if you dont care about me dont read it

[partyhardfriend]

i hate this day
i hate the day after those nights
im just lef to think all day long
and you know what i think?
i really have no idea.
i hate being compared to other people
but yet, i myself compare myself to other people
i recieved a kiss on the cheek last night from the love of my life
and im questioning it. ive been doing this all day
all through church this morning i couldent get it off my mind
everything i thought and spoke and believed
it was all about him.
all of it.
i dont know how long i have to wait
these past 10 months
i dont know whether they were worth it or not
i dont know what they were
i dont know if i should move on or not.
ive tryed to before but,
i feel bad.
I FEEL BAD.
what the hell is wrong with me
HE should feel bad.
why am i like this?
its like my life revolves around him
i feel bad likeing someone else
i feel bad flirting with someone else
because i know he gets mad at me
but yet he can flirt with girls i know
RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME
and i dont say anything
not a word
no matter how much this hurts
no matter how much it rips me apart
i sit there and pretend
i pretend i dont care
or im not listening
or i dont love him
what is love
i thought i was in it
i dont know if i am
i dont know if i ever was
or if i am
so here i sit
day and night
thinking
and thinking
and thinking.
i dont know how to act tomorow
i want something to either start,
or end.
i want something to happen
people say act normal
i dont want to
but i know i will
[i want someone who cant get enough of me]
is he making the mistake
or is it me?