another weekend over
I am dreading writing, even though I know I'll be happy I did in the end.
So yesterday was Saturday, and its my weekend off. Matt came over around 6; we decided to go into downtown Frederick for dinner. I made the mistake of asking too many questions about his past during dinner; I mean, it wasn't a mistake for me, but he wasn't really to thrilled to have such a deep conversation. In the end though, he was ok with it and we had a nice time. Came home to my apt and did the same thing; more talking. He showed me pictures from his laptop, mostly of his daughter which happened to include his ex wife--the second one, not the mother of daughter. She is an overweight girl from Wisconsin with one eye. She apparently is the one who ended the marriage, and it really broke his heart. I can tell by the way he talks about it. I got the idea that they were pretty happy at one point; they had a nice house in Westminster, his daughter came to live with them, they were both working; what in the hell happened??? If I was lucky enough to have a life like that, I'd be certain not to fuck it up and try to at least treat it with respect. Don't wedding vows mean anything anymore? Good grief!
We had alot of good conversation. And when he was tired and wanted to sleep, I tried to do the same. Big mistake. Matt snores like a grizzly bear with sleep apnea. It was AWFUL. I woke up at 230am and didn't go back to sleep until he left at 7. And the only reason he left at 7 is because I was fussing so much. He got mad and left lol. He doesn't know how bad it was, even though I told him. I went to sleep after he left; he called me while I was 1/2 asleep and he told me he loved me and we could fix the snoring thing. Well yah, I certainly hope so!! Just because there is a little issue with snoring doesn't mean we can't be together. Granted, a 3 room basement apartment doesn't help; if we lived together, I would have solved the problem by sleeping in another room. Also, I'm out of trazadone, so thats another reason why I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep. Working out little quirks like that are easy; I hope he continues to patient with things like that because I am very happy with him right now. I don't want it to end, I don't want to end up with broken hearts. I want to marry this man. Just when the time is right; and its not just yet. We need to log more time together, and go through the requisite stressful times and see how that ends up.
Ughhhh back to work this week. I have a Dr Ashai appt on wednesday (psychiatrist) and thats about it. I'm broke as hell. T Rowe Price should be sending me a check next week; if they don't, I'm going to kill someone. I am looking for a new job, and I have been since April, but no one wants me bad enough to hire me. I can't give up though; I'm still going to try to get in Towson for next year and get the student loan shit started. Oh boy, FAFSA!! See if its worth it for me to finish up and get a BSN, or just can that idea and go straight for the Health teacher thing. Who knows.
Being in love is fun, but its stressful. In a good way.
Take this day to day. Thats all I can do.
So yesterday was Saturday, and its my weekend off. Matt came over around 6; we decided to go into downtown Frederick for dinner. I made the mistake of asking too many questions about his past during dinner; I mean, it wasn't a mistake for me, but he wasn't really to thrilled to have such a deep conversation. In the end though, he was ok with it and we had a nice time. Came home to my apt and did the same thing; more talking. He showed me pictures from his laptop, mostly of his daughter which happened to include his ex wife--the second one, not the mother of daughter. She is an overweight girl from Wisconsin with one eye. She apparently is the one who ended the marriage, and it really broke his heart. I can tell by the way he talks about it. I got the idea that they were pretty happy at one point; they had a nice house in Westminster, his daughter came to live with them, they were both working; what in the hell happened??? If I was lucky enough to have a life like that, I'd be certain not to fuck it up and try to at least treat it with respect. Don't wedding vows mean anything anymore? Good grief!
We had alot of good conversation. And when he was tired and wanted to sleep, I tried to do the same. Big mistake. Matt snores like a grizzly bear with sleep apnea. It was AWFUL. I woke up at 230am and didn't go back to sleep until he left at 7. And the only reason he left at 7 is because I was fussing so much. He got mad and left lol. He doesn't know how bad it was, even though I told him. I went to sleep after he left; he called me while I was 1/2 asleep and he told me he loved me and we could fix the snoring thing. Well yah, I certainly hope so!! Just because there is a little issue with snoring doesn't mean we can't be together. Granted, a 3 room basement apartment doesn't help; if we lived together, I would have solved the problem by sleeping in another room. Also, I'm out of trazadone, so thats another reason why I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep. Working out little quirks like that are easy; I hope he continues to patient with things like that because I am very happy with him right now. I don't want it to end, I don't want to end up with broken hearts. I want to marry this man. Just when the time is right; and its not just yet. We need to log more time together, and go through the requisite stressful times and see how that ends up.
Ughhhh back to work this week. I have a Dr Ashai appt on wednesday (psychiatrist) and thats about it. I'm broke as hell. T Rowe Price should be sending me a check next week; if they don't, I'm going to kill someone. I am looking for a new job, and I have been since April, but no one wants me bad enough to hire me. I can't give up though; I'm still going to try to get in Towson for next year and get the student loan shit started. Oh boy, FAFSA!! See if its worth it for me to finish up and get a BSN, or just can that idea and go straight for the Health teacher thing. Who knows.
Being in love is fun, but its stressful. In a good way.
Take this day to day. Thats all I can do.