'Must be strong.'
Airports are cruel places. Each arrival/departure sign is like a choice, an inevitable choice that has already been decided for you. You have no choice but to choose the Departures, leaving behind friends and incredibly loved ones. Suddenly time is precious again and 45 minutes doesn't feel like much, or enough, for anything.
For others airports are amazing places. Loved ones return from overseas with gifts and success and stories to tell. A hug, a kiss, tears of joy, or maybe no tears. Maybe just quiet relief and peace in the long backseat car ride home under the yellow lights that make comforting and familiar patterns across your face.
I wished I could peer into the hearts and minds of the travellers I see to determine whether they are in agony or in anticipation of what has passed and what is to come. I want to know I feel the way someone else feels. I want to feel more excited for the future and less sad at its beginnings.
I really don't know how I made it through 400 odd days without completely breaking down. I tell myself that this will get easier over time, but somehow I know it won't. I forgot the ease that comes with the returning of the self to where the heart truly is. And I forgot that ease over the time I've been in Canada. It's easy to talk about the pros and cons when you're comfortable.
I guess now it's my time of reckoning.
For others airports are amazing places. Loved ones return from overseas with gifts and success and stories to tell. A hug, a kiss, tears of joy, or maybe no tears. Maybe just quiet relief and peace in the long backseat car ride home under the yellow lights that make comforting and familiar patterns across your face.
I wished I could peer into the hearts and minds of the travellers I see to determine whether they are in agony or in anticipation of what has passed and what is to come. I want to know I feel the way someone else feels. I want to feel more excited for the future and less sad at its beginnings.
I really don't know how I made it through 400 odd days without completely breaking down. I tell myself that this will get easier over time, but somehow I know it won't. I forgot the ease that comes with the returning of the self to where the heart truly is. And I forgot that ease over the time I've been in Canada. It's easy to talk about the pros and cons when you're comfortable.
I guess now it's my time of reckoning.