inspired by coco's last entry
what the HELL is going on?
THIS IS MY CRY FOR HELP
I WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE IT IF YOU GUYS WOULD READ THIS WHOLE THING, THE EDIT PART IS BETTER
everything is moving too fast
seriously
i am going to look back on this post
and scream at myself for acting so immature
but this is truth:
i DO NOT know who i am
i'm definitly not sure
how i am supposed to find myself
i need to improve
i need to change
i need a change
but i'm STUCK
stuck stuck stuck
something or someone is definitly
missing from my life
i don't know who or what yet,
but i can't just sit here and wait.
why can't i just be SATISFIED?
everyone who knows me knows
that i'm good at molding myself
hold up.
scratch that.
i guess people who know me
don't even know the real me.
because i don't even know.
somebody come save me
there's never gonna be
a moment of truth for you
while the world is watching
all you need is
the thing you've forgotten
and that's to learn to live
with what you are
***EDIT***
LAST NIGHT I ALMOST LOST MY BEST FRIEND
after 1 hour and 42 minutes
of talking on the phone with her
i have realized that:
i can't dwell on the past
and after always complaining about
wanting something to happen to me
i'm not trying to find anything specific,
i'm just trying to live and be content with myself
be happy inside rather than
waiting for something to happen externally
i know who i am
it just seems hard sometimes because
i'm so used to satisfying people,
but that's just part my personality
i strive off of making others happy
i'm sensitive
and that's the way i get positive feedback
that came from always
trying to impress my parents as i was growing up
now it's spread to other parts of my life
i'm just
scared of myself
i know my goals, but,
they're unclear
i always make things harder
than they have to be
i need to accept my imperfections
comparison is the root of my unhappiness
sometimes i think im so unhappy
with everything
but basically in order to be content
i need to take what i've always had
and use it
i need to keep and open mind
but when it comes down to it
i have to be strong enough to
look inside for the answers
anddd im spent