why?

[passghetti]

i remember when you used to be genuinely kind.
you all are so hard to recognize.
now, they stare hard.

i can see that they've written me off.

we open our mouths and hear only the words that come out.
the sentiment is lost.
back behind our teeth and sliding down our throats.
my words spill out too easily.
i can't hide anything.
i envy your ability to stop loving, to stop caring for everyone.
i envy the fact that a bottle of alcohol can cure everything for you.
i wonder what will happen when we all wake up from this restless sleep that that has manifested where our lives once were.