(no subject)
"I'm growing older but not up
My metabolic rate is pleasantly stuck
Let those winds of time blow over my head
I'd rather die while I'm living than live while I'm dead"
~Jimmy Buffett
So the past few days have been an interesting experience. I've been doing a lot of reflection and thinking and things of that sort. With packing up my dorm and bringing it all back home and then unpacking I've come across so many things. I cleaned my room out at home of a lot of things before I unpacked and got rid of a ton of stuff. A bunch of stuff that I had been holding onto for some reason or another; stuffed animals, binders, old class stuff, and lots of stuff like that. It makes me a little sad though. This fall I start my junior year of college. I'm half way finished. It seems like I have to face the fact that I'm actually growing up. I wish I could go back and start high school all over again. I know it sounds crazy but I just want to be able to keep things they way they were and not have things keep changing. I don't want to have to move out and get a real job and all that. It just seems so permanant. I miss being a kid and doing kid things. I remember after lots of partying in highschool we decided that we would have to have sfun (sober fun). I want more of that. I wanna go to the aquarium, and the zoo, and play on a big playground, and play tag and red line (i used to love that game). I wanna go ice skating, and on a picnic, and just play and have fun. I just miss all the simple things that used to be enough. Now, it just seems so complicated. I'm tired of the choosing sides and being stuck in the middle. I'm tired of worrying about money. I'm tired of trying to impress people and have them choose me. I'm tired of competeing for affection and wondering when it is that just being me will be enough.
So if you agree with any of this and feel like some good old school fun this summer then just let me know. Because I've decided this summer for me is going to be an attempt to put off growing up for a little bit and just have some old school fun.
My metabolic rate is pleasantly stuck
Let those winds of time blow over my head
I'd rather die while I'm living than live while I'm dead"
~Jimmy Buffett
So the past few days have been an interesting experience. I've been doing a lot of reflection and thinking and things of that sort. With packing up my dorm and bringing it all back home and then unpacking I've come across so many things. I cleaned my room out at home of a lot of things before I unpacked and got rid of a ton of stuff. A bunch of stuff that I had been holding onto for some reason or another; stuffed animals, binders, old class stuff, and lots of stuff like that. It makes me a little sad though. This fall I start my junior year of college. I'm half way finished. It seems like I have to face the fact that I'm actually growing up. I wish I could go back and start high school all over again. I know it sounds crazy but I just want to be able to keep things they way they were and not have things keep changing. I don't want to have to move out and get a real job and all that. It just seems so permanant. I miss being a kid and doing kid things. I remember after lots of partying in highschool we decided that we would have to have sfun (sober fun). I want more of that. I wanna go to the aquarium, and the zoo, and play on a big playground, and play tag and red line (i used to love that game). I wanna go ice skating, and on a picnic, and just play and have fun. I just miss all the simple things that used to be enough. Now, it just seems so complicated. I'm tired of the choosing sides and being stuck in the middle. I'm tired of worrying about money. I'm tired of trying to impress people and have them choose me. I'm tired of competeing for affection and wondering when it is that just being me will be enough.
So if you agree with any of this and feel like some good old school fun this summer then just let me know. Because I've decided this summer for me is going to be an attempt to put off growing up for a little bit and just have some old school fun.