Intro and Small Vent

[turtul]

 
I originally posted this in the ftm group, but was redirected here instead. I'm relieved that a group like this exists for partners of FTMs, since I didn't think my posting in the other community was appropriate.

I wanted to do two things with this post. One, introduce myself, and two, ask a question.

I'm Turtul, female, 22, straight. My boyfriend

Comments

[rinkori]

What you said about your boyfriend finding men more appealing really struck a chord with me. As my boyfriend transitioned, his sexual orientation changed, and he is now pretty much exclusively attracted to cisgendered men. As I'm a cisgendered woman, I have huge creeping feelings of inadequacy in the sex department, because I know that I'm absolutely not what my boyfriend's typically attracted to. Frequently I think that if he hadn't met me in a time in his life where he was primarily attracted to women, we wouldn't be in a relationship right now.

And because of that, it's hard for me not to take some of the issues related to his dysphoria personally. I know intellectually that sometimes he doesn't want to have sex just because he's not liking his body, but it's hard for me not to make the leap then to "if he doesn't like his body for its feminine qualities, he must really dislike my body's feminine qualities."

I wish I had more substantial advice to tell you, but I just wanted you to know you're not alone. The best thing seems to be just lots and lots of open communication, facilitated by couples' counseling if necessary. Thinking good thoughts for you and your partner.