thinking late thoughts
Isn't it funny when you realise members of your family are people you'd actually hang out with, even if they weren't your relatives? Ie, my cousin is a music guy, he always has been and he's always talked about getting a band together. So, he finally did and he brought their first EP to Thanksgiving. And, we're listening to it, and I *like* it. It sounds like music I listened to at university (I had this brief thing with a guy in this band and I went to their shows my entire four years there. Anyway.) And, so I'm planning on going to some of his shows, since he lives around here. (For those of you who are around here also, they might be getting a regular gig at the Norva!)
Also, I've known this forever, but my brother is awesome. The funniest person I know, bar none, plus he's got kick-ass taste in music, etc. It just struck me again last night when we were out.
It's just been weird being back, and being, like, friends with my parents more than anything. I keep almost slipping up and telling them shit I did in high school (sneaking out, going skinny-dipping, etc.) because I sort-of forget they're my parents. And as much fun as we're having, and as much as we're more friends than anything, I don't think they'd love to hear about my climbing out the window, or people coming to get me in the middle of the night, or using my pool privileges to 'get my swerve on,' as one of my university friends put it.
In other news:
Dear Ms. Lopez (or Lo, or soon-to-be-Affleck),
If you're so real, *please* stop telling us about it. People that are actually 'real' don't feel the need to beat the rest of us over the head with it.
Thank you,
The World
Ahem. I had the unfortunate pleasure (?) of seeing her new 'Jenny from the Block' video this morning. Oi, that's all I have to say.
And! More stories! The dames already recognize these, but I'm putting them up anyway. Cause I'm still loving the newness of this lj. It's so fun!
[Potter, 'City Sun Set']
A/N - Title and summary taken from PJ Harvey’s ‘This Mess We’re In.’ Question taken from a Rolling Stone interview with Ethan Hawke; Harry’s answer is his.
‘Do you like happy endings or sad endings?’ she asks him, as they lie twisted together; skin damp, cheeks flushed, afterglow, she thinks they call it.
It’s the first words she’s spoken all night and they can see the dawn creeping up on the horizon, beginning to shine off the river. He lays silent for a moment, contemplating the question. She loves that he does that; seriously contemplates the question.
‘Happy endings,’ he finally says, his voice a rumble from lack of sleep. ‘We’ve all had enough sad endings for a few lifetimes. Everyone deserves some kind of happy ending.’
There is no hint, no innuendo in his voice. This is another thing she loves. He could have easily made her question something else, something that she never intended, something that maybe she did. But he didn’t.
She says nothing, but slips silently from the bed, gathering her clothes about her and dressing. She watches the sun creep up the river, glinting off the glass and steel of the city.
The only thing she says as she leaves is ‘Nice view.’
He says nothing, silently watching from the bed.
~
‘Ginny!’
Ginny turned around and smiled at Hermione, who was rushing up the street in a whirl of paper and hair. Before she could say anything, Hermione leaned in and gave her a kiss on the cheek, then pulled back breathlessly. ‘Sorry I’m late but work’s been a nightmare and then-‘
‘Hermione! It’s fine,’ Ginny laughed, fixing a smile to her face. ‘It’s not as if I have a tight schedule to keep.’
Hermione laughed as she entered the pub, looking around for an empty table. Spotting one in the corner, she headed over to it, dumping her bag and folders into an empty seat before settling down in her own. ‘That must be nice.’
Ginny looked up, startled. She looked blankly at Hermione for a moment before slightly shaking herself and smiling. ‘Oh, not having a tight schedule.’ Here she paused, blinking. ‘It’s not all it’s cracked up to be. I’ll go order, shall I?’
Before waiting for Hermione’s reply, she got up and headed to the counter. After placing her order for two jacket potatoes, she sighed and closed her eyes briefly before ordering two pints. She leaned against the bar, biting her lip, then took both and turned towards the table, fixing a smile to her face.
Setting the pints down and sitting down herself, she saw Hermione looking at her curiously.
‘Is anything wrong, Gin?’
Ginny shook her head and smiled briefly. ‘No, of course not. I’m just a bit bored, to tell you the truth. I thought not working before the wedding would make things easier, but I forgot who my mum is,’ she said, rolling her eyes.
Hermione laughed, her eyes twinkling. ‘Ahhh. Is Molly on the warpath again? I haven’t been over in a while.’
At this, Ginny raised her eyebrow, feeling some semblance of normal return. ‘So we noticed. Neither you nor Mr Potter have graced us with your presence lately. Any particular reason?’
Hermione pinked and spluttered, ‘Actually, work for both of us has been really demanding lately. Plus, we’re still trying to get everything settled in the flat and-‘
‘Hermione! Stop. It’s fine,’ Ginny laughed. ‘I’m not there any more than I have to be either. Except, she claims to need me there all the shagging time.’
Hermione’s brow furrowed as she took a sip of her pint. ‘Don’t you want to be there? Aren’t you getting excited?’
Ginny immediately smiled and nodded. ‘Of course I am. I just…she’s driving me bloody crazy. Everything’s been prepared and ordered and arranged and planned and paid for. There’s nothing to be done, but she’s always finding some crisis.’
Hermione nodded, remembering Percy’s wedding.
‘You and Harry are lucky you won’t have to deal with her, at any rate,’ Ginny said, feeling genuinely pleased at Hermione’s slow smile that followed. ‘Let’s not talk about it anymore, though. I’ve had too much wedding talk lately.’
Before Hermione could say anything, their food arrived. As Ginny contemplated her potato, she blurted out her question. ‘Do you like happy endings or sad endings?’
Hermione’s head snapped up, potato and cheese dripping from her fork. ‘What?’
‘Do you like happy endings or sad endings?’
Putting down her fork, Hermione’s brow furrowed. ‘Happy endings or sad endings? Well, I don’t really believe in endings. Nothing ever really, truly ends; nothing. So, I think everything’s got a bit of both and everyone gets both in their life. I don’t believe in endings.’
~
She wakes slowly, her eyes blinking open like a newborn’s. When she sees the seemingly endless white, looking faintly blue, she smiles slightly, groggily, still half asleep. Something, she can’t remember what, something about that endless white makes her smile, makes her stomach fizz in pleasure. She stretches, closing her eyes and burying her face in the pillow. A groan issues from the pillow beside her and she lifts her head, staring at the other occupant of the bed. Her smile fades and she turns her face away, towards the window and what she sees there causes her stomach to sink even further.
Faint, undeniable light is creeping through the closed curtains. Turning away from him, she sets her feet on the floor and her body almost doubles in on itself. Her hands grip her ankles and she can feel the muscles in her back stretch, her head between her knees. Fighting back the tears and nausea in her throat, she straightens and looks around for her clothes.
She dresses, all the while averting her eyes from the bed and the prone form twisted in the sheets. The bile is still rising in the back of her throat and she’s swallowing convulsively, fighting it down. Picking up her bag from where she’s dropped it on the floor hours earlier, she slings it across herself and sweeps her eyes over the room once more, making sure she has everything.
Satisfied, she turns away and grips the doorknob, still swallowing. There is no sound in the room; she can feel his eyes on her back, scorching her. But neither of them says anything and she leaves.
She can feel his eyes burning in to her the rest of the day.
~
‘Ginny!’
Ginny turned around and smiled at Ron, as he waved at her from down the street. When he got closer to her, she sighed and tapped her watch, fixing a frown on her face, fighting down the smile that threatened to break through. When Ron got to her, he simply rolled his eyes and kissed her cheek before ushering her into the shop.
‘I’m not that late, Gin.’
She smiled up at him, feeling her stomach settle as he grinned down at her. As she watched, his smile faded and he shook his head at her. ‘I can’t believe this. My little baby sister all grown up and getting married.’
Ginny elbowed him in the ribs as they approached the backroom. ‘I thought we’d already gone over this, brother dear.’
He sighed and removed her elbow from his ribs as he smiled charmingly at the assistant. ‘Weasley,’ he told him, then turned back to Ginny, watching as she slid on to a chair and closed her eyes. ‘What’s the matter? You look exhausted.’
Ginny cracked her eye open, ‘It’s nothing.’
He tutted at her, not satisfied with her answer, as the assistant ushered him into a curtained room.
She laid her head back down and closed her eyes, repeating under her breath, ‘It’s nothing.’
‘Did you say something?’ Ron asked, his voice floating back to her through the curtain.
She shook her head, then remembered he couldn’t see her. ‘No,’ she called.
After a few minutes of silence, Ron’s voice floated out again. ‘I really want to thank you for doing this. It seemed like everyone else was busy and then mum started hinting that she was free and, well, you know.’
Ginny laughed, raising her head and watched the two pairs of feet under the curtain. ‘I know. Why do you think I’m here?’
Ron’s answering laugh came as the curtain opened and he strutted out, preening and fighting back a grin. ‘Well, how do I look? Will I knock ‘em dead?’
Ginny snorted and looked at him skeptically, her eyes narrowed. Then she smiled and nodded. ‘You look great.’
‘Really?’ he questioned, looking himself up and down in the mirror.
Ginny rolled her eyes. ‘I never thought I’d see the day you got vain.’
Ron gaped at her, his eyes widening at her in the mirror. ‘I’m not vain. I just want to look nice for my baby sister’s wedding.’
Ginny said nothing, just raised her eyebrow, watching as the assistant flitted around and smoothed things and then crouched down to fix his hem.
When she looked back up at Ron’s face, he was looking at her seriously, an unreadable expression in his eyes. ‘Speaking of vain, did you hear Draco’s finally returned?’
Ginny looked at him and closed her eyes briefly. ‘Why did you say it like that?’
Ron stared back at her, his lips tightening ever so slightly. ‘You know why, Gin. Don’t play daft with me.’
Ginny rolled her eyes, then shut them, laying her head back down. ‘I know. And, if you’ll remember, Draco and I were never anything other than friends before he left. And you know that.’
Ron made a noise in the back of his throat. ‘I know. But I just wanted to prepare you, in case you ran into him or something.’
Ginny sighed and raised her head once more. ‘Whatever.’
Ron said nothing, but shook his head, his eyes averted as watched the man crouched at his feet.
‘Listen, can I ask you something?’
Ron nodded, his eyes finding hers again in the mirror.
‘Do you like happy endings or sad endings?’
He said nothing for a moment, nodding at the assistant, as he indicated for Ron to go back in the changing room. ‘I don’t like endings,’ he said abruptly. ‘I like sequels.’
~
They never say this is wrong. They never say we shouldn’t be doing this. They never say what about him. They never say what about us.
They never say anything at all.
They know it’s wrong and they shouldn’t be doing it. They know what it would do to him and to them. They know.
They also know that none of that matters. When she appears every evening, the moon huge over Waterloo, nothing else matters. When he kisses her, his hands running through her hair, nothing else matters. When he’s inside her, nothing else matters.
They never even say it’s a one-time thing. When she pulls him to her that first time, they know. They know they can’t stop it and they know that nothing they or anyone else does will stop it.
When the moon is bright and the stars twinkle from thousands of years away, they’re the only thing that matters. It’s only when the sun starts pounding on the door of night, when the first ray appears in the upper right corner of the room, do other things matter.
But they never say anything. They never talk about it or have all-night conversations consisting of what are we going to do’s and hand-wringing. They stay up all night and they never talk.
They don’t need to. They both know it will end soon enough.
They just don’t know what kind of ending it will be.
~
‘Gin.’
Ginny’s head snapped up and saw Harry standing there with a concerned look on his face. She could hear everyone from the other room, laughing and talking; the faint glow from candles making everything shine. She shook herself and smiled at him, her gaze dropping.
Harry reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder and leaned down to look her in the eye. ‘Are you alright, Ginny? Hermione said you were preoccupied at lunch last week and now you’re standing here, staring out of the window. And I know it’s not for the lovely view,’ he laughed, waving a hand and indicating the newsagent and kebab shop across the street.
Ginny snorted and shook her head, smiling at him. ‘I still can’t believe you left your gorgeous flat to move in here. Why didn’t Hermione just move into yours?’
Harry shrugged and turned away, reaching up for another bottle of wine on top of the cabinets. ‘She loves this place and I didn’t really care about my flat. This one is loads more convenient for work and Diagon Alley and this part of town is fun,’ he said, turning around with the wine.
Ginny nodded and leaned back against the counter, while Harry did the same. He grinned and added, ‘Plus, I’d go anywhere to be with her, so across town wasn’t an issue.’
Ginny rolled her eyes and said, ‘I’m happy for you, but can I just say that I’m glad you waited this long? Now you can be as sappy as you like without the rest of us having to witness it.’
Harry laughed and crossed his arms. ‘To tell you the truth, so am I. I mean, I’m glad we waited this long. I think we both needed to grow up a bit first; I don’t know if it would have been as easy when we were younger.’
‘It is easy, isn’t it?’ Ginny asked, a faraway look in her eye. ‘When you really know, it’s easy.’
Harry nodded and took her hand. ‘I’m really happy for you, Gin. You’re going to be very happy together.’
Ginny swallowed, fighting back tears. ‘Thanks. Can I ask you a question?’
Harry nodded and dropped her hand.
‘Do you like happy endings or sad endings?’
Harry’s eyebrows raised and he looked at her seriously for a moment, then answered. ‘Honest endings
are best.’
~
She thanks Merlin every night for the Apparition point in his building. She Apparates when the moon is high, all traces of the sun gone. She wonders what his flat, what he, would look like in the sunlight.
He waits for her; even though it’s never the same time, he knows exactly when she’ll appear. He doesn’t do anything for her arrival, no seduction scenes here, he simply sits in his lounge and waits. She walks in the door and heads straight for the bedroom; she knows he’s waiting and he knows she knows.
She drops her bag and then he reaches for her, simply breathing her in. She pulls his head back and kisses him, closing her eyes. Tasting him, kissing is suddenly not enough and she pulls back slightly, her hands going to her own waist and drawing her shirt over her head.
As she drops it on the floor, he wraps his arms around her, his shirt on the floor as well. Before she can blink, her bra is gone and their bare chests are pressed together. He kisses her this time, one arm wrapped tightly around her waist, almost drawing her off her feet and the other at the back of her head, holding her in place as he plunders her mouth.
Her hands are scrabbling along his waistband, cheering silently when she gets the button undone. He pulls back abruptly and she gets the message. They waste no time undressing, shoes and socks under pools of hastily-discarded trousers.
Naked, they collapse on the bed, tangled together so closely they feel like one being with too many arms and legs. Her legs are wrapped around his waist; he can feel her heat against his stomach and her wetness is painting his abdomen. He groans at the sensation; he can feel himself harden in response.
He ends up on top, his weight welcome and right between her legs. There is no preparation or exploration; they know every fibre, every tendon, every hollow anyway. He plunges into her; she throws her head back, ‘fuck’ hissing out between her teeth. They quickly establish a rhythm, kissing sloppily and never opening their eyes.
He comes first and he can feel her striving for it, thrusting against him, her brow furrowed. He raises himself with an effort and reaches one hand between them and circles her clit. He can feel her body tighten, then explode and she collapses back into the pillow, sighing. He slips out of her and rolls over to lay beside her.
The moon keeps watch as they burrow down into the duvet and fall asleep; her light snores mixing with his breathing.
~
‘Ginny. Honey?’
Ginny’s eyes focused and she blinked, smiling at her mother standing behind her in the mirror. ‘Yes, Mum?’
Molly’s eyes filled with tears and she smoothed an arm down her daughter’s arm as Ginny watched in the mirror. ‘You look beautiful, honey.’
‘Thanks, Mum,’ Ginny said, no inflection in her voice. She looked at herself in the mirror; she did look beautiful, like every bride should. White dress, flowers laying on the bureau before her, hair up, her mum crying about losing her baby, her maid of honour flitting around, smoothing the skirt of her dress and squeezing her hand.
The only thing wrong was the bile rising in her throat and the way her stomach felt like it was trying to crawl out of her legs. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply, tuning her mother’s chatter out.
When she felt marginally calm again, she opened her eyes and interrupted. ‘Mum?’
‘Yes, dear?’
‘Do you like happy endings or sad endings?’
Ginny saw Hermione’s head snap up at the question, her brow furrowed; Molly didn’t notice this reaction. Her mother’s eyes were focused on something neither of them could see.
‘I’ve always had a penchant for sad endings. They just seem to satisfy something that happy endings never quite do.’
Ginny nodded and seemed to consider that for a few minutes. She looked at the clock on the wall and batted their hands away. ‘Could you let me be alone for a few minutes?’
Both Molly and Hermione looked at her curiously, but shrugged. ‘Whatever the bride wants,’ Hermione joked, kissing her on the cheek as she left.
As the door closed, Ginny let out a huge breath and collapsed against the bureau, her locked elbows the only thing preventing her from falling to the ground. She felt the water she’d been drinking all morning sloshing around her stomach, making her feel queasy. Trying to ignore the feeling, she grabbed her glass again, swallowing; the cool water combated the rising bile. She felt tears start to build in her throat and her head began to swim.
Honest endings…sequels…happy endings…no endings…sad endings…
Sniffing and wiping her eyes, she turned around and looked at the sunlight playing through the leaves of the trees. She knew what she had to do; it wasn’t even a question.
‘At least Mum’ll appreciate this.’
~
He watches her sleep, face relaxed, eyelashes fluttering, sheets wrapped around her body, one leg hanging off the side of the bed.
He’s never able to watch her any other time; he never sees her any other time. Never during the day and not even when they’re in bed together. He just lays there, staring at her and wishes her eyes would open and he could see into them.
But he knows that if she did open her eyes, she would avert them, cutting them away, looking at the window, seeing if the light was visible yet. She never looks him in the eye; either staring past him or closing them.
He knows why they can’t afford to look at each other; he knows, but sometimes he doesn’t care. That first time, they watched each other, holding each other’s gaze as they kissed and licked and nipped and explored and felt. He didn’t close his eyes once that night, he remembers; neither did she.
Now, though, later, she doesn’t look at him. He doesn’t look at her either; he can’t stand to see her eyes focused on something other than him.
He understands, though; he knows why she does it. He doesn’t say anything; he sometimes slips and his eyes speak for him, he knows, but he tries not to.
It’s her decision, it’s her ending; she’s the one that has to make a choice. When he’s inside her, when he’s home, he knows what the decision will be. He knows and he doesn’t pressure her or say anything.
He knows he’ll get his ending soon enough.
~
‘Virginia.’
Ginny looked at him, staring at him, her face peaceful. He looked wonderful, she thought, sitting there, right where she knew he would be. She didn’t know what to feel; elation at the sight of him in the sun, glinting off his hair, his eyes narrowed against it as he looked up at her, sorrow at the thought of an open window, curtain fluttering in the breeze, ring deposited on the bureau next to flowers.
‘Draco.’
She said nothing else, but took his hand and sat beside him, her full white skirt hanging off the edge of the bench. He tightened his grip and sighed, leaning back.
They sat there for a few more moments in silence, watching the sun play off the river, off her hair and ignored the stares they were getting from the people passing them.
‘Nice view,’ she said and leaned against his side.
Draco chuckled and kissed her on the temple. ‘How did you know where I’d be?’
She shrugged, a real smile, her first in what felt like forever, broke out across her face. ‘Just did, you know.’
Draco smiled and nodded. ‘I know.’
Ginny sat up and turned toward him, staring at him, into his eyes. He stared back at her, his hand tightened on hers, noting the absence of her ring.
They don’t say anything, simply staring at each other. Suddenly, Ginny spoke.
‘You look good in the sunlight.’
~
She wakes slowly, her eyes blinking open like a newborn’s. When she sees the seemingly endless white, looking faintly blue, she smiles slightly, groggily, still half asleep. Something, she can’t remember what, something about that endless white makes her smile, makes her stomach fizz in pleasure. She stretches, closing her eyes and burying her face in the pillow. A groan issues from the pillow beside her and she lifts her head, staring at the other occupant of the bed.
Her smile widens and she thinks, his white sheets, his white duvet; that’s what makes her smile. She turns her head and sees faint, undeniable light creeping up the river, already glinting off the glass and steel of the city. She groans and buries back into the covers, noting the first ray of light in the upper right corner of the room.
A teasing voice in her ear makes her smile. ‘I thought you said you’d always love to see this room in the sunlight.’
She opens her eyes and then narrows them, his eyes crinkling further as he takes in her rumpled appearance. ‘Not when it means I have to get up for work.’
He says nothing, a hand reaching out to smooth one unruly strand of hair behind her ear. She catches his hand in hers and kisses his palm before twining their fingers together. This is the only thing that matters, right here, he thinks. They don’t speak, they don’t need to much, but he can feel the question building in his throat. He knows he got his ending but he wonders.
He clears his throat. ‘Can I ask you a question?’
She nods, her brow furrowing slightly at the serious look in his eye.
‘Do you like happy endings or sad endings?’
Her smile fades and she stares at him. Then she smiles again and her grip tightens on his hand, watching the sunlight crawl down the wall.
‘I don’t like endings. I like beginnings.’
END
Ginny-centric - This sin and the mess we're in and the city sun sets over me.
I'm still walking on air, yo. Even though I got *no* sleep last night. *glares at Eb* Love ya, babe.
Also, I've known this forever, but my brother is awesome. The funniest person I know, bar none, plus he's got kick-ass taste in music, etc. It just struck me again last night when we were out.
It's just been weird being back, and being, like, friends with my parents more than anything. I keep almost slipping up and telling them shit I did in high school (sneaking out, going skinny-dipping, etc.) because I sort-of forget they're my parents. And as much fun as we're having, and as much as we're more friends than anything, I don't think they'd love to hear about my climbing out the window, or people coming to get me in the middle of the night, or using my pool privileges to 'get my swerve on,' as one of my university friends put it.
In other news:
Dear Ms. Lopez (or Lo, or soon-to-be-Affleck),
If you're so real, *please* stop telling us about it. People that are actually 'real' don't feel the need to beat the rest of us over the head with it.
Thank you,
The World
Ahem. I had the unfortunate pleasure (?) of seeing her new 'Jenny from the Block' video this morning. Oi, that's all I have to say.
And! More stories! The dames already recognize these, but I'm putting them up anyway. Cause I'm still loving the newness of this lj. It's so fun!
[Potter, 'City Sun Set']
A/N - Title and summary taken from PJ Harvey’s ‘This Mess We’re In.’ Question taken from a Rolling Stone interview with Ethan Hawke; Harry’s answer is his.
‘Do you like happy endings or sad endings?’ she asks him, as they lie twisted together; skin damp, cheeks flushed, afterglow, she thinks they call it.
It’s the first words she’s spoken all night and they can see the dawn creeping up on the horizon, beginning to shine off the river. He lays silent for a moment, contemplating the question. She loves that he does that; seriously contemplates the question.
‘Happy endings,’ he finally says, his voice a rumble from lack of sleep. ‘We’ve all had enough sad endings for a few lifetimes. Everyone deserves some kind of happy ending.’
There is no hint, no innuendo in his voice. This is another thing she loves. He could have easily made her question something else, something that she never intended, something that maybe she did. But he didn’t.
She says nothing, but slips silently from the bed, gathering her clothes about her and dressing. She watches the sun creep up the river, glinting off the glass and steel of the city.
The only thing she says as she leaves is ‘Nice view.’
He says nothing, silently watching from the bed.
~
‘Ginny!’
Ginny turned around and smiled at Hermione, who was rushing up the street in a whirl of paper and hair. Before she could say anything, Hermione leaned in and gave her a kiss on the cheek, then pulled back breathlessly. ‘Sorry I’m late but work’s been a nightmare and then-‘
‘Hermione! It’s fine,’ Ginny laughed, fixing a smile to her face. ‘It’s not as if I have a tight schedule to keep.’
Hermione laughed as she entered the pub, looking around for an empty table. Spotting one in the corner, she headed over to it, dumping her bag and folders into an empty seat before settling down in her own. ‘That must be nice.’
Ginny looked up, startled. She looked blankly at Hermione for a moment before slightly shaking herself and smiling. ‘Oh, not having a tight schedule.’ Here she paused, blinking. ‘It’s not all it’s cracked up to be. I’ll go order, shall I?’
Before waiting for Hermione’s reply, she got up and headed to the counter. After placing her order for two jacket potatoes, she sighed and closed her eyes briefly before ordering two pints. She leaned against the bar, biting her lip, then took both and turned towards the table, fixing a smile to her face.
Setting the pints down and sitting down herself, she saw Hermione looking at her curiously.
‘Is anything wrong, Gin?’
Ginny shook her head and smiled briefly. ‘No, of course not. I’m just a bit bored, to tell you the truth. I thought not working before the wedding would make things easier, but I forgot who my mum is,’ she said, rolling her eyes.
Hermione laughed, her eyes twinkling. ‘Ahhh. Is Molly on the warpath again? I haven’t been over in a while.’
At this, Ginny raised her eyebrow, feeling some semblance of normal return. ‘So we noticed. Neither you nor Mr Potter have graced us with your presence lately. Any particular reason?’
Hermione pinked and spluttered, ‘Actually, work for both of us has been really demanding lately. Plus, we’re still trying to get everything settled in the flat and-‘
‘Hermione! Stop. It’s fine,’ Ginny laughed. ‘I’m not there any more than I have to be either. Except, she claims to need me there all the shagging time.’
Hermione’s brow furrowed as she took a sip of her pint. ‘Don’t you want to be there? Aren’t you getting excited?’
Ginny immediately smiled and nodded. ‘Of course I am. I just…she’s driving me bloody crazy. Everything’s been prepared and ordered and arranged and planned and paid for. There’s nothing to be done, but she’s always finding some crisis.’
Hermione nodded, remembering Percy’s wedding.
‘You and Harry are lucky you won’t have to deal with her, at any rate,’ Ginny said, feeling genuinely pleased at Hermione’s slow smile that followed. ‘Let’s not talk about it anymore, though. I’ve had too much wedding talk lately.’
Before Hermione could say anything, their food arrived. As Ginny contemplated her potato, she blurted out her question. ‘Do you like happy endings or sad endings?’
Hermione’s head snapped up, potato and cheese dripping from her fork. ‘What?’
‘Do you like happy endings or sad endings?’
Putting down her fork, Hermione’s brow furrowed. ‘Happy endings or sad endings? Well, I don’t really believe in endings. Nothing ever really, truly ends; nothing. So, I think everything’s got a bit of both and everyone gets both in their life. I don’t believe in endings.’
~
She wakes slowly, her eyes blinking open like a newborn’s. When she sees the seemingly endless white, looking faintly blue, she smiles slightly, groggily, still half asleep. Something, she can’t remember what, something about that endless white makes her smile, makes her stomach fizz in pleasure. She stretches, closing her eyes and burying her face in the pillow. A groan issues from the pillow beside her and she lifts her head, staring at the other occupant of the bed. Her smile fades and she turns her face away, towards the window and what she sees there causes her stomach to sink even further.
Faint, undeniable light is creeping through the closed curtains. Turning away from him, she sets her feet on the floor and her body almost doubles in on itself. Her hands grip her ankles and she can feel the muscles in her back stretch, her head between her knees. Fighting back the tears and nausea in her throat, she straightens and looks around for her clothes.
She dresses, all the while averting her eyes from the bed and the prone form twisted in the sheets. The bile is still rising in the back of her throat and she’s swallowing convulsively, fighting it down. Picking up her bag from where she’s dropped it on the floor hours earlier, she slings it across herself and sweeps her eyes over the room once more, making sure she has everything.
Satisfied, she turns away and grips the doorknob, still swallowing. There is no sound in the room; she can feel his eyes on her back, scorching her. But neither of them says anything and she leaves.
She can feel his eyes burning in to her the rest of the day.
~
‘Ginny!’
Ginny turned around and smiled at Ron, as he waved at her from down the street. When he got closer to her, she sighed and tapped her watch, fixing a frown on her face, fighting down the smile that threatened to break through. When Ron got to her, he simply rolled his eyes and kissed her cheek before ushering her into the shop.
‘I’m not that late, Gin.’
She smiled up at him, feeling her stomach settle as he grinned down at her. As she watched, his smile faded and he shook his head at her. ‘I can’t believe this. My little baby sister all grown up and getting married.’
Ginny elbowed him in the ribs as they approached the backroom. ‘I thought we’d already gone over this, brother dear.’
He sighed and removed her elbow from his ribs as he smiled charmingly at the assistant. ‘Weasley,’ he told him, then turned back to Ginny, watching as she slid on to a chair and closed her eyes. ‘What’s the matter? You look exhausted.’
Ginny cracked her eye open, ‘It’s nothing.’
He tutted at her, not satisfied with her answer, as the assistant ushered him into a curtained room.
She laid her head back down and closed her eyes, repeating under her breath, ‘It’s nothing.’
‘Did you say something?’ Ron asked, his voice floating back to her through the curtain.
She shook her head, then remembered he couldn’t see her. ‘No,’ she called.
After a few minutes of silence, Ron’s voice floated out again. ‘I really want to thank you for doing this. It seemed like everyone else was busy and then mum started hinting that she was free and, well, you know.’
Ginny laughed, raising her head and watched the two pairs of feet under the curtain. ‘I know. Why do you think I’m here?’
Ron’s answering laugh came as the curtain opened and he strutted out, preening and fighting back a grin. ‘Well, how do I look? Will I knock ‘em dead?’
Ginny snorted and looked at him skeptically, her eyes narrowed. Then she smiled and nodded. ‘You look great.’
‘Really?’ he questioned, looking himself up and down in the mirror.
Ginny rolled her eyes. ‘I never thought I’d see the day you got vain.’
Ron gaped at her, his eyes widening at her in the mirror. ‘I’m not vain. I just want to look nice for my baby sister’s wedding.’
Ginny said nothing, just raised her eyebrow, watching as the assistant flitted around and smoothed things and then crouched down to fix his hem.
When she looked back up at Ron’s face, he was looking at her seriously, an unreadable expression in his eyes. ‘Speaking of vain, did you hear Draco’s finally returned?’
Ginny looked at him and closed her eyes briefly. ‘Why did you say it like that?’
Ron stared back at her, his lips tightening ever so slightly. ‘You know why, Gin. Don’t play daft with me.’
Ginny rolled her eyes, then shut them, laying her head back down. ‘I know. And, if you’ll remember, Draco and I were never anything other than friends before he left. And you know that.’
Ron made a noise in the back of his throat. ‘I know. But I just wanted to prepare you, in case you ran into him or something.’
Ginny sighed and raised her head once more. ‘Whatever.’
Ron said nothing, but shook his head, his eyes averted as watched the man crouched at his feet.
‘Listen, can I ask you something?’
Ron nodded, his eyes finding hers again in the mirror.
‘Do you like happy endings or sad endings?’
He said nothing for a moment, nodding at the assistant, as he indicated for Ron to go back in the changing room. ‘I don’t like endings,’ he said abruptly. ‘I like sequels.’
~
They never say this is wrong. They never say we shouldn’t be doing this. They never say what about him. They never say what about us.
They never say anything at all.
They know it’s wrong and they shouldn’t be doing it. They know what it would do to him and to them. They know.
They also know that none of that matters. When she appears every evening, the moon huge over Waterloo, nothing else matters. When he kisses her, his hands running through her hair, nothing else matters. When he’s inside her, nothing else matters.
They never even say it’s a one-time thing. When she pulls him to her that first time, they know. They know they can’t stop it and they know that nothing they or anyone else does will stop it.
When the moon is bright and the stars twinkle from thousands of years away, they’re the only thing that matters. It’s only when the sun starts pounding on the door of night, when the first ray appears in the upper right corner of the room, do other things matter.
But they never say anything. They never talk about it or have all-night conversations consisting of what are we going to do’s and hand-wringing. They stay up all night and they never talk.
They don’t need to. They both know it will end soon enough.
They just don’t know what kind of ending it will be.
~
‘Gin.’
Ginny’s head snapped up and saw Harry standing there with a concerned look on his face. She could hear everyone from the other room, laughing and talking; the faint glow from candles making everything shine. She shook herself and smiled at him, her gaze dropping.
Harry reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder and leaned down to look her in the eye. ‘Are you alright, Ginny? Hermione said you were preoccupied at lunch last week and now you’re standing here, staring out of the window. And I know it’s not for the lovely view,’ he laughed, waving a hand and indicating the newsagent and kebab shop across the street.
Ginny snorted and shook her head, smiling at him. ‘I still can’t believe you left your gorgeous flat to move in here. Why didn’t Hermione just move into yours?’
Harry shrugged and turned away, reaching up for another bottle of wine on top of the cabinets. ‘She loves this place and I didn’t really care about my flat. This one is loads more convenient for work and Diagon Alley and this part of town is fun,’ he said, turning around with the wine.
Ginny nodded and leaned back against the counter, while Harry did the same. He grinned and added, ‘Plus, I’d go anywhere to be with her, so across town wasn’t an issue.’
Ginny rolled her eyes and said, ‘I’m happy for you, but can I just say that I’m glad you waited this long? Now you can be as sappy as you like without the rest of us having to witness it.’
Harry laughed and crossed his arms. ‘To tell you the truth, so am I. I mean, I’m glad we waited this long. I think we both needed to grow up a bit first; I don’t know if it would have been as easy when we were younger.’
‘It is easy, isn’t it?’ Ginny asked, a faraway look in her eye. ‘When you really know, it’s easy.’
Harry nodded and took her hand. ‘I’m really happy for you, Gin. You’re going to be very happy together.’
Ginny swallowed, fighting back tears. ‘Thanks. Can I ask you a question?’
Harry nodded and dropped her hand.
‘Do you like happy endings or sad endings?’
Harry’s eyebrows raised and he looked at her seriously for a moment, then answered. ‘Honest endings
are best.’
~
She thanks Merlin every night for the Apparition point in his building. She Apparates when the moon is high, all traces of the sun gone. She wonders what his flat, what he, would look like in the sunlight.
He waits for her; even though it’s never the same time, he knows exactly when she’ll appear. He doesn’t do anything for her arrival, no seduction scenes here, he simply sits in his lounge and waits. She walks in the door and heads straight for the bedroom; she knows he’s waiting and he knows she knows.
She drops her bag and then he reaches for her, simply breathing her in. She pulls his head back and kisses him, closing her eyes. Tasting him, kissing is suddenly not enough and she pulls back slightly, her hands going to her own waist and drawing her shirt over her head.
As she drops it on the floor, he wraps his arms around her, his shirt on the floor as well. Before she can blink, her bra is gone and their bare chests are pressed together. He kisses her this time, one arm wrapped tightly around her waist, almost drawing her off her feet and the other at the back of her head, holding her in place as he plunders her mouth.
Her hands are scrabbling along his waistband, cheering silently when she gets the button undone. He pulls back abruptly and she gets the message. They waste no time undressing, shoes and socks under pools of hastily-discarded trousers.
Naked, they collapse on the bed, tangled together so closely they feel like one being with too many arms and legs. Her legs are wrapped around his waist; he can feel her heat against his stomach and her wetness is painting his abdomen. He groans at the sensation; he can feel himself harden in response.
He ends up on top, his weight welcome and right between her legs. There is no preparation or exploration; they know every fibre, every tendon, every hollow anyway. He plunges into her; she throws her head back, ‘fuck’ hissing out between her teeth. They quickly establish a rhythm, kissing sloppily and never opening their eyes.
He comes first and he can feel her striving for it, thrusting against him, her brow furrowed. He raises himself with an effort and reaches one hand between them and circles her clit. He can feel her body tighten, then explode and she collapses back into the pillow, sighing. He slips out of her and rolls over to lay beside her.
The moon keeps watch as they burrow down into the duvet and fall asleep; her light snores mixing with his breathing.
~
‘Ginny. Honey?’
Ginny’s eyes focused and she blinked, smiling at her mother standing behind her in the mirror. ‘Yes, Mum?’
Molly’s eyes filled with tears and she smoothed an arm down her daughter’s arm as Ginny watched in the mirror. ‘You look beautiful, honey.’
‘Thanks, Mum,’ Ginny said, no inflection in her voice. She looked at herself in the mirror; she did look beautiful, like every bride should. White dress, flowers laying on the bureau before her, hair up, her mum crying about losing her baby, her maid of honour flitting around, smoothing the skirt of her dress and squeezing her hand.
The only thing wrong was the bile rising in her throat and the way her stomach felt like it was trying to crawl out of her legs. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply, tuning her mother’s chatter out.
When she felt marginally calm again, she opened her eyes and interrupted. ‘Mum?’
‘Yes, dear?’
‘Do you like happy endings or sad endings?’
Ginny saw Hermione’s head snap up at the question, her brow furrowed; Molly didn’t notice this reaction. Her mother’s eyes were focused on something neither of them could see.
‘I’ve always had a penchant for sad endings. They just seem to satisfy something that happy endings never quite do.’
Ginny nodded and seemed to consider that for a few minutes. She looked at the clock on the wall and batted their hands away. ‘Could you let me be alone for a few minutes?’
Both Molly and Hermione looked at her curiously, but shrugged. ‘Whatever the bride wants,’ Hermione joked, kissing her on the cheek as she left.
As the door closed, Ginny let out a huge breath and collapsed against the bureau, her locked elbows the only thing preventing her from falling to the ground. She felt the water she’d been drinking all morning sloshing around her stomach, making her feel queasy. Trying to ignore the feeling, she grabbed her glass again, swallowing; the cool water combated the rising bile. She felt tears start to build in her throat and her head began to swim.
Honest endings…sequels…happy endings…no endings…sad endings…
Sniffing and wiping her eyes, she turned around and looked at the sunlight playing through the leaves of the trees. She knew what she had to do; it wasn’t even a question.
‘At least Mum’ll appreciate this.’
~
He watches her sleep, face relaxed, eyelashes fluttering, sheets wrapped around her body, one leg hanging off the side of the bed.
He’s never able to watch her any other time; he never sees her any other time. Never during the day and not even when they’re in bed together. He just lays there, staring at her and wishes her eyes would open and he could see into them.
But he knows that if she did open her eyes, she would avert them, cutting them away, looking at the window, seeing if the light was visible yet. She never looks him in the eye; either staring past him or closing them.
He knows why they can’t afford to look at each other; he knows, but sometimes he doesn’t care. That first time, they watched each other, holding each other’s gaze as they kissed and licked and nipped and explored and felt. He didn’t close his eyes once that night, he remembers; neither did she.
Now, though, later, she doesn’t look at him. He doesn’t look at her either; he can’t stand to see her eyes focused on something other than him.
He understands, though; he knows why she does it. He doesn’t say anything; he sometimes slips and his eyes speak for him, he knows, but he tries not to.
It’s her decision, it’s her ending; she’s the one that has to make a choice. When he’s inside her, when he’s home, he knows what the decision will be. He knows and he doesn’t pressure her or say anything.
He knows he’ll get his ending soon enough.
~
‘Virginia.’
Ginny looked at him, staring at him, her face peaceful. He looked wonderful, she thought, sitting there, right where she knew he would be. She didn’t know what to feel; elation at the sight of him in the sun, glinting off his hair, his eyes narrowed against it as he looked up at her, sorrow at the thought of an open window, curtain fluttering in the breeze, ring deposited on the bureau next to flowers.
‘Draco.’
She said nothing else, but took his hand and sat beside him, her full white skirt hanging off the edge of the bench. He tightened his grip and sighed, leaning back.
They sat there for a few more moments in silence, watching the sun play off the river, off her hair and ignored the stares they were getting from the people passing them.
‘Nice view,’ she said and leaned against his side.
Draco chuckled and kissed her on the temple. ‘How did you know where I’d be?’
She shrugged, a real smile, her first in what felt like forever, broke out across her face. ‘Just did, you know.’
Draco smiled and nodded. ‘I know.’
Ginny sat up and turned toward him, staring at him, into his eyes. He stared back at her, his hand tightened on hers, noting the absence of her ring.
They don’t say anything, simply staring at each other. Suddenly, Ginny spoke.
‘You look good in the sunlight.’
~
She wakes slowly, her eyes blinking open like a newborn’s. When she sees the seemingly endless white, looking faintly blue, she smiles slightly, groggily, still half asleep. Something, she can’t remember what, something about that endless white makes her smile, makes her stomach fizz in pleasure. She stretches, closing her eyes and burying her face in the pillow. A groan issues from the pillow beside her and she lifts her head, staring at the other occupant of the bed.
Her smile widens and she thinks, his white sheets, his white duvet; that’s what makes her smile. She turns her head and sees faint, undeniable light creeping up the river, already glinting off the glass and steel of the city. She groans and buries back into the covers, noting the first ray of light in the upper right corner of the room.
A teasing voice in her ear makes her smile. ‘I thought you said you’d always love to see this room in the sunlight.’
She opens her eyes and then narrows them, his eyes crinkling further as he takes in her rumpled appearance. ‘Not when it means I have to get up for work.’
He says nothing, a hand reaching out to smooth one unruly strand of hair behind her ear. She catches his hand in hers and kisses his palm before twining their fingers together. This is the only thing that matters, right here, he thinks. They don’t speak, they don’t need to much, but he can feel the question building in his throat. He knows he got his ending but he wonders.
He clears his throat. ‘Can I ask you a question?’
She nods, her brow furrowing slightly at the serious look in his eye.
‘Do you like happy endings or sad endings?’
Her smile fades and she stares at him. Then she smiles again and her grip tightens on his hand, watching the sunlight crawl down the wall.
‘I don’t like endings. I like beginnings.’
END
Ginny-centric - This sin and the mess we're in and the city sun sets over me.
I'm still walking on air, yo. Even though I got *no* sleep last night. *glares at Eb* Love ya, babe.