today im a senior
So i woke up to the sound of the phone ringing......it was jeremy(j-mac) as most people here in cove know him. it was about 10:30 am. and i really got up wow huh? well he told me he was comeing over to take a shower with me. ok so what ever. hes never seen me naked or nothing.... im just a little scared you know. well he comes over and we get in the shower it was nice it was different. my first time ever and his too. we did nothing really.... but it was cute. we washed his hair and i washed his new tatto he go yesturday. hes really nice just something went wrong..... im not telling that part its my little memory im keeping for my self. but no my dad did not walk in or nothing like that. but i hope hes happy in what ever he dose. i am happy it was with you i took my first shower with a man. graduation is in 3 hours for you and 2 hours for my friends at home. i hope all of yall are doing good. i am going to miss all of yall sooooooooooooooooo much. ive done nothing but cry today.... not just b/c of jeremy but b/c my friends are not going to be there next year and im not there for them tonight. wow it really hurts.
but there are so many things running though my mind i dont know what to think. im so NUMB. what do i have to come back home to? everyones is leaveing or they dont wont to talk to me any more. i dont know. but its crazy shit here and there.
i need a smoke..... i need his love...... i need his touch........i need a drink..... im going crazy........ i want his lips to press up agenst mine again........ i need to feel wanted......... im going crazy.......... what am i to do? why is this happening................ wow when i go home is mr orlandzo going to want to talk to me or has he moved on just like justin did? ............. i dont think im over him wow................... this is some crazy shit........... its raining or looks like is about to.............. i need a smoke........... where is she at with them? why dose she have to go to north carolina? if i was still there would she be leaveing tomarrow? i cant get the memories back.......... but i want to remember them forever b/c you made me happy. wow........... im just NUMB.
i have no clue in what im writeing so im stoping ... yay i updated.................