REPOST: March 7, 2006
"my back is breaking from this heavy heart.
i wish i could tell him i forgive him for not inviting me to his bar mitzvah...even if he never had a second one just for me to go to. i can't help but think about everything now. all the old times. ana. marianne. anthony. all the gifted kids. times at AO's. fuckin around in Wolfson's. fuckin around in front of Jason's...how he teased about watching me through my windows. long talks. too young.
i hate being so far away...
i love you greg. i'm sorry."
I am physically, mentally, emotionally miles away from where I was when I wrote this, when I was when I wrote this, what I was when I wrote this, and who I was when I wrote this. And yet, every time I hear "hear you me" I realize exactly when my life's trajectory changed based on the event that prompted me to write it. I was and never will be the same. A bittersweet blessing in disguise, no doubt in my mind. However, I sometimes can't help but think that I would rather live in ignorance... in his company.
I still love you, Greg. and I still miss you.
i wish i could tell him i forgive him for not inviting me to his bar mitzvah...even if he never had a second one just for me to go to. i can't help but think about everything now. all the old times. ana. marianne. anthony. all the gifted kids. times at AO's. fuckin around in Wolfson's. fuckin around in front of Jason's...how he teased about watching me through my windows. long talks. too young.
i hate being so far away...
i love you greg. i'm sorry."
I am physically, mentally, emotionally miles away from where I was when I wrote this, when I was when I wrote this, what I was when I wrote this, and who I was when I wrote this. And yet, every time I hear "hear you me" I realize exactly when my life's trajectory changed based on the event that prompted me to write it. I was and never will be the same. A bittersweet blessing in disguise, no doubt in my mind. However, I sometimes can't help but think that I would rather live in ignorance... in his company.
I still love you, Greg. and I still miss you.