Fag Hags are a Drag

[compass24]

 Hi everyone. Glad to have found you. I know this is a really long entry introductory post but I promise the rest will be shorter

Comments

Thoughts and Questions for Me

[taoistfairy]

As an older woman (45) in this community and still relatively new in our relationship (10 months) this post and the threads that followed it, have given me a lot to think about and prompted me to ask my partner (ftm) some questions. My partner is pre-everything except for his identity. He's had some counseling and has already decided how far he will go with his transition (T and top surgery only). In the past he has been very active in the GLBT community and I had always assumed that he would continue to be especially after his transition. I identify as queer since I have dated men, women, and now a trans person. That's fine with me as others have pointed out, the most important thing is to 'love the person, not the package'. So, since I make it a point to never assume anything, I asked my partner whether we would live openly as a trans couple or would we go 'straight' or 'stealth'. I was quite surprised and a little disconcerted when he said 'stealth'. He said he would still support the GLBT community but would probably not be active in it except to go to Pride Festivals and the like. I'm a VERY open and honest person, and to be quite frank, going 'stealth' at this point in time somehow seems unacceptable. Right now, I feel betrayed by this man that I love. I don't mind being perceived as a 'straight' couple to the outside (they don't know us) world, but to deceive the people who are going to come into our life in the future really upsets me. I know how badly he wants become the man he is and I'm both thankful and excited that he has the courage to change and that I get to be a partner in his journey. But...to give up the GLBT community and live solely as husband and wife? That's going to be pretty hard for me. I guess I'll have to talk to him some more.

Thanks for the forum to rant and I probably should have started my own thread about this, but since it was here that the question came to my mind, here shall it be posted...