Someone Like You (Liam/Louis) 3/3
Title: Someone Like You
Fandom: One Direction (Liam/Louis)
Louis rang just as Liam was getting off the bus with Zayn. "Hang on," Liam said, fumbling for his mobile. "Yeah?"
"Hi," said Louis. He sounded a little subdued, enough so that Liam stopped and frowned at his phone for a second.
"You missed a hell of a party last night," Zayn said, at the same moment Louis said, "I didn't see you last night."
"Are you okay?" Liam asked. Zayn looked at him, and Liam waved a hand, trying to explain that he was talking to Louis on the phone.
Louis sighed. "I'm fine. You're with Zayn right now? Sorry, I can call you back-"
"You don't sound fine," said Liam. Zayn had started texting someone, probably Jenna, so Liam didn't feel bad about ignoring him.
"No, I'm absolutely great," said Louis, in a pale imitation of his normal perk. "I just… I thought you'd come out last night and you didn't."
"Parties, drunk people…" Liam trailed off with a little shrug. "Niall and Zayn enjoyed it."
"Yeah. No, it was fun. It was a good time. Oh, hey, what if… Um. Can I ask you something?"
There was something a little bit strange about Louis's voice, and Liam's heart began pounding in his ears without his permission. "Of course," Liam said, trying to stop himself from sounding overly serious.
Louis laughed quietly. "Oh, I was just… You know what, never mind. D'you want to do something?"
Liam wanted to know what Louis had been going to ask him, but he couldn't think of a way to say so. "Uh, let me see if Zayn is busy," he said.
"No," said Louis, and then sighed. "I mean, fine, but… Maybe don't bring him? I thought it could be just you and me, hanging out."
There was absolutely no reason for that to make Liam's heart jump into his throat. And yet it did, and he needed a second when he ducked his head and his hair fell across his face a little bit so Zayn wouldn't see his expression. "Not even Harry?" Liam asked, joking but not really joking, and he couldn't tell if his tone was right or if Louis was going to instantly know that Liam was… well. Hopeful would have been close to the right word.
"Nah, definitely not Harry. Just you and me. Tonight, maybe? We could, like, go out."
Liam stopped breathing. He doesn't mean what you think he means, he told himself sternly, but there was something so weird and tentative about Louis's tone that Liam didn’t entirely believe himself.
"You can ask me anything, you know," Liam blurted. Zayn looked up from his texting, saw Liam's face, and both his eyebrow went up immediately. Liam was definitely blushing. He ducked his head again, turning away from Zayn as much as he could manage.
"Maybe I will tonight," said Louis, a little cheekily. Liam laughed. "I'll text you, yeah? Later."
Liam clicked his mobile off. His hands were shaking. "What?" Zayn asked. "Oh my god, what?"
"Nothing," said Liam. "I mean… Maybe nothing? I don't know."
Zayn copied all of Liam's homework, and he missed jokes now and again, but he was ace at reading Liam's mind. "Louis asked you out," said Zayn, absolutely certain. "Oh, wow."
"No! He… He just said he has something to ask me. Later. Uh. Alone." Liam's cheeks hurt, they were so red. He couldn't stop smiling, he felt absolutely stupid.
Zayn grinned. "Oh, did he? That's brilliant!"
"It's probably nothing," insisted Liam.
Zayn put his arm around Liam's neck and dragged him down so he could strangle him a little. Liam laughed. "You're gonna be so cute together," said Zayn, in his fake-crying voice. Liam elbowed him in the side and tried not to let himself get too excited.
--
Louis texted Liam the name of a little restaurant in town. Liam thought about maybe changing his clothes, wearing something nicer than jogging bottoms and a t-shirt, but immediately decided it was unforgivably girly to even consider. It wasn't as if Louis were going to be taking pictures of anything. Liam tried to do some reading for general studies and then gave up and spent a couple of hours looking at stupid things on his phone to kill time.
He was absolutely not nervous and his hands weren't at all sweaty when he finally headed off to see Louis. He was humming, though, and bouncing a little bit, and when he saw Louis standing outside, with the light from the restaurant behind him making his hair glow a little, and a big smile on his face, it was possible that Liam forgot how to breathe for a moment.
"Hey," said Louis. He had a really beautiful smile; it made Liam need to smile back at him all the time.
"Hi," said Liam, biting the inside of his cheek. He could already feel his cheeks getting hot. He was ridiculous around Louis. He'd need to work on that.
"I thought we could get dinner," said Louis, jerking his head toward the restaurant.
Liam didn't say, oh my god, is this a date? because he was fairly sure he should have known whether it was one or not. There was the lingering question of Harry, of course, but as much as Liam liked Harry he couldn't bring himself to want to talk about Harry at the moment. He wanted Louis to say, "Me and Harry are just good friends, and I was hoping you and me could go out," so badly that it made his hands clench up into fists.
"Liam?" said Louis, tilting his head with a funny, fond little smile. "Dinner?"
"Oh," said Liam. "Yeah, of course, yeah."
"You were a million miles away," Louis laughed, giving Liam's cheek a little smack. Liam shook his head and huffed in mock-indignation.
The restaurant wasn't really anything fancy, it was just a bit nicer than the shops where they normally hung out, but it had tables. Most of the people sitting around were definitely on dates, which Liam tried very hard not to notice.
"You know Harry's band's got another gig?" Louis asked as they sat down.
Liam was torn between being happy for them and realizing he was going to spend the rest of his life going to shitty bars to see his friends play. "That's great for them," he said. "They sound better every time I hear them."
"Do you ever write songs?" Louis asked. "I was thinking next gig he gets, the band could bring you along, you could play, too. Beatles covers are fine, but you must be writing things, right?"
"I've got original compositions for my A-Level," Liam said, pulling a face.
"Ugh, not that. Proper songs. You must have written some."
Liam shrugged. "I have. I don't know if they're any good, and anyway, Harry's band isn't big enough to need an opening act."
"They will be," said Louis. "If we could just get Harry to stop panicking over screwing up."
Liam loved Harry, but he didn't especially want to sit around at dinner with Louis discussing him. "I don't know why he gets nervous, he's always good," said Liam.
"The thing about Harry is he's really sweet," said Louis. "He wants everyone to get on and be nice to each other. He pretends to be bad, but really he's not. That's probably why you two get on so well. You're both really good people."
"I - Oh - what?" said Liam, trying not to color.
"Really," said Louis, reaching over the table and grabbing Liam's hand. Liam had got better about that, he didn't usually go absolutely stiff when Louis did that anymore, but tonight he didn't know what to do with himself. Louis was being unusually sincere and Liam's stomach felt like it was doing backflips. "I thought you were putting it on at first, that no one could be so honestly kind, but you aren't. That's just you."
Liam felt a lot like he was going to die. "Oh," he said again, because it looked like Louis expected a response of some sort. His brain had gone entirely off-line.
Louis grinned, and pretended like he wanted to smack Liam again. Liam ducked out of the way. "I can't stand it," said Louis. "It makes me want to corrupt you terribly."
Liam's breath caught in his throat again. "You - what?" he choked.
"I'd like to muss you up and get you dirty," Louis said, smile going wicked.
It was entirely possible Liam was going to drop dead right there at the table. "You could," he mumbled. "If you'd like."
Louis laughed. "I'm working on it! See, that's why I wanted to talk to you tonight. Without anyone else here."
For a minute Liam couldn't hear over the sound of his heart, as if all the blood in his body were rushing through his ears. He felt dizzy and a little ill. When had his crush started manifesting itself like the flu, he wondered, and would it be cured if he finally just got to tell Louis how he'd felt about him for such a long time? His pulse was going so quickly that his fingers were tingling and he was a little worried he'd forget to keep breathing and just keel over.
"I want you to help me prank Harry," said Louis. "It's going to be amazing. Normally he helps me with everything, he does the videos and whatever, but I really need to prank him and get it on tape, and I want it to be something awful."
It was so completely not what Liam had been thinking Louis would say next that it took him a minute to process it. "Pranks?" he echoed, feeling dim.
"Your idea of practical jokes is terrible, I've seen it," said Louis. "You could use the practice. You and me'll make a great team; you're so nice Harry'll never expect it. We can plot out something really awful. I wonder if I can make him cry on video. I'll make it up to him later, of course. I'm not a monster."
"Oh my god," said Liam. "You just want me to help you prank Harry." It was a fundamentally stupid thing to say, but Liam felt awfully stupid at the moment. He had the sensation that he was actually crashing through the floor, could feel the horrible plummet in his stomach as if he'd tripped and fallen.
"I don't think Zayn can keep a secret," said Louis, "and Niall'd give it away by giggling. But you should make an excellent henchman." He made finger guns and pointed at Liam.
A waitress came over and asked what they'd like to eat. Liam must have mumbled something because she went away again, but honestly he felt like if he ate anything he'd throw it up straight away. Louis went on with his plans for pranking Harry, animatedly waving his arms around and making noises to illustrate each step, and Liam tried to listen, but his brain was full of fuzzy noises like a badly-tuned radio.
The worst part was it was entirely down to Liam that he felt so terrible. Because Louis hadn't done or said anything, and Liam had started to… He'd let himself… Anyway, it was stupid, and he was an idiot, and every miserable feeling he was having was his own fault. Louis had been nice, but Louis was always nice, and Louis just wanted to chat about Harry, because of course Louis did.
Louis thought of Liam exactly how Liam had suspected; Liam was dependable, which meant dull. Liam didn't know how to do pranks properly, which also meant dull. Liam was just the guy who missed out on parties and could hold a video camera steady while Louis teased someone much more fun than Liam was.
Louis stopped halfway through a sentence to frown at Liam. "Are you alright?"
Liam nodded and tried to put on a smile. He didn't give himself any allowances for feeling sorry for himself, not when he'd worked himself up over nothing and then had to deal with the consequences. "I'm fine," he said. "What'll you do next?"
Louis looked doubtful, but went on. "Well, that's why I need the duct tape," he said. "Are you certain you're okay? You look a little… Weird."
At least he hadn't said anything. It could have been so much worse if Liam had actually said, "Is this a date?" out loud. Or anything, really. Liam was going to need a couple of days to deal with his disappointment and all these terrible, awful, painful feelings bubbling around in his stomach, and then he'd be fine.
Maybe he'd need more like a week. A week without seeing Louis smile at Harry, and a week without Louis jumping all over him.
…maybe a month. If Liam could manage a month without running in to Louis he was positive he'd be fine again. Completely able to carry on a normal conversation like typical friends. Maybe even able to deal with some of his dreadful jealousy of Harry.
Louis was looking at him, with his concerned face and his big eyes and his swoopy hair, and he was so attractive that it made the awful, crushing feeling in Liam's chest worse. Louis had these moments of stillness sometimes, when Liam could see that the goofiness and the silly voices were all just put on for other people's benefit, when Louis was afraid someone was bored, or wouldn't like him, or might be sad. Some of it was Louis's real restlessness, but so much of it was just Louis being generous with his attention and his energy, and the idea of Louis being kind at the moment made Liam positive he was about to throw up.
"I might have the flu," Liam said suddenly. Louis tilted his head and frowned quizzically. "Ruth had it, and the baby's got it, so… I might be getting ill," said Liam. He wasn't a fantastic liar, but he apparently looked as bad as he felt.
"Okay," said Louis, nodding slowly.
"I should probably go home, god, I don't want to get you ill, too," said Liam. He tried to stand up and push his chair in at the same time he looked for his wallet, and he ended up knocking the chair over instead, fumbling everything everywhere.
"Jesus, Liam, what's your problem?" Louis asked, getting up to help him. Louis's hands brushed Liam's and it felt like an electric shock. Liam recoiled, flinching like he hadn't since the first time Louis had unexpectedly bitten him. He banged into the table and their water spilled everywhere, drenching Louis's chair.
"Sorry, sorry," Liam said, but the more Louis was helpful the more Liam felt like he'd been kicked in the stomach. He wasn't going to cry, at least; that would have been really difficult to explain. "Tell me about the… About the prank later, yeah? I'm going to run home."
Louis looked disappointed. It was awful. "You've got food coming."
"No, I-Here." Liam grabbed a note without looking at it and shoved it on the table, then realized it was going to get wet and tried to pick it up again. He ended up with damp spots on his t-shirt and a soggy note and Louis staring at him as if he were an alien. Liam made himself stop and take a deep breath before he upended the table and Louis realized he was actually having a breakdown. "Sorry, here, this is for whatever I ordered. Just - text me about the prank. Or actually, don't. I don’t think I'd be very helpful, I'm not funny. I'm clearly not the person you should have help you with this. Get Niall to do it, he's hilarious. He'd be better. He's a much better choice, really, overall." Liam clamped down on his tendency to start babbling and lecturing when he was upset. "I'm going home. G'night."
"Liam, what on earth is wrong with you?" Louis asked, still half-teasing.
Liam tried a smile, tried a shrug, and came away feeling even more like he'd fallen out of a plane without a parachute. He knew he looked like an absolute crazy person, running out before dinner even started, but he couldn't sit there in a restaurant surrounded by couples on a date, and look at Louis all night. He just couldn't. Liam turned on his heel and fled, leaving Louis shaking his head curiously behind him.
--
It would have been fine, Liam believed, except Niall and Zayn decided to surprise him by popping by at an odd hour the next day. Liam had successfully avoided them by actually bunking off school for once. He faked being sick and stayed in bed straight through until his mum shouted, "Liam, the boys are here!" She hadn't really believed he was ill anyway.
He went downstairs and tried to paste on a happy face for Zayn and Niall. Niall immediately blinked at him suspiciously. It was terrible, having friends who knew you so well, and also Liam was aware he didn't lie very well. And then Zayn elbowed him and grinned and said, "Well? Was it amazing? Did he kiss you? Did you skip school to hide the hickeys?"
Niall said indignantly, "Why wasn't I told? I'm supposed to be told about these things!" They both looked at him expectantly.
Liam had a double problem; that he couldn't fake being happy very well, and that he was an idiot who had set himself up for disappointment. "It was just Louis wanting to chat about Harry," he said, shrugging one shoulder and trying to smile.
Zayn dragged him onto the couch. "But… He was all mysterious."
"No, I just misunderstood him. Can we talk about something else?"
"Hang on a mo," said Niall. "He asked you out to dinner to talk about Harry? That's fucked up. Was it like, an invitation to a threesome?"
Liam was a little worried his mum could hear all this from the kitchen. "No," he said. He made himself smile because none of this was Louis's fault, so it wasn't fair to say anything. It was slightly more painful than the time he'd fallen out of a tree, though. "How was school today?"
"If it wasn't a date why did Louis want to talk to you alone?" Zayn asked. He frowned. "Was he just being a jerk?"
"No," said Liam, a little more forcefully than he needed to. "Louis's not a jerk, I'm just an absolute idiot. He wanted to play a prank on Harry and have me help. Can we drop it, please?"
Zayn leaned around him to frown at Niall, who also looked a bit annoyed. "That's pretty shit," said Niall. "Acting like it was a big deal and then having it be nothing."
"He didn't - He wasn't -"
"I mean, let's face it. He knows you fancy him. Sorry, Li, but it's seventeen kinds of obvious," said Zayn. He sounded genuinely apologetic, which didn't especially help. Liam wished he were dead. "It's all over your face. Just like right now you look miserable."
"If he's just fucking with you, I'll punch him in the face," Niall said. "I've done it before, you know."
The idea that Louis knew was so awful that Liam sank right back into the misery of the night before as if he were realizing all over again. "No," he said unconvincingly. "He just… He wanted to talk pranks because mine are crap, obviously, and he wishes I were more fun. It's not-"
"Did he say that?" Zayn demanded.
Had he? Liam remembered him saying something like that. "Sort of?" Liam settled on. "Not in a mean way. I'm just… I'm not his type, anyway, and maybe he did know I… That I… I mean, maybe he was just letting me know that he doesn't fancy me. That's fine, I knew that, I knew about Harry."
"I'll punch his head off," said Niall.
Liam had the best and simultaneously worst friends ever. "No!" he said. "Niall, seriously, you can't. It wasn't him, it was all me. I just thought… I just stupidly thought maybe…" He couldn't swallow and he couldn't finish the sentence. Liam also couldn't handle the sheer amount of pity on Niall and Zayn's faces so he stared at his socks, instead.
"Oh god, Liam, you should see your face," said Zayn, pulling him in to a hug.
Liam said, "Life is full of disappointment, right?" but it mostly got swallowed by Zayn's jumper. Zayn hugged him harder, fingers tangled in the back of Liam's t-shirt.
"I like Louis a lot," said Niall loudly, "but if he told you that load of shite I'll absolutely kill him. And then he can apologize and we'll go out for a pint and it'll be fine! But first I'm gonna kill him."
"No," said Liam, trying to pull away from Zayn. Zayn kept his arms round Liam's waist, which he didn't actually object to. "Niall, you can't. He'll hate me. He'll hate all of us, and anyway Louis didn't do anything. Promise me you won't. I'm not ten anymore; I can fight my own battles."
"You could, but you never do," Niall grumbled. He relented with a sigh. "Fine. I promise. If you say it's not his fault-"
"It wasn't," Liam said firmly. "Just mine. I'm an idiot."
"You're only an idiot for calling yourself an idiot," Zayn said. "What sort of arsehole invites people out for private dinners to talk about a prank? He must have been winding you up for a laugh. Are you sure he wasn't filming it?"
It was such a horrible thought that Liam couldn't even consider it. Anyway, Louis had been a little quieter than usual, and so much more serious. He hadn't sounded like he was taking the piss when he told Liam that he was a good person. "No," Liam said. "It wasn't a prank on me. I'd kill him myself."
"You wouldn't, though," said Zayn fondly, hooking his chin over Liam's shoulder.
Liam sighed a little. He wouldn't. He still liked Louis too much, even if it was something that made him feel hopeless, now, and all empty inside where his heart should have been. "I just should have known, really," Liam said.
"You keep making that face, Payne, I'm gonna punch him anyway," Niall threatened. "Now what food have you got? Where's your mum?"
Liam laughed. "In the kitchen. She heard you come in, don't worry."
Niall lit up. "I love your mum," he said, jumping off the couch. "Snacks'll fix everything."
"I'm just never gonna speak to Louis again," Liam mumbled to Zayn. "That's a good plan, right?"
"Absolutely," Zayn lied, and Liam tried to let himself believe it.
--
It wasn't actually hard to avoid Louis for a couple of days; Liam just went straight home after school, didn't show up to Nelson's, and spent the weekend at home. Niall and Zayn kept following him home, as if they were worried he'd crack into a million little pieces if he were left on his own. It was very kind, but also made it impossible for Liam to get any revising or work done. Saturday night they went out to drink without him, but that was entirely normal.
It hadn't occurred to Liam to worry that they might run into Harry and Louis while they were out until his phone buzzed with a text, and then another, and then another, until it was buzzing so furiously it might as well have been ringing. Liam had been half-heartedly trying to sleep, but he got up to check his phone.
From Niall 10:53
o shit it wasnt me i swer
From Niall 10:55
DONT B MAD @ US THEY STRTED IT
From Niall 10:55
he was smyling and zayn , got mad , i t wasn me
From Niall 10:56
Zayn is drunk , i think
From Niall 10:56
me to
From Niall 10:56
r u up?
From Niall 10:57
r u up???
From Niall 10:58
why arent yu up?
From Niall 10:58
LIAM
From Niall 10:59
LIAMMMMMMM
From Zayn 11:00
Sorry x X x I love you x X
Liam was slightly terrified of calling Niall back. "What happened?" he asked, not even pretending to be polite.
"I promised I wouldn't and I didn't!" Niall said loudly. They were obviously outside a pub; Liam could hear music and shouting and cars.
"What are we discussing?" Liam asked grimly.
Niall sounded absolutely pissed. "We walked in and Louis was there and first thing, right, very first thing he says is, 'Does Liam know that wasn't a date?' And maybe me and Zayn already had a couple on the way over, but his tone was out of line."
Liam winced. "Oh, god," he said. "It's fine, it's okay, I already knew I made an idiot out of myself." It wasn't okay, Liam's stomach felt like it was full of lead, but he didn't like to complain.
Niall made an awkward, unhappy little noise. "Well, it might have been okay, except Zayn suddenly decided it was his job to clock Louis in the face."
Liam tried to gasp and shout at the same time and ended up choking on nothing and spluttering into the phone for a minute. "What?" he shouted finally. "Zayn did what?"
"That's a lie!" Zayn shouted from somewhere behind Niall, and Liam could hear what sounded like a little scuffle.
"S'not a lie, Zayn tried to punch Louis in the gob. Only you know Zayn, he's about as good at punching people as a wet noodle would be. He really more just… I mean, sort of, like, you know." Liam imagined Niall was flailing a bit on the other end of the phone to demonstrate.
Liam had to hide his face against a pillow for a minute. It was fine; he could hear Niall and Zayn arguing drunkenly with each other.
Zayn had punched Louis in the face.
Louis was worried Liam thought that might have been a date.
Liam seriously considered moving to Madagascar and starting a new life with… With… With a mustache or something. A mustache and a one-eyed dog, and Liam would build himself a cabin and live in the jungle and have no electricity or contact with the outside world again, ever.
"Liam?" Niall said. "You okay?"
"No," said Liam, behind the pillow. "Now I don't just have to avoid him for a few weeks, I have to avoid him for the rest of my life."
"Nah, we'll all forget about it and hang out again eventually," said Niall, sounding uncertain. "We'll have a drink, we'll clown around, it'll be fine. He ought to be cross with Zayn, anyway, not with you."
"Give the phone to Zayn. I need to talk to him," said Liam.
There was more shouting and a little bit of the phone being dropped, and then Zayn said, "Before you say anything! It was an accident."
"How do you hit someone in the face by accident?" Liam demanded. He was trying to work himself up to cross with Zayn, but Liam had a hard time being cross with anyone, ever.
"I just wanted to knock that smirk off his face, he was making fun of you," said Zayn. "Sorry. I knew Niall promised not to-"
"I didn't want either one of you to - Jesus Christ," said Liam.
He swore so rarely that Zayn actually didn't reply for a minute. "I'm sorry," Zayn said again, finally
"No," said Liam. He flopped over backward on his bed. "Remember when I'd never spoken to Louis, and we didn't have any problems, and you'd never hit anyone in the face? I know exactly where it all went wrong. I should have just never started talking to him and Harry." Liam tried to wish that it had all never happened, but he couldn't; he'd had too much fun with Louis and Harry and all five of them spending time at the bungalow and being ridiculous. It had been really amazing. And now he could never, ever go back there.
Zayn shouted and then Niall reappeared on the phone. "Zayn didn't mean it," he said. "Don't be cross. We'll take Louis out for a pint in a week or two, he'll forget all about it."
Louis would forget about getting hit, but he wouldn't forget that he thought Liam was an idiot. "Yeah," said Liam. He rubbed his forehead with one hand, planning his escape to live all on his own on an island with no mobile reception. "That sounds good."
--
Avoiding Louis and Harry got a lot easier after that, since Niall and Zayn were helping.
--
Football was less fun with just Niall than Liam remembered, and going to the chip shop was a lot quieter without Louis throwing food at everyone, or Harry getting kicked out for pulling people's trousers down. Liam had more time to get his revising done and do his reading and essays for his music exams, but mostly he didn't. Mostly he didn't do much of anything.
--
Two and a half weeks later Liam was home, alone, clicking through Cracked articles on a Saturday night while Niall and Zayn went to a party for someone that Niall had met once and instantly become mates with. Zayn had pouted at him a bit, claiming he'd be lonely and shy without Liam there. Liam laughed and ignored him.
A little after midnight, when Liam was starting to think about maybe going to bed, Niall called. "I'm drunk," he said loudly. "Hullo."
"Hi," said Liam. "What else is new?"
"No, I'm… I'm really… Hey, where are you?"
"I'm at home," said Liam patiently. "How drunk are you?"
"I'm not drunk!" Niall said, and giggled, and dropped the phone. Liam listened to general party noise for a minute, shook his head a little, and started pulling out his trainers and a sweatshirt because clearly he needed to go and get Niall.
"Hello?" said a girl's voice. "Whose phone is this?"
"The drunk blond fellow with the Irish accent," said Liam. This wasn't the first time this had happened.
After a minute Niall's voice came back. "Liam!" he said. "Liam, Zayn's abandoned me for that girl who's always taking her kit off. I think I'm drunk."
"Yeah," said Liam fondly. "I got that. Are you at Eric's? I can be there in twenty minutes."
"But you hate parties," said Niall. "Oh god, I'm gonna throw up. 'Scuse me."
Liam clicked his phone off and stuffed it in his pocket. He'd rescued Niall from drunkenly stumbling home through traffic a couple of times. It made him feel needed, which was nice.
Luckily Eric lived close enough that Liam could jog over there in a few minutes. Once he'd had to wake his parents up to get a lift to go and get Niall, and they'd all got a lot of stern parental looks and disappointed lectures for a couple of days. Liam needed to find some time to start taking driving lessons so he could pick up Zayn and Niall when they got drunk at parties.
It was a nice night for a jog, cool but not cold, not too dark on the streets, not too many people out and screaming. It was easy to find Eric's party; his house was lit up like Christmas, with drunk students snogging and groping all along the pavement. Liam wasn't exactly sure how he'd find Niall, but he assumed Niall would be in there and loud enough to find if Liam just looked around a bit. He pushed his way in through a crowd of people he mostly recognized from school. There was a thumping stereo playing somewhere, making the walls shake, and half the furniture had been upended. Probably Liam should look for Zayn, too; whoever this girl was, Zayn was probably too drunk to do anything fun with her.
A drunk girl grabbed Liam and tried to kiss him; he laughed and shrugged her off and shoved his way into the kitchen. He was taller than most of the people there, but not tall enough to see Niall anywhere. Liam pushed his way through and around again. Someone shouted, "Whoo!" at him and Liam shouted it back, waving his arms a little. At least it seemed like a fun party, even if it was completely mad.
Liam managed to squeeze through to the stairs, which were also full of people. If he got to the top he could look around for Niall; that might save some time. It was hard getting past all the couples groping each other on the steps, and hard to see anything over all the waving arms and people jumping on each other.
Liam leaned over the balcony at the top of the steps, looking for Niall. He didn't see him, so it was possible Niall had curled up in a corner somewhere and was napping. Someone bumped in to Liam and offered him a bottle; Liam shook his head. It was quieter upstairs, at least, although still ear-splittingly loud. Liam was a little surprised Niall hadn't been trampled.
Someone else banged in to Liam and then grabbed his arm. "Hey," said Louis. "Liam! Hey, Liam!"
Liam froze. His heart dropped straight through his feet. When he turned to look Louis was looking at him, curious and really drunk. Louis smiled a little tentatively. "I thought you hated parties!"
"I do," said Liam. "I'm looking for Niall. I'm… I'm really sorry about Zayn." He bit his lip. His whole chest hurt.
Louis grimaced.
"I'm so sorry," Liam repeated. He was pretty sure Louis was too drunk to remember any of this later, but just in case he never ran into Louis again he wanted to say it. "It was all my fault, I know that, I shouldn’t have said anything to either of them and I shouldn't have assumed-"
The crowd upstairs surged a little bit, shoving Louis closer to Liam. Liam was holding on to the banister with one hand and Louis's hand fell on top of his. Their shoulders bumped a little. Liam felt achy and miserable all over.
"I'm really drunk!" Louis said. He didn't need to shout anymore, they were close enough that Liam could hear him over the music.
"I know," said Liam. He sighed. "I should go-"
"I mean," Louis said, pressing a little bit closer, "I'm drunk enough that I can forget I said this in the morning, okay? We can pretend this never happened. But I just need to tell you something."
"Don't," said Liam. Last time it had ended so badly, and he just wanted to go home without screwing anything up even worse. He tried to avoid Louis's gaze but there weren't a lot of other places to look.
Louis pulled a face. "I know, but I have to!" He took a deep breath, psyching himself up for something difficult. Liam did not want to hear whatever it was, and couldn't keep the cringe off his face. "I just want to say that you can do better than Zayn!"
That… That was not even on the same planet as what Liam had been bracing himself for. "What?" he said.
"I think you deserve better," Louis said. He winced, then blurted, "I like Zayn! He's a great mate but he's an awful boyfriend, and you deserve better, Liam."
"I'm sorry?" Liam said. Maybe he'd got some kind of contact drunk from being at the party; he had no idea what Louis was talking about.
"You're too nice," said Louis, squeezing Liam's hand. "It's not fair; he gets to go off and shag whoever he wants. I'm sorry I made him cross, I swear it wasn't really supposed to be a date, I just… I just really like you, and you're too nice, Liam, and you deserve someone who only wants you."
"What are you talking about?" Liam asked. It was possible he was shouting a little, but he was honestly confused. "Zayn is not my boyfriend!"
Louis blinked at him. "Well… Good," he said, looking confused, too.
"Why would you think Zayn is my boyfriend?" Liam demanded. He felt like he and Louis were having entirely different conversations.
"He's always touching you and kissing you and you won't go anywhere without him," Louis said. "I just… Me and Harry thought-"
"No," said Liam, a little more forcefully than he needed to. "Absolutely not. I love Zayn but I wouldn't date him. He likes girls!"
"Well, his Facebook status is 'It's Complicated,'" said Louis, looking uncomfortable. "We just thought… We talked about it a lot. Christ, I'm pissed, did I mention?"
"Yeah," said Liam. He wanted to laugh but he wasn't sure it was entirely appropriate. "You've thought Zayn was my boyfriend this whole time?"
A tiny smile tugged at the corner of Louis's mouth, and Liam smiled back, because he always had to smile back at Louis. "You're not dating Zayn," said Louis.
"No," said Liam, shaking his head.
Louis considered for a moment. "And you aren't dating Niall, either, right?"
"Urgh," said Liam, pulling a face. "No!"
"I didn't think so," said Louis, giggling. "I just… Okay, just making certain. Are you dating anyone right now?"
Something a lot like hope tugged at the inside of Liam's ribs. For a minute he couldn't move, and he certainly couldn't answer. He was frozen looking at Louis's smile, the way it lit up his whole face, the way it made him the only person worth looking at in the whole house. Louis was smiling at him like Liam was someone special, and it took all of Liam's breath away.
Liam bit his lip and shook his head. "No," he said. "I'm not -"
Someone crashed into Liam's back, sending him almost over the balcony. Louis grabbed his arm. "Liam!" shouted Niall, behind him. "I found you!"
Right, right. This was why Liam had come out. He gave Louis a sideways apologetic smile, just in case they'd been about to say what Liam wanted them to have been about to say. They probably hadn't been. They probably almost certainly hadn't been. Louis smiled back brilliantly, with some kind of promise Liam couldn't read sparking in his eyes, and Liam laughed helplessly and turned to Niall.
"You're so drunk," said Liam. Niall was only barely staying upright and his face was bright red. Niall laughed, open-mouthed, and sagged against Liam's side.
"I'm so drunk!" Niall agreed. Liam wrapped his arm around Niall's waist so he wouldn't collapse on the floor. "I might be. Why are you here?"
"You called me," said Liam patiently. "I'm here to get you home alive."
"This is a great party," Niall shouted. "A fantastic party! This is an amazing party!" He threw his arms in the air and nearly knocked himself unbalanced again.
"This is why I'm here," said Liam to Louis, since he was fairly sure Niall wasn't really talking to anyone anyway. "I'm gonna take him home."
Louis was giving him the strangest look, fond and bright and something else. "Of course you are," said Louis.
"Are you drunk enough that I should worry about you, too?" Liam asked.
Louis laughed at him. "I'm absolutely fine," he said. "I'm here babysitting young Harold, who is currently running around starkers on a dare. I'm not much good as a babysitter for him, but I can hold my drinks, unlike some of our friends."
Our friends, Liam repeated to himself, and tried not to let himself dissolve into a pile of feelings. "I thought- Oh," said Liam.
"Courage in a bottle of cider," said Louis, winking.
Winking was how all this trouble had begun. Liam could feel his cheeks start to heat up, and he had no idea what they were talking about, or what Louis wanted, or if anyone was still cross with anyone for punching that had or hadn't really happened. "I'm gonna go," he said, pulling Niall with him toward the stairs. "I'll… Um, will I see you around?"
Louis grinned. "Definitely. Get home safe, Kyle."
"Kyle!" said Niall, bursting into hysterical giggles. "Kyle. Oh, this is an ace party. We smashed it tonight."
It was hard enough dragging Niall down the steps through the crowd without both of them falling and breaking their necks, but Liam risked a glance back over his shoulder. Louis was watching them, still grinning.
"Yeah," said Liam, biting the inside of his cheek to keep his smile from exploding everywhere. "An ace party."
--
It was a bright, sunny afternoon and Liam let Zayn persuade him to leave school early. It was so gorgeous outside that Liam just couldn't persuade himself that he wanted to stay and revise. The plan was to go and get some food and wait for Niall to get done with school and join them. But then Zayn saw one of the girls he'd been attempting to woo with his poetry - Liam tried not to laugh - and wandered off to chat to her, and Liam sat down on one of the benches in the town centre with his phone to kill time in the sun.
A few minutes later someone cleared his throat behind Liam's shoulder. He looked up from Twitter and there was Louis. He looked exactly like himself, but the sun was giving his hair a bit of a halo, and he was grinning like it was the best day ever.
"Fancy seeing you here," said Louis.
Liam hadn't actually heard from Louis since the party, and he wasn’t sure if Louis remembered the drunken conversation they'd had. "Hi," said Liam. It was nice his default voice sounded lecture-y instead of nervous.
Louis made a big show of looking at all the people walking past on the pavement. "I don't see Zayn or Niall. Still at school?"
"Niall is, Zayn's off talking to girls," said Liam. "I don't see Harry anywhere, either…?"
"He's got a band rehearsal." Louis had his hands behind his back, and he rocked back and forth on his heels for a minute. "Can I sit down?"
Maybe Louis remembered? Or maybe he was tired of them all not hanging out? Liam said, "Of course," and scooted over on the bench a little. Louis vaulted over the back and sat down next to him, knees drawn up and grinning like he was full of mischief. It made Liam the tiniest bit apprehensive.
Liam believed in things like 'there's no time like the present' and 'always be honest.' His heart pounded in his ears a couple of times. "I'm not dating Zayn," Liam blurted.
Louis's eyes crinkled up. "Oh, really?"
"I… I wasn't sure if you remembered, and you seemed sort of upset about it before?" Liam tried. It was possible he was making a really big idiot of himself. He dug his nails into his palms.
"I remember," said Louis. "Did you think I could forget that?" He wiggled his eyebrows and kicked his shoe against the bench.
Liam shrugged a little. "Um," he said. Louis's smile was getting increasingly focused on him, and Liam wanted that and was overwhelmed by it in equal measure. His heart was pounding again.
"It was hard to tell, is all, since he's always kissing you and crawling all over you," Louis said. He tapped his fingers quickly against his thigh, over and over.
"Yeah, but we're just mates. Zayn really likes girls, I told you. And… I mean..." Liam told himself that it was better to know, and that it was worth the risk, and a load of other things he didn't believe. "You've got someone like that too, haven't you?" His voice didn't crack and it didn't quite drop all the way to a whisper, so that was a win.
Louis stared at him for a minute. "I have," he agreed slowly. "But… Well, Harry really likes girls. I thought you knew that."
Liam's head felt a little disconnected from the rest of him, like it might float away. He couldn't tell if he was breathing too hard or not enough. "I mean, but, if I were Harry, I'd make you an exception," Liam tried to explain.
"Would you?" Louis asked, grinning again. He leaned forward, and Liam forced himself not to lean back, even though it meant Louis's face was practically touching his. Liam had got more used to that with all the playing around. "Liam Payne," said Louis, slightly teasing, "do you fancy me?"
Liam wanted to die from embarrassment, but Louis had stopped tapping his fingers and was sitting so quietly that he almost seemed like a different person. Liam was never going to get used to these moments of stillness and sincerity.
"Liam?" Louis asked, with just the slightest thread of nervousness in his voice.
"I…" said Liam. His voice collapsed out from under him. He cleared his throat and forced himself to put his chin up so he was looking at Louis, and not the bench, or the ground. "I do," said Liam. And then, just like always when he was nervous, a torrent of words followed. "But I mean, I understand that I'm not fun like Harry, and I don't play around the way you two do, and if I were best mates with Harry I'd probably-"
Louis leaned forward and kissed him. All the words died in Liam's mouth, and then all the thoughts that had been racing around his brain in little circles vanished into tiny puffs of smoke. There was nothing, there was absolutely nothing in the entire world, except Louis's mouth pressing against his. Liam was sure his heart had stopped beating, even.
Louis pulled back. "Good," he said. "What are you talking about, you're not fun?" He reached over and laced his fingers through Liam's. He'd gone from very still to absolutely restless again, wiggling and squirming and edging over so he was pressed up against Liam and his leg was hooked over Liam's and rubbing his thumb back and forth across the back of Liam's hand.
Liam couldn't think straight with that much of Louis touching him. "I don't go to parties," Liam tried.
"I've seen you at parties twice, now," said Louis. "We met at a party."
If Louis moved any closer he was going to be in Liam's lap, and Liam wasn't sure he objected. "I don't drink," Liam said.
"I know," said Louis. He tilted his head so he could kiss Liam's neck, and Liam shuddered all over. Louis made an interested humming noise.
"You can't-We're in public," Liam said, voice cracking.
Louis laughed against his neck. "People would think it was stranger if I didn't try to molest you in public, honestly." He sank his teeth into Liam's shoulder and Liam gasped and tried to wiggle away and then remembered he didn't have to do that, although maybe he still wanted to? Families pushing prams were out for strolls and there were kids bunking off school all around them.
Louis burst out laughing and sat up. "Do you know what I like about you, Liam?" Liam started to say, Honestly, no, and thought better of it. "I like that you lecture me not to go out and drink too much even though I'm older than you. I like that you sigh and clean up after Harry when he doesn't deserve it. I like that you'd go anywhere in the middle of the night to make sure that Niall is okay. I am absolutely in love with the way you blush when I bite you." Louis waggled his eyebrows meaningfully and Liam could feel himself starting to blush again. "I like that you think the best of everyone, so much so that I thought you had a very strange relationship with Zayn where he got to go out and look at girls' boobs and come home and still snog you."
"Really?" Liam asked. He wished there were any way to stop blushing, because Louis mentioning it just made it a million times worse. Except apparently Louis liked it, which was a little bit weird.
"You are just that nice," Louis said. Liam pulled a face. "Also, if Zayn isn't your boyfriend why was he so cross with me for taking you on a date?"
Liam stared at him for a second. "Was that a date?"
Louis shrugged and looked mildly embarrassed. "It was going to be. Harry thought it was a good idea. But then I couldn't do it, I thought you'd be pissed when you realized. I chickened out."
"Oh, good," said Liam. Louis gave him a puzzled look. "No, I mean, because I thought something was up, and then I got there and you just wanted to talk about pranks and Harry. It's nice to know I'm not crazy. Zayn punched you because he was drunk and he's a good friend and an idiot. I was a little… Er. I was slightly disappointed, I guess, and it upset him."
"He didn't punch me, he sort of smacked me in the ear," said Louis. "But I took his point."
"That's awful," said Liam. "I'm really sorry. He's such an idiot-"
Louis pulled Liam's hand up to his mouth and bit him on the wrist. Liam choked. Apparently he was more sensitive there than he'd expected. Louis's teeth scraping against the inside of his wrist did things to him. "I thought it was nice, actually," said Louis firmly. "The least he could do, defending your honor."
"Oh god," Liam groaned. "Don't - He wasn't defending my honor, I can defend my own honor, why is everyone always going around trying to hit people for me? I don't believe in violence unless you've tried all the other ways to work things out. And I can hit people on my own, thank you. I had boxing lessons when I was younger, I know how to-"
Louis kissed him again. This time Liam was slightly better prepared to go on with his rant, but Louis had turned so he was more or less straddling Liam, and his knee was digging into Liam's thigh, and his fingers were going to leave bruises on Liam's shoulder, and his teeth were dragging along Liam's lower lip and Liam just… Forgot to keep talking.
Eventually Liam had to breathe. He'd kissed a couple of people before and breathing hadn't been such an issue, but he had trouble remembering how to do it around Louis anyway. "Well," he said, scooting back just a bit. "Okay. I guess that’s one way to win an argument." His mouth was tingling and he was going to look wrecked by the time he got Louis off his lap. He was strangely okay with that.
"Were we arguing?" Louis asked, smiling mischievously.
"No," said Liam. "Maybe? I don't know. Did you and Harry really sit around and discuss this? I mean, me? I mean, me and Zayn?"
Louis nodded mock-seriously. "We did. We absolutely could not figure you out. You'd let Zayn crawl all over you, and when I poked you-" He demonstrated, poking Liam in the cheek. Liam laughed. "-You'd get all frozen and look really confused. Harry said it was because you had a crush on me, but I figured probably you just thought I was weird."
"Oh dear," said Liam. "It wasn't that. Well, it was a little bit that, but also Harry was right there and I was pretty sure he was your boyfriend and I didn't want to make things awkward for you."
Louis burst out laughing. Liam wondered if, now that he had gotten to kiss Louis, he could just throw himself off a cliff somewhere and save himself all future embarrassment. He leaned forward and put his forehead on Louis's shoulder so he wouldn't have to look at him while his cheeks were burning.
"That was very polite of you, Liam," said Louis. "You are the most ridiculous person I have ever met."
"True or false," Liam said, still mostly talking straight into Louis's shirt. "You and Harry snogged at a gay bar."
"Well, that is true," said Louis. "But that's just me and Harry being me and Harry. You can't go and think it means something. It's just a bit of fun." He pushed on Liam's shoulder until he sat up. Louis was smiling at him, his blinding, dazzling smile. The one that had been killing Liam quietly since long before they'd ever spoken. "I suppose if you really object I could try and snog Harry less whilst I'm drunk," Louis offered.
"No," said Liam, "that wouldn’t be very nice of me, would it?"
"Oh god, Liam, this is why all of us want to punch people who are mean to you," said Louis.
Liam had no idea what that meant, so he shrugged. "Okay," he said. Agreeing with Louis seemed easiest. And he hadn't felt this easy around Louis, ever.
Liam spotted Harry standing just on the other side of the bus stop, trying to hide behind a tree and spy on them. And that was definitely Zayn hanging off his shoulder and texting someone. Most likely Niall. Liam didn't imagine they were especially surprised that he had Louis mostly in his lap, or that they were holding hands, or that Liam was going to have another bruise on his neck. He was pleased they were hanging out to spy, actually. There was going to be so much teasing. Liam was looking forward to it.
Liam smiled apologetically up at Louis. "This has been a very productive discussion, then. I'm sorry about all the confusion. It just seemed so awkward to go up to you and say, 'So that boy you're licking, you're dating him, right?'"
"Well, I hope I am now," said Louis, laughing and licking Liam's cheek.
Liam wrinkled up his nose, but said, "Oh good. Me, too," and pulled Louis down into another kiss.
Fandom: One Direction (Liam/Louis)
Louis rang just as Liam was getting off the bus with Zayn. "Hang on," Liam said, fumbling for his mobile. "Yeah?"
"Hi," said Louis. He sounded a little subdued, enough so that Liam stopped and frowned at his phone for a second.
"You missed a hell of a party last night," Zayn said, at the same moment Louis said, "I didn't see you last night."
"Are you okay?" Liam asked. Zayn looked at him, and Liam waved a hand, trying to explain that he was talking to Louis on the phone.
Louis sighed. "I'm fine. You're with Zayn right now? Sorry, I can call you back-"
"You don't sound fine," said Liam. Zayn had started texting someone, probably Jenna, so Liam didn't feel bad about ignoring him.
"No, I'm absolutely great," said Louis, in a pale imitation of his normal perk. "I just… I thought you'd come out last night and you didn't."
"Parties, drunk people…" Liam trailed off with a little shrug. "Niall and Zayn enjoyed it."
"Yeah. No, it was fun. It was a good time. Oh, hey, what if… Um. Can I ask you something?"
There was something a little bit strange about Louis's voice, and Liam's heart began pounding in his ears without his permission. "Of course," Liam said, trying to stop himself from sounding overly serious.
Louis laughed quietly. "Oh, I was just… You know what, never mind. D'you want to do something?"
Liam wanted to know what Louis had been going to ask him, but he couldn't think of a way to say so. "Uh, let me see if Zayn is busy," he said.
"No," said Louis, and then sighed. "I mean, fine, but… Maybe don't bring him? I thought it could be just you and me, hanging out."
There was absolutely no reason for that to make Liam's heart jump into his throat. And yet it did, and he needed a second when he ducked his head and his hair fell across his face a little bit so Zayn wouldn't see his expression. "Not even Harry?" Liam asked, joking but not really joking, and he couldn't tell if his tone was right or if Louis was going to instantly know that Liam was… well. Hopeful would have been close to the right word.
"Nah, definitely not Harry. Just you and me. Tonight, maybe? We could, like, go out."
Liam stopped breathing. He doesn't mean what you think he means, he told himself sternly, but there was something so weird and tentative about Louis's tone that Liam didn’t entirely believe himself.
"You can ask me anything, you know," Liam blurted. Zayn looked up from his texting, saw Liam's face, and both his eyebrow went up immediately. Liam was definitely blushing. He ducked his head again, turning away from Zayn as much as he could manage.
"Maybe I will tonight," said Louis, a little cheekily. Liam laughed. "I'll text you, yeah? Later."
Liam clicked his mobile off. His hands were shaking. "What?" Zayn asked. "Oh my god, what?"
"Nothing," said Liam. "I mean… Maybe nothing? I don't know."
Zayn copied all of Liam's homework, and he missed jokes now and again, but he was ace at reading Liam's mind. "Louis asked you out," said Zayn, absolutely certain. "Oh, wow."
"No! He… He just said he has something to ask me. Later. Uh. Alone." Liam's cheeks hurt, they were so red. He couldn't stop smiling, he felt absolutely stupid.
Zayn grinned. "Oh, did he? That's brilliant!"
"It's probably nothing," insisted Liam.
Zayn put his arm around Liam's neck and dragged him down so he could strangle him a little. Liam laughed. "You're gonna be so cute together," said Zayn, in his fake-crying voice. Liam elbowed him in the side and tried not to let himself get too excited.
--
Louis texted Liam the name of a little restaurant in town. Liam thought about maybe changing his clothes, wearing something nicer than jogging bottoms and a t-shirt, but immediately decided it was unforgivably girly to even consider. It wasn't as if Louis were going to be taking pictures of anything. Liam tried to do some reading for general studies and then gave up and spent a couple of hours looking at stupid things on his phone to kill time.
He was absolutely not nervous and his hands weren't at all sweaty when he finally headed off to see Louis. He was humming, though, and bouncing a little bit, and when he saw Louis standing outside, with the light from the restaurant behind him making his hair glow a little, and a big smile on his face, it was possible that Liam forgot how to breathe for a moment.
"Hey," said Louis. He had a really beautiful smile; it made Liam need to smile back at him all the time.
"Hi," said Liam, biting the inside of his cheek. He could already feel his cheeks getting hot. He was ridiculous around Louis. He'd need to work on that.
"I thought we could get dinner," said Louis, jerking his head toward the restaurant.
Liam didn't say, oh my god, is this a date? because he was fairly sure he should have known whether it was one or not. There was the lingering question of Harry, of course, but as much as Liam liked Harry he couldn't bring himself to want to talk about Harry at the moment. He wanted Louis to say, "Me and Harry are just good friends, and I was hoping you and me could go out," so badly that it made his hands clench up into fists.
"Liam?" said Louis, tilting his head with a funny, fond little smile. "Dinner?"
"Oh," said Liam. "Yeah, of course, yeah."
"You were a million miles away," Louis laughed, giving Liam's cheek a little smack. Liam shook his head and huffed in mock-indignation.
The restaurant wasn't really anything fancy, it was just a bit nicer than the shops where they normally hung out, but it had tables. Most of the people sitting around were definitely on dates, which Liam tried very hard not to notice.
"You know Harry's band's got another gig?" Louis asked as they sat down.
Liam was torn between being happy for them and realizing he was going to spend the rest of his life going to shitty bars to see his friends play. "That's great for them," he said. "They sound better every time I hear them."
"Do you ever write songs?" Louis asked. "I was thinking next gig he gets, the band could bring you along, you could play, too. Beatles covers are fine, but you must be writing things, right?"
"I've got original compositions for my A-Level," Liam said, pulling a face.
"Ugh, not that. Proper songs. You must have written some."
Liam shrugged. "I have. I don't know if they're any good, and anyway, Harry's band isn't big enough to need an opening act."
"They will be," said Louis. "If we could just get Harry to stop panicking over screwing up."
Liam loved Harry, but he didn't especially want to sit around at dinner with Louis discussing him. "I don't know why he gets nervous, he's always good," said Liam.
"The thing about Harry is he's really sweet," said Louis. "He wants everyone to get on and be nice to each other. He pretends to be bad, but really he's not. That's probably why you two get on so well. You're both really good people."
"I - Oh - what?" said Liam, trying not to color.
"Really," said Louis, reaching over the table and grabbing Liam's hand. Liam had got better about that, he didn't usually go absolutely stiff when Louis did that anymore, but tonight he didn't know what to do with himself. Louis was being unusually sincere and Liam's stomach felt like it was doing backflips. "I thought you were putting it on at first, that no one could be so honestly kind, but you aren't. That's just you."
Liam felt a lot like he was going to die. "Oh," he said again, because it looked like Louis expected a response of some sort. His brain had gone entirely off-line.
Louis grinned, and pretended like he wanted to smack Liam again. Liam ducked out of the way. "I can't stand it," said Louis. "It makes me want to corrupt you terribly."
Liam's breath caught in his throat again. "You - what?" he choked.
"I'd like to muss you up and get you dirty," Louis said, smile going wicked.
It was entirely possible Liam was going to drop dead right there at the table. "You could," he mumbled. "If you'd like."
Louis laughed. "I'm working on it! See, that's why I wanted to talk to you tonight. Without anyone else here."
For a minute Liam couldn't hear over the sound of his heart, as if all the blood in his body were rushing through his ears. He felt dizzy and a little ill. When had his crush started manifesting itself like the flu, he wondered, and would it be cured if he finally just got to tell Louis how he'd felt about him for such a long time? His pulse was going so quickly that his fingers were tingling and he was a little worried he'd forget to keep breathing and just keel over.
"I want you to help me prank Harry," said Louis. "It's going to be amazing. Normally he helps me with everything, he does the videos and whatever, but I really need to prank him and get it on tape, and I want it to be something awful."
It was so completely not what Liam had been thinking Louis would say next that it took him a minute to process it. "Pranks?" he echoed, feeling dim.
"Your idea of practical jokes is terrible, I've seen it," said Louis. "You could use the practice. You and me'll make a great team; you're so nice Harry'll never expect it. We can plot out something really awful. I wonder if I can make him cry on video. I'll make it up to him later, of course. I'm not a monster."
"Oh my god," said Liam. "You just want me to help you prank Harry." It was a fundamentally stupid thing to say, but Liam felt awfully stupid at the moment. He had the sensation that he was actually crashing through the floor, could feel the horrible plummet in his stomach as if he'd tripped and fallen.
"I don't think Zayn can keep a secret," said Louis, "and Niall'd give it away by giggling. But you should make an excellent henchman." He made finger guns and pointed at Liam.
A waitress came over and asked what they'd like to eat. Liam must have mumbled something because she went away again, but honestly he felt like if he ate anything he'd throw it up straight away. Louis went on with his plans for pranking Harry, animatedly waving his arms around and making noises to illustrate each step, and Liam tried to listen, but his brain was full of fuzzy noises like a badly-tuned radio.
The worst part was it was entirely down to Liam that he felt so terrible. Because Louis hadn't done or said anything, and Liam had started to… He'd let himself… Anyway, it was stupid, and he was an idiot, and every miserable feeling he was having was his own fault. Louis had been nice, but Louis was always nice, and Louis just wanted to chat about Harry, because of course Louis did.
Louis thought of Liam exactly how Liam had suspected; Liam was dependable, which meant dull. Liam didn't know how to do pranks properly, which also meant dull. Liam was just the guy who missed out on parties and could hold a video camera steady while Louis teased someone much more fun than Liam was.
Louis stopped halfway through a sentence to frown at Liam. "Are you alright?"
Liam nodded and tried to put on a smile. He didn't give himself any allowances for feeling sorry for himself, not when he'd worked himself up over nothing and then had to deal with the consequences. "I'm fine," he said. "What'll you do next?"
Louis looked doubtful, but went on. "Well, that's why I need the duct tape," he said. "Are you certain you're okay? You look a little… Weird."
At least he hadn't said anything. It could have been so much worse if Liam had actually said, "Is this a date?" out loud. Or anything, really. Liam was going to need a couple of days to deal with his disappointment and all these terrible, awful, painful feelings bubbling around in his stomach, and then he'd be fine.
Maybe he'd need more like a week. A week without seeing Louis smile at Harry, and a week without Louis jumping all over him.
…maybe a month. If Liam could manage a month without running in to Louis he was positive he'd be fine again. Completely able to carry on a normal conversation like typical friends. Maybe even able to deal with some of his dreadful jealousy of Harry.
Louis was looking at him, with his concerned face and his big eyes and his swoopy hair, and he was so attractive that it made the awful, crushing feeling in Liam's chest worse. Louis had these moments of stillness sometimes, when Liam could see that the goofiness and the silly voices were all just put on for other people's benefit, when Louis was afraid someone was bored, or wouldn't like him, or might be sad. Some of it was Louis's real restlessness, but so much of it was just Louis being generous with his attention and his energy, and the idea of Louis being kind at the moment made Liam positive he was about to throw up.
"I might have the flu," Liam said suddenly. Louis tilted his head and frowned quizzically. "Ruth had it, and the baby's got it, so… I might be getting ill," said Liam. He wasn't a fantastic liar, but he apparently looked as bad as he felt.
"Okay," said Louis, nodding slowly.
"I should probably go home, god, I don't want to get you ill, too," said Liam. He tried to stand up and push his chair in at the same time he looked for his wallet, and he ended up knocking the chair over instead, fumbling everything everywhere.
"Jesus, Liam, what's your problem?" Louis asked, getting up to help him. Louis's hands brushed Liam's and it felt like an electric shock. Liam recoiled, flinching like he hadn't since the first time Louis had unexpectedly bitten him. He banged into the table and their water spilled everywhere, drenching Louis's chair.
"Sorry, sorry," Liam said, but the more Louis was helpful the more Liam felt like he'd been kicked in the stomach. He wasn't going to cry, at least; that would have been really difficult to explain. "Tell me about the… About the prank later, yeah? I'm going to run home."
Louis looked disappointed. It was awful. "You've got food coming."
"No, I-Here." Liam grabbed a note without looking at it and shoved it on the table, then realized it was going to get wet and tried to pick it up again. He ended up with damp spots on his t-shirt and a soggy note and Louis staring at him as if he were an alien. Liam made himself stop and take a deep breath before he upended the table and Louis realized he was actually having a breakdown. "Sorry, here, this is for whatever I ordered. Just - text me about the prank. Or actually, don't. I don’t think I'd be very helpful, I'm not funny. I'm clearly not the person you should have help you with this. Get Niall to do it, he's hilarious. He'd be better. He's a much better choice, really, overall." Liam clamped down on his tendency to start babbling and lecturing when he was upset. "I'm going home. G'night."
"Liam, what on earth is wrong with you?" Louis asked, still half-teasing.
Liam tried a smile, tried a shrug, and came away feeling even more like he'd fallen out of a plane without a parachute. He knew he looked like an absolute crazy person, running out before dinner even started, but he couldn't sit there in a restaurant surrounded by couples on a date, and look at Louis all night. He just couldn't. Liam turned on his heel and fled, leaving Louis shaking his head curiously behind him.
--
It would have been fine, Liam believed, except Niall and Zayn decided to surprise him by popping by at an odd hour the next day. Liam had successfully avoided them by actually bunking off school for once. He faked being sick and stayed in bed straight through until his mum shouted, "Liam, the boys are here!" She hadn't really believed he was ill anyway.
He went downstairs and tried to paste on a happy face for Zayn and Niall. Niall immediately blinked at him suspiciously. It was terrible, having friends who knew you so well, and also Liam was aware he didn't lie very well. And then Zayn elbowed him and grinned and said, "Well? Was it amazing? Did he kiss you? Did you skip school to hide the hickeys?"
Niall said indignantly, "Why wasn't I told? I'm supposed to be told about these things!" They both looked at him expectantly.
Liam had a double problem; that he couldn't fake being happy very well, and that he was an idiot who had set himself up for disappointment. "It was just Louis wanting to chat about Harry," he said, shrugging one shoulder and trying to smile.
Zayn dragged him onto the couch. "But… He was all mysterious."
"No, I just misunderstood him. Can we talk about something else?"
"Hang on a mo," said Niall. "He asked you out to dinner to talk about Harry? That's fucked up. Was it like, an invitation to a threesome?"
Liam was a little worried his mum could hear all this from the kitchen. "No," he said. He made himself smile because none of this was Louis's fault, so it wasn't fair to say anything. It was slightly more painful than the time he'd fallen out of a tree, though. "How was school today?"
"If it wasn't a date why did Louis want to talk to you alone?" Zayn asked. He frowned. "Was he just being a jerk?"
"No," said Liam, a little more forcefully than he needed to. "Louis's not a jerk, I'm just an absolute idiot. He wanted to play a prank on Harry and have me help. Can we drop it, please?"
Zayn leaned around him to frown at Niall, who also looked a bit annoyed. "That's pretty shit," said Niall. "Acting like it was a big deal and then having it be nothing."
"He didn't - He wasn't -"
"I mean, let's face it. He knows you fancy him. Sorry, Li, but it's seventeen kinds of obvious," said Zayn. He sounded genuinely apologetic, which didn't especially help. Liam wished he were dead. "It's all over your face. Just like right now you look miserable."
"If he's just fucking with you, I'll punch him in the face," Niall said. "I've done it before, you know."
The idea that Louis knew was so awful that Liam sank right back into the misery of the night before as if he were realizing all over again. "No," he said unconvincingly. "He just… He wanted to talk pranks because mine are crap, obviously, and he wishes I were more fun. It's not-"
"Did he say that?" Zayn demanded.
Had he? Liam remembered him saying something like that. "Sort of?" Liam settled on. "Not in a mean way. I'm just… I'm not his type, anyway, and maybe he did know I… That I… I mean, maybe he was just letting me know that he doesn't fancy me. That's fine, I knew that, I knew about Harry."
"I'll punch his head off," said Niall.
Liam had the best and simultaneously worst friends ever. "No!" he said. "Niall, seriously, you can't. It wasn't him, it was all me. I just thought… I just stupidly thought maybe…" He couldn't swallow and he couldn't finish the sentence. Liam also couldn't handle the sheer amount of pity on Niall and Zayn's faces so he stared at his socks, instead.
"Oh god, Liam, you should see your face," said Zayn, pulling him in to a hug.
Liam said, "Life is full of disappointment, right?" but it mostly got swallowed by Zayn's jumper. Zayn hugged him harder, fingers tangled in the back of Liam's t-shirt.
"I like Louis a lot," said Niall loudly, "but if he told you that load of shite I'll absolutely kill him. And then he can apologize and we'll go out for a pint and it'll be fine! But first I'm gonna kill him."
"No," said Liam, trying to pull away from Zayn. Zayn kept his arms round Liam's waist, which he didn't actually object to. "Niall, you can't. He'll hate me. He'll hate all of us, and anyway Louis didn't do anything. Promise me you won't. I'm not ten anymore; I can fight my own battles."
"You could, but you never do," Niall grumbled. He relented with a sigh. "Fine. I promise. If you say it's not his fault-"
"It wasn't," Liam said firmly. "Just mine. I'm an idiot."
"You're only an idiot for calling yourself an idiot," Zayn said. "What sort of arsehole invites people out for private dinners to talk about a prank? He must have been winding you up for a laugh. Are you sure he wasn't filming it?"
It was such a horrible thought that Liam couldn't even consider it. Anyway, Louis had been a little quieter than usual, and so much more serious. He hadn't sounded like he was taking the piss when he told Liam that he was a good person. "No," Liam said. "It wasn't a prank on me. I'd kill him myself."
"You wouldn't, though," said Zayn fondly, hooking his chin over Liam's shoulder.
Liam sighed a little. He wouldn't. He still liked Louis too much, even if it was something that made him feel hopeless, now, and all empty inside where his heart should have been. "I just should have known, really," Liam said.
"You keep making that face, Payne, I'm gonna punch him anyway," Niall threatened. "Now what food have you got? Where's your mum?"
Liam laughed. "In the kitchen. She heard you come in, don't worry."
Niall lit up. "I love your mum," he said, jumping off the couch. "Snacks'll fix everything."
"I'm just never gonna speak to Louis again," Liam mumbled to Zayn. "That's a good plan, right?"
"Absolutely," Zayn lied, and Liam tried to let himself believe it.
--
It wasn't actually hard to avoid Louis for a couple of days; Liam just went straight home after school, didn't show up to Nelson's, and spent the weekend at home. Niall and Zayn kept following him home, as if they were worried he'd crack into a million little pieces if he were left on his own. It was very kind, but also made it impossible for Liam to get any revising or work done. Saturday night they went out to drink without him, but that was entirely normal.
It hadn't occurred to Liam to worry that they might run into Harry and Louis while they were out until his phone buzzed with a text, and then another, and then another, until it was buzzing so furiously it might as well have been ringing. Liam had been half-heartedly trying to sleep, but he got up to check his phone.
From Niall 10:53
o shit it wasnt me i swer
From Niall 10:55
DONT B MAD @ US THEY STRTED IT
From Niall 10:55
he was smyling and zayn , got mad , i t wasn me
From Niall 10:56
Zayn is drunk , i think
From Niall 10:56
me to
From Niall 10:56
r u up?
From Niall 10:57
r u up???
From Niall 10:58
why arent yu up?
From Niall 10:58
LIAM
From Niall 10:59
LIAMMMMMMM
From Zayn 11:00
Sorry x X x I love you x X
Liam was slightly terrified of calling Niall back. "What happened?" he asked, not even pretending to be polite.
"I promised I wouldn't and I didn't!" Niall said loudly. They were obviously outside a pub; Liam could hear music and shouting and cars.
"What are we discussing?" Liam asked grimly.
Niall sounded absolutely pissed. "We walked in and Louis was there and first thing, right, very first thing he says is, 'Does Liam know that wasn't a date?' And maybe me and Zayn already had a couple on the way over, but his tone was out of line."
Liam winced. "Oh, god," he said. "It's fine, it's okay, I already knew I made an idiot out of myself." It wasn't okay, Liam's stomach felt like it was full of lead, but he didn't like to complain.
Niall made an awkward, unhappy little noise. "Well, it might have been okay, except Zayn suddenly decided it was his job to clock Louis in the face."
Liam tried to gasp and shout at the same time and ended up choking on nothing and spluttering into the phone for a minute. "What?" he shouted finally. "Zayn did what?"
"That's a lie!" Zayn shouted from somewhere behind Niall, and Liam could hear what sounded like a little scuffle.
"S'not a lie, Zayn tried to punch Louis in the gob. Only you know Zayn, he's about as good at punching people as a wet noodle would be. He really more just… I mean, sort of, like, you know." Liam imagined Niall was flailing a bit on the other end of the phone to demonstrate.
Liam had to hide his face against a pillow for a minute. It was fine; he could hear Niall and Zayn arguing drunkenly with each other.
Zayn had punched Louis in the face.
Louis was worried Liam thought that might have been a date.
Liam seriously considered moving to Madagascar and starting a new life with… With… With a mustache or something. A mustache and a one-eyed dog, and Liam would build himself a cabin and live in the jungle and have no electricity or contact with the outside world again, ever.
"Liam?" Niall said. "You okay?"
"No," said Liam, behind the pillow. "Now I don't just have to avoid him for a few weeks, I have to avoid him for the rest of my life."
"Nah, we'll all forget about it and hang out again eventually," said Niall, sounding uncertain. "We'll have a drink, we'll clown around, it'll be fine. He ought to be cross with Zayn, anyway, not with you."
"Give the phone to Zayn. I need to talk to him," said Liam.
There was more shouting and a little bit of the phone being dropped, and then Zayn said, "Before you say anything! It was an accident."
"How do you hit someone in the face by accident?" Liam demanded. He was trying to work himself up to cross with Zayn, but Liam had a hard time being cross with anyone, ever.
"I just wanted to knock that smirk off his face, he was making fun of you," said Zayn. "Sorry. I knew Niall promised not to-"
"I didn't want either one of you to - Jesus Christ," said Liam.
He swore so rarely that Zayn actually didn't reply for a minute. "I'm sorry," Zayn said again, finally
"No," said Liam. He flopped over backward on his bed. "Remember when I'd never spoken to Louis, and we didn't have any problems, and you'd never hit anyone in the face? I know exactly where it all went wrong. I should have just never started talking to him and Harry." Liam tried to wish that it had all never happened, but he couldn't; he'd had too much fun with Louis and Harry and all five of them spending time at the bungalow and being ridiculous. It had been really amazing. And now he could never, ever go back there.
Zayn shouted and then Niall reappeared on the phone. "Zayn didn't mean it," he said. "Don't be cross. We'll take Louis out for a pint in a week or two, he'll forget all about it."
Louis would forget about getting hit, but he wouldn't forget that he thought Liam was an idiot. "Yeah," said Liam. He rubbed his forehead with one hand, planning his escape to live all on his own on an island with no mobile reception. "That sounds good."
--
Avoiding Louis and Harry got a lot easier after that, since Niall and Zayn were helping.
--
Football was less fun with just Niall than Liam remembered, and going to the chip shop was a lot quieter without Louis throwing food at everyone, or Harry getting kicked out for pulling people's trousers down. Liam had more time to get his revising done and do his reading and essays for his music exams, but mostly he didn't. Mostly he didn't do much of anything.
--
Two and a half weeks later Liam was home, alone, clicking through Cracked articles on a Saturday night while Niall and Zayn went to a party for someone that Niall had met once and instantly become mates with. Zayn had pouted at him a bit, claiming he'd be lonely and shy without Liam there. Liam laughed and ignored him.
A little after midnight, when Liam was starting to think about maybe going to bed, Niall called. "I'm drunk," he said loudly. "Hullo."
"Hi," said Liam. "What else is new?"
"No, I'm… I'm really… Hey, where are you?"
"I'm at home," said Liam patiently. "How drunk are you?"
"I'm not drunk!" Niall said, and giggled, and dropped the phone. Liam listened to general party noise for a minute, shook his head a little, and started pulling out his trainers and a sweatshirt because clearly he needed to go and get Niall.
"Hello?" said a girl's voice. "Whose phone is this?"
"The drunk blond fellow with the Irish accent," said Liam. This wasn't the first time this had happened.
After a minute Niall's voice came back. "Liam!" he said. "Liam, Zayn's abandoned me for that girl who's always taking her kit off. I think I'm drunk."
"Yeah," said Liam fondly. "I got that. Are you at Eric's? I can be there in twenty minutes."
"But you hate parties," said Niall. "Oh god, I'm gonna throw up. 'Scuse me."
Liam clicked his phone off and stuffed it in his pocket. He'd rescued Niall from drunkenly stumbling home through traffic a couple of times. It made him feel needed, which was nice.
Luckily Eric lived close enough that Liam could jog over there in a few minutes. Once he'd had to wake his parents up to get a lift to go and get Niall, and they'd all got a lot of stern parental looks and disappointed lectures for a couple of days. Liam needed to find some time to start taking driving lessons so he could pick up Zayn and Niall when they got drunk at parties.
It was a nice night for a jog, cool but not cold, not too dark on the streets, not too many people out and screaming. It was easy to find Eric's party; his house was lit up like Christmas, with drunk students snogging and groping all along the pavement. Liam wasn't exactly sure how he'd find Niall, but he assumed Niall would be in there and loud enough to find if Liam just looked around a bit. He pushed his way in through a crowd of people he mostly recognized from school. There was a thumping stereo playing somewhere, making the walls shake, and half the furniture had been upended. Probably Liam should look for Zayn, too; whoever this girl was, Zayn was probably too drunk to do anything fun with her.
A drunk girl grabbed Liam and tried to kiss him; he laughed and shrugged her off and shoved his way into the kitchen. He was taller than most of the people there, but not tall enough to see Niall anywhere. Liam pushed his way through and around again. Someone shouted, "Whoo!" at him and Liam shouted it back, waving his arms a little. At least it seemed like a fun party, even if it was completely mad.
Liam managed to squeeze through to the stairs, which were also full of people. If he got to the top he could look around for Niall; that might save some time. It was hard getting past all the couples groping each other on the steps, and hard to see anything over all the waving arms and people jumping on each other.
Liam leaned over the balcony at the top of the steps, looking for Niall. He didn't see him, so it was possible Niall had curled up in a corner somewhere and was napping. Someone bumped in to Liam and offered him a bottle; Liam shook his head. It was quieter upstairs, at least, although still ear-splittingly loud. Liam was a little surprised Niall hadn't been trampled.
Someone else banged in to Liam and then grabbed his arm. "Hey," said Louis. "Liam! Hey, Liam!"
Liam froze. His heart dropped straight through his feet. When he turned to look Louis was looking at him, curious and really drunk. Louis smiled a little tentatively. "I thought you hated parties!"
"I do," said Liam. "I'm looking for Niall. I'm… I'm really sorry about Zayn." He bit his lip. His whole chest hurt.
Louis grimaced.
"I'm so sorry," Liam repeated. He was pretty sure Louis was too drunk to remember any of this later, but just in case he never ran into Louis again he wanted to say it. "It was all my fault, I know that, I shouldn’t have said anything to either of them and I shouldn't have assumed-"
The crowd upstairs surged a little bit, shoving Louis closer to Liam. Liam was holding on to the banister with one hand and Louis's hand fell on top of his. Their shoulders bumped a little. Liam felt achy and miserable all over.
"I'm really drunk!" Louis said. He didn't need to shout anymore, they were close enough that Liam could hear him over the music.
"I know," said Liam. He sighed. "I should go-"
"I mean," Louis said, pressing a little bit closer, "I'm drunk enough that I can forget I said this in the morning, okay? We can pretend this never happened. But I just need to tell you something."
"Don't," said Liam. Last time it had ended so badly, and he just wanted to go home without screwing anything up even worse. He tried to avoid Louis's gaze but there weren't a lot of other places to look.
Louis pulled a face. "I know, but I have to!" He took a deep breath, psyching himself up for something difficult. Liam did not want to hear whatever it was, and couldn't keep the cringe off his face. "I just want to say that you can do better than Zayn!"
That… That was not even on the same planet as what Liam had been bracing himself for. "What?" he said.
"I think you deserve better," Louis said. He winced, then blurted, "I like Zayn! He's a great mate but he's an awful boyfriend, and you deserve better, Liam."
"I'm sorry?" Liam said. Maybe he'd got some kind of contact drunk from being at the party; he had no idea what Louis was talking about.
"You're too nice," said Louis, squeezing Liam's hand. "It's not fair; he gets to go off and shag whoever he wants. I'm sorry I made him cross, I swear it wasn't really supposed to be a date, I just… I just really like you, and you're too nice, Liam, and you deserve someone who only wants you."
"What are you talking about?" Liam asked. It was possible he was shouting a little, but he was honestly confused. "Zayn is not my boyfriend!"
Louis blinked at him. "Well… Good," he said, looking confused, too.
"Why would you think Zayn is my boyfriend?" Liam demanded. He felt like he and Louis were having entirely different conversations.
"He's always touching you and kissing you and you won't go anywhere without him," Louis said. "I just… Me and Harry thought-"
"No," said Liam, a little more forcefully than he needed to. "Absolutely not. I love Zayn but I wouldn't date him. He likes girls!"
"Well, his Facebook status is 'It's Complicated,'" said Louis, looking uncomfortable. "We just thought… We talked about it a lot. Christ, I'm pissed, did I mention?"
"Yeah," said Liam. He wanted to laugh but he wasn't sure it was entirely appropriate. "You've thought Zayn was my boyfriend this whole time?"
A tiny smile tugged at the corner of Louis's mouth, and Liam smiled back, because he always had to smile back at Louis. "You're not dating Zayn," said Louis.
"No," said Liam, shaking his head.
Louis considered for a moment. "And you aren't dating Niall, either, right?"
"Urgh," said Liam, pulling a face. "No!"
"I didn't think so," said Louis, giggling. "I just… Okay, just making certain. Are you dating anyone right now?"
Something a lot like hope tugged at the inside of Liam's ribs. For a minute he couldn't move, and he certainly couldn't answer. He was frozen looking at Louis's smile, the way it lit up his whole face, the way it made him the only person worth looking at in the whole house. Louis was smiling at him like Liam was someone special, and it took all of Liam's breath away.
Liam bit his lip and shook his head. "No," he said. "I'm not -"
Someone crashed into Liam's back, sending him almost over the balcony. Louis grabbed his arm. "Liam!" shouted Niall, behind him. "I found you!"
Right, right. This was why Liam had come out. He gave Louis a sideways apologetic smile, just in case they'd been about to say what Liam wanted them to have been about to say. They probably hadn't been. They probably almost certainly hadn't been. Louis smiled back brilliantly, with some kind of promise Liam couldn't read sparking in his eyes, and Liam laughed helplessly and turned to Niall.
"You're so drunk," said Liam. Niall was only barely staying upright and his face was bright red. Niall laughed, open-mouthed, and sagged against Liam's side.
"I'm so drunk!" Niall agreed. Liam wrapped his arm around Niall's waist so he wouldn't collapse on the floor. "I might be. Why are you here?"
"You called me," said Liam patiently. "I'm here to get you home alive."
"This is a great party," Niall shouted. "A fantastic party! This is an amazing party!" He threw his arms in the air and nearly knocked himself unbalanced again.
"This is why I'm here," said Liam to Louis, since he was fairly sure Niall wasn't really talking to anyone anyway. "I'm gonna take him home."
Louis was giving him the strangest look, fond and bright and something else. "Of course you are," said Louis.
"Are you drunk enough that I should worry about you, too?" Liam asked.
Louis laughed at him. "I'm absolutely fine," he said. "I'm here babysitting young Harold, who is currently running around starkers on a dare. I'm not much good as a babysitter for him, but I can hold my drinks, unlike some of our friends."
Our friends, Liam repeated to himself, and tried not to let himself dissolve into a pile of feelings. "I thought- Oh," said Liam.
"Courage in a bottle of cider," said Louis, winking.
Winking was how all this trouble had begun. Liam could feel his cheeks start to heat up, and he had no idea what they were talking about, or what Louis wanted, or if anyone was still cross with anyone for punching that had or hadn't really happened. "I'm gonna go," he said, pulling Niall with him toward the stairs. "I'll… Um, will I see you around?"
Louis grinned. "Definitely. Get home safe, Kyle."
"Kyle!" said Niall, bursting into hysterical giggles. "Kyle. Oh, this is an ace party. We smashed it tonight."
It was hard enough dragging Niall down the steps through the crowd without both of them falling and breaking their necks, but Liam risked a glance back over his shoulder. Louis was watching them, still grinning.
"Yeah," said Liam, biting the inside of his cheek to keep his smile from exploding everywhere. "An ace party."
--
It was a bright, sunny afternoon and Liam let Zayn persuade him to leave school early. It was so gorgeous outside that Liam just couldn't persuade himself that he wanted to stay and revise. The plan was to go and get some food and wait for Niall to get done with school and join them. But then Zayn saw one of the girls he'd been attempting to woo with his poetry - Liam tried not to laugh - and wandered off to chat to her, and Liam sat down on one of the benches in the town centre with his phone to kill time in the sun.
A few minutes later someone cleared his throat behind Liam's shoulder. He looked up from Twitter and there was Louis. He looked exactly like himself, but the sun was giving his hair a bit of a halo, and he was grinning like it was the best day ever.
"Fancy seeing you here," said Louis.
Liam hadn't actually heard from Louis since the party, and he wasn’t sure if Louis remembered the drunken conversation they'd had. "Hi," said Liam. It was nice his default voice sounded lecture-y instead of nervous.
Louis made a big show of looking at all the people walking past on the pavement. "I don't see Zayn or Niall. Still at school?"
"Niall is, Zayn's off talking to girls," said Liam. "I don't see Harry anywhere, either…?"
"He's got a band rehearsal." Louis had his hands behind his back, and he rocked back and forth on his heels for a minute. "Can I sit down?"
Maybe Louis remembered? Or maybe he was tired of them all not hanging out? Liam said, "Of course," and scooted over on the bench a little. Louis vaulted over the back and sat down next to him, knees drawn up and grinning like he was full of mischief. It made Liam the tiniest bit apprehensive.
Liam believed in things like 'there's no time like the present' and 'always be honest.' His heart pounded in his ears a couple of times. "I'm not dating Zayn," Liam blurted.
Louis's eyes crinkled up. "Oh, really?"
"I… I wasn't sure if you remembered, and you seemed sort of upset about it before?" Liam tried. It was possible he was making a really big idiot of himself. He dug his nails into his palms.
"I remember," said Louis. "Did you think I could forget that?" He wiggled his eyebrows and kicked his shoe against the bench.
Liam shrugged a little. "Um," he said. Louis's smile was getting increasingly focused on him, and Liam wanted that and was overwhelmed by it in equal measure. His heart was pounding again.
"It was hard to tell, is all, since he's always kissing you and crawling all over you," Louis said. He tapped his fingers quickly against his thigh, over and over.
"Yeah, but we're just mates. Zayn really likes girls, I told you. And… I mean..." Liam told himself that it was better to know, and that it was worth the risk, and a load of other things he didn't believe. "You've got someone like that too, haven't you?" His voice didn't crack and it didn't quite drop all the way to a whisper, so that was a win.
Louis stared at him for a minute. "I have," he agreed slowly. "But… Well, Harry really likes girls. I thought you knew that."
Liam's head felt a little disconnected from the rest of him, like it might float away. He couldn't tell if he was breathing too hard or not enough. "I mean, but, if I were Harry, I'd make you an exception," Liam tried to explain.
"Would you?" Louis asked, grinning again. He leaned forward, and Liam forced himself not to lean back, even though it meant Louis's face was practically touching his. Liam had got more used to that with all the playing around. "Liam Payne," said Louis, slightly teasing, "do you fancy me?"
Liam wanted to die from embarrassment, but Louis had stopped tapping his fingers and was sitting so quietly that he almost seemed like a different person. Liam was never going to get used to these moments of stillness and sincerity.
"Liam?" Louis asked, with just the slightest thread of nervousness in his voice.
"I…" said Liam. His voice collapsed out from under him. He cleared his throat and forced himself to put his chin up so he was looking at Louis, and not the bench, or the ground. "I do," said Liam. And then, just like always when he was nervous, a torrent of words followed. "But I mean, I understand that I'm not fun like Harry, and I don't play around the way you two do, and if I were best mates with Harry I'd probably-"
Louis leaned forward and kissed him. All the words died in Liam's mouth, and then all the thoughts that had been racing around his brain in little circles vanished into tiny puffs of smoke. There was nothing, there was absolutely nothing in the entire world, except Louis's mouth pressing against his. Liam was sure his heart had stopped beating, even.
Louis pulled back. "Good," he said. "What are you talking about, you're not fun?" He reached over and laced his fingers through Liam's. He'd gone from very still to absolutely restless again, wiggling and squirming and edging over so he was pressed up against Liam and his leg was hooked over Liam's and rubbing his thumb back and forth across the back of Liam's hand.
Liam couldn't think straight with that much of Louis touching him. "I don't go to parties," Liam tried.
"I've seen you at parties twice, now," said Louis. "We met at a party."
If Louis moved any closer he was going to be in Liam's lap, and Liam wasn't sure he objected. "I don't drink," Liam said.
"I know," said Louis. He tilted his head so he could kiss Liam's neck, and Liam shuddered all over. Louis made an interested humming noise.
"You can't-We're in public," Liam said, voice cracking.
Louis laughed against his neck. "People would think it was stranger if I didn't try to molest you in public, honestly." He sank his teeth into Liam's shoulder and Liam gasped and tried to wiggle away and then remembered he didn't have to do that, although maybe he still wanted to? Families pushing prams were out for strolls and there were kids bunking off school all around them.
Louis burst out laughing and sat up. "Do you know what I like about you, Liam?" Liam started to say, Honestly, no, and thought better of it. "I like that you lecture me not to go out and drink too much even though I'm older than you. I like that you sigh and clean up after Harry when he doesn't deserve it. I like that you'd go anywhere in the middle of the night to make sure that Niall is okay. I am absolutely in love with the way you blush when I bite you." Louis waggled his eyebrows meaningfully and Liam could feel himself starting to blush again. "I like that you think the best of everyone, so much so that I thought you had a very strange relationship with Zayn where he got to go out and look at girls' boobs and come home and still snog you."
"Really?" Liam asked. He wished there were any way to stop blushing, because Louis mentioning it just made it a million times worse. Except apparently Louis liked it, which was a little bit weird.
"You are just that nice," Louis said. Liam pulled a face. "Also, if Zayn isn't your boyfriend why was he so cross with me for taking you on a date?"
Liam stared at him for a second. "Was that a date?"
Louis shrugged and looked mildly embarrassed. "It was going to be. Harry thought it was a good idea. But then I couldn't do it, I thought you'd be pissed when you realized. I chickened out."
"Oh, good," said Liam. Louis gave him a puzzled look. "No, I mean, because I thought something was up, and then I got there and you just wanted to talk about pranks and Harry. It's nice to know I'm not crazy. Zayn punched you because he was drunk and he's a good friend and an idiot. I was a little… Er. I was slightly disappointed, I guess, and it upset him."
"He didn't punch me, he sort of smacked me in the ear," said Louis. "But I took his point."
"That's awful," said Liam. "I'm really sorry. He's such an idiot-"
Louis pulled Liam's hand up to his mouth and bit him on the wrist. Liam choked. Apparently he was more sensitive there than he'd expected. Louis's teeth scraping against the inside of his wrist did things to him. "I thought it was nice, actually," said Louis firmly. "The least he could do, defending your honor."
"Oh god," Liam groaned. "Don't - He wasn't defending my honor, I can defend my own honor, why is everyone always going around trying to hit people for me? I don't believe in violence unless you've tried all the other ways to work things out. And I can hit people on my own, thank you. I had boxing lessons when I was younger, I know how to-"
Louis kissed him again. This time Liam was slightly better prepared to go on with his rant, but Louis had turned so he was more or less straddling Liam, and his knee was digging into Liam's thigh, and his fingers were going to leave bruises on Liam's shoulder, and his teeth were dragging along Liam's lower lip and Liam just… Forgot to keep talking.
Eventually Liam had to breathe. He'd kissed a couple of people before and breathing hadn't been such an issue, but he had trouble remembering how to do it around Louis anyway. "Well," he said, scooting back just a bit. "Okay. I guess that’s one way to win an argument." His mouth was tingling and he was going to look wrecked by the time he got Louis off his lap. He was strangely okay with that.
"Were we arguing?" Louis asked, smiling mischievously.
"No," said Liam. "Maybe? I don't know. Did you and Harry really sit around and discuss this? I mean, me? I mean, me and Zayn?"
Louis nodded mock-seriously. "We did. We absolutely could not figure you out. You'd let Zayn crawl all over you, and when I poked you-" He demonstrated, poking Liam in the cheek. Liam laughed. "-You'd get all frozen and look really confused. Harry said it was because you had a crush on me, but I figured probably you just thought I was weird."
"Oh dear," said Liam. "It wasn't that. Well, it was a little bit that, but also Harry was right there and I was pretty sure he was your boyfriend and I didn't want to make things awkward for you."
Louis burst out laughing. Liam wondered if, now that he had gotten to kiss Louis, he could just throw himself off a cliff somewhere and save himself all future embarrassment. He leaned forward and put his forehead on Louis's shoulder so he wouldn't have to look at him while his cheeks were burning.
"That was very polite of you, Liam," said Louis. "You are the most ridiculous person I have ever met."
"True or false," Liam said, still mostly talking straight into Louis's shirt. "You and Harry snogged at a gay bar."
"Well, that is true," said Louis. "But that's just me and Harry being me and Harry. You can't go and think it means something. It's just a bit of fun." He pushed on Liam's shoulder until he sat up. Louis was smiling at him, his blinding, dazzling smile. The one that had been killing Liam quietly since long before they'd ever spoken. "I suppose if you really object I could try and snog Harry less whilst I'm drunk," Louis offered.
"No," said Liam, "that wouldn’t be very nice of me, would it?"
"Oh god, Liam, this is why all of us want to punch people who are mean to you," said Louis.
Liam had no idea what that meant, so he shrugged. "Okay," he said. Agreeing with Louis seemed easiest. And he hadn't felt this easy around Louis, ever.
Liam spotted Harry standing just on the other side of the bus stop, trying to hide behind a tree and spy on them. And that was definitely Zayn hanging off his shoulder and texting someone. Most likely Niall. Liam didn't imagine they were especially surprised that he had Louis mostly in his lap, or that they were holding hands, or that Liam was going to have another bruise on his neck. He was pleased they were hanging out to spy, actually. There was going to be so much teasing. Liam was looking forward to it.
Liam smiled apologetically up at Louis. "This has been a very productive discussion, then. I'm sorry about all the confusion. It just seemed so awkward to go up to you and say, 'So that boy you're licking, you're dating him, right?'"
"Well, I hope I am now," said Louis, laughing and licking Liam's cheek.
Liam wrinkled up his nose, but said, "Oh good. Me, too," and pulled Louis down into another kiss.