Ralph Waldo Emerson said... "Truth is beautiful, without doubt; but so are lies."
Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote: The wise man in the storm prays God, not for safety from danger, but for deliverance from fear
i cried for the first time in a while. about what? a lot of things. first was all this stress i'm putting myself under. i know i can handle it, it's just hard to keep my head on sometimes. To find time for myself in the midst of keeping up with work, school, and romeo. Romeo. Oh Romeo, why can't I handle you, oh Romeo. I love my dog. I do. I look in his eyes and I just see a little guy trusting me to keep him safe, to love him, take him on walks, and lead him. The last is so hard. It should be the first. I need to be better for him, I just don't know how and that frustrates me.
The other thing that's really bothering me is the fact that I can't just let certain things go. I see someone almost everyday. We acknowledge eachother's existence, and I don't know what this person sees when he looks at me, but when I look at him, I want to yell and scream and ask him why he hasn't apologized. What makes him think he can even talk to me. Why she might be able to forgive and forget, but forgetting for me, the person you actually attacked, will not happen. I've been trying so hard to let this go.
I hate feeling that I've been left out of this house. I'm always on the outside of everyone's inside jokes and can't seem to figure out why. Maybe it's better this way. It might be better this way. The life and career I want so terribly seems to be asking for many a lonely day. Maybe because of the travel I want to do, or maybe because it's safer to keep a distance. I haven't figured it out yet. Maybe that's why I've waned on trusting people. If people always leave, then why put your complete faith in keeping them around. People are going to betray you in one way or another. I don't know, maybe I'm just being cynical.
The last thing that made me cry today, was the comment left on my last entry. I don't know who wrote it, even though I had a few ideas. I loved it. And whoever you are, thank you. Thank you for seeing the positive when I'm just seeing rain. Thank you, for being there for me even when I don't know you are there. It's good sometimes to know there are people who think about you but are not always present figures in your life.
i cried for the first time in a while. about what? a lot of things. first was all this stress i'm putting myself under. i know i can handle it, it's just hard to keep my head on sometimes. To find time for myself in the midst of keeping up with work, school, and romeo. Romeo. Oh Romeo, why can't I handle you, oh Romeo. I love my dog. I do. I look in his eyes and I just see a little guy trusting me to keep him safe, to love him, take him on walks, and lead him. The last is so hard. It should be the first. I need to be better for him, I just don't know how and that frustrates me.
The other thing that's really bothering me is the fact that I can't just let certain things go. I see someone almost everyday. We acknowledge eachother's existence, and I don't know what this person sees when he looks at me, but when I look at him, I want to yell and scream and ask him why he hasn't apologized. What makes him think he can even talk to me. Why she might be able to forgive and forget, but forgetting for me, the person you actually attacked, will not happen. I've been trying so hard to let this go.
I hate feeling that I've been left out of this house. I'm always on the outside of everyone's inside jokes and can't seem to figure out why. Maybe it's better this way. It might be better this way. The life and career I want so terribly seems to be asking for many a lonely day. Maybe because of the travel I want to do, or maybe because it's safer to keep a distance. I haven't figured it out yet. Maybe that's why I've waned on trusting people. If people always leave, then why put your complete faith in keeping them around. People are going to betray you in one way or another. I don't know, maybe I'm just being cynical.
The last thing that made me cry today, was the comment left on my last entry. I don't know who wrote it, even though I had a few ideas. I loved it. And whoever you are, thank you. Thank you for seeing the positive when I'm just seeing rain. Thank you, for being there for me even when I don't know you are there. It's good sometimes to know there are people who think about you but are not always present figures in your life.