I've always been a fundamentally masculine person, and after my partner started transitioning, I spent a stupid and fruitless couple of months trying to be 'the girl'. See, prior to him telling me, I always figured us for being basically the same sort of critter- guyish, but not exactly male, and no way in hell standard-issue female. So, when he brought up his need to transition, it wasn't real surprising, but I kind of felt like his being able to step over the line into male... meant that I was now stuck back in female by comparison. Like I had been living my life in expatriate decadence over in Manland, but suddenly found my passport revoked and my butt deported back to the country of my birth.
Spent a couple of months trying to be 'the girl', which completely tanked and went under. Had a couple of gender epiphany moments of my own and wound up throwing all the femmy clobber out- and en femme for me just meant pink crap, not even heels or skirts. Figured out that the truth of things was that his identity and mine are totally separate beasts and there's no reason in God's green that I have to be 'the girl' just because he's 'the boy'; even if eventually we'll probably get read as a straight couple by most people. Besides, we're both bi and together we function more like a pair of gay guys than lesbians. (Never really got on with the lesbian community, anyway. Like my big mouth and locker room humor they did not.)
So yeah, to make a long story short, being a so-called 'heterosexual' couple consisting of the one M and one F demographic doesn't mean you have to go play Ward and June, or fight over who gets to wear the pants in the family. The world has enough pants for everybody. And in the same way that you probably would have never hooked up with your dude if you didn't like masculine people, he probably never would have hooked up with you if he didn't like butches.
Spent a couple of months trying to be 'the girl', which completely tanked and went under. Had a couple of gender epiphany moments of my own and wound up throwing all the femmy clobber out- and en femme for me just meant pink crap, not even heels or skirts. Figured out that the truth of things was that his identity and mine are totally separate beasts and there's no reason in God's green that I have to be 'the girl' just because he's 'the boy'; even if eventually we'll probably get read as a straight couple by most people. Besides, we're both bi and together we function more like a pair of gay guys than lesbians. (Never really got on with the lesbian community, anyway. Like my big mouth and locker room humor they did not.)
So yeah, to make a long story short, being a so-called 'heterosexual' couple consisting of the one M and one F demographic doesn't mean you have to go play Ward and June, or fight over who gets to wear the pants in the family. The world has enough pants for everybody. And in the same way that you probably would have never hooked up with your dude if you didn't like masculine people, he probably never would have hooked up with you if he didn't like butches.
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