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FINAL FANTASY XIII
THE ME PLAYTHROUGH BLOG
Because you really give a shit. :Db
I BEGIN TO PLAY FF13 IN ALL ITS MAJESTIC MAJESTY. ...unfortunately, I have an old school SDTV. While the graphics are still pretty there is a huge problem I will need to buy a new tv to resolve. I CANNOT READ THE BATTLE MENU. I can read most everything else fine. But thank god for AutoBattle or the game would have ended there for me. Autobattle-top option! OH SHI IMMA DIE means go to the last option. Jam X. You will use a potion. Everything becomes OKAY. You can get through the first two chapters on Autobattle, tho I am sad I wasn't able to input commands myself due to my sheer inability to read the menu. I will be purchasing a shiny new tv to rectify this. Anyway, I can't talk much about the battle thus far since the game took care of it for me. I don't mind this too much though, since I am pretty much NOTORIOUS for only using Attack because I am stingy as hell with MP, items, etc. and constantly going YOU CAN MAKE IT TO THE NEXT SAVE POINT. Maybe I'll use a tent. Maybe. Don't count on it! So it was business as normal for me, truth be told.
Oh wait, I can talk about battle animation. Sazh's bouncing is HILARIOUS. I really enjoy watching Vanille and Hope fight too. I love their long distance weapons. The fishing pole of doom is my favorite. Because it's a fishing pole of doom.
PLOT! They throw you right into Action. It starts with Lightning and Sazh on the train. They start a riot o' violence or something. Sazh spends a lot of time going \o/ WTF WOMAN and won massive points from me by clinging to Lightning when she was about to ditch him. Eff bravery. Crazy Soldier Girl was about to leave him in BFE. I decide I love Sazh. I am so far okay with Lightning.
Then it's SNOW TIME. Oh. My. God. I love me some dumb boys, I really do, guys. But when they're in the middle of a massacre and are all \o/ WE R BIG DAMN HEROES!!! Snow and NORA are pretty much all dumb kids. I will excuse it because they are clearly in over their heads and BSin' their way through things. But man, I was kinda embarrassed for them. Anyway, stuff happens. You get your first view of both Vanille and Hope. Vanille wins points for her voiceover stating that her first impression of Snow is that he's all talk. The little BANG =D helps too, I admit. Hope secures his place as a Complete Normal and possibly a Pansyass. Snow leads an assault. MOMS ARE TOUGH!! Until they die. Hope witnesses that mommy death from afar and promptly BSODs until Vanille ganks him around.
Snow spends a few minutes being sad about this, then decides to go find SEERRRAAAHHHH
Lightning is also on her way to find SERRRRAAAHHHHH with Sazh tagging along.
Hope wants to bitch Snow out for letting his mother die because he has the maturity of a 14 year ol--oh wait, that's appropriate. Anyway, he wants to bitch him out. Except his mother JUST DIED WITHIN THE LAST HOUR. And he is still traumashocked. Also, Snow is fucking huge so clearly yelling may result in some thrashing. So Hope just kind of goes D: D: D: and misses his chance. DX DX DX Vanille promptly takes advantage of his vulnerable state by talking him into the clearly BAD DECISION to follow Snow. I kind of really like Vanille even though I shouldn't. =D Here, lets make a bad decision! Its for your emotional welfare! =D
TO THE GREEN THING. It's a Failsee!
Blah blah blah. Wandering the Vestige thing. Snow just runs around yelling SEERRRAAAAHHH BABY UR HERO IS HERE. Hope hears him and is like "T_T...mofo." because the dude who ttly just let mom die is being a dumbass. Elsewhere, Lightning feels bad and this makes a door open. Sazh is appropriately baffled. Walkity walkity.
OH SNAP C-SOMETHING CORPSES. Basically, Laahsee who fail and don't do their Focus. They turn into appropriately grody monsters that are just the right degree of pathetic. :|a I am a fan of them, well done. I like how they twitch and spasm. Being one of these is considered a Fate Worst Than Death. Which explains why everyone haet Failsee, who curse people into being Laahsee. Don't blame them.
Snow RESCUES!!11111 Hope and Vanille from a pack o corpses. Then goes MAN why r kids here. BRB kids, saving wife. Hope is like D: DX D: and Vanille is all =D CHANCE GET. YOU NEED TO TALK TO HIM. For your emotional wellbeing! =D
Snow realizes after walking away. Derp. Leaving children alone in monster filled scary place... :|a :|a :|a o that IS a bad idea. And goes back for them.
Then some time Hope is like. Dude, you're here to save a laahsee? DX U WANNA SAVE A MONSTER BUT YOU COULDN'T...!!!
Lightning and Sazh talk about the laahsee and corpses. Sazh is like. Uh. Laahsee? Ttly better off dead. :\ Lightning gets pissy. I feel this will happen a lot.
Finally they all get to SEEERRRAAAAAHHHHH Stuff happens, she turns into CRYSTAL~ it's actually very pretty. Lightning punches Snow for being all NO SHE IZ OK SHEZ JUST SLEEPIN'!!1 Snow decides to talk to the Failsee. It involves going baaaaw take me instead. Lightning goes :\ and attacks it instead, cuz Snow is a pansyass. Lightning, Snow, and Sazh end up fighting the Failsee. O HAY ITS ANIMA. I KNOW HIM. MAN that takes me back. ...o rite.
So they fight Anima and then Anima goes bugfuck. Only Hope is sensible enough to run the fuck away.
He still gets tentacled with the rest of them though. Wishing now this Failsee had been named Ultros. Seafood Soup, Kiddies!
AND THEN--A VISION OF DOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
THE ME PLAYTHROUGH BLOG
Because you really give a shit. :Db
I BEGIN TO PLAY FF13 IN ALL ITS MAJESTIC MAJESTY. ...unfortunately, I have an old school SDTV. While the graphics are still pretty there is a huge problem I will need to buy a new tv to resolve. I CANNOT READ THE BATTLE MENU. I can read most everything else fine. But thank god for AutoBattle or the game would have ended there for me. Autobattle-top option! OH SHI IMMA DIE means go to the last option. Jam X. You will use a potion. Everything becomes OKAY. You can get through the first two chapters on Autobattle, tho I am sad I wasn't able to input commands myself due to my sheer inability to read the menu. I will be purchasing a shiny new tv to rectify this. Anyway, I can't talk much about the battle thus far since the game took care of it for me. I don't mind this too much though, since I am pretty much NOTORIOUS for only using Attack because I am stingy as hell with MP, items, etc. and constantly going YOU CAN MAKE IT TO THE NEXT SAVE POINT. Maybe I'll use a tent. Maybe. Don't count on it! So it was business as normal for me, truth be told.
Oh wait, I can talk about battle animation. Sazh's bouncing is HILARIOUS. I really enjoy watching Vanille and Hope fight too. I love their long distance weapons. The fishing pole of doom is my favorite. Because it's a fishing pole of doom.
PLOT! They throw you right into Action. It starts with Lightning and Sazh on the train. They start a riot o' violence or something. Sazh spends a lot of time going \o/ WTF WOMAN and won massive points from me by clinging to Lightning when she was about to ditch him. Eff bravery. Crazy Soldier Girl was about to leave him in BFE. I decide I love Sazh. I am so far okay with Lightning.
Then it's SNOW TIME. Oh. My. God. I love me some dumb boys, I really do, guys. But when they're in the middle of a massacre and are all \o/ WE R BIG DAMN HEROES!!! Snow and NORA are pretty much all dumb kids. I will excuse it because they are clearly in over their heads and BSin' their way through things. But man, I was kinda embarrassed for them. Anyway, stuff happens. You get your first view of both Vanille and Hope. Vanille wins points for her voiceover stating that her first impression of Snow is that he's all talk. The little BANG =D helps too, I admit. Hope secures his place as a Complete Normal and possibly a Pansyass. Snow leads an assault. MOMS ARE TOUGH!! Until they die. Hope witnesses that mommy death from afar and promptly BSODs until Vanille ganks him around.
Snow spends a few minutes being sad about this, then decides to go find SEERRRAAAHHHH
Lightning is also on her way to find SERRRRAAAHHHHH with Sazh tagging along.
Hope wants to bitch Snow out for letting his mother die because he has the maturity of a 14 year ol--oh wait, that's appropriate. Anyway, he wants to bitch him out. Except his mother JUST DIED WITHIN THE LAST HOUR. And he is still traumashocked. Also, Snow is fucking huge so clearly yelling may result in some thrashing. So Hope just kind of goes D: D: D: and misses his chance. DX DX DX Vanille promptly takes advantage of his vulnerable state by talking him into the clearly BAD DECISION to follow Snow. I kind of really like Vanille even though I shouldn't. =D Here, lets make a bad decision! Its for your emotional welfare! =D
TO THE GREEN THING. It's a Failsee!
Blah blah blah. Wandering the Vestige thing. Snow just runs around yelling SEERRRAAAAHHH BABY UR HERO IS HERE. Hope hears him and is like "T_T...mofo." because the dude who ttly just let mom die is being a dumbass. Elsewhere, Lightning feels bad and this makes a door open. Sazh is appropriately baffled. Walkity walkity.
OH SNAP C-SOMETHING CORPSES. Basically, Laahsee who fail and don't do their Focus. They turn into appropriately grody monsters that are just the right degree of pathetic. :|a I am a fan of them, well done. I like how they twitch and spasm. Being one of these is considered a Fate Worst Than Death. Which explains why everyone haet Failsee, who curse people into being Laahsee. Don't blame them.
Snow RESCUES!!11111 Hope and Vanille from a pack o corpses. Then goes MAN why r kids here. BRB kids, saving wife. Hope is like D: DX D: and Vanille is all =D CHANCE GET. YOU NEED TO TALK TO HIM. For your emotional wellbeing! =D
Snow realizes after walking away. Derp. Leaving children alone in monster filled scary place... :|a :|a :|a o that IS a bad idea. And goes back for them.
Then some time Hope is like. Dude, you're here to save a laahsee? DX U WANNA SAVE A MONSTER BUT YOU COULDN'T...!!!
Lightning and Sazh talk about the laahsee and corpses. Sazh is like. Uh. Laahsee? Ttly better off dead. :\ Lightning gets pissy. I feel this will happen a lot.
Finally they all get to SEEERRRAAAAAHHHHH Stuff happens, she turns into CRYSTAL~ it's actually very pretty. Lightning punches Snow for being all NO SHE IZ OK SHEZ JUST SLEEPIN'!!1 Snow decides to talk to the Failsee. It involves going baaaaw take me instead. Lightning goes :\ and attacks it instead, cuz Snow is a pansyass. Lightning, Snow, and Sazh end up fighting the Failsee. O HAY ITS ANIMA. I KNOW HIM. MAN that takes me back. ...o rite.
So they fight Anima and then Anima goes bugfuck. Only Hope is sensible enough to run the fuck away.
He still gets tentacled with the rest of them though. Wishing now this Failsee had been named Ultros. Seafood Soup, Kiddies!
AND THEN--A VISION OF DOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM