today
Today was an odd day. I woke up feeling apprehensive to even get out of bed for the fright of running into my roommate who slammed her door at me last night... that wasn't cool. I feel she was overexaggerating... and i don't think she was necessarily mad at just me, but mad at herself as well for being such a damn light sleeper. It's really ridiculous. But I still just hate having people who I like dislike me... it may be one of the biggest fears of mine. It gets to me every once in awhile, but never too intensely because it's a silly thing to worry about... and last night was one of those moments. I had brought friends over... and we were being very quiet overall... i mean... the roomie just was pissed that we had woken her up with the one outburst of argument of where the UAE is or whatever. She didn't even really think about the extreme consideration we were putting forth that wouldn't have occurred had she not been there at all. instead she just came down the stairs... glared... walked up the stairs... and slammed her door. it was intense. i actually found it kind of uneccessarily dramatic and moderately childish. at that moment "you woke me up!" were her only thoughts and she was pissed... i was so scared. then today, she was like "could you not have any more after bar gatherings until i move out?" and i was like "yeah, sure, I'm sorry"... but then i thought about it more and last night was so mellow.... i mean... i've never tried to have a real after bar like i would have liked to, solely for the sake of her slumber... she made me feel terrible. we had only come to my house for a mere hour while we waited for the pizza to come and we were just listening to music quietly and trying desperately to keep our voices low.... i feel like maybe she should have thanked me for trying to be so quiet, instead of acting like we were the loudest ever and that this happens all the time... which it doesn't. this is the first time it's been me and my friends that have awoken her. i think it's difficult for her to see that side of it though, she doesn't go out much and is just part of a different social group than i am. i don't complain to her when her white noise that helps her sleep keeps me up at night... because i'm not that uptight and i can learn to deal with it.
once i finally got up, i went to school and worked on some art projects and such... then i went to the Union Terrace and had a beer with Ryan. well.... he had beer and i had wine. that was nice. i barely see him anymore now that he's with his boyfriend so much, but that's fine because he seems happy, and i'm happy too since i feel like one of the few people he still pursues hanging out with anymore. Ryan had to go to the bathroom often due to his having a whole pitcher to himself... and in those moments i sat and stared at the sunset and thought about the sweeping clouds and beautiful and natural they are with the shades of pink and purple and also how overwhelmingly large the sky is. This, for some reason, reminded me of being on mushrooms and the pleasant experience of it all. the thought processes i was experiencing at this moment were very normal and well-paced, but on shrooms they had been so rapid and overwhelming and non-stop. there were times i just wanted to stop thinking, but instead i tried to soak up every thought in my head for as long as it lasted and just went with the flow of each transition and didn't try to stick to one thought for longer than it wanted to. it was nice. i want to eat sandwiches with abbie.
When ryan returned from the bathroom of large penises we discussed things like how much i'm craving cock right now and checked out boys. and later had mojito's at william's friend's house... that was fun.
it was actually an overall good day. i was really pissed for a good period of the day, but ryan and a little booze helped me get out of that. it's been almost surreal.
blah blah blah.... fuck... i have to get up in 3.5 hours.
once i finally got up, i went to school and worked on some art projects and such... then i went to the Union Terrace and had a beer with Ryan. well.... he had beer and i had wine. that was nice. i barely see him anymore now that he's with his boyfriend so much, but that's fine because he seems happy, and i'm happy too since i feel like one of the few people he still pursues hanging out with anymore. Ryan had to go to the bathroom often due to his having a whole pitcher to himself... and in those moments i sat and stared at the sunset and thought about the sweeping clouds and beautiful and natural they are with the shades of pink and purple and also how overwhelmingly large the sky is. This, for some reason, reminded me of being on mushrooms and the pleasant experience of it all. the thought processes i was experiencing at this moment were very normal and well-paced, but on shrooms they had been so rapid and overwhelming and non-stop. there were times i just wanted to stop thinking, but instead i tried to soak up every thought in my head for as long as it lasted and just went with the flow of each transition and didn't try to stick to one thought for longer than it wanted to. it was nice. i want to eat sandwiches with abbie.
When ryan returned from the bathroom of large penises we discussed things like how much i'm craving cock right now and checked out boys. and later had mojito's at william's friend's house... that was fun.
it was actually an overall good day. i was really pissed for a good period of the day, but ryan and a little booze helped me get out of that. it's been almost surreal.
blah blah blah.... fuck... i have to get up in 3.5 hours.