Brother, Please Absolve Me, Once More Love Me, And Call Me Home
I can only believe that it begins with forgiveness
Your clemency, compassion, exoneration, amnesty, mitigating mercy, your pardon, and hopefully your sympathy
I don't deserve them, not a one, but unreservedly need them
I was sick, afflicted and infirm for one whole summer in addition to the first notes of fall
It was a long terrible time to be unwell
I'm not excusing myself, nor laying down defense
This is just where it began, the genesis of our distance and dissolution
I found myself busy (oh aren't we all)
I'll call soon, I'll text him shortly, I better email him, maybe I can sneak in a quick visit
The best intentions blow fiercely like a hot desert wind, and then are gone, leaving you to start over, renew your counting of the grains of sand
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven...
So as days pass becoming weeks and months
The silence stretches out and becomes too horrible to dignify, too murderous and heinous to acknowledge
And so it goes
Gifts bought, wrapped and unsent
Cards collecting dust
Words ignored, thoughts quieted or shelved
I was busy, with nothing of import, nothing more consequential than you dear brother
So I'm here now, far past the eleventh hour and well reaching into midnight
I love you
Have always loved you
Will always love you
Can you spare some decay of memory
Indulge me with hazy recollection
Would you be willing to drink deep from the waters of Lethe
I'm aware of your ability to turn the other cheek
But instead of proving that you can take a beating
Extend me your favor
And once more open up your arms
Calling me home
5/16/10
Your clemency, compassion, exoneration, amnesty, mitigating mercy, your pardon, and hopefully your sympathy
I don't deserve them, not a one, but unreservedly need them
I was sick, afflicted and infirm for one whole summer in addition to the first notes of fall
It was a long terrible time to be unwell
I'm not excusing myself, nor laying down defense
This is just where it began, the genesis of our distance and dissolution
I found myself busy (oh aren't we all)
I'll call soon, I'll text him shortly, I better email him, maybe I can sneak in a quick visit
The best intentions blow fiercely like a hot desert wind, and then are gone, leaving you to start over, renew your counting of the grains of sand
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven...
So as days pass becoming weeks and months
The silence stretches out and becomes too horrible to dignify, too murderous and heinous to acknowledge
And so it goes
Gifts bought, wrapped and unsent
Cards collecting dust
Words ignored, thoughts quieted or shelved
I was busy, with nothing of import, nothing more consequential than you dear brother
So I'm here now, far past the eleventh hour and well reaching into midnight
I love you
Have always loved you
Will always love you
Can you spare some decay of memory
Indulge me with hazy recollection
Would you be willing to drink deep from the waters of Lethe
I'm aware of your ability to turn the other cheek
But instead of proving that you can take a beating
Extend me your favor
And once more open up your arms
Calling me home
5/16/10