaching calm. Speaking barely above a whisper, she continued, "She's going to be terrified. After everything that's happened, couldn't we at least spare her that?"
Olivia saw Rick glance around, canvassing the rest of the waiting room for opinions. It was Blake's that turned the tide. Stepping over to stand beside Doris, she said, "C'mon Rick. She'll behave."
"What am I, a trained monkey?" Olivia turned and arched an eyebrow at Blake, who gave her a shrug in return.
"Just let her in, Rick," Blake said, that no nonsense, sisterly tone she took with Rick brooking no argument. "You know you're going to eventually, so why waste time arguing?"
Rick scowled at her before turning his attention to Olivia. "You do exactly what you're told. One word of disagreement with the nurses, and you're back in the waiting room."
"I will be -" Olivia raised her hand as if making a pledge. "A model visitor, Rick. The very definition of cooperative. Just let me be there for her."
Rick nodded. "Give us about fifteen minutes to get her settled, and then I'll take you up."
Father Ray stepped away from the window, clearing his throat. "Doctor Bauer, with your permission, I would like to go up as well to perform the Anointing of the Sick for Natalia."
Rick nodded at Father Ray, then looked back at Olivia. "I can take you both up, but only one at a time in the room."
"That's fine," Olivia said. "Father Ray can go in first so that Natalia can have her blessing. I'll wait outside until he's finished."
Rick reached forward, clasping Olivia's hand. "Things are looking positive. I can't make any promises, but she came through the surgery much better than anticipated. Now it's a matter of seeing how she responds."
"Thank you, Rick." Olivia held his gaze for a moment, and Rick nodded at her before returning to the nurses' station.
Olivia managed to keep her back straight for a few seconds more, but then her shoulders sagged as a weight made up of equal parts tension and relief slammed into her with avalanche force. Josh wrapped an arm around her waist and guiding her to a chair, and she slumped into it, her head in her hands while the others hovered around her.
"I'm just tired," she growled. "Everybody quit fussing at me."
"How about that lousy coffee?" Buzz asked.
She tipped her head to the side to glance up at him. "That works. Thank you."
"You're welcome." He gave her a cockeyed grin, then walked over to the bank of coffee pots in the corner of the room and set about making a cup.
"We'll stay," Doris said. "In case you need anything."
"No, Doris, that's silly." Olivia turned her glance on each of them - Doris, Blake, Josh, Ashlee. "Thank you all for your time. I'm grateful, and I know Natalia would be as well, that we have such good friends to support us through this. But there's no reason that any of you shouldn't go home and get some sleep. If someone wants to bring me breakfast and some proper coffee in the morning, I wouldn't complain, but other than that, I don't see any point in any of you hanging around. I will call if anything changes."
"You promise?" Ashlee asked.
"Yes, I promise." Olivia waved a hand at them. "Now get lost, all of you."
"I can stay until Rick comes back," Josh said.
"I'll do that," Buzz said, returning with a cup of coffee in his hand. "Light cream, two sugars."
"Stalker." Olivia shot him a grateful look and accepted the white styrofoam cup, the heat soothing against the palm of her hand. She took a sip, wincing at the still bitter taste of the cheap blend, then set the coffee aside and rose to her feet. "Thank you, each of you, for being here today. We're incredibly lucky to have you all."
Doris clasped her hands and said, "You call if you need us." She leaned forward, whispering, "Though if we could avoid anything else that involves judges, I'd appreciate it."
"You got it," Olivia said with a soft laugh.
She accepted an embrace from Blake, then was immediately swallowed up in an Ashlee-sized bear hug. Olivia struggled to keep her balance before finally surrendering to it. "Natalia will want to see Rafe," Olivia murmured in her ear. "If you can think of a way to find him..."
"I'll talk to Daisy in the morning," Ashlee said. "Maybe we can figure something out."
"Thanks Ashlee." Olivia pulled back, touching the young woman's cheek, and then turned to Josh. "Lewis, get the hell out of here."
"You call me if you need anything," he said, holding her close. "Food, coffee, Miss Martha's Bible."
"Hey, there's a thought." Olivia put her mouth to his ear and murmured, "Maybe we could make Ray read it."
Josh chuckled. "I think understanding it is what he has a problem with." He straightened, cupping her cheek. "You take care of yourself, please?"
Olivia shrugged. "You know I'm good at that."
Josh gave an ironic laugh, his blue eyes conveying the worry he wouldn't articulate. Then he nodded at her and turned toward the others. "Come on, ladies. I'll walk you downstairs."
Olivia waited for them to depart, then sat back down, groping for her coffee. She took another sip, wrinkling her nose at the taste while Buzz sat down next to her.
"So," Buzz said.
"So." Olivia stared down at the cheap carpeting, her head spinning at the cocktail of exhaustion, hope, and need thrumming through her veins. It feels like the first time I walked into a Beacon board meeting, she thought, a wistful smile tugging the corners of her mouth as she added, or the first time I had to face Natalia after I finally knew. Softly, she asked, "Buzz, what do I tell her?"
"That you love her," Buzz replied. "That you're not going anywhere."
"And if she's afraid?"
"You tell her that you love her again," Buzz said, and Olivia could see an old, deep pain in his eyes.
"That's enough?" she asked, wanting his reassurance.
His smile was melancholy, his eyes weary. "It's all you've got."
Author: Kelinswriter
Fandom: Guiding Light
Pairing: Olivia/Natalia
Rating: NC-17 (for lots of things)
Summary: Starts with the infamous scene with the OPT Pregnancy Test. Spins off from there into its own little universe.
Disclaimer: CBS, P&G, Telenext et. al. owns these characters; I'm just taking them off the shelf and playing with them for a while.
Note: Don't get too excited about this arriving on a Friday. It's just now that football season is essentially over, I'm shuffling the order of my weekend tasks list. ;-)
1-11
12
13
14a
Their return to the surgical waiting room was spent in silence. Olivia threaded her arm through Buzz's, tilting her head to the side to rest on his shoulder while the elevator carried them back up to the surgical floor. She closed her eyes, feeling his calm strength flow into her. If not for Natalia, she thought, walking away from you would be the great regret of my life.
She let him take the lead as they stepped off the elevator, guiding her down the hallway until they reached the waiting area. The others were as she had left them: Doris, Blake, and Ashlee talking softly in one corner, Josh on his phone, Father Ray looking out the window, his hands clasped in front of him as if in prayer.
"Hey," Josh said as he noticed Olivia. "I was just calling you."
"What's going on?" Olivia asked, straightening her shoulders. Buzz's fingers squeezed her arm as she slid from his grasp. "Is there news?"
"Olivia." She turned, seeing Rick emerge from the room behind the nurses' station. He had a white doctor's coat on over his surgical scrubs. He looks exhausted, she thought as he drew closer. But then by now we all do.
"How is she?" she asked, feeling someone - Josh, Buzz, Doris - step into place behind her, as if ready to support her if bad news took her legs out from under her. Such a fucking damsel in distress, she thought, annoyed. But when Rick looked down at her, his face grave, she felt her knees twinge and suddenly, it didn't seem like a bad idea that there was a safety net in place. Not that it would matter. If it's not good news, there's not going to be enough pieces left for anyone to pick up.
Rick glanced over the group, then shifted his attention back to her. "Natalia's out of surgery."
"And?" Olivia could hear the sharp edge on the word, the one that everyone heard as demanding and imperious. To her, it wreaked of fear. She swallowed, trying to bring her voice under control. "Rick?"
"Dr. Loren was able to remove the bullet and repair the internal bleeding. Now it's a matter of waiting to see how Natalia responds." Rick scrubbed at the five o'clock shadow on his chin. "We're taking her straight up to ICU and will be monitoring her recovery closely. For now, we're keeping her on the ventilator so that her damaged lung has time to heal."
Olivia closed her eyes, memories of her own surgery coming back to her - the helpless, almost panicked feeling that came from the realization that her survival was being controlled by machines. She reached out blindly, finding a hand - Buzz's - and clasping it tight. She forced her gaze back on Rick, locking her knees to keep herself upright. "When can I see her?"
"It's going to be a while," Rick said. "She's still coming out of the anesthetic, and we want to make sure she's stable before we have much activity around her. The next few hours are critical."
Olivia shook her head, her stomach knotting at the thought of what it would do to Natalia to wake up by herself. "No, Rick. No. She needs someone with her."
"We'll make sure she's okay," Rick reassured her. "You know what it's like. She'll be too out of it to really know what's going on."
"Rick, think about what Natalia's been through," Olivia said, hearing desperation swirling in the undercurrent of her own voice. "Gus died on a ventilator. If she wakes up and she's on one, with nobody there to -" She heard her voice pitching up, and stopped abruptly, trying to will herself into something approaching calm. Speaking barely above a whisper, she continued, "She's going to be terrified. After everything that's happened, couldn't we at least spare her that?"
Olivia saw Rick glance around, canvassing the rest of the waiting room for opinions. It was Blake's that turned the tide. Stepping over to stand beside Doris, she said, "C'mon Rick. She'll behave."
"What am I, a trained monkey?" Olivia turned and arched an eyebrow at Blake, who gave her a shrug in return.
"Just let her in, Rick," Blake said, that no nonsense, sisterly tone she took with Rick brooking no argument. "You know you're going to eventually, so why waste time arguing?"
Rick scowled at her before turning his attention to Olivia. "You do exactly what you're told. One word of disagreement with the nurses, and you're back in the waiting room."
"I will be -" Olivia raised her hand as if making a pledge. "A model visitor, Rick. The very definition of cooperative. Just let me be there for her."
Rick nodded. "Give us about fifteen minutes to get her settled, and then I'll take you up."
Father Ray stepped away from the window, clearing his throat. "Doctor Bauer, with your permission, I would like to go up as well to perform the Anointing of the Sick for Natalia."
Rick nodded at Father Ray, then looked back at Olivia. "I can take you both up, but only one at a time in the room."
"That's fine," Olivia said. "Father Ray can go in first so that Natalia can have her blessing. I'll wait outside until he's finished."
Rick reached forward, clasping Olivia's hand. "Things are looking positive. I can't make any promises, but she came through the surgery much better than anticipated. Now it's a matter of seeing how she responds."
"Thank you, Rick." Olivia held his gaze for a moment, and Rick nodded at her before returning to the nurses' station.
Olivia managed to keep her back straight for a few seconds more, but then her shoulders sagged as a weight made up of equal parts tension and relief slammed into her with avalanche force. Josh wrapped an arm around her waist and guiding her to a chair, and she slumped into it, her head in her hands while the others hovered around her.
"I'm just tired," she growled. "Everybody quit fussing at me."
"How about that lousy coffee?" Buzz asked.
She tipped her head to the side to glance up at him. "That works. Thank you."
"You're welcome." He gave her a cockeyed grin, then walked over to the bank of coffee pots in the corner of the room and set about making a cup.
"We'll stay," Doris said. "In case you need anything."
"No, Doris, that's silly." Olivia turned her glance on each of them - Doris, Blake, Josh, Ashlee. "Thank you all for your time. I'm grateful, and I know Natalia would be as well, that we have such good friends to support us through this. But there's no reason that any of you shouldn't go home and get some sleep. If someone wants to bring me breakfast and some proper coffee in the morning, I wouldn't complain, but other than that, I don't see any point in any of you hanging around. I will call if anything changes."
"You promise?" Ashlee asked.
"Yes, I promise." Olivia waved a hand at them. "Now get lost, all of you."
"I can stay until Rick comes back," Josh said.
"I'll do that," Buzz said, returning with a cup of coffee in his hand. "Light cream, two sugars."
"Stalker." Olivia shot him a grateful look and accepted the white styrofoam cup, the heat soothing against the palm of her hand. She took a sip, wincing at the still bitter taste of the cheap blend, then set the coffee aside and rose to her feet. "Thank you, each of you, for being here today. We're incredibly lucky to have you all."
Doris clasped her hands and said, "You call if you need us." She leaned forward, whispering, "Though if we could avoid anything else that involves judges, I'd appreciate it."
"You got it," Olivia said with a soft laugh.
She accepted an embrace from Blake, then was immediately swallowed up in an Ashlee-sized bear hug. Olivia struggled to keep her balance before finally surrendering to it. "Natalia will want to see Rafe," Olivia murmured in her ear. "If you can think of a way to find him..."
"I'll talk to Daisy in the morning," Ashlee said. "Maybe we can figure something out."
"Thanks Ashlee." Olivia pulled back, touching the young woman's cheek, and then turned to Josh. "Lewis, get the hell out of here."
"You call me if you need anything," he said, holding her close. "Food, coffee, Miss Martha's Bible."
"Hey, there's a thought." Olivia put her mouth to his ear and murmured, "Maybe we could make Ray read it."
Josh chuckled. "I think understanding it is what he has a problem with." He straightened, cupping her cheek. "You take care of yourself, please?"
Olivia shrugged. "You know I'm good at that."
Josh gave an ironic laugh, his blue eyes conveying the worry he wouldn't articulate. Then he nodded at her and turned toward the others. "Come on, ladies. I'll walk you downstairs."
Olivia waited for them to depart, then sat back down, groping for her coffee. She took another sip, wrinkling her nose at the taste while Buzz sat down next to her.
"So," Buzz said.
"So." Olivia stared down at the cheap carpeting, her head spinning at the cocktail of exhaustion, hope, and need thrumming through her veins. It feels like the first time I walked into a Beacon board meeting, she thought, a wistful smile tugging the corners of her mouth as she added, or the first time I had to face Natalia after I finally knew. Softly, she asked, "Buzz, what do I tell her?"
"That you love her," Buzz replied. "That you're not going anywhere."
"And if she's afraid?"
"You tell her that you love her again," Buzz said, and Olivia could see an old, deep pain in his eyes.
"That's enough?" she asked, wanting his reassurance.
His smile was melancholy, his eyes weary. "It's all you've got."