Strive to be tremendously important ...
... so reads a sign on my way to work. I pass it everyday resulting in the same carnival of feelings.
Those who know me best probably are aware that I tend only to write anything pithy in an online journal when I need some modicum of therapy. So, here we are. What is it that is bothering me?
Work has begun to take its toll. It's interesting to observe how an occupation I once leapt from bed to pursue in the morning has degenerated in meaning and satisfaction in a manner reminiscent of Bush's approval rating. Now I feel that I must somehow shake myself loose of this funk. It all distills to the oozing product that I do not feel the least bit important. I feel the work that I do now - in stark contrast to the wonderful work that I was performing while working here in college - is a waste of my degree and dare I say potential. Again, for those that know me well, that statement doesn't come lightly owing to the habit that feel I am less than capable at anything, for I deserve little more. I have a manager that makes me feel stupid and inadequate - not that he's trying to do so, it is just an issue of dynamics.
Strive to be tremendously important ... I'd like that so very much ...
But where do I go from here? There are stirrings of better things, I should observe. I'm in slow, yet promising talks with two professors at Drexel about potential thesis work. We're informally discussing matters related evolvable systems and synthetic biology; yet further probings in an intellectual passion of mine of the interface between bits and atoms. It is hoped that a flame can be fanned that bridges my life at ATL and my life at Drexel. I'm still trying to find the narrowing of the waste across the divide that separates these two lives of mine. It would be tremendously exciting to work on what interests me again - to work on a subject that is tremendously important. It is not about fame, fortune, or status - I just want to feel that I matter. Of course I do matter in one of the most important ways a wayward can - I've a wife that I love tremendously. However, I need to be happier horizon-to-horizon as that should release any undue burden upon Danni that I might have misplaced upon her. I owe you so much Danni.
Strive to be tremendously important ...
I shall endeavor to do so via the best means I can identify.
Those who know me best probably are aware that I tend only to write anything pithy in an online journal when I need some modicum of therapy. So, here we are. What is it that is bothering me?
Work has begun to take its toll. It's interesting to observe how an occupation I once leapt from bed to pursue in the morning has degenerated in meaning and satisfaction in a manner reminiscent of Bush's approval rating. Now I feel that I must somehow shake myself loose of this funk. It all distills to the oozing product that I do not feel the least bit important. I feel the work that I do now - in stark contrast to the wonderful work that I was performing while working here in college - is a waste of my degree and dare I say potential. Again, for those that know me well, that statement doesn't come lightly owing to the habit that feel I am less than capable at anything, for I deserve little more. I have a manager that makes me feel stupid and inadequate - not that he's trying to do so, it is just an issue of dynamics.
Strive to be tremendously important ... I'd like that so very much ...
But where do I go from here? There are stirrings of better things, I should observe. I'm in slow, yet promising talks with two professors at Drexel about potential thesis work. We're informally discussing matters related evolvable systems and synthetic biology; yet further probings in an intellectual passion of mine of the interface between bits and atoms. It is hoped that a flame can be fanned that bridges my life at ATL and my life at Drexel. I'm still trying to find the narrowing of the waste across the divide that separates these two lives of mine. It would be tremendously exciting to work on what interests me again - to work on a subject that is tremendously important. It is not about fame, fortune, or status - I just want to feel that I matter. Of course I do matter in one of the most important ways a wayward can - I've a wife that I love tremendously. However, I need to be happier horizon-to-horizon as that should release any undue burden upon Danni that I might have misplaced upon her. I owe you so much Danni.
Strive to be tremendously important ...
I shall endeavor to do so via the best means I can identify.