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[sweetyd]

 Hi! My name is Danielle I'm a 21 bi female, I recently starting dating a MtoF who I've been friends with for awhile, this is also her first relationship being out as a transgendered person. She's going to therapy and will be starting some of the big changes this summer (laser hair removal, hormones, and breast implants). I know the whole

Comments

[aki_no_kaze]

you mentioned that you are bi, that is good as it dodges one of the major pitfalls, getting used to being seen as queer or straight (depending on which orientation the relationship was before transition).

other then that... the big ones are mainly biological. Infertility and impotence are common after HRT begins. Infertility generally kicks in between a few weeks to months to years after HRT... however some never lose their ability to impregnate so birth control should always be used unless you are willing to have a child together (I know a girl who had a child "the old fashioned way" 2 years after starting HRT).

Impotence, and other sexual issues can likewise start at any point. I personally was able to get erections hard enough for penetrative sex for almost 6 months, after which it became increasingly difficult to do so. You should prepare for the possibility that your partner may not be able to penetrate you at some point. Now this may or may not be accompanied by a drop in sexual desire. Some transwomen have no drive, others have tones, others change. This is greatly dependent on the person and the medications she is on. I had relatively low sex drive until I switched to a different type of estrogen and my drive exploded upwards.

Seeing a shrink is a good idea, especially one with experience with gender issues. Private as well as pair sessions would be a good idea.

[aleph]

I would second the shrink-seeing. Even pretty well-adjusted transpersons can have more baggage than either you or they completely suspect. Transition can make some pains and frustrations even keener, hormonal mood fluctuations aside. At least this has been true for myself and some friends and acquaintances.

It's not something I've often seen endanger a relationship, but it is something you may want to be ready for.