(no subject)
i just got back from seeing elizabethtown and it was wonderful. it made me want to spin around in a field by myself and listen to tom petty. and whenever i see good movies i start to think. so i was thinking. and i was thinking about how much i've been looking forward to this year being over lately. because when this year is over, i can start my life. but the thing is, this is my life. whenever it's like a wednesday and it was just another day or maybe a below average day and i say "i wish it was friday" my mom always says that i shouldn't wish my life away. and that's what i'm doing. right now i'm just wishing for college. and then i'll be wishing for college to end. and then i'll be wishing for something else. and then something else. and i don't know when in all of that i'm going to be satisfied. if i continue waiting for something better and i'm always looking for greener grass then i never will be satisfied. i'm always trying to make people want to be my friend. i am always trying to make people see something in me. and i'm so so tired of trying so hard to be what everyone needs and then still not being enough. so i quit. and i don't mean that in a bitter "it's your loss, i don't need you" kind of way. i just mean that i'm going to be who i think i need to be and if that person is someone you'd like to spend time with then great. and if not, then that's okay. but the point is, i'm okay right now. things are perfect in their own way. i am right where i'm supposed to be right now. i've never seen grass so green.