Life Realizations
Everyone always says that life changes so slowly you don't even realize it. But sometimes it's like something just triggers everything. It flips a switch that sends all the thoughts and feelings you had tucked away out into the openness of your mind and you just realize. What you realize could be anything. It's so strange to me. It's hard to even put into words what I'm feeling right now. I just need to figure out where I want to go. Not physically speaking just on a personal level. Who I want to be, the kind of person I want to feel like. There's just a lot of things I'm starting to not like about myself. I'm talking like low self esteem/depressed, just discontent. Where you do something and then wonder, why did I just do that. I want to stop being selfish and think about the bigger picture of things. Maybe is was Ghandi or Miller or Niebuhr, I don't really know. But somewhere between the beginning and end of writing there was just something. It's just there. I don't know what it is, but it's there. It's like tomorrow, everything could be different if I want it to. Only I have the power to change my life. I don't even know what I'm thinking right now. There's just too much running through my mind. I feel like just going outside and laying on the grass to look up and see the stars. I think that's what I want to do Friday, or sometime this weekend. I want to start taking better care of my body. I want to last forever. I feel like a little kid and I don't know why. I just feel like it's all set out plainly before me now.