(no subject)
This place has been rather empty of my thoughts for quite some time now. This time I suppose there really isn't any good excuse. Another lesson learned, for some things there are no excuses. And for the not so bright cookies out there, that wasn't just in references to my lack of LJ updates. It seems like I've just been messing up a lot lately. I don't like who I am or the things I'm doing. I just wish I had some sort of direction that can help me out. I had finally found my north star again only to bitterly have to watch the sun rise and take it away. No wonder I'm nocturnal. Things are just really rough right now. I messed up big time and now I have to pay the price. The worst part is in the end I know there's no one to blame but myself. I just need to find somewhere to be able to clear my head and my heart and figure out where to go from here. Figure out how to find and put back together all the pieces of my life that have gotten lost and scattered along the way. The only problem is there's so many of them missing now. So many pieces that have just gotten destroyed. So where does that leave me. I'm not good with starting over. I'm not good with having to say goodbye. Especially when it's not my choice. I mean, how do you say goodbye to something you don't want to let go. I'm suppose to love summer... but I guess that too can change.