It's not subjective...
I don't understand the point of "shaming" on twitter and facebook... well, actually, I do understand the point of it. It's to use the social media to make a person or a group of people feel embarrassed, ashamed or humiliated in order to get them to conform to a behavior that you feel is more appropriate.
That's a good definition, right?
I mean, someone goes to a restaurant and doesn't leave a tip (or an appropriate tip), you can post that on twitter or facebook or tumblr. This is done in order to force that that person/people/group to leave more money next time. Other people see the post, repost it and soon there is a whole group of people out there pointing out how "shameful" the behavior was and how this person or group fail at being decent human beings.
What I don't understand is how this differs from bullying.
Bullying is making someone feel ashamed or embarrassed in order to coerce them into changing a behavior. Okay -- the exact definition is "Use superior strength or influence to intimidate, typically to force him or her to do what one wants", but since intimidation certainly isn't limited to physical force, I think that using shame and embarrassment works here.
In fact, most bullying these days doesn't involve physical force at all. So much of bullying is about creating a situation where the bully gets others to help with the ridicule and humiliation -- usually by using sarcasm and insulting humor -- so that the target feels powerless and overwhelmed. And, let's face it, sarcasm and insulting humor is the cornerstone of a large amount of social media. How is this not bullying?
I know that there are people reading this who don't agree. There is the opinion that this behavior isn't "bullying" as long as it forces people to behave in a correct and good way. Conforming to the necessary societal norms helps us all. If using "shaming" forces people to do this, (the logic goes) how can that be wrong?
People need to leave an appropriate tip, because waitresses and waiters need that money as part of their pay. Public shaming will make them live up to that societal agreement.
And people that drive badly, who cause problems for others -- well, why call 1-800-reportme, when you can post it online, get more exposure. Plus, you get a ton of LOLs and "I agree all those guys are idiots" just to make you feel better.
And people who dress poorly, who wear clothes that are clearly not flattering, who look awful and offensive-- Well, hell, that just has to be shared because obviously shaming is the only way to get them to understand that they need to look pleasing to others before they leave the house. Besides, looking at all those stupid people who are in the pics at "seen at walmart" is so much fun, right? I mean, it makes you feel good because you're obviously better than them and it makes you feel part of the group of all those people who are equally disgusted and revolted by the pictures. Through shame and humiliation we can band together and force those misguided people into becoming more socially acceptable. Or make them fear going out so much that they just stay hidden away. That will make the world a better place for us, too. Win-win.
And sexual deviancy -- people who engage in So sorry. That's no longer a societally acceptable "shame target". Shaming based on sexual behavior is bullying. It's so 1950s and we're definitely over that.
Gotta keep up with societal changes here.
That's the problem with this type of Machiavellian ethics, it's inconsistent and changes with whims of those who make up "society". When it's the desired result that determines whether something is good or bad and not the behavior itself, there is no real right or wrong, it's all subjective.
Right and wrong isn't subjective. If the behavior inflicts pain or embarrassment, then it's wrong behavior. If you get pleasure from inflicting emotional distress other people, that also is wrong behavior.
Shaming is bullying and bullying is wrong. It doesn't matter who the target is.
That's a good definition, right?
I mean, someone goes to a restaurant and doesn't leave a tip (or an appropriate tip), you can post that on twitter or facebook or tumblr. This is done in order to force that that person/people/group to leave more money next time. Other people see the post, repost it and soon there is a whole group of people out there pointing out how "shameful" the behavior was and how this person or group fail at being decent human beings.
What I don't understand is how this differs from bullying.
Bullying is making someone feel ashamed or embarrassed in order to coerce them into changing a behavior. Okay -- the exact definition is "Use superior strength or influence to intimidate, typically to force him or her to do what one wants", but since intimidation certainly isn't limited to physical force, I think that using shame and embarrassment works here.
In fact, most bullying these days doesn't involve physical force at all. So much of bullying is about creating a situation where the bully gets others to help with the ridicule and humiliation -- usually by using sarcasm and insulting humor -- so that the target feels powerless and overwhelmed. And, let's face it, sarcasm and insulting humor is the cornerstone of a large amount of social media. How is this not bullying?
I know that there are people reading this who don't agree. There is the opinion that this behavior isn't "bullying" as long as it forces people to behave in a correct and good way. Conforming to the necessary societal norms helps us all. If using "shaming" forces people to do this, (the logic goes) how can that be wrong?
People need to leave an appropriate tip, because waitresses and waiters need that money as part of their pay. Public shaming will make them live up to that societal agreement.
And people that drive badly, who cause problems for others -- well, why call 1-800-reportme, when you can post it online, get more exposure. Plus, you get a ton of LOLs and "I agree all those guys are idiots" just to make you feel better.
And people who dress poorly, who wear clothes that are clearly not flattering, who look awful and offensive-- Well, hell, that just has to be shared because obviously shaming is the only way to get them to understand that they need to look pleasing to others before they leave the house. Besides, looking at all those stupid people who are in the pics at "seen at walmart" is so much fun, right? I mean, it makes you feel good because you're obviously better than them and it makes you feel part of the group of all those people who are equally disgusted and revolted by the pictures. Through shame and humiliation we can band together and force those misguided people into becoming more socially acceptable. Or make them fear going out so much that they just stay hidden away. That will make the world a better place for us, too. Win-win.
And sexual deviancy -- people who engage in So sorry. That's no longer a societally acceptable "shame target". Shaming based on sexual behavior is bullying. It's so 1950s and we're definitely over that.
Gotta keep up with societal changes here.
That's the problem with this type of Machiavellian ethics, it's inconsistent and changes with whims of those who make up "society". When it's the desired result that determines whether something is good or bad and not the behavior itself, there is no real right or wrong, it's all subjective.
Right and wrong isn't subjective. If the behavior inflicts pain or embarrassment, then it's wrong behavior. If you get pleasure from inflicting emotional distress other people, that also is wrong behavior.
Shaming is bullying and bullying is wrong. It doesn't matter who the target is.