[Fic] Double Negative
Title: Double Negative
Author: parsnipchip
Original story: The Positive/Negative Meme, by pinkpapyrus
Pairing: Subaru/Yasu
Rating: PG for a little suggestiveness
Notes: This is a mess story about the internet. Oh, and the song I linked to is Not Over Yet by Klaxons, because it effectively has the same title as Subaru's solo Owari no Nai Tabi.
Inbox
Yasu
200800808 0215
Shibuyan… what’s your room number again? ^^;;
Sent messages
Yasu
20080808 0216
620. What?
Precisely twenty-two seconds after he sends the message, the phone in Subaru’s hotel room rings. He lets it ring eight times before he picks up.
“Hello, yeah, if it’s about the massage, I’m ready~,” he says in his best chatline voice.
Yasu laughs at him. “What are you on about?!”
Subaru feigns disappointment. “Oh, it’s only you. I was hoping it was that cute girl I talked to this afternoon…”
Yasu laughs. “You know, Kimi-kun was right, she was looking at him, not you. And you just asked me to call you, so you can’t be that surprised!”
“You could’ve just, y’know, crossed the corridor,” Subaru mumbles.
“Ahh, but this way I can keep watching everyone’s threads!” Yasu sounds way too serious about that.
“We could’ve done that here, together!” Subaru protests.
“Mm… but I don’t know if I want to know what other sites you look at when you’re by yourself…” He sounds too serious about that, too.
Subaru rolls his eyes, though it’s not as much fun when Yasu isn’t there to be disparaged by it. “Why would I be doing that, if I had you here with me?” he settles for saying in the end.
Yasu giggles. “What are you suggesting?”
Subaru has always thought Yasu’s tsukkomi is way too obvious, though he guesses he’d’ve got that one in himself. “All I’m saying is, Ryo and Uchi don’t seem to be paying too much attention to the internet anymore.”
“Well, if you like, I can steal DVDs from Tacchon too…”
“No you can’t. You’d have to ask him nicely,” is Subaru’s opinion.
Yasu laughs. “You’re probably right.” He goes quiet, and it makes Subaru uncomfortable, like Yasu doesn’t really have anything to say, he only called out of obligation, because he’s nice like that.
“Hey,” says Subaru, too loudly, in case Yasu wasn’t concentrating. “What’s more interesting than me?”
“What? Nothing!” says Yasu straight away. “Um. It’s just… I’ve just found out something shocking!”
“Oh? What?” Subaru hopes it’s dirty. It sounds like it is.
“Do you know what the letters ‘BJ’ really stand for in English?” Yasu sounds quite scandalised.
Subaru leers, even though Yasu can’t see it. “Oh yeah.”
He hears Yasu gasp, can imagine the look on his face. “How long have you known?!”
“Pretty much since we released the song - why do you think Hina said it was a bit naughty?” smirks Subaru.
“I… how did you find out?!”
“We Googled it! The letters, I mean. After Hina said the title they told us didn’t really make any sense in English.” It hadn’t exactly been a comfortable experience for all involved, but Subaru had found some of those YouTube links pretty entertaining. “I think I was with Yoko and Hina at the time… And Yoko had to call Ohkura right away to tell him… and Ryo too… And I told Maru, ‘cos it was funny.”
“…So am I the only one who you didn’t tell?!”
“I think we thought you might already know…” Subaru says casually.
Yasu makes some incomprehensible sounds of frustration, and Subaru cackles.
“I loved that song! I thought the explanation for the title they told us was pretty! I’m never going to see it in the same way again!” Yasu wails, sounding genuinely traumatised.
“Come on, now it’s even better, surely?” Subaru says gleefully.
He can hear Yasu pouting down the phone.
“And anyway,” Subaru goes on mercilessly, “Just what were you looking at to find that out?”
“Stop it!” Yasu whines. “I’m gonna tell everyone off tomorrow!”
Subaru is hardly scared by that. “Ahh, now I see why you wanted to stay in your own room… You’re busy.”
“No! It’s not like that!” Yasu squeaks.
“And you were the one accusing me of being up to no good! Shameful!” Now Subaru remembers why it’s so much fun talking to Yasu. “Ahh, this is what I’ve missed!” he says nostalgically.
“What?! The thing you miss is picking on me?!”
“Oh, you’re so funny when you’re angry! It’s about the only time,” Subaru sing-songs, laughing at Yasu’s outrage. Before Yasu can get even more worked up, he goes on. “C’mon now, think about it - when do I insult you the most? When I’ve not had a chance to talk to you. Don’t you think you should talk to me more often?”
There’s not a trace of anger left when Yasu responds only a second later. “That’s actually kind of sweet, y’know?”
“You weren’t hugged very much as a child, were you,” Subaru mutters, but his urge to tease has mysteriously left him.
“But anyway!” Yasu says suddenly and a little poutily. “There is more to do on a computer than dirty stuff, y’know! Nice things! Like fun memes!”
“Is that so,” says Subaru, amused that Yasu feels so defensive he needs to return to a discussion he’d previously come off worst in, just to try to clear his name. He decides it would be too easy to point out that it’s pretty suspicious to protest this much. He’s had his fun, and he’s feeling charitable now.
“Ryo-chan does a lot of music and stuff on his, you know,” Yasu explains earnestly. “He’s been showing me, I’ve learnt a lot! It looks really useful,” he enthuses.
“Oh, so that’s what you’ve been doing with Ryo,” Subaru says knowingly, letting Yasu off lightly again.
“Yes!” Yasu says very quickly and more emphatically than necessary. “He wanted to ask me for some guitar tips, and we got talking about it.”
Subaru feels inexplicably prickled at that explanation. He tells himself it’s because he wants to be asked for guitar tips, even though he knows Ryo is a better guitarist than himself. He can hear music on Yasu’s end of the line, so it’s his turn to change the topic now. “What are you listening to now?”
“It’s a song called Not Over Yet. It always makes me think of you.”
Subaru listens. It sounds tinny down the phone, and he doesn’t understand the English words, but he gets it. “That’s a pretty good song,” he says after a few moments.
“Isn’t it? I’ll send you it,” Yasu says. “I got it from Ryo-chan,” he adds casually. “He gave me a bunch of cool songs. I’ll play you them later.”
“Great.” Subaru pretends to be preoccupied, even though Yasu can’t see him. He thinks that’s why Yasu’s suddenly so quiet too, and he’s about to say something - maybe even apologise for his disinterested response - when Yasu speaks again.
“I was just thinking, Ryo’s so happy since Uchi came back.” Subaru can hear the smile in his voice, and the embarrassing twitch of absolutely-not-jealousy he’d been feeling melts completely.
“I know what you mean,” he agrees. He hadn’t thought about it before, but it makes perfect sense when Yasu says it. Of course, Yasu notices things like that.
“So are you,” says Yasu softly.
Subaru doesn’t know what to say to that. He hasn’t wanted to think about it. “…You think so?”
“Mmm, I think we all are. But I’ve noticed it in you the most,” Yasu goes on.
Subaru thinks again that Yasu knows him best. It’s always a thought he finds reassuring; even at his most cynical, it makes him feel kinder.
“Hey… where’s your thread?” Yasu says suddenly.
“Eh?”
“Your positive-negative thread. You didn’t post one,” Yasu goes on. His voice is oddly gentle.
Subaru doesn’t know what to say. “I know what you guys think of me. And you know I prefer to commentate on other people’s actions.” It’s not a lie, but Subaru isn’t sure how much of the truth it is.
“Shall I tell you what I’d’ve put, if you’d done it?” Yasu asks softly.
Subaru doesn’t say anything. He’s glad they’re talking on the phone. He can imagine Yasu, lying in bed with the lights off. Subaru turns the last light off in his own room and gets under the covers, shuts the lid on his laptop.
He didn’t reply, but Yasu starts talking anyway. “You’re moody. You’re changeable. Sometimes I can’t get near you, and it makes me sad.”
Subaru feels like the bottom has dropped out of his stomach, and all that’s left is cold water. He doesn’t move, doesn’t breathe.
“But that’s you. You’re passionate. You care about things that no-one else would. You’re just you, you’re honest. I wouldn’t change any of the negatives about you, because you wouldn’t be you then.” Yasu pauses, gives a soft laugh. “I know you’re going to think I’m being silly, acting like a girl, but I mean it! I respect you, I like writing songs with you… I just… like you,” he says finally.
Subaru doesn’t know what to say. He hadn’t been expecting all that.
“That was a few more positives than negatives, huh?” chuckles Yasu. It’s not a big deal to Yasu, thinks Subaru. He says ‘like’ and ‘love’ like everyday words - he’s so free with them they don’t embarrass him. Subaru thinks it should make them mean less, but he never doubts Yasu means them with his whole heart.
He hesitates for what feels like far too long before he says “Of course.” It’s lame, and he could’ve done much better, but he can’t summon a gram of malice, real or pretend, for a person good enough to tell him those things, straight, and mean them.
“And so modest too, I forgot that one!” Yasu laughs. “But ah, are you getting tired? It’s 4am! I’m sorry, I kept you talking…”
“I’m fine,” says Subaru, though he is tired, lying in bed in the dark. He feels like Yasu is there with him, and if he turned onto his side he’d see his outline on the bed next to him. “Are you?”
“I’m getting a little sleepy, but if you’re not it’s OK.” He certainly sounds sleepy. “It’s always great to talk to you,” he murmurs.
Subaru’s glad Yasu says it, because it gives him the chance to say “You make it sound like you haven’t even seen me in months.”
“I’m sorry I’ve been busy,” says Yasu, and the way he says it makes Subaru feel like it should be him who’s apologising.
“That’s OK,” he says instead. “If you’re tired, you should sleep.”
“Is that alright?”
“You don’t have to ask my permission, stupid!” Subaru says. His voice is too loud and it makes him wince.
Yasu just laughs softly. “OK then, I’m gonna go. And you should get to sleep too!”
“Yeah. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Today, in fact!”
“Good night.”
“’Night night.”
Subaru suddenly feels alone, and not tired at all. He’s cold and when he looks at the window he can see the faintest glow of dawn light.
He thinks about what Yasu said about him and wonders why he said all that. He wonders how long Yasu’s wanted a chance to say those things to him. Wonders if, maybe, that’s what Yasu was thinking of when he posted the meme in the first place.
For someone supposedly so honest, Subaru realises he’s omitted to mention a very important detail.
He opens up his laptop again and logs back into LiveJournal.
Anonymous 2008-08-08 5:08 am (local)
I love you more than anyone.
END
While I'm on, spurious remixed my ficlet Bad Kid for jentfic_remix and did a really good job! :D Her take is called With a Little Help From My Friends. I would like to take this opportunity to encourage any and all remixing of my stories. XD I love reading other people's takes on my ideas! Especially in the Bad Kid setting, actually. I liked that one. :D
I've also been working on Ryuuko's story while I've been away. XD And I have some of Ryoko's done at home. *whistles innocently* >D
Author: parsnipchip
Original story: The Positive/Negative Meme, by pinkpapyrus
Pairing: Subaru/Yasu
Rating: PG for a little suggestiveness
Notes: This is a mess story about the internet. Oh, and the song I linked to is Not Over Yet by Klaxons, because it effectively has the same title as Subaru's solo Owari no Nai Tabi.
Inbox
Yasu
200800808 0215
Shibuyan… what’s your room number again? ^^;;
Sent messages
Yasu
20080808 0216
620. What?
Precisely twenty-two seconds after he sends the message, the phone in Subaru’s hotel room rings. He lets it ring eight times before he picks up.
“Hello, yeah, if it’s about the massage, I’m ready~,” he says in his best chatline voice.
Yasu laughs at him. “What are you on about?!”
Subaru feigns disappointment. “Oh, it’s only you. I was hoping it was that cute girl I talked to this afternoon…”
Yasu laughs. “You know, Kimi-kun was right, she was looking at him, not you. And you just asked me to call you, so you can’t be that surprised!”
“You could’ve just, y’know, crossed the corridor,” Subaru mumbles.
“Ahh, but this way I can keep watching everyone’s threads!” Yasu sounds way too serious about that.
“We could’ve done that here, together!” Subaru protests.
“Mm… but I don’t know if I want to know what other sites you look at when you’re by yourself…” He sounds too serious about that, too.
Subaru rolls his eyes, though it’s not as much fun when Yasu isn’t there to be disparaged by it. “Why would I be doing that, if I had you here with me?” he settles for saying in the end.
Yasu giggles. “What are you suggesting?”
Subaru has always thought Yasu’s tsukkomi is way too obvious, though he guesses he’d’ve got that one in himself. “All I’m saying is, Ryo and Uchi don’t seem to be paying too much attention to the internet anymore.”
“Well, if you like, I can steal DVDs from Tacchon too…”
“No you can’t. You’d have to ask him nicely,” is Subaru’s opinion.
Yasu laughs. “You’re probably right.” He goes quiet, and it makes Subaru uncomfortable, like Yasu doesn’t really have anything to say, he only called out of obligation, because he’s nice like that.
“Hey,” says Subaru, too loudly, in case Yasu wasn’t concentrating. “What’s more interesting than me?”
“What? Nothing!” says Yasu straight away. “Um. It’s just… I’ve just found out something shocking!”
“Oh? What?” Subaru hopes it’s dirty. It sounds like it is.
“Do you know what the letters ‘BJ’ really stand for in English?” Yasu sounds quite scandalised.
Subaru leers, even though Yasu can’t see it. “Oh yeah.”
He hears Yasu gasp, can imagine the look on his face. “How long have you known?!”
“Pretty much since we released the song - why do you think Hina said it was a bit naughty?” smirks Subaru.
“I… how did you find out?!”
“We Googled it! The letters, I mean. After Hina said the title they told us didn’t really make any sense in English.” It hadn’t exactly been a comfortable experience for all involved, but Subaru had found some of those YouTube links pretty entertaining. “I think I was with Yoko and Hina at the time… And Yoko had to call Ohkura right away to tell him… and Ryo too… And I told Maru, ‘cos it was funny.”
“…So am I the only one who you didn’t tell?!”
“I think we thought you might already know…” Subaru says casually.
Yasu makes some incomprehensible sounds of frustration, and Subaru cackles.
“I loved that song! I thought the explanation for the title they told us was pretty! I’m never going to see it in the same way again!” Yasu wails, sounding genuinely traumatised.
“Come on, now it’s even better, surely?” Subaru says gleefully.
He can hear Yasu pouting down the phone.
“And anyway,” Subaru goes on mercilessly, “Just what were you looking at to find that out?”
“Stop it!” Yasu whines. “I’m gonna tell everyone off tomorrow!”
Subaru is hardly scared by that. “Ahh, now I see why you wanted to stay in your own room… You’re busy.”
“No! It’s not like that!” Yasu squeaks.
“And you were the one accusing me of being up to no good! Shameful!” Now Subaru remembers why it’s so much fun talking to Yasu. “Ahh, this is what I’ve missed!” he says nostalgically.
“What?! The thing you miss is picking on me?!”
“Oh, you’re so funny when you’re angry! It’s about the only time,” Subaru sing-songs, laughing at Yasu’s outrage. Before Yasu can get even more worked up, he goes on. “C’mon now, think about it - when do I insult you the most? When I’ve not had a chance to talk to you. Don’t you think you should talk to me more often?”
There’s not a trace of anger left when Yasu responds only a second later. “That’s actually kind of sweet, y’know?”
“You weren’t hugged very much as a child, were you,” Subaru mutters, but his urge to tease has mysteriously left him.
“But anyway!” Yasu says suddenly and a little poutily. “There is more to do on a computer than dirty stuff, y’know! Nice things! Like fun memes!”
“Is that so,” says Subaru, amused that Yasu feels so defensive he needs to return to a discussion he’d previously come off worst in, just to try to clear his name. He decides it would be too easy to point out that it’s pretty suspicious to protest this much. He’s had his fun, and he’s feeling charitable now.
“Ryo-chan does a lot of music and stuff on his, you know,” Yasu explains earnestly. “He’s been showing me, I’ve learnt a lot! It looks really useful,” he enthuses.
“Oh, so that’s what you’ve been doing with Ryo,” Subaru says knowingly, letting Yasu off lightly again.
“Yes!” Yasu says very quickly and more emphatically than necessary. “He wanted to ask me for some guitar tips, and we got talking about it.”
Subaru feels inexplicably prickled at that explanation. He tells himself it’s because he wants to be asked for guitar tips, even though he knows Ryo is a better guitarist than himself. He can hear music on Yasu’s end of the line, so it’s his turn to change the topic now. “What are you listening to now?”
“It’s a song called Not Over Yet. It always makes me think of you.”
Subaru listens. It sounds tinny down the phone, and he doesn’t understand the English words, but he gets it. “That’s a pretty good song,” he says after a few moments.
“Isn’t it? I’ll send you it,” Yasu says. “I got it from Ryo-chan,” he adds casually. “He gave me a bunch of cool songs. I’ll play you them later.”
“Great.” Subaru pretends to be preoccupied, even though Yasu can’t see him. He thinks that’s why Yasu’s suddenly so quiet too, and he’s about to say something - maybe even apologise for his disinterested response - when Yasu speaks again.
“I was just thinking, Ryo’s so happy since Uchi came back.” Subaru can hear the smile in his voice, and the embarrassing twitch of absolutely-not-jealousy he’d been feeling melts completely.
“I know what you mean,” he agrees. He hadn’t thought about it before, but it makes perfect sense when Yasu says it. Of course, Yasu notices things like that.
“So are you,” says Yasu softly.
Subaru doesn’t know what to say to that. He hasn’t wanted to think about it. “…You think so?”
“Mmm, I think we all are. But I’ve noticed it in you the most,” Yasu goes on.
Subaru thinks again that Yasu knows him best. It’s always a thought he finds reassuring; even at his most cynical, it makes him feel kinder.
“Hey… where’s your thread?” Yasu says suddenly.
“Eh?”
“Your positive-negative thread. You didn’t post one,” Yasu goes on. His voice is oddly gentle.
Subaru doesn’t know what to say. “I know what you guys think of me. And you know I prefer to commentate on other people’s actions.” It’s not a lie, but Subaru isn’t sure how much of the truth it is.
“Shall I tell you what I’d’ve put, if you’d done it?” Yasu asks softly.
Subaru doesn’t say anything. He’s glad they’re talking on the phone. He can imagine Yasu, lying in bed with the lights off. Subaru turns the last light off in his own room and gets under the covers, shuts the lid on his laptop.
He didn’t reply, but Yasu starts talking anyway. “You’re moody. You’re changeable. Sometimes I can’t get near you, and it makes me sad.”
Subaru feels like the bottom has dropped out of his stomach, and all that’s left is cold water. He doesn’t move, doesn’t breathe.
“But that’s you. You’re passionate. You care about things that no-one else would. You’re just you, you’re honest. I wouldn’t change any of the negatives about you, because you wouldn’t be you then.” Yasu pauses, gives a soft laugh. “I know you’re going to think I’m being silly, acting like a girl, but I mean it! I respect you, I like writing songs with you… I just… like you,” he says finally.
Subaru doesn’t know what to say. He hadn’t been expecting all that.
“That was a few more positives than negatives, huh?” chuckles Yasu. It’s not a big deal to Yasu, thinks Subaru. He says ‘like’ and ‘love’ like everyday words - he’s so free with them they don’t embarrass him. Subaru thinks it should make them mean less, but he never doubts Yasu means them with his whole heart.
He hesitates for what feels like far too long before he says “Of course.” It’s lame, and he could’ve done much better, but he can’t summon a gram of malice, real or pretend, for a person good enough to tell him those things, straight, and mean them.
“And so modest too, I forgot that one!” Yasu laughs. “But ah, are you getting tired? It’s 4am! I’m sorry, I kept you talking…”
“I’m fine,” says Subaru, though he is tired, lying in bed in the dark. He feels like Yasu is there with him, and if he turned onto his side he’d see his outline on the bed next to him. “Are you?”
“I’m getting a little sleepy, but if you’re not it’s OK.” He certainly sounds sleepy. “It’s always great to talk to you,” he murmurs.
Subaru’s glad Yasu says it, because it gives him the chance to say “You make it sound like you haven’t even seen me in months.”
“I’m sorry I’ve been busy,” says Yasu, and the way he says it makes Subaru feel like it should be him who’s apologising.
“That’s OK,” he says instead. “If you’re tired, you should sleep.”
“Is that alright?”
“You don’t have to ask my permission, stupid!” Subaru says. His voice is too loud and it makes him wince.
Yasu just laughs softly. “OK then, I’m gonna go. And you should get to sleep too!”
“Yeah. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Today, in fact!”
“Good night.”
“’Night night.”
Subaru suddenly feels alone, and not tired at all. He’s cold and when he looks at the window he can see the faintest glow of dawn light.
He thinks about what Yasu said about him and wonders why he said all that. He wonders how long Yasu’s wanted a chance to say those things to him. Wonders if, maybe, that’s what Yasu was thinking of when he posted the meme in the first place.
For someone supposedly so honest, Subaru realises he’s omitted to mention a very important detail.
He opens up his laptop again and logs back into LiveJournal.
Anonymous 2008-08-08 5:08 am (local)
I love you more than anyone.
END
While I'm on, spurious remixed my ficlet Bad Kid for jentfic_remix and did a really good job! :D Her take is called With a Little Help From My Friends. I would like to take this opportunity to encourage any and all remixing of my stories. XD I love reading other people's takes on my ideas! Especially in the Bad Kid setting, actually. I liked that one. :D
I've also been working on Ryuuko's story while I've been away. XD And I have some of Ryoko's done at home. *whistles innocently* >D