30 Days and Nights of House/Chase
TITLE: Not Entirely Human Error - Part 13
AUTHOR: parkermonster
PAIRING: House/Chase
RATING: PG-13, for language
NOTES: Spoilers for Human Error, and everything that leads up to that
SUMMARY: Chase is getting it together, and House is making life SO much more complicated, whether Chase likes it or not.
DISCLAIMER: Send me some money and I’ll have something to disclaim for.
********************************
Part 13
********************************
That afternoon
Wilson had retreated to his office to avoid Cuddy’s wrath. House never showed up for his clinic hours this morning and she was sure that Wilson must know where he was. Wilson had no idea.
He should have known he wasn’t going to get more than a few minutes to catch up on his case notes, and he didn’t. House burst into Wilson’s office with an annoyingly self-satisfied grin and plopped down on a convenient chair. Hope Cuddy didn’t see him. Looks like he slept in his clothes, too. Then a thought crossed his mind, but he suppressed it as quickly as he could. There’s no way… Chase wouldn’t...
Although he would never say it to either of them, Wilson wondered if House and Chase might actually be a good match. After all, Chase was one of the few people besides Wilson who was willing to tolerate some of House’s more obnoxious behavior, and in the past had even found it amusing. Wilson suspected that at some level, at least, Chase wanted to be part of House’s minuscule inner circle; whether that would lead to anything more was anyone’s guess at this point. However, House had never lacked the ability to alienate just about everyone in his path, and he had been doing his best the past few months to drive Chase off the way he had everyone else over the years. Given Chase’s hostility toward House recently, Wilson did not want to get stuck cleaning up the mess if House pushed the relationship issue too hard.
Luckily House was too pleased with himself to notice his friend’s momentary discomfort. “He wants to work with me, Wilson. I’ve almost landed him.”
Wilson tried not to look relieved. “You’re quite impressed with yourself right now, aren’t you.”
“Who wouldn’t be?”
Wilson closed the folder he was working on and leaned back. “Soooo, does he want to work with you, or is he willing to work with you?”
“Six of one, and whatever other stupid clichés apply. He’s going to work with me.”
“Well, I suppose I should congratulate you and offer my best wishes to Chase, then.”
“Hey,” House scowled, “we’re not getting married. I ain’t the marryin’ kind.”
“No, you’re not, but I think the sentiment applies. You really are getting the better end of the deal here.”
“You’re being meeeean to me,” House sing-songed.
“Like that would bother you,” Wilson chuckled. “Admit it; you'll be taking advantage of Chase’s diagnostic talents and he’ll be stuck working with you.”
“Shhh, don’t tell him that. It will come as quite the surprise when he finds out.”
“Uh huh. You want to work with Chase again because he’s a total moron.”
“Close enough. I need a case. Got any cases for me?”
Wilson sighed. “If I did, you’d know about it already.”
House rose and headed for the door. “I’m off to find a case then.”
“Good luck with that,” Wilson called after him. Good luck to Chase, too, he thought.
********************************
Chase wasn’t the least bit surprised to see a case folder on his desk the next day. What did surprise him was the fact that it was such a no-brainer. Either he has no faith in me or he was in a damn big hurry to come up with something.
He stuck a big Post-it note on the first page of the file and dropped it into the transport bin.
********************************
House wasn’t the least bit surprised to see the folder back so soon. He opened it and smiled as he read Chase’s diagnostic note:
Duh. C
For once we agree right from the beginning, House thought. Promising.
********************************
Chase was just tucking into his cafeteria sandwich when House appeared next to his table and sat down across the table.
“Mind if I join you?”
“Since you’re already seated, I don’t see that I have much choice.”
“Nope,” House beamed as he reached over and grabbed a handful of Chase’s chips.
Chase shook his head. “Oh, please, help yourself, House. I wouldn’t have bought them if I actually wanted to eat them.”
“That’s the way I figure it. Wilson does that a lot too.”
“I’ve noticed. Pardon me if I don’t put down my sandwich, but I really am hungry. I’m also on a short break, so if you have anything to say, get on with it. And if it’s a case, it better be more interesting than the last one. You could actually wait until you have something interesting, you know. Not…”
“No time like the present, get the momentum going, that sort of thing…” House interrupted.
“NOT,” Chase continued, “jump in before my real boss gives me the go-ahead to work on a case with you.”
House gave him the ‘you moron’ face. “Think how little would get done if we all waited for permission to do what we want.”
Chase replied with his ‘you‘re being an arsehole’ face. “Maybe you never noticed, House, but there’s a big difference between asking permission and making arrangements. Someone might actually need an intensivist while I’m off playing doctor with you.”
“You know, that could be taken a couple of ways. Do you like to play Doctor? ‘Cause I’m not dressing up like a nurse. Just saying.”
“Oh God,” Chase moaned as he grabbed his dishes and headed off. “The hospital storeroom doesn’t have enough bleach to remove that image from my brain.”
House grinned. “Made you think about it. My work here is done.”
********************************
Two days later…
House had decided that he needed to find a decent case this time. None were forthcoming, though, and he was getting impatient. Hell, it’s worth a shot, he thought as he pulled out his pager. He figured he’d keep it simple:
Dinner?
Chase’s response took twenty minutes:
Case?
House smiled. The game was afoot.
Dinner.
Case.
I want dinner first.
I want world peace. Deal with it.
Damn, House frowned. I really need a case.
********************************
Chase was rather surprised not to hear from House for a few days. Then one evening he headed back to his office at the end of a long shift and found another folder on his desk. A Post-it on the first page simply said,
You should find this more to your liking. H
Chase rolled his eyes. This had better not be a cross-dressing sociopath. He sat down to read through the notes. Of course, he already tried that one on me. He’s not likely to repeat himself.
It only took a couple of pages to determine that this could be the real thing: a diagnostic mystery.
********************************
********************************
Next chapter
AUTHOR: parkermonster
PAIRING: House/Chase
RATING: PG-13, for language
NOTES: Spoilers for Human Error, and everything that leads up to that
SUMMARY: Chase is getting it together, and House is making life SO much more complicated, whether Chase likes it or not.
DISCLAIMER: Send me some money and I’ll have something to disclaim for.
********************************
Part 13
********************************
That afternoon
Wilson had retreated to his office to avoid Cuddy’s wrath. House never showed up for his clinic hours this morning and she was sure that Wilson must know where he was. Wilson had no idea.
He should have known he wasn’t going to get more than a few minutes to catch up on his case notes, and he didn’t. House burst into Wilson’s office with an annoyingly self-satisfied grin and plopped down on a convenient chair. Hope Cuddy didn’t see him. Looks like he slept in his clothes, too. Then a thought crossed his mind, but he suppressed it as quickly as he could. There’s no way… Chase wouldn’t...
Although he would never say it to either of them, Wilson wondered if House and Chase might actually be a good match. After all, Chase was one of the few people besides Wilson who was willing to tolerate some of House’s more obnoxious behavior, and in the past had even found it amusing. Wilson suspected that at some level, at least, Chase wanted to be part of House’s minuscule inner circle; whether that would lead to anything more was anyone’s guess at this point. However, House had never lacked the ability to alienate just about everyone in his path, and he had been doing his best the past few months to drive Chase off the way he had everyone else over the years. Given Chase’s hostility toward House recently, Wilson did not want to get stuck cleaning up the mess if House pushed the relationship issue too hard.
Luckily House was too pleased with himself to notice his friend’s momentary discomfort. “He wants to work with me, Wilson. I’ve almost landed him.”
Wilson tried not to look relieved. “You’re quite impressed with yourself right now, aren’t you.”
“Who wouldn’t be?”
Wilson closed the folder he was working on and leaned back. “Soooo, does he want to work with you, or is he willing to work with you?”
“Six of one, and whatever other stupid clichés apply. He’s going to work with me.”
“Well, I suppose I should congratulate you and offer my best wishes to Chase, then.”
“Hey,” House scowled, “we’re not getting married. I ain’t the marryin’ kind.”
“No, you’re not, but I think the sentiment applies. You really are getting the better end of the deal here.”
“You’re being meeeean to me,” House sing-songed.
“Like that would bother you,” Wilson chuckled. “Admit it; you'll be taking advantage of Chase’s diagnostic talents and he’ll be stuck working with you.”
“Shhh, don’t tell him that. It will come as quite the surprise when he finds out.”
“Uh huh. You want to work with Chase again because he’s a total moron.”
“Close enough. I need a case. Got any cases for me?”
Wilson sighed. “If I did, you’d know about it already.”
House rose and headed for the door. “I’m off to find a case then.”
“Good luck with that,” Wilson called after him. Good luck to Chase, too, he thought.
********************************
Chase wasn’t the least bit surprised to see a case folder on his desk the next day. What did surprise him was the fact that it was such a no-brainer. Either he has no faith in me or he was in a damn big hurry to come up with something.
He stuck a big Post-it note on the first page of the file and dropped it into the transport bin.
********************************
House wasn’t the least bit surprised to see the folder back so soon. He opened it and smiled as he read Chase’s diagnostic note:
Duh. C
For once we agree right from the beginning, House thought. Promising.
********************************
Chase was just tucking into his cafeteria sandwich when House appeared next to his table and sat down across the table.
“Mind if I join you?”
“Since you’re already seated, I don’t see that I have much choice.”
“Nope,” House beamed as he reached over and grabbed a handful of Chase’s chips.
Chase shook his head. “Oh, please, help yourself, House. I wouldn’t have bought them if I actually wanted to eat them.”
“That’s the way I figure it. Wilson does that a lot too.”
“I’ve noticed. Pardon me if I don’t put down my sandwich, but I really am hungry. I’m also on a short break, so if you have anything to say, get on with it. And if it’s a case, it better be more interesting than the last one. You could actually wait until you have something interesting, you know. Not…”
“No time like the present, get the momentum going, that sort of thing…” House interrupted.
“NOT,” Chase continued, “jump in before my real boss gives me the go-ahead to work on a case with you.”
House gave him the ‘you moron’ face. “Think how little would get done if we all waited for permission to do what we want.”
Chase replied with his ‘you‘re being an arsehole’ face. “Maybe you never noticed, House, but there’s a big difference between asking permission and making arrangements. Someone might actually need an intensivist while I’m off playing doctor with you.”
“You know, that could be taken a couple of ways. Do you like to play Doctor? ‘Cause I’m not dressing up like a nurse. Just saying.”
“Oh God,” Chase moaned as he grabbed his dishes and headed off. “The hospital storeroom doesn’t have enough bleach to remove that image from my brain.”
House grinned. “Made you think about it. My work here is done.”
********************************
Two days later…
House had decided that he needed to find a decent case this time. None were forthcoming, though, and he was getting impatient. Hell, it’s worth a shot, he thought as he pulled out his pager. He figured he’d keep it simple:
Dinner?
Chase’s response took twenty minutes:
Case?
House smiled. The game was afoot.
Dinner.
Case.
I want dinner first.
I want world peace. Deal with it.
Damn, House frowned. I really need a case.
********************************
Chase was rather surprised not to hear from House for a few days. Then one evening he headed back to his office at the end of a long shift and found another folder on his desk. A Post-it on the first page simply said,
You should find this more to your liking. H
Chase rolled his eyes. This had better not be a cross-dressing sociopath. He sat down to read through the notes. Of course, he already tried that one on me. He’s not likely to repeat himself.
It only took a couple of pages to determine that this could be the real thing: a diagnostic mystery.
********************************
********************************
Next chapter