(no subject)
In the last week or two, I've been more noticeably aware of my empty ring finger. I notice that it's bare, and each time I notice there's a small pang ... a small reminder that yes, that really happened, and yes, it's really over.
I must be a bit slow, because it only occured to me just now that these must be happening more frequently these days because it is the anniversry of him leaving - two years exactly just this past weekend. He left the weekend before the first Sunday in Advent. How can you tell someone is in seminary? They really do mark their days with the liturgical calendar... I don't remember what date it was, exactly (I think maybe Nov 25?) and I'm not going to look it up, because I know that it's now and that's enough.
Two years out, it feels like ages ago. My life is different. I am growing into this vocation I've chosen to follow. I have friends, I go on dates, I know (several) bishops and have many many friends who are clergy. I work on-call at a hospital. I am growing more comfortable in my own skin, figuring out who I am and who I want to be, and what it means to be a "professional woman".
So why do I still notice the absence of a ring? Grieving kinda sucks, folks.
I must be a bit slow, because it only occured to me just now that these must be happening more frequently these days because it is the anniversry of him leaving - two years exactly just this past weekend. He left the weekend before the first Sunday in Advent. How can you tell someone is in seminary? They really do mark their days with the liturgical calendar... I don't remember what date it was, exactly (I think maybe Nov 25?) and I'm not going to look it up, because I know that it's now and that's enough.
Two years out, it feels like ages ago. My life is different. I am growing into this vocation I've chosen to follow. I have friends, I go on dates, I know (several) bishops and have many many friends who are clergy. I work on-call at a hospital. I am growing more comfortable in my own skin, figuring out who I am and who I want to be, and what it means to be a "professional woman".
So why do I still notice the absence of a ring? Grieving kinda sucks, folks.