New here. *waves*

[closer_to_fine]

My friend pointed me in the direction of this community, and after reading some of the public posts I decided to join. I won't burden you with the entire story of my life, but there are some things I'd like to share

Comments

[closer_to_fine]

Oh my god, I think I love your mother. That may be the best quote I've heard all day.

She has not requested to be addressed by male pronouns yet, but the minute she does I will happily comply. From our discussions I believe that transition is ultimately what she wants, but the fear of rejection by her family and peers has made her hesitant.

Thanks for the feedback- nice to know someone is reading.

[rinkori]

Different members of my family had different reactions. My mother and maternal grandmother, for example, are still having problems understanding/accepting that my partner is trans, and sometimes need to be corrected about pronouns and so forth. I think the biggest concern, though, is that they're afraid having a trans partner will somehow make me less happy or more disadvantaged in life, due to outside stigma or whatever else. My dad and stepmom on the other hand were 100% accepting and don't make a big deal about it. My partner's family were all varying degrees of supportive--even if they seemed hesitant or confused at first, with patience and some education people tend to come around, I think. People can surprise you with how quickly and well they adjust.

If your partner's seriously thinking about transition, it will probably eventually happen regardless of family or friends' objections. Best of luck to you and your partner no matter what ends up happening.

[closer_to_fine]

Thanks for telling me about your experience- every new story helps to allay my fears a little more.

[dirtymindspace]

My partner is pre-transition and his libido is also very low. I understand how frustrating it is. I was pretty uncompromising and basically told him he needed to try and work through it. We have tried experimenting with a range of things to see what turns him on and makes him feel comfortable. By doing this we have been able to have a fairly regular sex life. The hardest thing for me is to deal with is not feeling wanted.

He's just come out to my mum and sister and they have been surprisingly supportive (he assumes that everyone he tells is going to stand up, scream, and run away). His parents are also ok, except they don't talk about it. All our friends have been fine, despite having no experience with trans people. Even my sister's husband, who is very straight, just said, oh, ok, so when do we call him 'he'? We definitely built it up to be more scary than it actually has been.

[closer_to_fine]

Thank you for the encouragement. My partner has recently begun some treatments for her fatigue which seem to be helping her energy levels a lot, and by extension, her libido. It's nice to know that I'm not alone, though.

I think that we *are* building it up to be more scary than it will ultimately be, but we're building confidence one step at a time.

[ichbinkelsey]

I have to say, only a few members of my family know about my boyfriend's history, but the ones who do have been uniformly amazing about it, including my grandparents (who are lovely people, but not, like, LGBT educators or anything like that.) They've been incredibly cool with my boyfriend, they haven't treated him any differently than any other boy I've introduced them to and they haven't been weird about our relationship at all (and I have a super fine antenna for these kinds of things.) His own family has a little tougher for him, but particularly the family he's close to is coming around, if slowly. It's a process, but it's a worthwhile one, and it's one that people often do handle with a lot of grace.

Best of luck, and welcome.

[closer_to_fine]

Thank you! It's really nice to be able to get some "inside" perspectives, as it were. I don't expect to have absolutely no fallout, but I must admit to feeling relieved hearing so many say that it was less drama than they were expecting.

[geekkitten]

I've only known my boyfriend since his transition, but from what he's said people were pretty uniformly accepting, at least on the surface. The close friends he's had since before transition, the people who really know him, may have had their own private adjustment periods, or they may not have, but he is still the same person, and they all know that, and so their relationships haven't changed as a result

[ftmichael]

Sometimes my friends and family are so... straight. I don't mean hetero, 'cause I'm as hetero as the next straight gal - I guess I just mean clueless about the complexity of gender, in this case.
Heteronormative? Mainstream? Boring? ;)