“It was pretty great,” says Leslie, ignoring Tom. “Really, it was going pretty well until I heard someone coming through the front door.”
“Oh god.”
“It was my grandparents. Their flight was canceled and they couldn’t get another one until the next day, so they came home for the night.”
“Oh, Leslie,” sympathizes Ann. “Please tell me your grandparents didn’t walk in on you having sex.”
“No. Not exactly.” Leslie takes a deep breath, really not looking at Ben this time, and says in a rush, “I heard them come in and I just kind of panicked, I guess. I shoved Danny off of me and threw on my clothes and went downstairs to see what was going on.”
“You shoved him…You don’t mean when he was…?”
“Yeah,” says Leslie. “Right in the middle of, actually. And then he tried to sneak out, but he ran into my grandpap, and it was pretty obvious that he was still…aroused. And maybe I couldn’t stop from blurting it out, I don’t know.”
“Oh, Leslie.”
“We had to sit with my grandparents for over an hour while they lectured us about responsible sex. There were stories…” She trails off, frowning. “It’s the second worst time I was interrupted during sex.”
“What-“ Ben starts, but she finally looks at him and he blushes. “Never mind.”
“Wow,” says Tom just as there’s a loud knock on the frame of the conference room door. Leslie looks up, startled, and feels her cheeks flush guiltily when she sees Chris standing there. Oblivious, Tom continues, “That was possibly the worst thing I’ve ever heard.”
“Oh no. What’s that?” asks Chris, stepping into the room. “Please tell me everyone is okay.”
“What? No, it’s just Leslie’s pathetic sex story.”
“Leslie?”
She’s going to kill Tom. Slowly. And painfully. “It wasn’t-We were just helping Jerry out. With ideas for his sex education class.”
“Really?” asks Chris, going from concerned to delighted in less than a second. “Way to show initiative, Jerry! How can I help?”
“You got a good story about losing your virginity?” asks Donna. “I bet you do.”
“It is terrific,” agrees Chris. “I was backpacking through Europe-“
“I think,” declares Ron, standing up and eyeing Chris blankly, “that it is time we get back to the real work of doing nothing.”
“Actually, Ron, I needed to talk to you,” says Chris, throwing his arm around Ron’s shoulders. “Walk with me. Ben, could you come too?”
Ben blinks, almost as if he’s surprised he’s still sitting there, and shoots her quick look as he stands. Leslie feels a rush of something desperate, an anxious desire to know what he’s thinking and maybe to tell him some stories that prove she’s much more adept at sex now and also force him to tell his story because it’s totally unfair that he didn’t share, but he’s already walking out of the room and she can’t exactly shout any of that at him here. She sinks back in her chair, frowning, and Ann reaches over to squeeze her hand.
“Okay,” says Donna, the second Chris is out of earshot. “I want my money. Pay up.”
“It was pretty great,” says Leslie, ignoring Tom. “Really, it was going pretty well until I heard someone coming through the front door.”
“Oh god.”
“It was my grandparents. Their flight was canceled and they couldn’t get another one until the next day, so they came home for the night.”
“Oh, Leslie,” sympathizes Ann. “Please tell me your grandparents didn’t walk in on you having sex.”
“No. Not exactly.” Leslie takes a deep breath, really not looking at Ben this time, and says in a rush, “I heard them come in and I just kind of panicked, I guess. I shoved Danny off of me and threw on my clothes and went downstairs to see what was going on.”
“You shoved him…You don’t mean when he was…?”
“Yeah,” says Leslie. “Right in the middle of, actually. And then he tried to sneak out, but he ran into my grandpap, and it was pretty obvious that he was still…aroused. And maybe I couldn’t stop from blurting it out, I don’t know.”
“Oh, Leslie.”
“We had to sit with my grandparents for over an hour while they lectured us about responsible sex. There were stories…” She trails off, frowning. “It’s the second worst time I was interrupted during sex.”
“What-“ Ben starts, but she finally looks at him and he blushes. “Never mind.”
“Wow,” says Tom just as there’s a loud knock on the frame of the conference room door. Leslie looks up, startled, and feels her cheeks flush guiltily when she sees Chris standing there. Oblivious, Tom continues, “That was possibly the worst thing I’ve ever heard.”
“Oh no. What’s that?” asks Chris, stepping into the room. “Please tell me everyone is okay.”
“What? No, it’s just Leslie’s pathetic sex story.”
“Leslie?”
She’s going to kill Tom. Slowly. And painfully. “It wasn’t-We were just helping Jerry out. With ideas for his sex education class.”
“Really?” asks Chris, going from concerned to delighted in less than a second. “Way to show initiative, Jerry! How can I help?”
“You got a good story about losing your virginity?” asks Donna. “I bet you do.”
“It is terrific,” agrees Chris. “I was backpacking through Europe-“
“I think,” declares Ron, standing up and eyeing Chris blankly, “that it is time we get back to the real work of doing nothing.”
“Actually, Ron, I needed to talk to you,” says Chris, throwing his arm around Ron’s shoulders. “Walk with me. Ben, could you come too?”
Ben blinks, almost as if he’s surprised he’s still sitting there, and shoots her quick look as he stands. Leslie feels a rush of something desperate, an anxious desire to know what he’s thinking and maybe to tell him some stories that prove she’s much more adept at sex now and also force him to tell his story because it’s totally unfair that he didn’t share, but he’s already walking out of the room and she can’t exactly shout any of that at him here. She sinks back in her chair, frowning, and Ann reaches over to squeeze her hand.
“Okay,” says Donna, the second Chris is out of earshot. “I want my money. Pay up.”
No one even tries to protest.
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