Hello Again! It's Time To Move On...
Wow! It has been some time since I have last updated this thing.
My time away has been great, and much appreciated. I didn't really go anywhere, just stayed in good 'ol Rancho Cucamonga, but I took time to sort things out. It would be a lie to say that I was not really depressed; my previous entries show that pretty well. After, taking the time, I feel so much better. I have seriously grown so much in just the last couple of months, the last couple of weeks even. I continue growing and learning each day.
I love my brother, Kevin, so much. He has helped me to grow. We have grown together. He believes in me, and supports me. I am very lucky to have him in my life. I am so proud of him as of late, he is getting to where he wants to be. He has big goals that he is on his way to meeting. We have very much the same outlook on life, and have both been removing negative influences from our lives. We have experienced some pretty bad things in our lives, yet we wouldn't change a single thing about our pasts. We both agree that the troubling experiences in life, the pain, is what makes you who you are. These things make you stronger, you just have to decide to learn from them instead of letting them bring you down. We're trying to get our mom to join in on the way we look at life, but I think that it will take some time longer. She has recently found out some things about her chilhood that she seemingly blocked out. These things are extremely troubling for her, and she doesn't know how to deal with them. Kevin and I have been telling her that since it has not affected her life so far, why let it now. We tried being nice about it, but the only way to get it through to her is to tell her to shut up and listen to you, you have to be a bit harsh with her. That's what we did, we told her how it is. At the time, she said that we were wrong, and that she won't be able to deal with what she found out, but now I think she may be getting it. After she told us what she was told, we were a bit shocked, but stood by our word. She'll come around, I know she will.
Things are moving forward in my life, and it is up to me to keep the momentum going. I got a new SLR recently, which I am extremely overjoyed about. The inheritance I am getting from my grandpa is helping me to do things I never thought possible, like buying the camera. My mom's lawsuit is finally settled, and that will allow us all to move on. We may even be moving. I think that I thought for so long that if I wanted change, and tried for it that it would just come. But, of course, that is not how things work. Everything takes time, and I have finally realized that. I have noticed it throught the changes I have experienced over the past several months. I did, however, want to be where I am now at the time, but it took longer. I am finally there, or almost there. There is no looking back.
I can honestly say that I am ready now. I told Kev that I haven't taken that leap yet because I was scared of the unkown. He told me, "You have to be uncomfortable to get comfortable." It was like, in a way, I knew that already but his saying it finally made it register. I have to put myself in situations that may be unccomfortable now to get to where I want to be. I realized a lot of things when he called me into his room about a week or so ago to listen to something, and we ended up talking for hours. He finally understands where I come from, and I better understand the same about him.
My dad has even become a better, more positive fixture in my life.
I have found one of my favorite places. It inspires me. It is in Corona Del Mar. I took my mom there a couple of weeks ago, and she was pretty blown away. She had no idea where I was taking her. Kevin, my dad, and I found it by accident a couple months ago. It's a coastal bluff that overlooks the ocean. There are jutting, sharp rocks far below that the waves crash into, and it is just beautiful. My mom and I got there when the sun was setting. I took pictures, that I may post at a later date since it is getting late and I would have to upload them off my camera.
I will leave you with a quote from a Tom Petty song that Andrew McMahon referenced in his blog. It seemed funny because it is how I feel at the moment.
"It's time to move on
It’s time to get going
What lies ahead I have no way of knowing
But under my feet, baby
The grass is growing
It's time to move on
It's time to get going"
- - Katy
My time away has been great, and much appreciated. I didn't really go anywhere, just stayed in good 'ol Rancho Cucamonga, but I took time to sort things out. It would be a lie to say that I was not really depressed; my previous entries show that pretty well. After, taking the time, I feel so much better. I have seriously grown so much in just the last couple of months, the last couple of weeks even. I continue growing and learning each day.
I love my brother, Kevin, so much. He has helped me to grow. We have grown together. He believes in me, and supports me. I am very lucky to have him in my life. I am so proud of him as of late, he is getting to where he wants to be. He has big goals that he is on his way to meeting. We have very much the same outlook on life, and have both been removing negative influences from our lives. We have experienced some pretty bad things in our lives, yet we wouldn't change a single thing about our pasts. We both agree that the troubling experiences in life, the pain, is what makes you who you are. These things make you stronger, you just have to decide to learn from them instead of letting them bring you down. We're trying to get our mom to join in on the way we look at life, but I think that it will take some time longer. She has recently found out some things about her chilhood that she seemingly blocked out. These things are extremely troubling for her, and she doesn't know how to deal with them. Kevin and I have been telling her that since it has not affected her life so far, why let it now. We tried being nice about it, but the only way to get it through to her is to tell her to shut up and listen to you, you have to be a bit harsh with her. That's what we did, we told her how it is. At the time, she said that we were wrong, and that she won't be able to deal with what she found out, but now I think she may be getting it. After she told us what she was told, we were a bit shocked, but stood by our word. She'll come around, I know she will.
Things are moving forward in my life, and it is up to me to keep the momentum going. I got a new SLR recently, which I am extremely overjoyed about. The inheritance I am getting from my grandpa is helping me to do things I never thought possible, like buying the camera. My mom's lawsuit is finally settled, and that will allow us all to move on. We may even be moving. I think that I thought for so long that if I wanted change, and tried for it that it would just come. But, of course, that is not how things work. Everything takes time, and I have finally realized that. I have noticed it throught the changes I have experienced over the past several months. I did, however, want to be where I am now at the time, but it took longer. I am finally there, or almost there. There is no looking back.
I can honestly say that I am ready now. I told Kev that I haven't taken that leap yet because I was scared of the unkown. He told me, "You have to be uncomfortable to get comfortable." It was like, in a way, I knew that already but his saying it finally made it register. I have to put myself in situations that may be unccomfortable now to get to where I want to be. I realized a lot of things when he called me into his room about a week or so ago to listen to something, and we ended up talking for hours. He finally understands where I come from, and I better understand the same about him.
My dad has even become a better, more positive fixture in my life.
I have found one of my favorite places. It inspires me. It is in Corona Del Mar. I took my mom there a couple of weeks ago, and she was pretty blown away. She had no idea where I was taking her. Kevin, my dad, and I found it by accident a couple months ago. It's a coastal bluff that overlooks the ocean. There are jutting, sharp rocks far below that the waves crash into, and it is just beautiful. My mom and I got there when the sun was setting. I took pictures, that I may post at a later date since it is getting late and I would have to upload them off my camera.
I will leave you with a quote from a Tom Petty song that Andrew McMahon referenced in his blog. It seemed funny because it is how I feel at the moment.
"It's time to move on
It’s time to get going
What lies ahead I have no way of knowing
But under my feet, baby
The grass is growing
It's time to move on
It's time to get going"
- - Katy