(no subject)
Okay Regardless if you're one of my best friends or not I need to get this out because it's really bothering me. this is not talking behind you're back either because I know you'll read this. Latley I feel like the 3rd wheel and that guys come before me. I mean I know that's not how it is and that guys mean less to you then me, but it's just not feelin' that way latley. I'm sorry I understand you and everything but i just dont get this. I don't care if you were drunk or high or gay or what ever you were, it's not excuse to go behind someones back that you care about and do that. Even if you "didnt mean for it to happen" or it wasnt "your fault". under any means or circumstances-unless it was a life or death situation was no excuse to do that. AND not say anything. whether we had a serious conversation or not i would not be able to look at that friend and not tell them or feel shame. i would pull them aside and tell them what honestly happen and that im REALLY FUCKING SORRY. but to keep it from them is wrong. no matter how mad they'll be at you or how upset or hurt, the right thing to do is go and tell them. i'm not mad at you im over it but not only did that hurt her, that also hurt me that you would to that to her. and expect me not to get upset at you. i was upset. im sick of everytime ure drunk..being an excuse. just because your drunk doesnt mean your dumb or u dont know what your doing. you cant just pretend it never happened. then today i was sitting there skipping with you and this OTHER guy and u were whutever cuddling and what not and i was just sittin there thinking...wow you really get around fast dont you babe? i really dont get it. thats called leading people on. i just dont get you this time. and to think i actually told you i like this kid in the begining of the year. "i didnt know kayla liked him how com eu never told me? oh i feel bad. :smiles and walks back over to him:" whats that prove? how bad you feel? thats a really flippin cool way of showin you care, maybe i should try it sometime. ALSO, i dont understand why you have to make ME feel bad about myself even though u may not mean to, i know you do sometimes. i mean i already told you its not a competition between me and you even though it is between u and someone else it doesnt go that way for me. you brag about how good you look all the time. oh i look cute. look and my itty bitty tummy. i mean COME THE FUCK ON. you dont even have to pretend u dont know how that makes me feel. but i bite my tongue. why must r friendship be based on beauty? or guys? it used to be more than that. i think you just need to chill out. im not mad, just annoyed. but i love you...and im truley confused