And I Do Appreciate (You Bein’ Round): American Idol (Kris/Katy and Adam)
File this under "Things I did not expect to happen, but oh, look at that!" 9,000 words and change. Whoops?
Title: And I Do Appreciate (You Bein’ Round)
Fandom: American Idol 8 (Kris/Katy Allen and Adam Lambert)
Vaguely future fic. Katy's pregnant, something goes wrong, and Adam wants to help.
Gen (some kissing) curtainfic
Because Elucreh said, “Oh boy, you know what would fit that bingo prompt perfectly?” and she was right. Written for the hc_bingo prompt "Difficult Pregnancy," and I've decided to cheat and also make it for the schmoop_bingo prompt "Sick in Bed." Because my hc ends up schmoopy anyway, I can't help it.
Thanks to the email chain for cheerleading and support. Any mistakes are totally my fault. ♥
Disclaimer: This is not really about Adam, Kris, or Katy; this is speculation based on what characters modeled after them might be like. If you happen to be any of them or know any of them, please don't read this.
Katy's mother in law was the sweetest woman in the world, and Katy was going to kill her. Then her own mother. Then her aunt. Then all of Kris's aunts. Then all of their neighbors, the ladies from the library, the entire staff of Kris's elementary school, and nice Mr. Jackson, who'd given Kris viola lessons for a month and a half in eighth grade.
"Baby," said Kris, "I tried kicking them out. You have to believe me."
"Try harder," said Katy, and then she plastered on another smile because someone else had brought home-baked banana bread and then come up to the bedroom where she was trapped on mandatory medical bed rest to tell her how brave she was and how well she was holding up. Katy could survive two more months. She'd survived the first two weeks. She was determined.
Their kitchen was stuffed full of well-meaning casseroles and flowers delivered from every person Kris or Katy had ever met. Kris's mother had cleaned the living room three times and started a project to rearrange the kitchen cupboards. Katy's mom had taken it upon herself to start "fixing up" the closets. By the time Katy had the baby and could see her house again she wasn't going to be able to find anything.
She wanted to be mad at Kris, but he'd tried a couple of times to get everyone to leave. His parents and in-laws had run right over him, reassuring him that they "understood" what having a first child was like and were just gonna keep helping out. Kris could charm America into voting for him, but he couldn't charm their parents out of being kind. It wasn't his fault.
Katy found that she'd tuned out Mrs. Carruthers from the bank - "I just heard, dear, and what a thing to happen to such a lovely young couple! Now my mother always said you should lie on your left side to get the blood flowing to the baby..." - and was instead making a list of all the things she planned to do when she was allowed out of bed. A massage, first of all. Her back hurt. Then she was going to get her hair done, maybe a manicure, definitely some shopping. Sex, which wasn't allowed during bed rest. She missed it almost as much as Kris did, although sometimes he acted like he was scared to touch her now, for fear of anything else going wrong with the pregnancy.
There was a sudden crazy ruckus downstairs. "Who do you suppose that is?" Mrs. Carruthers asked.
"I don't know," said Katy, picking up her cellphone and dialing Kris. It was easier than shouting when he would never hear her over the sound of his dad telling stories about when his boys were born.
Kris picked up on the first ring. "You won't believe this," he said. There was all kinds of noise in the background.
"I won't believe what?" Katy asked.
"It's - Well," said Kris, and huffed a tired laugh. "Hang on, I'll bring him upstairs."
"Bring who?" Katy asked. "What's going on?"
Kris was still laughing. "I wish you were down here to see this. Oh man."
"What?" Katy repeated, but someone said something very loudly next to Kris, and his phone shut off. Katy scowled at it. He was going to pay for that.
Mrs. Carruthers asked anxiously, "Is everything alright, honey?"
"I'm not entirely sure," said Katy honestly, and then the ruckus came upstairs. Katy had a second to think, Where do I know that voice? and then Adam Lambert stuck his head around the bedroom door.
"Katy!" he said. "Honey! Sweetheart, baby doll, lamb chop. Did you miss me?"
He had clearly tried to dress for Arkansas; he was wearing a hot pink and black plaid shirt and black jeans and the most amazing bedazzled and be-sequined cowboy boots Katy had ever seen in her life. There was also a hat. "Did you think you were going to a costume party?" Katy asked.
Adam beamed. "I didn't want to make a disappointing entrance." He came over and kissed her cheek and Mrs. Carruthers looked all kinds of scandalized and confused. "It's so nice of you to come, Katy really appreciates it, but I'm afraid she needs some time to sleep, you understand," Adam said, still smiling, and somehow he'd walked Mrs. Carruthers to the hallway and past Kris, who looked a little amazed. Adam put his hands proudly on his hips. "There are fifteen people in your living room; it's like a party and you're not invited. That's tragic."
Katy closed her eyes and counted backwards from twenty. "Everyone means well," said Kris. "They want to help out, so they're... Well. They're always here."
"Am I intruding?" Adam asked quickly. "The last thing I wanted to do was cause you guys more stress."
"No," said Katy firmly. "We're thrilled to have you. What are you doing here?"
"Helping," said Adam. He sat down on the edge of her bed and held her hand. "I wasn't getting any work done anyway, I've been so worried about you. So I cleared my schedule and I'm all yours." He beamed at her.
"Wait, how is that possible? You told me you were recording an album right now in L.A.," Kris said.
Adam waved his hand around. "I was. It can wait. My friends need me."
"Adam, the label's gonna be pissed." Kris looked worried. "We have a million people here. You shouldn't blow off your label for us."
Adam looked at Katy. "Why is he talking nonsense?"
"He's been like this for a while now," she said. "I think it's the exhaustion. It makes him kind of dumb."
"Hey," Kris objected.
"Maybe you can take care of him," Katy said. "He hasn't slept in days, I'm more worried about him than the tadpole here." She moved Adam's hand so it was on her belly and he could feel the kicking. The baby was going to be some kind of karate champion, it felt like.
Adam's eyes lit up. "Oh my god," he said. "You're really having a baby. I know you told me that months ago, but oh my god!" He leaned down and hugged her. He smelled amazing and still gave the best hugs, even when he was hampered by her enormous belly.
"We are," Katy agreed. For just a second she felt a flicker of the old feeling, like this baby was a blessing and a gift that was going to make their lives better. Then, unfortunately, she went right back to feeling terrified and overwhelmed. She clamped down on it before it could show on her face.
"Would you like me to scare all the people away?" Adam asked, quietly serious. "Do you like the crowd, or is it..." He raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow at her.
Katy glanced over at Kris, who shrugged. "I wouldn't mind some peace and quiet," Katy allowed. "But they all mean well. And they aren't gonna be scared of you, honey; they know you from the show. Just because you have ridiculous hair and you kiss boys doesn't mean they'll all run like you were Godzilla."
"I'm only Godzilla when I stand next to certain husbands of yours," said Adam, ignoring Kris's huffy, "Hey!"
"Just for a little while," said Katy. "They want to help, but I need a little space." She didn't look at Kris, and he didn't look at her.
Adam kissed her forehead. "Anything for my favorite people," he said. "So, first thing, get rid of the family and neighbors for a while. Second thing, I'm putting mister crankypants over here down for a nap." He nodded in Kris's direction.
"Hey!" Kris repeated, aggrieved.
Adam stood up and cocked his hip sassily at Kris. "Did you or did you not call me in the middle of the night freaking out?"
"Not ‘freaking out.'" Kris gave Katy a mildly guilty look and she heroically refrained from rolling her eyes at him. She was glad he had someone to freak out at, particularly when she was asleep and didn't much care for being woken up.
Adam snorted. "We don't talk for two months, and then you call me in tears. It was all very tragic and precious."
Katy giggled. Kris said sulkily, "I didn't actually cry."
Adam gave him a pitying look. "Fine. You're still taking a nap. I have never heard you snap like this. You look worse than you did finale night."
"I'm busy," said Kris. "There's a lot of stuff to do, and there are always people here, and I..." He trailed off, waving his hand at Katy in a vague sort of way. She wasn't sure what it meant, except she suspected Kris had decided if he ever fell asleep again something would happen to the baby.
"Just trust me," Adam said. "I have a plan and I always get what I want in the end. You don't look so great either, sweetheart, but don't worry, I'm going to fix it. I'll take care of you like a princess."
"I can take care of my own wife!" Kris huffed, almost angry. Adam stopped uncertainly. His face softened, and Big Dramatic Entrance Adam flickered and melted away, replaced by the sweet guy Katy had been so surprised to meet at the mansion in L.A.
"Baby," said Adam, and pulled Kris into a hug. Kris stayed rigid, shoulders back, but Adam was patient and Kris was worn down, and after a couple of seconds he made a quiet, sad noise and buried his face in Adam's shoulder.
Adam hugged him and rubbed his back with one hand, while Katy pressed her lips together, glad she wasn't the sort of person who cried too often. It was different than family, somehow, even different than friends like Cale. Adam was far enough away that they could admit things were hard, but close enough to love them anyway.
"I cleared my schedule," said Adam again. "I have a whole week, two if I need them. After that I can do some of my recording in Little Rock. I hear you guys have studios out here just like we do in the big city. Next they're gonna try and convince me you have electricity and flush toilets."
Kris started laughing, although he didn't move from where he was crushed against Adam.
Adam gave Katy a stern look. "I better get to ride a horse before I go home."
-
"How are you doing?" asked Adam. "Really, though. Don't tell me you're fine, I didn't fly all the way out here for bullshit."
"Did you really get everyone to leave? Is he really napping?" she asked instead.
"Clearing the house was easy. I have so much practice sending people home from parties, you have no idea. And Kris is asleep, it took about thirty seconds from when I made him lie down. Either your guest room bed is the most comfortable thing on earth or he was kind of tired." Adam gave Katy a long look, with a little quirk of his mouth that wanted to know what was going on. Katy just shrugged.
"I've been trying to get him to lie down and relax, but he's so wound up."
"I wonder why," said Adam dryly. "Now how are you?"
Katy glanced at the door like Kris might have dragged himself out of bed to come spy on them. "I'm fine. My back hurts. My everything hurts. I'm so freaking tired of this bed and being asked how I am."
"Sorry," said Adam unrepentantly. "And how's the baby doing?"
She shrugged again, trying to sound upbeat. "He's good, I think. I take these giant hormone pills twice a day and he kicks a lot, and I... I try not to worry Kris more than he already is."
Adam narrowed his eyes at that, a clear message of I know there's more you're not telling me and I will get it out of you eventually. "Other than tired out of his mind, how's he doing?"
"Good," said Katy firmly. "He's the best husband in the world, and I am a very lucky woman." Adam just waited. "He's falling apart around the edges, a little," she admitted quietly. She wasn't going to say this to anyone else, but Adam kept their secrets. "I don't know what's going on with him. We aren't really talking. There have been too many distractions and too many other people around."
"He was a mess on the phone," Adam said. "I just... I figured I'd at least stop by and see if I was wanted."
"You're always wanted," Katy said, smacking him. "We just haven't seen you in a while is all."
"Maybe see if I was needed," said Adam.
Katy nodded. "That, too."
"How about a shoulder rub?" Adam asked.
Katy moaned a little because she couldn't help herself. Adam shifted around to sit behind her, moving those magical hands onto her neck and pressing unerringly where she had knots and pressure and pain. "Don't ever leave," she ordered.
"I could just teach Kris to do this," Adam offered. "If he can play piano he can work this out."
"You'd think," Katy said. "Don't you dare stop."
-
Adam caused as much racket all by himself as their entire neighborhood in the living room. He sang and shouted at people on the phone and did something mysterious in the kitchen that Katy didn't want to know about.
It didn't take long for Kris to wake up and wander into the bedroom, looking bleary and tired and confused. She'd been half expecting it, because he'd been so determined not to leave her alone since they got home. "Adam's still here?" he asked.
"Did you think he'd leave?" Katy asked, patting the bed. Kris crawled in next to her and dozed off again.
"I'm heating up casseroles!" Adam shouted from downstairs. "Anything special you want?"
"Anything is fine," Katy yelled back. Kris made a grumpy noise and rolled over, snuggling up to her back. Katy petted his hair and wished she could promise him everything really was alright.
"When you say ‘anything' do you actually mean anything?" Adam asked, walking upstairs. "Because one or two of these casseroles are suspicious looking if you ask me. I can't identify any of the ingredients. Or-" He stuck his head in the doorway and frowned. "Sorry, are you two having a moment? Am I interrupting?"
"No moment," Kris mumbled into Katy's shoulder. "S'okay."
"I thought we agreed you were going to sleep somewhere quiet for a few hours," said Adam, frowning at Katy.
"M'mostly asleep," Kris agreed.
Adam gave Katy a puzzled look, and she shrugged back. "Anything you think looks good," said Katy. "We're not going to run out of food any time this decade."
"I saw pie," said Adam, rubbing his hands together. "Not that I'm going to eat any, but it looks awesome."
"You're going to come up here and watch NCIS with me," said Katy. "We're going to eat an entire pie and not feel guilty about it. I'm already as big as a whale and you've been on a diet forever."
"Look fine," mumbled Kris, probably to both of them.
Adam laughed. "I'll bring up dinner and we can watch whatever you want, pretty lady."
"I don't feel pretty," Katy complained, as he went back downstairs.
"Prettiest girl ever," Kris told the pillow.
She patted him on the head. "You have to say that, you're stuck with me." Kris "Mmmph"ed at her and pulled the blanket over his head.
At least he was resting. Katy rubbed his shoulder with one hand until she felt his breathing even out and then reached for the remote, flipping through a few channels. She'd made Kris and his dad install a television for her in the bedroom, but it was boring and she was bored. Her laptop wasn't much better. She and Kris had never really been TV people.
Adam came upstairs balancing plates on a tray and settled on the bed on her other side. "Did your mom make this? It's amazing!" he stage whispered.
Katy hadn't felt much like eating lately, but she knew she was supposed to anyway. It did smell pretty good. Adam looked at her expectantly until she started in.
"So tell me," said Adam thoughtfully, "What's more helpful tomorrow? For me to drag him out of here and make him do something besides worry, or for me to hang out with you and paint your nails and give you a scalp massage?"
Katy froze with the fork halfway to her mouth. It was an embarrassment of riches, she honestly couldn't choose.
"Fair enough," said Adam. "We'll just do both."
"You don't have to do this," Katy said. "You don't have to be our sparkly fairy godmother and pretend everything is wonderful. It's enough that you came by to see us."
"I should have been here a while ago," said Adam, dropping a little of his smile. "I feel like a shitty friend."
"You're a great friend," said Katy sternly. "You're also a rockstar. You're here now."
"I want to swoop in and fix everything," said Adam. "I'm so sorry that I can't."
"You're doing good so far," said Katy. "Now give me some of that pie."
-
Kris acted like going shopping with Adam was some kind of water torture. "I don't need shirts," he complained. "I have shirts."
Adam wrinkled his nose. "I've poked through your closet, babe. Those aren't shirts, those are curtains at a country diner that got lost on their way to die."
Kris turned to Katy, like she was going to help. "Baby, tell him my wardrobe is fine."
"I should warn you," Katy told Adam, "it's basically like taking a toddler shopping. He won't try anything on, and he might lie down in the middle of the mall and start kicking his feet."
"That's not fair," said Kris, trying the wounded puppy eyes, which didn't work on Katy. "I just don't care that much, so I don't see why I should try on nine hundred shirts. I have perfectly good shirts."
Adam looked doubtful. He pulled open one of the dresser drawers again. "Some of these have to be from high school."
"See the R.E.M. shirt?" Katy asked. "That's from junior high. He had that shirt before he met me."
"Oh god," moaned Adam.
"It's soft," Kris protested. "All broken in!"
Adam took his hand. "Please let me help you," he said earnestly.
"I-" Kris looked at Katy again, but she was pretty in love with the idea of having a silent, empty house for a whole morning, and just smiled encouragingly at them. "But I-" he started again, and then sighed. "Alright. If it makes you that happy, I guess. Sure."
"It does!" said Adam. "Oh my god, it really, really does. I have wanted to dress you up since we moved into the Idol mansion."
Kris looked a little wary. "No leather, or like... Uh, no, like, girl clothes, right?"
Adam gave him a very patient I'm-waiting-for-you-to-stop-saying-stupid-things face.
"Just sneakers and jeans and shirts. Okay?"
"I promise not to push you too far outside your comfort zone, jeez," said Adam. "Loosen up and live a little. There will be no paparazzi shots of me putting the American Idol into a corset and platform lucite heels."
"I don't know what those are," said Kris suspiciously.
"Stripper shoes," Katy translated.
"Oh. You better not, I'd break an ankle."
"Take good care of my boy," said Katy.
Adam kissed her cheek and started dragging Kris toward the door. "I'll return him in like-new condition, don't worry. Just with more accessories."
"Awesome, man, I look great in earrings," Kris said, deadpan. "Wait, hang on. I can't leave Katy and the baby all alone, what if..." He cut himself off, obviously reluctant to even say the words out loud.
"I have the phone," said Katy, holding it up to demonstrate.
"Yeah, but what if something happens? We might be an hour away." He bit his lip.
"I won't take you to the moon," said Adam. "We'll stay nearby, just in case." Katy did not volunteer all the statistics she'd seen about how much more likely accidents were to happen within a few miles of home.
"But... What if..." Kris shook his head. "I should stick around. Adam, you can go buy whatever crazy stuff you want, I promise I'll wear it when you get back."
Adam shook his head and grabbed Kris's hand. "No way, man. The deal is we're giving Katy some space."
"I'll go downstairs, she won't even know I'm home," Kris said.
Adam sighed loudly and looked at Katy. "Baby," she said. "I love you. I'm going to be fine. Nothing is going to happen if you go out for a couple of hours, okay? And I think you might be going a little stir-crazy, stuck in here worrying all the time."
"What if I'm gone and something happens again?" he asked, voice dropping to almost a whisper, scuffing his sneaker hard against the floor.
"It won't," said Katy firmly.
Adam draped himself across Kris's shoulders. "Again?" he asked.
"I was out with Cale," said Kris. "I didn't even answer my phone, her mom had to come get her." The guilt in his voice was palpable, like a fourth person standing in the room.
"How would it have been different if you'd been here?" Adam asked, squeezing his arms around Kris.
"I would have... It would have been better, I..."
Kris was tearing up, damn it. Katy had been really good about not crying since they'd gotten home from the hospital; she wasn't going to start now. She stared at the ceiling, blinking hard.
"I guess I lost American Idol to Superman, huh?" Adam joked, and Kris laughed a little unwillingly, hiccuping down tears. He wasn't his dad; it only took him a minute or two to get himself back under control and pretend like nothing had happened, but he didn't move away from Adam's hug, either.
"I have the phone," said Kris eventually. "I'll call you, okay? Maybe... Maybe kind of a lot."
"I'll pick up," Katy promised. He gave her a pretty weak smile and squeezed her hand. She smiled back.
"I can never decide if you guys make me want to throw up or get married myself," Adam complained, and Kris laughed again. "Please can I go put you in lots of pretty clingy things?"
Kris wrinkled up his nose. "That sounds like a threat, man."
"Send me cameraphone pics," said Katy. "Lots of them."
-
Kris called twice before they got to the mall, and then Katy had a blissful half hour of total silence, all to herself. It had been so long. She spread out on the bed like a starfish and communed with the baby. She wanted him to know that they loved him and were excited to meet him, but he needed to wait a little while. She felt a silly talking out loud to him with Kris around the house.
Adam texted, He looks amazing in jeggings.
And then ten minutes later, Will u b mad if i hav to hlep him get out of them?
and then He is actually willing to try stuff on in the jr's dept. Fits ur boy like a dream bt maybe 2 much pink?
Katy texted back, Where are my pics?
Adam sent a shot of him and Kris crammed into a changing room wearing matching leopard-print robes and holding toy bubble-blowing pipes like kiddie Hugh Hefners.
Katy wasn't sure laughing that hard was good for the baby.
-
He fell asleep in the car, Im going to drive around 4 a while.
Katy rolled her eyes. Don't text while you drive!
Sry! :)
I wont anymore. :)
After this one. :)
-
"Tomorrow we're gonna do something I wanna do," said Kris. "Football. You have to watch the whole game and stay awake." Adam made a face. Kris pointed accusingly at him. "That! That expression right there, that is how I felt about going in to four different shoe stores, okay? You owe me." Adam kept pouting and eventually Kris cracked, giggling a little.
It was a nice sound, one Katy realized suddenly she hadn't heard lately.
"Don't make that face, man, I'm not gonna make you learn the hog call," Kris laughed.
"You could try," said Adam. "Will there at least be sweaty half-naked men in spandex pants?"
"I certainly hope so," said Kris gravely.
Adam kissed him on the cheek. "You spoil me."
"Well, heck," said Kris, "you bought me a tiara. It's the least I can do."
"Fashion show!" Katy said, feeling a little demanding and just a little left out. It wasn't Adam's fault she wasn't allowed to get out of bed and he got to go have hilarious adventures with her husband, but it still sucked. Adam got so much of Kris, so many things that Katy couldn't be part of. "I want to see what you bought."
"Would you believe I made him buy a Speedo?" Adam asked with an exaggerated leer.
Katy looked at Kris, who was turning a little bit pink. "No," she said. "Unfortunately."
-
"He’s sleeping okay now," Adam said quietly. Kris had made it through three outfits - Katy's favorite was the hipster skinny-tie deconstructed suit that Kris said was too tight and shiny - and then sat down in the chair in the corner to "recover" and fallen asleep.
"It’s your magic touch," said Katy. "You are officially shanghaied into baby sitting duty. For the real baby, I mean."
"Can’t wait,” Adam beamed.
"And I'll be able to help," Katy said. "I'm so tired of lying here." Katy wiggled around a little bit, trying to get more comfortable, but no position was comfortable with a baby pressing on her bladder and making her back hurt. "It feels like all my biggest fears about motherhood coming literally true. I'm actually trapped in the house. The baby has actually taken away my independence." She made a face.
Adam picked up her hand and started massaging where her thumb and first finger met. It was heavenly. "Women have babies because men could never handle it. You want me to paint these nails? You usually do pink or neutrals, right? How about sparkly black?"
Katy giggled. "You're always painting our nails black," she said.
"That's because I'm the only one who knows how secretly bad-ass and sparkly you are. I should totally paint his nails again while he's asleep. He'd freak out."
"He'd let you," said Katy certainly.
Adam had been fishing through his bag for lotion and a nail file and a rainbow of polish. Obviously he'd been prepared for this. He looked up at her with a little twist to his mouth.
"What?" Katy asked. "You can paint rainbows all over his face, if you want. I'll take pictures with my phone."
Adam shook his head. "I think sometimes, that if I were you, I'd hate me," Adam said.
"Honey, I don't think that anyone who's met you could hate you," Katy said. "Just ignorant people who don't really know you."
"No, I mean... I don't know, you already share him with a thousand screaming girls every night."
Katy pretended to think about it. "It's more like eight hundred most nights. And I definitely don't share with them."
"You know what I mean." Adam started buffing her nails.
"I don't mind sharing with you because I know you'll give him back," said Katy. "As much of him as you can."
"Killing me," said Adam. "Stop being so sweet."
"I just can't help it," Katy said, batting her eyelashes.
-
Kris woke up when Adam was halfway done with his left hand. He blinked a little, curious but still half-asleep, and asked, "Can I pick the color for the other one?"
"No," said Adam. "You don't know anything about nail polish."
"Fair enough," Kris allowed. "How are you doing, baby?"
"I'm fine, the tadpole is fine, we're all fine," said Katy.
Kris sighed loudly to let her know he didn’t believe it.
"How are you? Finally feeling rested?" Katy asked pointedly.
"I'll feel rested when the baby is actually born and you're both one hundred percent okay," said Kris. "In the meantime living on catnaps won't kill me. I do it on tour all the time."
"But then you'll have a baby," said Adam. "Have you realized what that means? You're never going to sleep again, Kris. Might as well now."
"Any baby of ours will be well-behaved," said Kris, flagrantly disregarding the fact that he and Katy had both gotten in trouble millions of times as kids. Kris was still kind of a pain in the ass half the time, although Katy mostly found it charming.
Adam snorted. "I'm going to go heat up some food for you guys. Any requests?"
"Something greasy and made of meat," said Kris.
"That's what I like about you," said Adam. "You let me paint your fingernails and then ask me for meat."
Kris rolled his eyes a little. "I'm comfortable with what I like, okay?"
"Mmm. We'll do the other hand later, then." Adam stood up and stretched for a minute before heading downstairs.
"Is this okay?" Kris asked. He sat down on the bed next to her. The bags under his eyes looked like bruises, even after a nap. "Having Adam here. I know you wanted peace and quiet and he's... Not."
Katy poked him in the side. "I want you to stop hovering and fretting. He distracts you. It's good."
"Yeah?" Kris looked a tiny bit relieved.
"I like having someone around the house who wants to watch Project Runway with me."
"I'll watch it, I just... Why is everything so ugly?" Kris asked.
"Because you don't understand fashion."
Kris held up his hands in surrender. "Clearly. I learned that today for sure."
"I'm glad you have someone else to talk to," said Katy. "Since you aren't talking to me much." It was the closest she'd gotten to an accusation, and she tried to take the sting out of it by rubbing her hand up and down his arm, enjoying the friction of her fingers against the hair there.
"Baby," Kris said.
"You being away on tour wasn't what caused this." She closed her fingers tightly around his wrist.
"I know. I know that. But what's gonna happen after the baby is born? I don't want to be away a lot again. Babies need attention and time. So do mommas." He smiled at her tentatively.
"Don't you dare," said Katy. "Have you been avoiding talking to me about this because-"
"Just for a little while," said Kris. "A year or two, or however long it takes. We didn't plan for this, and I think it's the only thing that makes sense. I can-"
"You can shut the hell up," said Katy fiercely. Kris stopped. She wrapped her hand around his wrist digging her nails in. She hoped it hurt. "We will baby proof a tour bus or you'll play concerts we can drive to, but you are not going to just up and take a few years off. You're not famous enough for that," she tried to joke, but her chest felt too tight. "Do you think I'd even want you to?"
"I don't know," said Kris. He wasn't looking at her.
Katy was so mad she could feel the baby getting restless, responding to her mood. "You're an idiot," she said. "A stupid, stupid idiot. Lizzie already has shows scheduled for you. Me and our parents can take care of things-"
"But I want to take care of things," Kris said.
"Then change your rider so it asks for baby food and a crib backstage."
They stared at each other for a minute, and then Kris wrinkled his nose up. "Contrary to popular belief I don't think I'd fit in a crib."
"You'll have to diet," Katy agreed, and he started to laugh, so she started to laugh. He leaned down and kissed her. It was tentative and sweet, like an apology. Katy let him, and then she bit his lip, hard. "Please don't make me kick your butt," she said against his mouth.
"But that's what I need you for," Kris said.
"I have always known that God had big plans for you," said Katy. Sometimes it felt like she'd lost enough pieces of him already and she'd never be able to put him back together again. There were other parts that she was sure about, though.
"You're my plan," said Kris. He kissed her again, harder this time. "You're my most important plan."
Katy didn't say anything one way or the other.
-
"You would make a terrible housewife," Katy laughed. Adam was a nice distraction from all the time she'd been spending lately on Kris's laptop, reading horror stories at new mother message boards.
"Your mom is still teaching me," Adam protested. "I'm learning to make biscuits. Eventually there will be a batch I didn't burn into charcoal. Just you wait."
He looked so proud of himself. Katy snapped a picture with her phone and sent it to Kris. "Just don't set the place on fire unless you're willing to carry me out to safety."
"Of course," Adam said. "I already promised Kris."
"Who is...?"
"Out with Cale. I couldn't spend one more day watching him mope around so I suggested alcohol might be a good cure. I figure they'll both get wasted and do that thing where guys use that as an excuse to cry on each other. He only made me promise three times that nothing would happen to you while he was gone."
Katy nodded. "You might just be a miracle worker," she said.
"Remind me how great I am later when I have to rub his back while he pukes," said Adam wryly.
"I will happily hand that duty off to you," said Katy. "Sick of us yet?"
"Never," said Adam, but Katy thought she was starting to see a little bit of strain around his mouth. "Okay, can I be honest?" asked Adam. "The thing is, you guys are so good together it totally makes me sick sometimes. But it seems to take all this work." Adam sounded personally offended.
Katy smiled. "I found someone who's worth the trouble, even when he drives me nuts."
Adam pouted at her. "I don't want to be a romantic anymore, I'm going to go move to a cave somewhere by myself and raise goats instead."
"Hon, you'd be an even worse goat herder than you are a housewife," said Katy fondly. "What would you do when you realized the cave had no alcohol or flat irons?"
"Come home, obviously," said Adam, "and write a lot of songs about how hard my life had been."
"I've seen your poetry," Katy warned him.
Adam winced. "Shhh, let's never speak of that again."
"Don't you have some biscuits downstairs burning?"
"Oh! Yes." Adam jumped up. "Your mom will save them, right?"
Katy considered. "She won't let a fire actually start," she said. "You two are getting along okay?"
"I kind of want to be her when I grow up," Adam admitted. "Is that weird?"
"Nah, Kris said the same thing the first time she made him dinner," said Katy. "It's a guy thing."
Adam looked bemused. "A guy thing. Huh. I may have been in Arkansas too long."
"Three days here didn't turn you straight, don't worry," said Katy. "Kris grew up here and he's handsier with boys than any slutty high school cheerleader I ever met."
"Adam!" called Katy's mom. "You're about to lose another batch!"
Adam pointed at her. "Hold that thought," he ordered, and ran downstairs.
-
Kris stumbled home drunk off his ass, giggling and telling some story about Cale and E.T. that neither Katy nor Adam could quite work out. He passed out face-down on the bed, so Katy and Adam and Katy's mom played Scrabble around him.
-
"Hey," whispered Katy.
Kris snored softly.
"Hey," Katy said again, and poked him in the side. It was dark in the bedroom, and Katy was feeling a little claustrophobic and not tired at all.
"S'up?" Kris slurred.
"Do you think we're happy?" Katy asked.
"I..." Kris said, and turned over so he could prop himself up on his elbow. There were creases from the pillow on his face and he smelled a little bit like stale beer and other people's cigarettes. "I am," he said, cautious and confused and mostly asleep. "Shoot, is this one of those conversations? Did I do something? Did I forget something? Baby, if you're not happy-"
She leaned over and kissed him, and he stopped babbling. "Adam says it looks hard," she said. "Being happy together. Am I too much work?"
Kris snorted. "Adam doesn't get to have sex with you."
"Neither do you for a while," Katy said.
"Yeah, that sucks," Kris allowed. He was always a little more honest when he first woke up. "You know I don't mind doing other stuff, right?" His hand wandered up under her shirt.
"No physical stimulation," said Katy firmly, pushing his hand away. Kris groaned and rolled on to his back. "Okay, so other than the sex thing," asked Katy, "are you happy?"
"The sex thing is kind of a big deal," said Kris, "but I guess it got us into this situation in the first place so I can't really complain." Katy bit her lip and didn't tell him all the statistics she'd seen about how long it took for some women to be enthusiastic about sex again after giving birth. He'd freak. "I guess... I guess I'd be happier if I thought you were happier," said Kris.
"I'm fine," said Katy automatically.
Kris sighed. "I wish you'd stop that. I can't help if you won't tell me what's wrong."
"Nothing," said Katy. "Really, everything is fine."
"Okay," said Kris. "If you're fine then I'm happy. And I’m pretty sure Adam doesn’t want to have sex with you."
"We are kind of a lot of work, huh?" Katy asked regretfully.
"Yeah," Kris said, winding his fingers through hers. "It's worth it, though." He yawned and cuddled up to her again.
-
Kris decided it would be a good idea to take Adam to the local county fair. Adam let Kris pick him out a plaid shirt but still insisted on wearing his bedazzled cowboy boots. Kris had to reassure him a couple of times that he wasn't going to get produce thrown at him by an angry mob, even if he wore his craziest makeup. Adam looked doubtful.
When they got home Kris told Katy he suspected most of the people in Conway had secretly voted for Adam on Idol, because they'd treated him like a conquering god and every mother and grandmother in town and made a pass at him. Some of the dads and grandpas, too. Kris thought it was hilarious. Adam thought it was funny, too, although he made a big production of showing Katy the bruises he'd gotten on his ass from all the pinching.
"Shouldn't wear leather pants, then," said Kris, grinning.
"This is why I wear the leather pants," Adam corrected him.
-
After a week and a half of intensive Adam therapy Kris looked a lot better and Katy felt a lot better. The dark circles under Kris's eyes were fading, and Katy didn't mind hearing his mother bustling around her house because whenever she got to be too much Adam whisked her away somehow.
That was why it was such a surprise when Adam said, "No eights, go fish," and Katy burst into tears. "Hey," said Adam, frowning. "Hey, did I do something? Are you okay? Do you want me to go get Kris?"
Katy shook her head violently, trying to get herself under control. She'd been so good and so strong and so controlled this whole time, and apparently all it took was the illusion of a private, quiet minute to make her totally break down. "I'm okay," she said, wiping her cheeks with the back of her hand. She knew how ugly she looked when she cried. "I'm fine, I'm okay-"
Adam handed her a tissue and then leaned over to hug her until she stopped sobbing and gasping for breath and felt like maybe she could speak again.
"I would have let you win at go fish if I'd know it meant so much to you," he said, and she snorted and slapped his shoulder.
"I feel so stupid," she said, rubbing her eyes.
"Girl, please," Adam said. "Kris is just downstairs with his dad, I can go get him."
"No," Katy said again, shaking her head. "I'm not telling him that I'm upset, it would just make him more upset."
"I think he might have guessed," said Adam. "You want to maybe try telling me, and I'll see if I can translate it into man-speak? I've been taking lessons since I got here. You ready?" He made a big show of preparing himself, shaking his hands and settling his shoulders like he was going to sing opera. "Football," said Adam gravely. "Tractor trailer. Titty bar."
Katy giggled. "I'm not buying it."
"Give me a shot," Adam said. "Worst comes to worst I think I've taught Kris to speak pretty fluent fierce."
Katy hiccuped and nodded. If it was as totally stupid and crazy when she said it out loud as it seemed in her head Adam would still just smile and give her a hug. He wouldn't laugh or tell her she was just being an irrational pregnant woman with crazy hormones, even if that was what he thought.
"Okay," said Katy, taking a deep breath. Adam put the cards to the side and tilted his head like he was really, really listening. "It's just... I'm pretty scared."
"Right," said Adam. "The hospitals and the doctors and all-"
"No," said Katy, "that's not what I'm scared of. I don't care about needles and blood and that stuff. It's just... Oh god, Adam, have you ever looked up the statistics on what happens to a couple that loses a baby?"
Adam's eyes widened. "Oh," he said. "No."
"It's... Conservative estimates put the divorce rate at twenty percent, but there are others that put it at eighty." She was starting to cry again, she hated that. "If something happens, if I do anything wrong, I won't just lose the baby, Adam."
He leaned over and hugged her until she mostly felt like she could breathe again. His shoulder was all wet, and it turned out sparkly black t-shirts felt a little bit scratchy when you pressed your cheek on them.
"Does that sound ridiculous?" she asked, trying to smile.
"Honey, that sounds terrifying," said Adam.
"Oh, god," said Katy, trying not to cry again. "I'm just so worried about it all the time."
"You guys aren't eighty percent of people, though," said Adam. "I mean, do you know what the odds of winning American Idol are?"
"Do you know what the odds of staying married after one partner gets famous are?" Katy countered.
Adam smiled. "Kris told me one time that if he could beat Danny into the final two he could do anything."
"Danny shouldn't have screamed so much or been such a jackass during that duet," Katy snorted.
"Danny shouldn't have been a jackass in general," said Adam. He rubbed Katy's back. "I'd be really scared of all that stuff, too."
She relaxed just a fraction. Her head had become an echo chamber that just repeated the awful statistics back to her over and over until she wasn't sure any of it made sense. "I don't want to be the reason why everything falls apart.”
"The fact that you started crying like that," said Adam cautiously, "makes me think maybe you should talk to him about this."
Katy shook her head. Adam moved closer on the bed, wrapping his arm around her.
"You're probably right," Adam said. "I think sudden crying jags and never talking about your feelings is a better plan. That's what straight guys like, right? They hate feelings. Especially Kris, he's definitely not a sharer or a hugger or a ridiculous romantic sap."
Katy bit her lip.
"The first night in the mansion, when I was like, Seriously? You're married? You're an infant! He told me the whole proposal story, with the notes and the song and the prettiest girl in the world. I thought he had to be kidding. He is so embarrassingly in love with you, baby." Adam squeezed her a little. "If something awful happened - and I know it won't, I know it - he would still love you just as much."
Katy turned and hid her face in Adam's chest and started to cry again. Kris was right; Adam was great for cuddling and crying with.
About the time she started to feel like a human being again she heard Kris clear his throat in the doorway. "You know, Adam, if you weren't one of my best friends I'd be a little bit worried right now," he said.
"I'll fight you for her," said Adam immediately. "You think you can take me, short stuff?"
"Oh, yeah, totally," said Kris. "I'm little but I'm sneaky. And you're ticklish."
"You swore you'd never use that against me!" Adam protested.
"Well, that was before you tried to steal my wife," Kris said, shrugging.
"I'm flattered," said Katy dryly. "Really."
Kris started to walk in and hesitated instead. "Should I go back downstairs? Is this some kind of, uh, thing? Like the nail polish?"
Adam looked down at Katy, and she took a deep breath and nodded. Adam beamed at her. "No, you should come here, and I should go downstairs so your dad can tell me more about fishing," said Adam.
"You want to learn about fishing?" Kris asked, making an incredulous face.
"We've agreed to a trade," said Adam. "He's teaching me about fishing and I'm going to make him watch Moulin Rouge." Kris's mouth dropped open. "I know!" said Adam gleefully. "It was his idea, too! It's going to be amazing."
"Wow," said Kris. "Well, okay then I guess. He's gonna cry when Satine dies, just so you're prepared."
"Oh, me too," said Adam. "That's why I'm so excited about it." He traded places with Kris, who was giving Katy all these worried looks when he thought she wasn't watching. "Be good, you two." Adam went downstairs and Kris moved back against the headboard of the bed so he could be mostly behind Katy, wrapping his arms around her.
"So?" Kris asked after a minute. "Is everything okay?"
Katy tried to smile. "You know how I keep saying I'm fine?" she asked.
"Yeah."
"It turns out I might not be. I might be kind of scared instead."
"Oh, baby," said Kris, hugging her. "Thank god. Me, too."
-
"If we are all making confessions about how guilty we feel, I have two," said Adam. He had been packing all day, which made Katy really sad. Although it was hard to be sad when Adam was also singing the entire score of Jesus Christ Superstar to her. He'd tried to get Kris to sing the Jesus lines, but Kris had laughed him off in favor of cuddling with Katy.
"Let me guess," said Katy. "Number one, you're sorry you didn't bring me more presents and you plan to make up for it by buying the baby a pony."
"No," said Adam. "I-"
"And two," interrupted Kris, "you're very sorry you didn't properly coordinate your eyeshadow and your shoes today, and you promise to do better from now on." Adam blinked at him. "What?" said Kris. "I pay attention."
"You listen, but you don't understand," said Adam mournfully. "Otherwise you wouldn't still own those jeans. They are criminally loose. Anyway, ha ha, no. Are you two going to let me bare my soul?"
Katy shrugged and looked at Kris, who shrugged back. Adam made a grumpy noise. Kris leaned over and gave Adam a one-armed hug. "Okay, man, tell us your dark secrets."
"Thank you. Okay, well, first, I'm really sorry that it took me so long to get out here and visit you guys. I've been busy and all, but I've also been shitty about calling, and you guys are really important to me, even when I'm an idiot who doesn't call you back."
"You got Kris to call?" Katy asked, arching an eyebrow. "Whoa. Okay, now I'm suspicious of you two."
"Who doesn't text you back," Adam corrected himself. "He went to all the trouble to type a few letters and I failed to reply."
"I felt deeply unloved," Kris agreed.
"It won't happen again, anyway," Adam said. "And second, I'm really really sorry, but apparently I am needed in L.A. I thought I had taken care of everything but I guess I'm supposed to be on TV this weekend, and they're being kind of grumpy about just broadcasting live from your living room."
"Unbelievable," said Katy.
Kris added, "I'm surprised no one from the label has banged down our door and demanded you come back already."
Adam's eyes were huge and tragic. "How did you get all this time off?"
"I only have six months," said Kris. "It's amazing what a really upset father-to-be shouting in a room full of suits will do."
"Shouting?" Adam asked doubtfully.
Katy patted Kris's knee. "He said if they made him do anything he'd call up Jim Cantiello and tell him they were being meanies while his wife was in the hospital. Or else he'd go on stage and sing ‘No Boundaries' over and over until the concert had to be cancelled."
"I salute your cunning," said Adam.
Kris shrugged. "My wife tells me I have to go back to work after that." He looked sideways at Katy, who squeezed his thigh. "If the schedule Lizzy emailed me means anything, I will never have time to eat or breathe again as long as I live."
"But he has a couple of days a month off for good behavior, and so the baby doesn't forget what his daddy looks like."
"You don't know it's a boy," Kris said.
"Yes, I do," said Katy certainly.
Kris shrugged her off with a silly face. "I'm already thinking of ways to sneak back."
"I'm worried he's going to be one of those really over-involved dads who hangs every scribble up on the fridge and won't stop showing strangers pictures of his kid," said Katy. Kris kissed her temple.
Adam nodded. "Well, obviously any baby related to me is going to be the smartest, prettiest, most talented baby in the world."
"Is there something you want to tell me?" Kris asked, looking from him to Katy.
"I'm declaring myself Uncle Adam," Adam explained. "Officially. I want visitation rights and first crack at giving all the stupid presents you tell him he can't have, and when he's big enough I want to be the relative he comes to when he needs to complain about how annoying you both are."
"Oh, sure, obviously," said Kris. "We figured that."
"I was also thinking you should sell your house in L.A. and get something much bigger, with a guest room just for me so it won't be awkward when I invite myself over and then spend all my time buying outrageous onesies for the baby. Isn't that a great plan?" He beamed.
Kris raised his eyebrows, his standard I-can't-tell-if-you're-kidding face.
"I've already kind of picked somewhere out," Adam assured him. "Your old place was too small for a baby and also all of my clothes."
Katy started laughing. "We're lucky you adopted us."
"Yes," said Adam, grinning. "Exactly." Kris gave him one of those big face-planting hugs that had made Kris's mom laugh so hard during Idol. The baby started kicking. Katy assumed he wanted to join the party.
"I'm going to drive him to the airport," said Kris. "Give the photographers something to talk about when we say goodbye. You know how it goes."
"Yeah," said Katy. Adam gave her a big hug, too. "Thanks for coming, hon."
"I never got to ride a horse, I'm definitely coming back," said Adam. "There's some cheese dip around here I still need to try, too."
"Bye, baby," said Kris. He kissed her, just a press of his mouth against hers, and then thought better of it and went for a real kiss. The baby started kicking like crazy, so Katy pushed him off. She really couldn't wait for all this waiting to be over.
"Guess what?" Katy asked, smiling at him. "I'm fine. I'm actually, seriously, really fine."
"That's why I'm so happy," Kris said, and kissed her one more time before he followed Adam downstairs.
Title: And I Do Appreciate (You Bein’ Round)
Fandom: American Idol 8 (Kris/Katy Allen and Adam Lambert)
Vaguely future fic. Katy's pregnant, something goes wrong, and Adam wants to help.
Gen (some kissing) curtainfic
Because Elucreh said, “Oh boy, you know what would fit that bingo prompt perfectly?” and she was right. Written for the hc_bingo prompt "Difficult Pregnancy," and I've decided to cheat and also make it for the schmoop_bingo prompt "Sick in Bed." Because my hc ends up schmoopy anyway, I can't help it.
Thanks to the email chain for cheerleading and support. Any mistakes are totally my fault. ♥
Disclaimer: This is not really about Adam, Kris, or Katy; this is speculation based on what characters modeled after them might be like. If you happen to be any of them or know any of them, please don't read this.
Katy's mother in law was the sweetest woman in the world, and Katy was going to kill her. Then her own mother. Then her aunt. Then all of Kris's aunts. Then all of their neighbors, the ladies from the library, the entire staff of Kris's elementary school, and nice Mr. Jackson, who'd given Kris viola lessons for a month and a half in eighth grade.
"Baby," said Kris, "I tried kicking them out. You have to believe me."
"Try harder," said Katy, and then she plastered on another smile because someone else had brought home-baked banana bread and then come up to the bedroom where she was trapped on mandatory medical bed rest to tell her how brave she was and how well she was holding up. Katy could survive two more months. She'd survived the first two weeks. She was determined.
Their kitchen was stuffed full of well-meaning casseroles and flowers delivered from every person Kris or Katy had ever met. Kris's mother had cleaned the living room three times and started a project to rearrange the kitchen cupboards. Katy's mom had taken it upon herself to start "fixing up" the closets. By the time Katy had the baby and could see her house again she wasn't going to be able to find anything.
She wanted to be mad at Kris, but he'd tried a couple of times to get everyone to leave. His parents and in-laws had run right over him, reassuring him that they "understood" what having a first child was like and were just gonna keep helping out. Kris could charm America into voting for him, but he couldn't charm their parents out of being kind. It wasn't his fault.
Katy found that she'd tuned out Mrs. Carruthers from the bank - "I just heard, dear, and what a thing to happen to such a lovely young couple! Now my mother always said you should lie on your left side to get the blood flowing to the baby..." - and was instead making a list of all the things she planned to do when she was allowed out of bed. A massage, first of all. Her back hurt. Then she was going to get her hair done, maybe a manicure, definitely some shopping. Sex, which wasn't allowed during bed rest. She missed it almost as much as Kris did, although sometimes he acted like he was scared to touch her now, for fear of anything else going wrong with the pregnancy.
There was a sudden crazy ruckus downstairs. "Who do you suppose that is?" Mrs. Carruthers asked.
"I don't know," said Katy, picking up her cellphone and dialing Kris. It was easier than shouting when he would never hear her over the sound of his dad telling stories about when his boys were born.
Kris picked up on the first ring. "You won't believe this," he said. There was all kinds of noise in the background.
"I won't believe what?" Katy asked.
"It's - Well," said Kris, and huffed a tired laugh. "Hang on, I'll bring him upstairs."
"Bring who?" Katy asked. "What's going on?"
Kris was still laughing. "I wish you were down here to see this. Oh man."
"What?" Katy repeated, but someone said something very loudly next to Kris, and his phone shut off. Katy scowled at it. He was going to pay for that.
Mrs. Carruthers asked anxiously, "Is everything alright, honey?"
"I'm not entirely sure," said Katy honestly, and then the ruckus came upstairs. Katy had a second to think, Where do I know that voice? and then Adam Lambert stuck his head around the bedroom door.
"Katy!" he said. "Honey! Sweetheart, baby doll, lamb chop. Did you miss me?"
He had clearly tried to dress for Arkansas; he was wearing a hot pink and black plaid shirt and black jeans and the most amazing bedazzled and be-sequined cowboy boots Katy had ever seen in her life. There was also a hat. "Did you think you were going to a costume party?" Katy asked.
Adam beamed. "I didn't want to make a disappointing entrance." He came over and kissed her cheek and Mrs. Carruthers looked all kinds of scandalized and confused. "It's so nice of you to come, Katy really appreciates it, but I'm afraid she needs some time to sleep, you understand," Adam said, still smiling, and somehow he'd walked Mrs. Carruthers to the hallway and past Kris, who looked a little amazed. Adam put his hands proudly on his hips. "There are fifteen people in your living room; it's like a party and you're not invited. That's tragic."
Katy closed her eyes and counted backwards from twenty. "Everyone means well," said Kris. "They want to help out, so they're... Well. They're always here."
"Am I intruding?" Adam asked quickly. "The last thing I wanted to do was cause you guys more stress."
"No," said Katy firmly. "We're thrilled to have you. What are you doing here?"
"Helping," said Adam. He sat down on the edge of her bed and held her hand. "I wasn't getting any work done anyway, I've been so worried about you. So I cleared my schedule and I'm all yours." He beamed at her.
"Wait, how is that possible? You told me you were recording an album right now in L.A.," Kris said.
Adam waved his hand around. "I was. It can wait. My friends need me."
"Adam, the label's gonna be pissed." Kris looked worried. "We have a million people here. You shouldn't blow off your label for us."
Adam looked at Katy. "Why is he talking nonsense?"
"He's been like this for a while now," she said. "I think it's the exhaustion. It makes him kind of dumb."
"Hey," Kris objected.
"Maybe you can take care of him," Katy said. "He hasn't slept in days, I'm more worried about him than the tadpole here." She moved Adam's hand so it was on her belly and he could feel the kicking. The baby was going to be some kind of karate champion, it felt like.
Adam's eyes lit up. "Oh my god," he said. "You're really having a baby. I know you told me that months ago, but oh my god!" He leaned down and hugged her. He smelled amazing and still gave the best hugs, even when he was hampered by her enormous belly.
"We are," Katy agreed. For just a second she felt a flicker of the old feeling, like this baby was a blessing and a gift that was going to make their lives better. Then, unfortunately, she went right back to feeling terrified and overwhelmed. She clamped down on it before it could show on her face.
"Would you like me to scare all the people away?" Adam asked, quietly serious. "Do you like the crowd, or is it..." He raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow at her.
Katy glanced over at Kris, who shrugged. "I wouldn't mind some peace and quiet," Katy allowed. "But they all mean well. And they aren't gonna be scared of you, honey; they know you from the show. Just because you have ridiculous hair and you kiss boys doesn't mean they'll all run like you were Godzilla."
"I'm only Godzilla when I stand next to certain husbands of yours," said Adam, ignoring Kris's huffy, "Hey!"
"Just for a little while," said Katy. "They want to help, but I need a little space." She didn't look at Kris, and he didn't look at her.
Adam kissed her forehead. "Anything for my favorite people," he said. "So, first thing, get rid of the family and neighbors for a while. Second thing, I'm putting mister crankypants over here down for a nap." He nodded in Kris's direction.
"Hey!" Kris repeated, aggrieved.
Adam stood up and cocked his hip sassily at Kris. "Did you or did you not call me in the middle of the night freaking out?"
"Not ‘freaking out.'" Kris gave Katy a mildly guilty look and she heroically refrained from rolling her eyes at him. She was glad he had someone to freak out at, particularly when she was asleep and didn't much care for being woken up.
Adam snorted. "We don't talk for two months, and then you call me in tears. It was all very tragic and precious."
Katy giggled. Kris said sulkily, "I didn't actually cry."
Adam gave him a pitying look. "Fine. You're still taking a nap. I have never heard you snap like this. You look worse than you did finale night."
"I'm busy," said Kris. "There's a lot of stuff to do, and there are always people here, and I..." He trailed off, waving his hand at Katy in a vague sort of way. She wasn't sure what it meant, except she suspected Kris had decided if he ever fell asleep again something would happen to the baby.
"Just trust me," Adam said. "I have a plan and I always get what I want in the end. You don't look so great either, sweetheart, but don't worry, I'm going to fix it. I'll take care of you like a princess."
"I can take care of my own wife!" Kris huffed, almost angry. Adam stopped uncertainly. His face softened, and Big Dramatic Entrance Adam flickered and melted away, replaced by the sweet guy Katy had been so surprised to meet at the mansion in L.A.
"Baby," said Adam, and pulled Kris into a hug. Kris stayed rigid, shoulders back, but Adam was patient and Kris was worn down, and after a couple of seconds he made a quiet, sad noise and buried his face in Adam's shoulder.
Adam hugged him and rubbed his back with one hand, while Katy pressed her lips together, glad she wasn't the sort of person who cried too often. It was different than family, somehow, even different than friends like Cale. Adam was far enough away that they could admit things were hard, but close enough to love them anyway.
"I cleared my schedule," said Adam again. "I have a whole week, two if I need them. After that I can do some of my recording in Little Rock. I hear you guys have studios out here just like we do in the big city. Next they're gonna try and convince me you have electricity and flush toilets."
Kris started laughing, although he didn't move from where he was crushed against Adam.
Adam gave Katy a stern look. "I better get to ride a horse before I go home."
-
"How are you doing?" asked Adam. "Really, though. Don't tell me you're fine, I didn't fly all the way out here for bullshit."
"Did you really get everyone to leave? Is he really napping?" she asked instead.
"Clearing the house was easy. I have so much practice sending people home from parties, you have no idea. And Kris is asleep, it took about thirty seconds from when I made him lie down. Either your guest room bed is the most comfortable thing on earth or he was kind of tired." Adam gave Katy a long look, with a little quirk of his mouth that wanted to know what was going on. Katy just shrugged.
"I've been trying to get him to lie down and relax, but he's so wound up."
"I wonder why," said Adam dryly. "Now how are you?"
Katy glanced at the door like Kris might have dragged himself out of bed to come spy on them. "I'm fine. My back hurts. My everything hurts. I'm so freaking tired of this bed and being asked how I am."
"Sorry," said Adam unrepentantly. "And how's the baby doing?"
She shrugged again, trying to sound upbeat. "He's good, I think. I take these giant hormone pills twice a day and he kicks a lot, and I... I try not to worry Kris more than he already is."
Adam narrowed his eyes at that, a clear message of I know there's more you're not telling me and I will get it out of you eventually. "Other than tired out of his mind, how's he doing?"
"Good," said Katy firmly. "He's the best husband in the world, and I am a very lucky woman." Adam just waited. "He's falling apart around the edges, a little," she admitted quietly. She wasn't going to say this to anyone else, but Adam kept their secrets. "I don't know what's going on with him. We aren't really talking. There have been too many distractions and too many other people around."
"He was a mess on the phone," Adam said. "I just... I figured I'd at least stop by and see if I was wanted."
"You're always wanted," Katy said, smacking him. "We just haven't seen you in a while is all."
"Maybe see if I was needed," said Adam.
Katy nodded. "That, too."
"How about a shoulder rub?" Adam asked.
Katy moaned a little because she couldn't help herself. Adam shifted around to sit behind her, moving those magical hands onto her neck and pressing unerringly where she had knots and pressure and pain. "Don't ever leave," she ordered.
"I could just teach Kris to do this," Adam offered. "If he can play piano he can work this out."
"You'd think," Katy said. "Don't you dare stop."
-
Adam caused as much racket all by himself as their entire neighborhood in the living room. He sang and shouted at people on the phone and did something mysterious in the kitchen that Katy didn't want to know about.
It didn't take long for Kris to wake up and wander into the bedroom, looking bleary and tired and confused. She'd been half expecting it, because he'd been so determined not to leave her alone since they got home. "Adam's still here?" he asked.
"Did you think he'd leave?" Katy asked, patting the bed. Kris crawled in next to her and dozed off again.
"I'm heating up casseroles!" Adam shouted from downstairs. "Anything special you want?"
"Anything is fine," Katy yelled back. Kris made a grumpy noise and rolled over, snuggling up to her back. Katy petted his hair and wished she could promise him everything really was alright.
"When you say ‘anything' do you actually mean anything?" Adam asked, walking upstairs. "Because one or two of these casseroles are suspicious looking if you ask me. I can't identify any of the ingredients. Or-" He stuck his head in the doorway and frowned. "Sorry, are you two having a moment? Am I interrupting?"
"No moment," Kris mumbled into Katy's shoulder. "S'okay."
"I thought we agreed you were going to sleep somewhere quiet for a few hours," said Adam, frowning at Katy.
"M'mostly asleep," Kris agreed.
Adam gave Katy a puzzled look, and she shrugged back. "Anything you think looks good," said Katy. "We're not going to run out of food any time this decade."
"I saw pie," said Adam, rubbing his hands together. "Not that I'm going to eat any, but it looks awesome."
"You're going to come up here and watch NCIS with me," said Katy. "We're going to eat an entire pie and not feel guilty about it. I'm already as big as a whale and you've been on a diet forever."
"Look fine," mumbled Kris, probably to both of them.
Adam laughed. "I'll bring up dinner and we can watch whatever you want, pretty lady."
"I don't feel pretty," Katy complained, as he went back downstairs.
"Prettiest girl ever," Kris told the pillow.
She patted him on the head. "You have to say that, you're stuck with me." Kris "Mmmph"ed at her and pulled the blanket over his head.
At least he was resting. Katy rubbed his shoulder with one hand until she felt his breathing even out and then reached for the remote, flipping through a few channels. She'd made Kris and his dad install a television for her in the bedroom, but it was boring and she was bored. Her laptop wasn't much better. She and Kris had never really been TV people.
Adam came upstairs balancing plates on a tray and settled on the bed on her other side. "Did your mom make this? It's amazing!" he stage whispered.
Katy hadn't felt much like eating lately, but she knew she was supposed to anyway. It did smell pretty good. Adam looked at her expectantly until she started in.
"So tell me," said Adam thoughtfully, "What's more helpful tomorrow? For me to drag him out of here and make him do something besides worry, or for me to hang out with you and paint your nails and give you a scalp massage?"
Katy froze with the fork halfway to her mouth. It was an embarrassment of riches, she honestly couldn't choose.
"Fair enough," said Adam. "We'll just do both."
"You don't have to do this," Katy said. "You don't have to be our sparkly fairy godmother and pretend everything is wonderful. It's enough that you came by to see us."
"I should have been here a while ago," said Adam, dropping a little of his smile. "I feel like a shitty friend."
"You're a great friend," said Katy sternly. "You're also a rockstar. You're here now."
"I want to swoop in and fix everything," said Adam. "I'm so sorry that I can't."
"You're doing good so far," said Katy. "Now give me some of that pie."
-
Kris acted like going shopping with Adam was some kind of water torture. "I don't need shirts," he complained. "I have shirts."
Adam wrinkled his nose. "I've poked through your closet, babe. Those aren't shirts, those are curtains at a country diner that got lost on their way to die."
Kris turned to Katy, like she was going to help. "Baby, tell him my wardrobe is fine."
"I should warn you," Katy told Adam, "it's basically like taking a toddler shopping. He won't try anything on, and he might lie down in the middle of the mall and start kicking his feet."
"That's not fair," said Kris, trying the wounded puppy eyes, which didn't work on Katy. "I just don't care that much, so I don't see why I should try on nine hundred shirts. I have perfectly good shirts."
Adam looked doubtful. He pulled open one of the dresser drawers again. "Some of these have to be from high school."
"See the R.E.M. shirt?" Katy asked. "That's from junior high. He had that shirt before he met me."
"Oh god," moaned Adam.
"It's soft," Kris protested. "All broken in!"
Adam took his hand. "Please let me help you," he said earnestly.
"I-" Kris looked at Katy again, but she was pretty in love with the idea of having a silent, empty house for a whole morning, and just smiled encouragingly at them. "But I-" he started again, and then sighed. "Alright. If it makes you that happy, I guess. Sure."
"It does!" said Adam. "Oh my god, it really, really does. I have wanted to dress you up since we moved into the Idol mansion."
Kris looked a little wary. "No leather, or like... Uh, no, like, girl clothes, right?"
Adam gave him a very patient I'm-waiting-for-you-to-stop-saying-stupid-things face.
"Just sneakers and jeans and shirts. Okay?"
"I promise not to push you too far outside your comfort zone, jeez," said Adam. "Loosen up and live a little. There will be no paparazzi shots of me putting the American Idol into a corset and platform lucite heels."
"I don't know what those are," said Kris suspiciously.
"Stripper shoes," Katy translated.
"Oh. You better not, I'd break an ankle."
"Take good care of my boy," said Katy.
Adam kissed her cheek and started dragging Kris toward the door. "I'll return him in like-new condition, don't worry. Just with more accessories."
"Awesome, man, I look great in earrings," Kris said, deadpan. "Wait, hang on. I can't leave Katy and the baby all alone, what if..." He cut himself off, obviously reluctant to even say the words out loud.
"I have the phone," said Katy, holding it up to demonstrate.
"Yeah, but what if something happens? We might be an hour away." He bit his lip.
"I won't take you to the moon," said Adam. "We'll stay nearby, just in case." Katy did not volunteer all the statistics she'd seen about how much more likely accidents were to happen within a few miles of home.
"But... What if..." Kris shook his head. "I should stick around. Adam, you can go buy whatever crazy stuff you want, I promise I'll wear it when you get back."
Adam shook his head and grabbed Kris's hand. "No way, man. The deal is we're giving Katy some space."
"I'll go downstairs, she won't even know I'm home," Kris said.
Adam sighed loudly and looked at Katy. "Baby," she said. "I love you. I'm going to be fine. Nothing is going to happen if you go out for a couple of hours, okay? And I think you might be going a little stir-crazy, stuck in here worrying all the time."
"What if I'm gone and something happens again?" he asked, voice dropping to almost a whisper, scuffing his sneaker hard against the floor.
"It won't," said Katy firmly.
Adam draped himself across Kris's shoulders. "Again?" he asked.
"I was out with Cale," said Kris. "I didn't even answer my phone, her mom had to come get her." The guilt in his voice was palpable, like a fourth person standing in the room.
"How would it have been different if you'd been here?" Adam asked, squeezing his arms around Kris.
"I would have... It would have been better, I..."
Kris was tearing up, damn it. Katy had been really good about not crying since they'd gotten home from the hospital; she wasn't going to start now. She stared at the ceiling, blinking hard.
"I guess I lost American Idol to Superman, huh?" Adam joked, and Kris laughed a little unwillingly, hiccuping down tears. He wasn't his dad; it only took him a minute or two to get himself back under control and pretend like nothing had happened, but he didn't move away from Adam's hug, either.
"I have the phone," said Kris eventually. "I'll call you, okay? Maybe... Maybe kind of a lot."
"I'll pick up," Katy promised. He gave her a pretty weak smile and squeezed her hand. She smiled back.
"I can never decide if you guys make me want to throw up or get married myself," Adam complained, and Kris laughed again. "Please can I go put you in lots of pretty clingy things?"
Kris wrinkled up his nose. "That sounds like a threat, man."
"Send me cameraphone pics," said Katy. "Lots of them."
-
Kris called twice before they got to the mall, and then Katy had a blissful half hour of total silence, all to herself. It had been so long. She spread out on the bed like a starfish and communed with the baby. She wanted him to know that they loved him and were excited to meet him, but he needed to wait a little while. She felt a silly talking out loud to him with Kris around the house.
Adam texted, He looks amazing in jeggings.
And then ten minutes later, Will u b mad if i hav to hlep him get out of them?
and then He is actually willing to try stuff on in the jr's dept. Fits ur boy like a dream bt maybe 2 much pink?
Katy texted back, Where are my pics?
Adam sent a shot of him and Kris crammed into a changing room wearing matching leopard-print robes and holding toy bubble-blowing pipes like kiddie Hugh Hefners.
Katy wasn't sure laughing that hard was good for the baby.
-
He fell asleep in the car, Im going to drive around 4 a while.
Katy rolled her eyes. Don't text while you drive!
Sry! :)
I wont anymore. :)
After this one. :)
-
"Tomorrow we're gonna do something I wanna do," said Kris. "Football. You have to watch the whole game and stay awake." Adam made a face. Kris pointed accusingly at him. "That! That expression right there, that is how I felt about going in to four different shoe stores, okay? You owe me." Adam kept pouting and eventually Kris cracked, giggling a little.
It was a nice sound, one Katy realized suddenly she hadn't heard lately.
"Don't make that face, man, I'm not gonna make you learn the hog call," Kris laughed.
"You could try," said Adam. "Will there at least be sweaty half-naked men in spandex pants?"
"I certainly hope so," said Kris gravely.
Adam kissed him on the cheek. "You spoil me."
"Well, heck," said Kris, "you bought me a tiara. It's the least I can do."
"Fashion show!" Katy said, feeling a little demanding and just a little left out. It wasn't Adam's fault she wasn't allowed to get out of bed and he got to go have hilarious adventures with her husband, but it still sucked. Adam got so much of Kris, so many things that Katy couldn't be part of. "I want to see what you bought."
"Would you believe I made him buy a Speedo?" Adam asked with an exaggerated leer.
Katy looked at Kris, who was turning a little bit pink. "No," she said. "Unfortunately."
-
"He’s sleeping okay now," Adam said quietly. Kris had made it through three outfits - Katy's favorite was the hipster skinny-tie deconstructed suit that Kris said was too tight and shiny - and then sat down in the chair in the corner to "recover" and fallen asleep.
"It’s your magic touch," said Katy. "You are officially shanghaied into baby sitting duty. For the real baby, I mean."
"Can’t wait,” Adam beamed.
"And I'll be able to help," Katy said. "I'm so tired of lying here." Katy wiggled around a little bit, trying to get more comfortable, but no position was comfortable with a baby pressing on her bladder and making her back hurt. "It feels like all my biggest fears about motherhood coming literally true. I'm actually trapped in the house. The baby has actually taken away my independence." She made a face.
Adam picked up her hand and started massaging where her thumb and first finger met. It was heavenly. "Women have babies because men could never handle it. You want me to paint these nails? You usually do pink or neutrals, right? How about sparkly black?"
Katy giggled. "You're always painting our nails black," she said.
"That's because I'm the only one who knows how secretly bad-ass and sparkly you are. I should totally paint his nails again while he's asleep. He'd freak out."
"He'd let you," said Katy certainly.
Adam had been fishing through his bag for lotion and a nail file and a rainbow of polish. Obviously he'd been prepared for this. He looked up at her with a little twist to his mouth.
"What?" Katy asked. "You can paint rainbows all over his face, if you want. I'll take pictures with my phone."
Adam shook his head. "I think sometimes, that if I were you, I'd hate me," Adam said.
"Honey, I don't think that anyone who's met you could hate you," Katy said. "Just ignorant people who don't really know you."
"No, I mean... I don't know, you already share him with a thousand screaming girls every night."
Katy pretended to think about it. "It's more like eight hundred most nights. And I definitely don't share with them."
"You know what I mean." Adam started buffing her nails.
"I don't mind sharing with you because I know you'll give him back," said Katy. "As much of him as you can."
"Killing me," said Adam. "Stop being so sweet."
"I just can't help it," Katy said, batting her eyelashes.
-
Kris woke up when Adam was halfway done with his left hand. He blinked a little, curious but still half-asleep, and asked, "Can I pick the color for the other one?"
"No," said Adam. "You don't know anything about nail polish."
"Fair enough," Kris allowed. "How are you doing, baby?"
"I'm fine, the tadpole is fine, we're all fine," said Katy.
Kris sighed loudly to let her know he didn’t believe it.
"How are you? Finally feeling rested?" Katy asked pointedly.
"I'll feel rested when the baby is actually born and you're both one hundred percent okay," said Kris. "In the meantime living on catnaps won't kill me. I do it on tour all the time."
"But then you'll have a baby," said Adam. "Have you realized what that means? You're never going to sleep again, Kris. Might as well now."
"Any baby of ours will be well-behaved," said Kris, flagrantly disregarding the fact that he and Katy had both gotten in trouble millions of times as kids. Kris was still kind of a pain in the ass half the time, although Katy mostly found it charming.
Adam snorted. "I'm going to go heat up some food for you guys. Any requests?"
"Something greasy and made of meat," said Kris.
"That's what I like about you," said Adam. "You let me paint your fingernails and then ask me for meat."
Kris rolled his eyes a little. "I'm comfortable with what I like, okay?"
"Mmm. We'll do the other hand later, then." Adam stood up and stretched for a minute before heading downstairs.
"Is this okay?" Kris asked. He sat down on the bed next to her. The bags under his eyes looked like bruises, even after a nap. "Having Adam here. I know you wanted peace and quiet and he's... Not."
Katy poked him in the side. "I want you to stop hovering and fretting. He distracts you. It's good."
"Yeah?" Kris looked a tiny bit relieved.
"I like having someone around the house who wants to watch Project Runway with me."
"I'll watch it, I just... Why is everything so ugly?" Kris asked.
"Because you don't understand fashion."
Kris held up his hands in surrender. "Clearly. I learned that today for sure."
"I'm glad you have someone else to talk to," said Katy. "Since you aren't talking to me much." It was the closest she'd gotten to an accusation, and she tried to take the sting out of it by rubbing her hand up and down his arm, enjoying the friction of her fingers against the hair there.
"Baby," Kris said.
"You being away on tour wasn't what caused this." She closed her fingers tightly around his wrist.
"I know. I know that. But what's gonna happen after the baby is born? I don't want to be away a lot again. Babies need attention and time. So do mommas." He smiled at her tentatively.
"Don't you dare," said Katy. "Have you been avoiding talking to me about this because-"
"Just for a little while," said Kris. "A year or two, or however long it takes. We didn't plan for this, and I think it's the only thing that makes sense. I can-"
"You can shut the hell up," said Katy fiercely. Kris stopped. She wrapped her hand around his wrist digging her nails in. She hoped it hurt. "We will baby proof a tour bus or you'll play concerts we can drive to, but you are not going to just up and take a few years off. You're not famous enough for that," she tried to joke, but her chest felt too tight. "Do you think I'd even want you to?"
"I don't know," said Kris. He wasn't looking at her.
Katy was so mad she could feel the baby getting restless, responding to her mood. "You're an idiot," she said. "A stupid, stupid idiot. Lizzie already has shows scheduled for you. Me and our parents can take care of things-"
"But I want to take care of things," Kris said.
"Then change your rider so it asks for baby food and a crib backstage."
They stared at each other for a minute, and then Kris wrinkled his nose up. "Contrary to popular belief I don't think I'd fit in a crib."
"You'll have to diet," Katy agreed, and he started to laugh, so she started to laugh. He leaned down and kissed her. It was tentative and sweet, like an apology. Katy let him, and then she bit his lip, hard. "Please don't make me kick your butt," she said against his mouth.
"But that's what I need you for," Kris said.
"I have always known that God had big plans for you," said Katy. Sometimes it felt like she'd lost enough pieces of him already and she'd never be able to put him back together again. There were other parts that she was sure about, though.
"You're my plan," said Kris. He kissed her again, harder this time. "You're my most important plan."
Katy didn't say anything one way or the other.
-
"You would make a terrible housewife," Katy laughed. Adam was a nice distraction from all the time she'd been spending lately on Kris's laptop, reading horror stories at new mother message boards.
"Your mom is still teaching me," Adam protested. "I'm learning to make biscuits. Eventually there will be a batch I didn't burn into charcoal. Just you wait."
He looked so proud of himself. Katy snapped a picture with her phone and sent it to Kris. "Just don't set the place on fire unless you're willing to carry me out to safety."
"Of course," Adam said. "I already promised Kris."
"Who is...?"
"Out with Cale. I couldn't spend one more day watching him mope around so I suggested alcohol might be a good cure. I figure they'll both get wasted and do that thing where guys use that as an excuse to cry on each other. He only made me promise three times that nothing would happen to you while he was gone."
Katy nodded. "You might just be a miracle worker," she said.
"Remind me how great I am later when I have to rub his back while he pukes," said Adam wryly.
"I will happily hand that duty off to you," said Katy. "Sick of us yet?"
"Never," said Adam, but Katy thought she was starting to see a little bit of strain around his mouth. "Okay, can I be honest?" asked Adam. "The thing is, you guys are so good together it totally makes me sick sometimes. But it seems to take all this work." Adam sounded personally offended.
Katy smiled. "I found someone who's worth the trouble, even when he drives me nuts."
Adam pouted at her. "I don't want to be a romantic anymore, I'm going to go move to a cave somewhere by myself and raise goats instead."
"Hon, you'd be an even worse goat herder than you are a housewife," said Katy fondly. "What would you do when you realized the cave had no alcohol or flat irons?"
"Come home, obviously," said Adam, "and write a lot of songs about how hard my life had been."
"I've seen your poetry," Katy warned him.
Adam winced. "Shhh, let's never speak of that again."
"Don't you have some biscuits downstairs burning?"
"Oh! Yes." Adam jumped up. "Your mom will save them, right?"
Katy considered. "She won't let a fire actually start," she said. "You two are getting along okay?"
"I kind of want to be her when I grow up," Adam admitted. "Is that weird?"
"Nah, Kris said the same thing the first time she made him dinner," said Katy. "It's a guy thing."
Adam looked bemused. "A guy thing. Huh. I may have been in Arkansas too long."
"Three days here didn't turn you straight, don't worry," said Katy. "Kris grew up here and he's handsier with boys than any slutty high school cheerleader I ever met."
"Adam!" called Katy's mom. "You're about to lose another batch!"
Adam pointed at her. "Hold that thought," he ordered, and ran downstairs.
-
Kris stumbled home drunk off his ass, giggling and telling some story about Cale and E.T. that neither Katy nor Adam could quite work out. He passed out face-down on the bed, so Katy and Adam and Katy's mom played Scrabble around him.
-
"Hey," whispered Katy.
Kris snored softly.
"Hey," Katy said again, and poked him in the side. It was dark in the bedroom, and Katy was feeling a little claustrophobic and not tired at all.
"S'up?" Kris slurred.
"Do you think we're happy?" Katy asked.
"I..." Kris said, and turned over so he could prop himself up on his elbow. There were creases from the pillow on his face and he smelled a little bit like stale beer and other people's cigarettes. "I am," he said, cautious and confused and mostly asleep. "Shoot, is this one of those conversations? Did I do something? Did I forget something? Baby, if you're not happy-"
She leaned over and kissed him, and he stopped babbling. "Adam says it looks hard," she said. "Being happy together. Am I too much work?"
Kris snorted. "Adam doesn't get to have sex with you."
"Neither do you for a while," Katy said.
"Yeah, that sucks," Kris allowed. He was always a little more honest when he first woke up. "You know I don't mind doing other stuff, right?" His hand wandered up under her shirt.
"No physical stimulation," said Katy firmly, pushing his hand away. Kris groaned and rolled on to his back. "Okay, so other than the sex thing," asked Katy, "are you happy?"
"The sex thing is kind of a big deal," said Kris, "but I guess it got us into this situation in the first place so I can't really complain." Katy bit her lip and didn't tell him all the statistics she'd seen about how long it took for some women to be enthusiastic about sex again after giving birth. He'd freak. "I guess... I guess I'd be happier if I thought you were happier," said Kris.
"I'm fine," said Katy automatically.
Kris sighed. "I wish you'd stop that. I can't help if you won't tell me what's wrong."
"Nothing," said Katy. "Really, everything is fine."
"Okay," said Kris. "If you're fine then I'm happy. And I’m pretty sure Adam doesn’t want to have sex with you."
"We are kind of a lot of work, huh?" Katy asked regretfully.
"Yeah," Kris said, winding his fingers through hers. "It's worth it, though." He yawned and cuddled up to her again.
-
Kris decided it would be a good idea to take Adam to the local county fair. Adam let Kris pick him out a plaid shirt but still insisted on wearing his bedazzled cowboy boots. Kris had to reassure him a couple of times that he wasn't going to get produce thrown at him by an angry mob, even if he wore his craziest makeup. Adam looked doubtful.
When they got home Kris told Katy he suspected most of the people in Conway had secretly voted for Adam on Idol, because they'd treated him like a conquering god and every mother and grandmother in town and made a pass at him. Some of the dads and grandpas, too. Kris thought it was hilarious. Adam thought it was funny, too, although he made a big production of showing Katy the bruises he'd gotten on his ass from all the pinching.
"Shouldn't wear leather pants, then," said Kris, grinning.
"This is why I wear the leather pants," Adam corrected him.
-
After a week and a half of intensive Adam therapy Kris looked a lot better and Katy felt a lot better. The dark circles under Kris's eyes were fading, and Katy didn't mind hearing his mother bustling around her house because whenever she got to be too much Adam whisked her away somehow.
That was why it was such a surprise when Adam said, "No eights, go fish," and Katy burst into tears. "Hey," said Adam, frowning. "Hey, did I do something? Are you okay? Do you want me to go get Kris?"
Katy shook her head violently, trying to get herself under control. She'd been so good and so strong and so controlled this whole time, and apparently all it took was the illusion of a private, quiet minute to make her totally break down. "I'm okay," she said, wiping her cheeks with the back of her hand. She knew how ugly she looked when she cried. "I'm fine, I'm okay-"
Adam handed her a tissue and then leaned over to hug her until she stopped sobbing and gasping for breath and felt like maybe she could speak again.
"I would have let you win at go fish if I'd know it meant so much to you," he said, and she snorted and slapped his shoulder.
"I feel so stupid," she said, rubbing her eyes.
"Girl, please," Adam said. "Kris is just downstairs with his dad, I can go get him."
"No," Katy said again, shaking her head. "I'm not telling him that I'm upset, it would just make him more upset."
"I think he might have guessed," said Adam. "You want to maybe try telling me, and I'll see if I can translate it into man-speak? I've been taking lessons since I got here. You ready?" He made a big show of preparing himself, shaking his hands and settling his shoulders like he was going to sing opera. "Football," said Adam gravely. "Tractor trailer. Titty bar."
Katy giggled. "I'm not buying it."
"Give me a shot," Adam said. "Worst comes to worst I think I've taught Kris to speak pretty fluent fierce."
Katy hiccuped and nodded. If it was as totally stupid and crazy when she said it out loud as it seemed in her head Adam would still just smile and give her a hug. He wouldn't laugh or tell her she was just being an irrational pregnant woman with crazy hormones, even if that was what he thought.
"Okay," said Katy, taking a deep breath. Adam put the cards to the side and tilted his head like he was really, really listening. "It's just... I'm pretty scared."
"Right," said Adam. "The hospitals and the doctors and all-"
"No," said Katy, "that's not what I'm scared of. I don't care about needles and blood and that stuff. It's just... Oh god, Adam, have you ever looked up the statistics on what happens to a couple that loses a baby?"
Adam's eyes widened. "Oh," he said. "No."
"It's... Conservative estimates put the divorce rate at twenty percent, but there are others that put it at eighty." She was starting to cry again, she hated that. "If something happens, if I do anything wrong, I won't just lose the baby, Adam."
He leaned over and hugged her until she mostly felt like she could breathe again. His shoulder was all wet, and it turned out sparkly black t-shirts felt a little bit scratchy when you pressed your cheek on them.
"Does that sound ridiculous?" she asked, trying to smile.
"Honey, that sounds terrifying," said Adam.
"Oh, god," said Katy, trying not to cry again. "I'm just so worried about it all the time."
"You guys aren't eighty percent of people, though," said Adam. "I mean, do you know what the odds of winning American Idol are?"
"Do you know what the odds of staying married after one partner gets famous are?" Katy countered.
Adam smiled. "Kris told me one time that if he could beat Danny into the final two he could do anything."
"Danny shouldn't have screamed so much or been such a jackass during that duet," Katy snorted.
"Danny shouldn't have been a jackass in general," said Adam. He rubbed Katy's back. "I'd be really scared of all that stuff, too."
She relaxed just a fraction. Her head had become an echo chamber that just repeated the awful statistics back to her over and over until she wasn't sure any of it made sense. "I don't want to be the reason why everything falls apart.”
"The fact that you started crying like that," said Adam cautiously, "makes me think maybe you should talk to him about this."
Katy shook her head. Adam moved closer on the bed, wrapping his arm around her.
"You're probably right," Adam said. "I think sudden crying jags and never talking about your feelings is a better plan. That's what straight guys like, right? They hate feelings. Especially Kris, he's definitely not a sharer or a hugger or a ridiculous romantic sap."
Katy bit her lip.
"The first night in the mansion, when I was like, Seriously? You're married? You're an infant! He told me the whole proposal story, with the notes and the song and the prettiest girl in the world. I thought he had to be kidding. He is so embarrassingly in love with you, baby." Adam squeezed her a little. "If something awful happened - and I know it won't, I know it - he would still love you just as much."
Katy turned and hid her face in Adam's chest and started to cry again. Kris was right; Adam was great for cuddling and crying with.
About the time she started to feel like a human being again she heard Kris clear his throat in the doorway. "You know, Adam, if you weren't one of my best friends I'd be a little bit worried right now," he said.
"I'll fight you for her," said Adam immediately. "You think you can take me, short stuff?"
"Oh, yeah, totally," said Kris. "I'm little but I'm sneaky. And you're ticklish."
"You swore you'd never use that against me!" Adam protested.
"Well, that was before you tried to steal my wife," Kris said, shrugging.
"I'm flattered," said Katy dryly. "Really."
Kris started to walk in and hesitated instead. "Should I go back downstairs? Is this some kind of, uh, thing? Like the nail polish?"
Adam looked down at Katy, and she took a deep breath and nodded. Adam beamed at her. "No, you should come here, and I should go downstairs so your dad can tell me more about fishing," said Adam.
"You want to learn about fishing?" Kris asked, making an incredulous face.
"We've agreed to a trade," said Adam. "He's teaching me about fishing and I'm going to make him watch Moulin Rouge." Kris's mouth dropped open. "I know!" said Adam gleefully. "It was his idea, too! It's going to be amazing."
"Wow," said Kris. "Well, okay then I guess. He's gonna cry when Satine dies, just so you're prepared."
"Oh, me too," said Adam. "That's why I'm so excited about it." He traded places with Kris, who was giving Katy all these worried looks when he thought she wasn't watching. "Be good, you two." Adam went downstairs and Kris moved back against the headboard of the bed so he could be mostly behind Katy, wrapping his arms around her.
"So?" Kris asked after a minute. "Is everything okay?"
Katy tried to smile. "You know how I keep saying I'm fine?" she asked.
"Yeah."
"It turns out I might not be. I might be kind of scared instead."
"Oh, baby," said Kris, hugging her. "Thank god. Me, too."
-
"If we are all making confessions about how guilty we feel, I have two," said Adam. He had been packing all day, which made Katy really sad. Although it was hard to be sad when Adam was also singing the entire score of Jesus Christ Superstar to her. He'd tried to get Kris to sing the Jesus lines, but Kris had laughed him off in favor of cuddling with Katy.
"Let me guess," said Katy. "Number one, you're sorry you didn't bring me more presents and you plan to make up for it by buying the baby a pony."
"No," said Adam. "I-"
"And two," interrupted Kris, "you're very sorry you didn't properly coordinate your eyeshadow and your shoes today, and you promise to do better from now on." Adam blinked at him. "What?" said Kris. "I pay attention."
"You listen, but you don't understand," said Adam mournfully. "Otherwise you wouldn't still own those jeans. They are criminally loose. Anyway, ha ha, no. Are you two going to let me bare my soul?"
Katy shrugged and looked at Kris, who shrugged back. Adam made a grumpy noise. Kris leaned over and gave Adam a one-armed hug. "Okay, man, tell us your dark secrets."
"Thank you. Okay, well, first, I'm really sorry that it took me so long to get out here and visit you guys. I've been busy and all, but I've also been shitty about calling, and you guys are really important to me, even when I'm an idiot who doesn't call you back."
"You got Kris to call?" Katy asked, arching an eyebrow. "Whoa. Okay, now I'm suspicious of you two."
"Who doesn't text you back," Adam corrected himself. "He went to all the trouble to type a few letters and I failed to reply."
"I felt deeply unloved," Kris agreed.
"It won't happen again, anyway," Adam said. "And second, I'm really really sorry, but apparently I am needed in L.A. I thought I had taken care of everything but I guess I'm supposed to be on TV this weekend, and they're being kind of grumpy about just broadcasting live from your living room."
"Unbelievable," said Katy.
Kris added, "I'm surprised no one from the label has banged down our door and demanded you come back already."
Adam's eyes were huge and tragic. "How did you get all this time off?"
"I only have six months," said Kris. "It's amazing what a really upset father-to-be shouting in a room full of suits will do."
"Shouting?" Adam asked doubtfully.
Katy patted Kris's knee. "He said if they made him do anything he'd call up Jim Cantiello and tell him they were being meanies while his wife was in the hospital. Or else he'd go on stage and sing ‘No Boundaries' over and over until the concert had to be cancelled."
"I salute your cunning," said Adam.
Kris shrugged. "My wife tells me I have to go back to work after that." He looked sideways at Katy, who squeezed his thigh. "If the schedule Lizzy emailed me means anything, I will never have time to eat or breathe again as long as I live."
"But he has a couple of days a month off for good behavior, and so the baby doesn't forget what his daddy looks like."
"You don't know it's a boy," Kris said.
"Yes, I do," said Katy certainly.
Kris shrugged her off with a silly face. "I'm already thinking of ways to sneak back."
"I'm worried he's going to be one of those really over-involved dads who hangs every scribble up on the fridge and won't stop showing strangers pictures of his kid," said Katy. Kris kissed her temple.
Adam nodded. "Well, obviously any baby related to me is going to be the smartest, prettiest, most talented baby in the world."
"Is there something you want to tell me?" Kris asked, looking from him to Katy.
"I'm declaring myself Uncle Adam," Adam explained. "Officially. I want visitation rights and first crack at giving all the stupid presents you tell him he can't have, and when he's big enough I want to be the relative he comes to when he needs to complain about how annoying you both are."
"Oh, sure, obviously," said Kris. "We figured that."
"I was also thinking you should sell your house in L.A. and get something much bigger, with a guest room just for me so it won't be awkward when I invite myself over and then spend all my time buying outrageous onesies for the baby. Isn't that a great plan?" He beamed.
Kris raised his eyebrows, his standard I-can't-tell-if-you're-kidding face.
"I've already kind of picked somewhere out," Adam assured him. "Your old place was too small for a baby and also all of my clothes."
Katy started laughing. "We're lucky you adopted us."
"Yes," said Adam, grinning. "Exactly." Kris gave him one of those big face-planting hugs that had made Kris's mom laugh so hard during Idol. The baby started kicking. Katy assumed he wanted to join the party.
"I'm going to drive him to the airport," said Kris. "Give the photographers something to talk about when we say goodbye. You know how it goes."
"Yeah," said Katy. Adam gave her a big hug, too. "Thanks for coming, hon."
"I never got to ride a horse, I'm definitely coming back," said Adam. "There's some cheese dip around here I still need to try, too."
"Bye, baby," said Kris. He kissed her, just a press of his mouth against hers, and then thought better of it and went for a real kiss. The baby started kicking like crazy, so Katy pushed him off. She really couldn't wait for all this waiting to be over.
"Guess what?" Katy asked, smiling at him. "I'm fine. I'm actually, seriously, really fine."
"That's why I'm so happy," Kris said, and kissed her one more time before he followed Adam downstairs.