life.
I used to be pretty content with my life.
Then a bunch of shit happened.
And now I'm back to being a fucking mess.
I will have a good day every once in a while,
but lately it's been more bad than good.
I don't know if it's directly related to the head injury or what, but it sucks.
I also used to smoke pot. Pretty heavily. Then I got a slp in the face from God.
One random day shortly after the first of this year, something (or Someone) made it pretty clear to me that I needed to STOP it.
So I did.
But then I would break. I'd go a week or so without, and then I would.
Now it has been about two months that I've stayed clean.
But lately I just want to smoke. SOOOO bad. I just want to relax and that really mellowed me out (of course.)
I've also tried (many times, always failing) to quit smoking ciggerettes. That is even harder to quit for some reason. I've cut WAY back, but I cant seem to drop it. And if I did, I know I my urge to smoke pot would worsen.
I quit going to college because I couldnt afford it and couldnt handle a full time job and full time school.
And now I've been on a medical leave from work for the past couple weeks to try and relieve some stress.
I switched my anxiety medicine and got some xanex too.
The new medicines seem to help me but, I'm still a wreck. I still cry myself to sleep some nights just dwelling on all this random shit, and I can't take it anymore.
I hate the way I am. Head injury or not, it fucking sucks being full of anxiety/depression all the fucking time. I hate it.
If anyone reads this, I'm not trying to get sympathy or anything. I don't want attention.
I am simply venting.
I would really appreciate some advice or words of encouragment or something. Anything that might help.
Please & Thank you.
Then a bunch of shit happened.
And now I'm back to being a fucking mess.
I will have a good day every once in a while,
but lately it's been more bad than good.
I don't know if it's directly related to the head injury or what, but it sucks.
I also used to smoke pot. Pretty heavily. Then I got a slp in the face from God.
One random day shortly after the first of this year, something (or Someone) made it pretty clear to me that I needed to STOP it.
So I did.
But then I would break. I'd go a week or so without, and then I would.
Now it has been about two months that I've stayed clean.
But lately I just want to smoke. SOOOO bad. I just want to relax and that really mellowed me out (of course.)
I've also tried (many times, always failing) to quit smoking ciggerettes. That is even harder to quit for some reason. I've cut WAY back, but I cant seem to drop it. And if I did, I know I my urge to smoke pot would worsen.
I quit going to college because I couldnt afford it and couldnt handle a full time job and full time school.
And now I've been on a medical leave from work for the past couple weeks to try and relieve some stress.
I switched my anxiety medicine and got some xanex too.
The new medicines seem to help me but, I'm still a wreck. I still cry myself to sleep some nights just dwelling on all this random shit, and I can't take it anymore.
I hate the way I am. Head injury or not, it fucking sucks being full of anxiety/depression all the fucking time. I hate it.
If anyone reads this, I'm not trying to get sympathy or anything. I don't want attention.
I am simply venting.
I would really appreciate some advice or words of encouragment or something. Anything that might help.
Please & Thank you.