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I want to wrap this whole day up like a cake in a white cardboard box and give it someone. Driving through Oakland with a vague feeling of being unsettled or of things being precarious but in the bottom of your stomach you are praying that it will all be okay. Coffee that hits you hard and sitting in front of windows looking out. Alone in my room on a happy phone looking out the window at the rain. San Francisco head tipped back on the bridge smiling bigger than all week long and smiling and smiling. Stumbling up the hill, the world tipping to make room. All the stars I can see at home and all the city too. We can have anything up here and everything bad in me tumbles out into the ocean, just spilling. All my problems throwing themselves off the bridge and I'm leaning against the railing and smiling and smiling. Choclate cake and a cold bench. Tumbling over the steep hills warm and squished in the back seat. Those old cold steps of the art building. Singing. So much bad can be washed out in one night and there wasn't a single shred left in me by the time we drove back across the bridge, a whole carful of girls and warm and memories and so many memories and the ocean is there and I can't stop smiling and there isn't any of the sadness left in me tonight. None of this happiness is pretend tonight and it never was. Singing Dar out the window, feet in the mud. If I would wrap this whole day up and give it away I would. Cold and warm and cold and warm and smoke and the lights. My feet were icy but I could have stood up there for so long. Taking it all in and spitting it back out. It's worth it. It's all worth it.

I give you this. I give you this.

How does the world hold so much that is good? I am simply and eternally grateful tonight. I give you that.