“Hey, do you-” He abruptly cuts himself off as he glances around the table. “Uh-What’s going on in here?”
“Jerry’s telling sex stories.”
“No, that’s not-“
“Don’t lie, Jerry.”
“Okay, okay,” interrupts Leslie, finally bestowing the calm Jerry desperately wants. It doesn’t stop April from making a face the minute Leslie looks away, though. “Look, Jerry, it’s an…idea.”
“A terrible idea. What makes you think any of us are going to talk up the benefits of waiting, anyway? Now if you want to talk about losing your v-card as soon as possible, I’m your man.”
Ann rolls her eyes. “Yeah right.”
“Thirteen,” says Tom, holding up the pointer finger of his left hand and three fingers on the right. “I was born with those skills, cupcake.”
Leslie shoots Tom a rather perturbed look, but doesn’t comment his lie (at least, what Jerry very much hopes is a lie). “There’s nothing wrong with waiting to have sex,” she says, eyes flitting toward the door and then back to Tom. “But I don’t think we should be lying either.”
“You just know your story would be so boring it’d put the kids to sleep,” says Tom with a rather dismissive hand gesture. “If you’re gonna talk to teens about sex, it needs to be exciting.”
“That’s not-My story wouldn’t be boring.”
“Yeah right.”
“It’s not!”
“Leslie, the only person here whose story would be more boring than yours is Jerry. Or maybe Ben.”
“Hey!”
“Seriously. I bet you fifty bucks my story is better. In fact, I bet all you guys that my story is the best.”
“Oh, guys, I don’t think-This is getting way off track,” says Jerry.
“You’re on,” accepts Leslie. She’s leaning across the table now, looking at Tom with that slightly crazed competitive look in her eyes. “Ten dollars from everyone. Best story wins.”
Jerry sinks into his chair and buries his head in his hands.
This is going to be so much fun. One tiny request--is there any way we could get Jean-Ralphio involved? You just know his story would hilarious/cringeworthy.
“Hey, do you-” He abruptly cuts himself off as he glances around the table. “Uh-What’s going on in here?”
“Jerry’s telling sex stories.”
“No, that’s not-“
“Don’t lie, Jerry.”
“Okay, okay,” interrupts Leslie, finally bestowing the calm Jerry desperately wants. It doesn’t stop April from making a face the minute Leslie looks away, though. “Look, Jerry, it’s an…idea.”
“A terrible idea. What makes you think any of us are going to talk up the benefits of waiting, anyway? Now if you want to talk about losing your v-card as soon as possible, I’m your man.”
Ann rolls her eyes. “Yeah right.”
“Thirteen,” says Tom, holding up the pointer finger of his left hand and three fingers on the right. “I was born with those skills, cupcake.”
Leslie shoots Tom a rather perturbed look, but doesn’t comment his lie (at least, what Jerry very much hopes is a lie). “There’s nothing wrong with waiting to have sex,” she says, eyes flitting toward the door and then back to Tom. “But I don’t think we should be lying either.”
“You just know your story would be so boring it’d put the kids to sleep,” says Tom with a rather dismissive hand gesture. “If you’re gonna talk to teens about sex, it needs to be exciting.”
“That’s not-My story wouldn’t be boring.”
“Yeah right.”
“It’s not!”
“Leslie, the only person here whose story would be more boring than yours is Jerry. Or maybe Ben.”
“Hey!”
“Seriously. I bet you fifty bucks my story is better. In fact, I bet all you guys that my story is the best.”
“Oh, guys, I don’t think-This is getting way off track,” says Jerry.
“You’re on,” accepts Leslie. She’s leaning across the table now, looking at Tom with that slightly crazed competitive look in her eyes. “Ten dollars from everyone. Best story wins.”
Jerry sinks into his chair and buries his head in his hands.
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