Further sagas of the diet and life in general
I know, it's been a while since I've posted. My intentions were to post at least once a week but life keeps getting in the way. The good news is that I hit the 30 pound mark last Tuesday on the diet "life style" program. The fact that I lost 1.9 pounds that week came as a bit of a surprise to me. You see, the week before GRR Martin was in town and we went all over for book signings and I ate off program at least 4 times, including a visit to Ribs King (I had the petite ribs (4 riblets) for those who know...it wasn't nearly as satisfying as a whole order. It would have been better to get something else entirely). There was a fair amount of walking involved on the Weds that we went to the Tall Stacks Festival so I'm sure that helped.
But the real killer was Chilicon on Saturday. I had everything planned out...I took a salad and some shakes and planned my meal around a bowl of chili. There were lots of great looking salads and desserts around and I resisted them all until the dreaded lemon squares were set out. Now, you would have thought, knowing me, that the chocolate would have been the issue. Yes, I did taste a bit, but not a problem with leaving them alone. I thought I could just have 1 lemon square and walk away. They were, after all, only small, bite sized pieces, and shouldn't be much of a problem. WRONG!!! I found that I couldn't walk away from them. I had several more, knew it was bad and went outside to visit with friends around the bonfire. However, every time I went back in there were more...wasn't anyone else eating these things? (BeccaL, good hostess that she is, kept refilling the platter). I know I had at least a dozen of those suckers.
The next morning I woke up with the worst hangover I've ever had. I didn't have a drop of alcohol, just the lemon squares. I really hadn't had sugar, more than a bite or so at a time and weeks apart,, in 14 weeks, so this was really a true sugar hangover. ..something I never realized could happen to me. Sure, people always talk about "sugar highs", but I always thought they were mythical...parenting books told me that the sugar really didn't cause my kids to go crazy after halloween....it was just bad behaviour, or bad parenting. Now I know better! All those mood swings....not hormones, just sugar.
We had a brunch that day and thank god there were no more lemon squares! (if there were, Becca kindly didn't put them out). I had some of the stratta and Frank J's r traditional rice dish and other wise ate mostly fruit and vegetables and had my shakes. Relatively healthy, if off program. I made sure I did some walking that day and my treadmill the next and stayed strictly on program for those two days. All shakes, no meals. And I lost 1.9 pounds and hit the 30 pound marker.
In group the leader always asked about any problems we had with the program the week before and I recounted the lemon square story. What I REALLY like about this group is that no one points fingers at you, or says you shouldn't have cheated. I know I cheated, no one has to tell me that. What I got was someone who said she could totally identify with the episode and that she would have spent time journaling in a way to analyze the reasons why she ate them. Which is one of the reasons I'm writing about it here....there is a lot of emphasis on journaling in this program, both as a way of tracking what you eat and a way to put down your feelings and emotions at the time. This is why I started the diet journal in the first place. I am very good at writing down what I eat but not good at the whys. The hope is that when I am off the program I will be in the habit of journaling, and writing things down and keeping track of what I eat so that I won't gain the weight back.
So why DID I lose control with the lemon squares. Was I nervous about all the food choices I would have to make (suggested by my group) or the recent news about Bob Tucker and recent death of Frank's mom? There was a bit of an emotional undercurrent going around with those in the know. Truly, I don't know what it was. I've had issues with these things before...I know I love the damn things, which is why I don't keep them in the house. People on diets often think they are cured after they lose the weight...I haven't had any problems walking away from food in the past at meetings and parties...maybe because they were all small enough groups that it would be obvious if I ate the whole plate...or I knew there was a finite amount of food that had to be shared. Becca always has tons of food so nothing would be missed. Maybe that was it...not really being observed so it was easy to eat them...and not all at once...I could come in and out of the room and have another bite...nothing on a plate as evidence. I'm sure some people noticed (I know Steve did and I told him I was having a problem with it.. he is good about being helpful and not judging me)..what I DO know is that i am NOT cured and will have to be cautious about what I eat. I'm sure that there are other foods out there that will cause the same problems.
The thing about going to a restaurant and ordering a dessert or high calorie food is that when you finish the meal its gone...you don't have to deal with it being around all the time. Even when the kids would bring home french fries I could have a couple and they would be gone from temptation. I have learned to not keep snack foods around the house, and it easy with just the two of us at home. I have brought home a treat for Steve on occasion and taken it to his office so that it is not around for me to see and he is good about not leaving things out that might tempt me (like peanut butter)
There are lots of diets out there and theories about how to eat. One of them is where you eat healthy every day but one and then do what you want on the day off. Then, back on the program the next day. This seems to be a reasonable approach to life in general...not having excesses every day and making the lapses treats or special occasions...sometimes they all come in the same week, like what happened last week with me, but often they are only once in a while and it is good to enjoy them when they happen and not feel guilty about it. Guilt is often what makes you eat more (or drink, gamble, whatever your demon is)...you hide what you're doing from others and sneak around to do it. I am trying to not feel guilty when I lapse...it is supposed to be a lifestyle change after all...I know I can't eat like this forever and have to learn to deal with difficult situations without going overboard. The program I am in is good about this...no one is asking who lost or gained weight this week (unlike weight watchers and other programs I've been in where the leader asks who lost weight and rewards you for each milestone). No one has to talk about what they've gained or lost...most of us don't, just about the issues and joys for the week...this is about life, after all, and the group discussions are really helpful, not demeaning or condesending.
The other thing I did last week was join the recreation center near my office. Is is only $130 a year and has a great fitness center. I plan to go at least two nights a week, since Steve works those nights, and it is on my way home. I went Thursday for an orientation to the fitness center. A 16 year old girl showed me how to use the machines (10 in the circuit) and wrote down the settings for future use. I only did about 5 reps on each machine since she was with me but I was really sore afterwards. I am concerned about overextending my wrist and shoulder since I've had problems with both. It has been years since I've done anything like this and I know I have to take it slow. I intend to talk to someone at the weight loss center about how to start and what machines to avoid. I figure any thing I do will be a step in the right direction...just making the effort to show up. I can always use the treadmill or bikes or elipticals if I don't want to use the weight machines. They are going to have personal trainers available after the first of the year so I intend to check into that for additional help.
Otherwise life is good...I have been inspired by Michaele Jordan and Ann to relearn crocheting. They were both making projects at Chilicon and I used to make scarfs when I was a kid. It seems like a good idea to find something to do at night when I'm home by myself, especially in the winter when I'm not going outside much. They both recommended a book, Crocheting In Plain English, by Maggie Righetti which I am currently reading. It really is a wonderful book, written in a style that anyone can understand...even me. I am working on getting the materials...sometime today i will go to a craft store and pick up basic supplies.
I will try to post more often so there isn't so much catch up.
But the real killer was Chilicon on Saturday. I had everything planned out...I took a salad and some shakes and planned my meal around a bowl of chili. There were lots of great looking salads and desserts around and I resisted them all until the dreaded lemon squares were set out. Now, you would have thought, knowing me, that the chocolate would have been the issue. Yes, I did taste a bit, but not a problem with leaving them alone. I thought I could just have 1 lemon square and walk away. They were, after all, only small, bite sized pieces, and shouldn't be much of a problem. WRONG!!! I found that I couldn't walk away from them. I had several more, knew it was bad and went outside to visit with friends around the bonfire. However, every time I went back in there were more...wasn't anyone else eating these things? (BeccaL, good hostess that she is, kept refilling the platter). I know I had at least a dozen of those suckers.
The next morning I woke up with the worst hangover I've ever had. I didn't have a drop of alcohol, just the lemon squares. I really hadn't had sugar, more than a bite or so at a time and weeks apart,, in 14 weeks, so this was really a true sugar hangover. ..something I never realized could happen to me. Sure, people always talk about "sugar highs", but I always thought they were mythical...parenting books told me that the sugar really didn't cause my kids to go crazy after halloween....it was just bad behaviour, or bad parenting. Now I know better! All those mood swings....not hormones, just sugar.
We had a brunch that day and thank god there were no more lemon squares! (if there were, Becca kindly didn't put them out). I had some of the stratta and Frank J's r traditional rice dish and other wise ate mostly fruit and vegetables and had my shakes. Relatively healthy, if off program. I made sure I did some walking that day and my treadmill the next and stayed strictly on program for those two days. All shakes, no meals. And I lost 1.9 pounds and hit the 30 pound marker.
In group the leader always asked about any problems we had with the program the week before and I recounted the lemon square story. What I REALLY like about this group is that no one points fingers at you, or says you shouldn't have cheated. I know I cheated, no one has to tell me that. What I got was someone who said she could totally identify with the episode and that she would have spent time journaling in a way to analyze the reasons why she ate them. Which is one of the reasons I'm writing about it here....there is a lot of emphasis on journaling in this program, both as a way of tracking what you eat and a way to put down your feelings and emotions at the time. This is why I started the diet journal in the first place. I am very good at writing down what I eat but not good at the whys. The hope is that when I am off the program I will be in the habit of journaling, and writing things down and keeping track of what I eat so that I won't gain the weight back.
So why DID I lose control with the lemon squares. Was I nervous about all the food choices I would have to make (suggested by my group) or the recent news about Bob Tucker and recent death of Frank's mom? There was a bit of an emotional undercurrent going around with those in the know. Truly, I don't know what it was. I've had issues with these things before...I know I love the damn things, which is why I don't keep them in the house. People on diets often think they are cured after they lose the weight...I haven't had any problems walking away from food in the past at meetings and parties...maybe because they were all small enough groups that it would be obvious if I ate the whole plate...or I knew there was a finite amount of food that had to be shared. Becca always has tons of food so nothing would be missed. Maybe that was it...not really being observed so it was easy to eat them...and not all at once...I could come in and out of the room and have another bite...nothing on a plate as evidence. I'm sure some people noticed (I know Steve did and I told him I was having a problem with it.. he is good about being helpful and not judging me)..what I DO know is that i am NOT cured and will have to be cautious about what I eat. I'm sure that there are other foods out there that will cause the same problems.
The thing about going to a restaurant and ordering a dessert or high calorie food is that when you finish the meal its gone...you don't have to deal with it being around all the time. Even when the kids would bring home french fries I could have a couple and they would be gone from temptation. I have learned to not keep snack foods around the house, and it easy with just the two of us at home. I have brought home a treat for Steve on occasion and taken it to his office so that it is not around for me to see and he is good about not leaving things out that might tempt me (like peanut butter)
There are lots of diets out there and theories about how to eat. One of them is where you eat healthy every day but one and then do what you want on the day off. Then, back on the program the next day. This seems to be a reasonable approach to life in general...not having excesses every day and making the lapses treats or special occasions...sometimes they all come in the same week, like what happened last week with me, but often they are only once in a while and it is good to enjoy them when they happen and not feel guilty about it. Guilt is often what makes you eat more (or drink, gamble, whatever your demon is)...you hide what you're doing from others and sneak around to do it. I am trying to not feel guilty when I lapse...it is supposed to be a lifestyle change after all...I know I can't eat like this forever and have to learn to deal with difficult situations without going overboard. The program I am in is good about this...no one is asking who lost or gained weight this week (unlike weight watchers and other programs I've been in where the leader asks who lost weight and rewards you for each milestone). No one has to talk about what they've gained or lost...most of us don't, just about the issues and joys for the week...this is about life, after all, and the group discussions are really helpful, not demeaning or condesending.
The other thing I did last week was join the recreation center near my office. Is is only $130 a year and has a great fitness center. I plan to go at least two nights a week, since Steve works those nights, and it is on my way home. I went Thursday for an orientation to the fitness center. A 16 year old girl showed me how to use the machines (10 in the circuit) and wrote down the settings for future use. I only did about 5 reps on each machine since she was with me but I was really sore afterwards. I am concerned about overextending my wrist and shoulder since I've had problems with both. It has been years since I've done anything like this and I know I have to take it slow. I intend to talk to someone at the weight loss center about how to start and what machines to avoid. I figure any thing I do will be a step in the right direction...just making the effort to show up. I can always use the treadmill or bikes or elipticals if I don't want to use the weight machines. They are going to have personal trainers available after the first of the year so I intend to check into that for additional help.
Otherwise life is good...I have been inspired by Michaele Jordan and Ann to relearn crocheting. They were both making projects at Chilicon and I used to make scarfs when I was a kid. It seems like a good idea to find something to do at night when I'm home by myself, especially in the winter when I'm not going outside much. They both recommended a book, Crocheting In Plain English, by Maggie Righetti which I am currently reading. It really is a wonderful book, written in a style that anyone can understand...even me. I am working on getting the materials...sometime today i will go to a craft store and pick up basic supplies.
I will try to post more often so there isn't so much catch up.