A Seaside Story (part 34)
Wow, been a while, right? XD But it isn't dead!! I WILL finish. XD Just... not for a little while XD
Subaru is surprised that Maruyama isn't around for breakfast the next morning.
"He went out very early," Sadako tells him. "I expect he wanted to photograph the sunrise or some such."
Maruyama stays out all day, but he's there for dinner.
"Did you take some good photos?" Subaru asks. He's a little surprised at his own friendliness, and he's sure Sadako must be too. He's sure she's filing it all away somewhere in her extensive mental library, filled with observations about his behaviour.
"Oh yeah, loads!" enthuses Maruyama. "The island's really pretty! And I met a gentleman who said he'd take me out on his boat tomorrow morning, let me get some offshore shots!"
"Mr Tsuji? Yeah, he's cool," says Subaru honestly. "Can't believe you spent a whole day here and haven't run out of things to take pictures of yet though," he says, shaking his head.
"No, you've got to look," explains Maruyama earnestly. "You can see interesting things all over if you try hard enough. This is like... training myself to spot them," he says.
Subaru thinks that finding them here is probably some pretty intense training. You'd need some skills. It occurs to him that this particular kind of positivity reminds him of someone. "Hey, do you wanna come over to the bar for a drink? I've got a friend who lives in town, we can call for him."
Maruyama smiles that guileless smile again. "That sounds great!" he enthuses.
When Subaru's done with his chores he leads Maruyama through the dark streets to Yasuda's place.
"Ah!" Yasuda exclaims as soon as he lays eyes on Maruyama. "Hello again!" He starts to laugh, and so does Maruyama.
Subaru looks between them, waiting for an explanation.
"We met on the beach earlier," says Yasuda. "Did you get some good photos?"
"Oh, yes!" says Maruyama. "That spot you recommended was great, I got some great light effects on the water."
"You see all kinds of birds there too," Yasuda goes on as they walk over to the bar. "Fish as well, but of course that's more if you dive..."
"Do you? Dive, I mean," asks Maruyama.
Subaru is thinking he might as well go home. They clearly don't need any contribution from him!
"Yes, it's my real passion," says Yasuda, smiling a little bashfully. "Do you like diving too?"
Subaru is almost hoping he says no; otherwise there really is no point him being here! If Yasuda gets started they'll be on about it all night!
"Yes," Maruyama says and Subaru's heart sinks a little. "Though I've only done it a few times, on holiday, y'know."
"Well, if you wanted I could take you down round the island," Yasuda says with a smile. "I dive for pearls, you should come and see!"
"Wow, pearls!" Maruyama is suitably impressed.
Subaru is starting to feel really quite irked and he doesn't know why. It's not like he's ever tried to take on the role of top social leader, bringing people together; this town isn't even his real territory, just somewhere he's been stuck. But he somehow feels like they've ignored him very thoughtlessly, when really he's the one who needs all the support he can get in this desolate little place! He tries not to drift off while they continue to talk animatedly about the charms of the island - charms Subaru has yet to come to appreciate, despite his continued exposure. In the end he stops trying to fight it and just lets it wash over him. After all, it's not like he needs to try! They're getting along fine without him, and trying is not his natural state of being.
“Thanks for taking me out, it was kind of you! I had a lot of fun!” Maruyama says as they head back to the inn later. Subaru thought it would be a little inhospitable to just leave him there.
“Yeah, surprising right?” Subaru says dryly. “I bet you didn't come here for fun.”
Maruyama chuckles. “It's like I said,” he stresses. “You have to look for it.”
The next evening, after being gone all day again, Maruyama invites Subaru out to the inn again. Subaru is torn. On the one hand, he quite likes Maruyama and would like to hang out with him more - it beats sitting in his room staring at the TV by a long way. But on the other hand, yesterday when Yasuda was there Subaru felt outshone in every way. Yasuda has an interesting (if bizarre) job, is easy to talk to, smiles a lot, and - most importantly - has things in his life that he can talk about freely. That group of things, for Subaru, is rather more limited. Maruyama had in fact heard all available information about Subaru by the time he’d said “I’m Subaru, I’m here working for the old lady”.
The solution would seem to be, to go out with Maruyama but not invite Yasuda this time. But that feels stupid, like Maruyama will know his reasoning and see how churlish he’s being. After all, after seeing them interact, Subaru has to admit that Yasuda is fun and charming (by some standards) - annoyingly so. So maybe if Subaru doesn’t invite him this time and things get boring or stilted, Maruyama won’t ask again. And then it’ll be back to staring at the TV for Subaru anyway.
So, feeling like a doomed man anyway, he goes along and, trying not to sound awkward, invites Yasuda too, who agrees happily.
Subaru, to his relief, soon realises that actually this is quite fun after all. Maruyama is actually very entertaining company, especially after a couple of beers - the old men in the inn are giving them some very odd looks as they get more animated, but that pleases Subaru somehow. It’s been a long time since he’s had the opportunity to cause a stir, liven things up a bit, and this way no-one can even blame him for it!
Another thing Subaru can’t help noticing is just how tactile Maruyama is. He reaches out and touches both Subaru and Yasuda, putting a hand on their arm or shoulder as they laugh and joke together. It’s a bit of a new experience for Subaru - his old pals would sling an arm round his shoulders and stuff, but that was in a macho, bro-ish kind of way. This feels... friendly, as if Maruyama just wants to put them at ease, to reassure them he’s having fun and that he... likes them.
It’s a bit of an unfamiliar feeling to Subaru, but he’s used to those now. And this one makes him feel pleased, so he’ll accept it gladly. It’s nice to feel like he’s met someone who seems to be on a similar wavelength. Maruyama insists they both call him Maru, and somewhere along the line he starts calling Yasuda Yasu, and before he knows it, Subaru finds himself doing it too. It almost feels like the three of them are long-lost mates, who haven’t seen each other in 15 years but are able to pick up exactly where they left off. Subaru actually feels encouraged that there are people he can click with like that. If it can happen here, it can happen at home.
They go out again the next night, somewhat to the consternation of the inn staff, who have probably never encountered anything like the three of them together - Maru is interestingly eccentric, and Subaru finds it all too easy to egg him on and join in. He’s glad he’s managed to shake the feeling of being a third wheel - Maru makes it easy to be around him, even with Yasu there too, and the situation is aided by the addition of beer - the cause of, and solution to, all life’s problems. Subaru thinks he saw that on a t-shirt once.
The next night Subaru suggests they go again, but Maru turns him down. “It’s such a clear night tonight, I thought I’d get some good photos! Do you want to come along?”
“Sure,” Subaru agrees right away. Of course, Yasu is along for the ride too, and they go down to the beach where a crescent moon is reflecting off the calm sea, to the gentle sound of the tide lapping the shore.
It’s very different to sitting in the inn. Maru is tranquil like the sea, focussing on his photography and murmuring to Yasu about exposures and apertures, which aren’t nearly as exciting as they sound. Yasu talks quietly but animatedly about the sea, the fish, the life of the island, and Maru nods, smiling, looking almost excited to be sitting very still and whispering occasionally. Subaru feels like this is a world he couldn’t be a part of even if he wanted to. How long has he been here now? And yet he’s still an outsider. Maru has been here a few days, and he looks like he’s fitting right in. Subaru is right back at square one, yet again.
Subaru is aware of a weird kind of atmosphere, a bubble that seems to envelope the other two more and more completely while he drifts further and further away. He felt like a third wheel before, but in an awkward way, not like this. This feels almost like intrusion, and it’s not comical at all. He doesn’t feel inferior, inadequate - he feels cut off, like he’s seeing something on TV. Or even like he just isn’t the right tool for the job. The thought is creeping into his mind that maybe Yasu has designs on Maru - after all, a young, handsome, friendly guy delivered right to his doorstep, Yasu’s already said that that doesn’t happen very often... Subaru doesn’t know, of course, but he’d imagine this is the sort of opportunity a young gay guy with no other outlet for his... urges might not be able to resist. He wonders if Maru suspects anything - he wouldn’t be expecting it, that’s for sure! And even if he has noticed anything, maybe he’s too polite to let it show. Subaru thinks he’d better hang around, make sure Yasu doesn’t try anything. Even if he does feel a bit like a spare part right now.
He doesn’t want to look at them, his eyes seem to turn themselves away. He stares out at the water and tries for a minute to see what they’re seeing, feel the enthusiasm they’re feeling. He guesses this kind of minimalist environment really makes you value what’s there around you. It’s like Maru says, you have to look for it. Or maybe you have to see what’s there, not try and find what you want to see.
He tries to appreciate the calm and the tranquility, but all he can see is the vast emptiness of the sea. He suddenly feels very far from everyone he knows, even though Yasu and Maru are only a few metres away. He’s been getting by here on resentment and bitterness, but right now he feels very alone.
TBC
Subaru is surprised that Maruyama isn't around for breakfast the next morning.
"He went out very early," Sadako tells him. "I expect he wanted to photograph the sunrise or some such."
Maruyama stays out all day, but he's there for dinner.
"Did you take some good photos?" Subaru asks. He's a little surprised at his own friendliness, and he's sure Sadako must be too. He's sure she's filing it all away somewhere in her extensive mental library, filled with observations about his behaviour.
"Oh yeah, loads!" enthuses Maruyama. "The island's really pretty! And I met a gentleman who said he'd take me out on his boat tomorrow morning, let me get some offshore shots!"
"Mr Tsuji? Yeah, he's cool," says Subaru honestly. "Can't believe you spent a whole day here and haven't run out of things to take pictures of yet though," he says, shaking his head.
"No, you've got to look," explains Maruyama earnestly. "You can see interesting things all over if you try hard enough. This is like... training myself to spot them," he says.
Subaru thinks that finding them here is probably some pretty intense training. You'd need some skills. It occurs to him that this particular kind of positivity reminds him of someone. "Hey, do you wanna come over to the bar for a drink? I've got a friend who lives in town, we can call for him."
Maruyama smiles that guileless smile again. "That sounds great!" he enthuses.
When Subaru's done with his chores he leads Maruyama through the dark streets to Yasuda's place.
"Ah!" Yasuda exclaims as soon as he lays eyes on Maruyama. "Hello again!" He starts to laugh, and so does Maruyama.
Subaru looks between them, waiting for an explanation.
"We met on the beach earlier," says Yasuda. "Did you get some good photos?"
"Oh, yes!" says Maruyama. "That spot you recommended was great, I got some great light effects on the water."
"You see all kinds of birds there too," Yasuda goes on as they walk over to the bar. "Fish as well, but of course that's more if you dive..."
"Do you? Dive, I mean," asks Maruyama.
Subaru is thinking he might as well go home. They clearly don't need any contribution from him!
"Yes, it's my real passion," says Yasuda, smiling a little bashfully. "Do you like diving too?"
Subaru is almost hoping he says no; otherwise there really is no point him being here! If Yasuda gets started they'll be on about it all night!
"Yes," Maruyama says and Subaru's heart sinks a little. "Though I've only done it a few times, on holiday, y'know."
"Well, if you wanted I could take you down round the island," Yasuda says with a smile. "I dive for pearls, you should come and see!"
"Wow, pearls!" Maruyama is suitably impressed.
Subaru is starting to feel really quite irked and he doesn't know why. It's not like he's ever tried to take on the role of top social leader, bringing people together; this town isn't even his real territory, just somewhere he's been stuck. But he somehow feels like they've ignored him very thoughtlessly, when really he's the one who needs all the support he can get in this desolate little place! He tries not to drift off while they continue to talk animatedly about the charms of the island - charms Subaru has yet to come to appreciate, despite his continued exposure. In the end he stops trying to fight it and just lets it wash over him. After all, it's not like he needs to try! They're getting along fine without him, and trying is not his natural state of being.
“Thanks for taking me out, it was kind of you! I had a lot of fun!” Maruyama says as they head back to the inn later. Subaru thought it would be a little inhospitable to just leave him there.
“Yeah, surprising right?” Subaru says dryly. “I bet you didn't come here for fun.”
Maruyama chuckles. “It's like I said,” he stresses. “You have to look for it.”
The next evening, after being gone all day again, Maruyama invites Subaru out to the inn again. Subaru is torn. On the one hand, he quite likes Maruyama and would like to hang out with him more - it beats sitting in his room staring at the TV by a long way. But on the other hand, yesterday when Yasuda was there Subaru felt outshone in every way. Yasuda has an interesting (if bizarre) job, is easy to talk to, smiles a lot, and - most importantly - has things in his life that he can talk about freely. That group of things, for Subaru, is rather more limited. Maruyama had in fact heard all available information about Subaru by the time he’d said “I’m Subaru, I’m here working for the old lady”.
The solution would seem to be, to go out with Maruyama but not invite Yasuda this time. But that feels stupid, like Maruyama will know his reasoning and see how churlish he’s being. After all, after seeing them interact, Subaru has to admit that Yasuda is fun and charming (by some standards) - annoyingly so. So maybe if Subaru doesn’t invite him this time and things get boring or stilted, Maruyama won’t ask again. And then it’ll be back to staring at the TV for Subaru anyway.
So, feeling like a doomed man anyway, he goes along and, trying not to sound awkward, invites Yasuda too, who agrees happily.
Subaru, to his relief, soon realises that actually this is quite fun after all. Maruyama is actually very entertaining company, especially after a couple of beers - the old men in the inn are giving them some very odd looks as they get more animated, but that pleases Subaru somehow. It’s been a long time since he’s had the opportunity to cause a stir, liven things up a bit, and this way no-one can even blame him for it!
Another thing Subaru can’t help noticing is just how tactile Maruyama is. He reaches out and touches both Subaru and Yasuda, putting a hand on their arm or shoulder as they laugh and joke together. It’s a bit of a new experience for Subaru - his old pals would sling an arm round his shoulders and stuff, but that was in a macho, bro-ish kind of way. This feels... friendly, as if Maruyama just wants to put them at ease, to reassure them he’s having fun and that he... likes them.
It’s a bit of an unfamiliar feeling to Subaru, but he’s used to those now. And this one makes him feel pleased, so he’ll accept it gladly. It’s nice to feel like he’s met someone who seems to be on a similar wavelength. Maruyama insists they both call him Maru, and somewhere along the line he starts calling Yasuda Yasu, and before he knows it, Subaru finds himself doing it too. It almost feels like the three of them are long-lost mates, who haven’t seen each other in 15 years but are able to pick up exactly where they left off. Subaru actually feels encouraged that there are people he can click with like that. If it can happen here, it can happen at home.
They go out again the next night, somewhat to the consternation of the inn staff, who have probably never encountered anything like the three of them together - Maru is interestingly eccentric, and Subaru finds it all too easy to egg him on and join in. He’s glad he’s managed to shake the feeling of being a third wheel - Maru makes it easy to be around him, even with Yasu there too, and the situation is aided by the addition of beer - the cause of, and solution to, all life’s problems. Subaru thinks he saw that on a t-shirt once.
The next night Subaru suggests they go again, but Maru turns him down. “It’s such a clear night tonight, I thought I’d get some good photos! Do you want to come along?”
“Sure,” Subaru agrees right away. Of course, Yasu is along for the ride too, and they go down to the beach where a crescent moon is reflecting off the calm sea, to the gentle sound of the tide lapping the shore.
It’s very different to sitting in the inn. Maru is tranquil like the sea, focussing on his photography and murmuring to Yasu about exposures and apertures, which aren’t nearly as exciting as they sound. Yasu talks quietly but animatedly about the sea, the fish, the life of the island, and Maru nods, smiling, looking almost excited to be sitting very still and whispering occasionally. Subaru feels like this is a world he couldn’t be a part of even if he wanted to. How long has he been here now? And yet he’s still an outsider. Maru has been here a few days, and he looks like he’s fitting right in. Subaru is right back at square one, yet again.
Subaru is aware of a weird kind of atmosphere, a bubble that seems to envelope the other two more and more completely while he drifts further and further away. He felt like a third wheel before, but in an awkward way, not like this. This feels almost like intrusion, and it’s not comical at all. He doesn’t feel inferior, inadequate - he feels cut off, like he’s seeing something on TV. Or even like he just isn’t the right tool for the job. The thought is creeping into his mind that maybe Yasu has designs on Maru - after all, a young, handsome, friendly guy delivered right to his doorstep, Yasu’s already said that that doesn’t happen very often... Subaru doesn’t know, of course, but he’d imagine this is the sort of opportunity a young gay guy with no other outlet for his... urges might not be able to resist. He wonders if Maru suspects anything - he wouldn’t be expecting it, that’s for sure! And even if he has noticed anything, maybe he’s too polite to let it show. Subaru thinks he’d better hang around, make sure Yasu doesn’t try anything. Even if he does feel a bit like a spare part right now.
He doesn’t want to look at them, his eyes seem to turn themselves away. He stares out at the water and tries for a minute to see what they’re seeing, feel the enthusiasm they’re feeling. He guesses this kind of minimalist environment really makes you value what’s there around you. It’s like Maru says, you have to look for it. Or maybe you have to see what’s there, not try and find what you want to see.
He tries to appreciate the calm and the tranquility, but all he can see is the vast emptiness of the sea. He suddenly feels very far from everyone he knows, even though Yasu and Maru are only a few metres away. He’s been getting by here on resentment and bitterness, but right now he feels very alone.
TBC