Chapter 4
Title: Mr. and Mrs. Spencer
Chapter: #4: You Snore/8
Rating: PG
Summary: The gang helps Eliot run a con... on his parents.
Disclaimer: I do not own Leverage nor am I associated with Dean Devlin, Christian Kane, Beth Riesgraf, Timothy Hutton, Gina Bellman or Aldis Hodge.
A/N: I'm not sure how happy I am with this chapter; what do you guys think?
The Spencers had been there three excruciatingly long days when Margaret decided she wanted to see the sights; she had never been to Chicago and, while Eliot and Leroy both tried to convince her there wasn't much to see, she was insistent. Parker, on the other hand, was overly excited about the idea. It wasn't until she persuaded Margaret that they just had to visit the Sears Tower Skydeck that Eliot realized why. She was giddy all the way up the elevator, dancing from one foot to the other, much to his chagrin. Leroy grumblingly wandered through the museum with his wife while Parker herded her 'other half' outside.
"Ah! I've always wanted to zip up here," she admitted, the wind whipping her hair into his face.
Eliot shook his head. "There's something wrong with you."
"You need a new line," Parker glared, hands on hips, as she parked herself by the railing. He grunted, leaning beside her. She dropped her arms to her sides. "Your mom seems really nice."
Eliot raised his eyebrows, but didn't look at her. "Your dad's kind of a jerk, though."
He let out a barking laugh. "I thought the only reason you were doing this was to find out what's wrong with me. See? Mission accomplished."
"No."
He twisted to see her better. "No, what?"
"No, I'm not doing it to find out what's wrong with you. I don't think there is anything wrong with you," she clarified. He stared at her like she'd grown a second head and a third eyeball, but before he could formulate a response, Margaret and Leroy joined them.
"Did you know this thing cost over $150 million in 1973? That's ridiculous! Think of all the things that money could have gone towards," Leroy was saying. Eliot rolled his eyes, grateful for the ringing of his phone in his pocket.
Glancing at the screen that read 'Sophie,' he flipped it open. "Hey, Sophie."
"Hi! Where are you?"
"Ah… the top of Sears Tower. Why?" Parker was deep in a conversation with the Spencers about the cost of every item in the building, but listening to him with half an ear.
"Well, I want you to come to my play tonight! The theatre is on 37th St, right on the corner," she explained, excited.
Eliot froze. "Um, well, I don't, I-I-I think Parker might have made plans or something," he stammered.
"Well is she with you?" Sophie demanded.
He gave a defeated sounding, "Ye-ah."
"So ask her! I really want you guys to be there. It's going to be great!"
He took a deep breath before holding the phone to his chest. "Par-ker?" he got her attention, his voice cracking. She looked up expectantly at him, so he continued. "Um, Sophie wants to know if-if we can come to her play tonight."
Her eyes widened and she shook her head fiercely. "No. No! What are you, nuts?" Eliot swallowed hard. "Tell her anything! Say you already made dinner and you don't want it to go to waste. Or you're having a heart attack and you have to go to the hospital. Anything!"
Margaret gasped. "Why that's terrible! You two ought to be ashamed of yourselves. Trying to get out of a good friend's invitation! I raised you better than that, Eliot Raymond Spencer!" Eliot cringed under his mother's scolding.
"Mom, you don’t understand! The woman is terrible!" he hissed, his voice dropping an octave.
"She can't be that bad. I want to go. Tell her we'll be there," Margaret ordered and, to Parker's horror, he meekly obeyed. She jumped when he pulled the phone away from his ear, Sophie's squeal just about breaking his eardrum. Slowly, he hung up.
"Well. It looks like we're going to the theater."
"Do you have any idea how much I want to throw myself over this railing?"
---
Hardison, Parker, Eliot and his parents walked from the dingy, little theater into the cool, night air in shock. They moved slowly, as though in serious, physical pain. Leroy grabbed his son's arm.
"What do you say to her after one of these performances?" he asked in mortification.
Eliot patted his shoulder. "Just follow our lead." He turned as Sophie popped out the double doors, a wide grin on her lips.
"Did you like it? Was I good? God, I was so nervous!" She hugged Hardison and then Eliot, receiving smiles and kisses on the cheek.
"You were genius, sweetie." "As always." With Parker's interjection of, "So way better than last time," followed by a giggle. Margaret and Leroy's smiles were less schooled and a bit more pained but they at least satisfied Sophie.
"Where's Nate?" she finally asked, breathless.
"Uh, he's in the little boys' room," Hardison supplied as he scratched the back of his head.
"Speak of the devil," Parker added, wrapping her arms around Eliot's waist and resting her head on his back.
Nathan half-skipped over the last step from the downstairs bar, plastering on a grin for Sophie. Holding out his arms, he murmured something about 'fabulous' and dipped his lips to hers in a pleasantly searing kiss. Sophie stood stiff in his arms, startled, for probably around a half a second before responding in kind. The team turned awkwardly away, looking somewhere between distinctly thankful and distinctly grossed out.
After several long moments of- soul-searching- the two broke apart. Sophie swiped at a dash of lipstick on his bottom lip, breathing heavily. "So, are we going to go out or what?" she asked of the team, still wrapped in Nathan's arms, as though nothing had happened.
"Yes, yes, I vote food," Parker jumped in, hopping in front of Eliot and pulling his hands to her hips.
"Me too. How about that little Mexican place over on Bartway?" Hardison suggested.
Margaret wrinkled her nose. "Mexican gives Leroy indigestion, doesn't it, dear?"
"Mhmm," Leroy grunted, still too traumatized to be embarrassed by his wife.
"Actually, I think we'll just go back to Elly's apartment. We like to go to bed early and I wouldn't want to spoil your fun," Margaret announced.
"Well, there's quite a bit of lasagna in the fridge. We could just all go back to my-our," Eliot amended at the pinch from Parker, "place. That way you two can crash whenever you want." Nods and affirmatives were exchanged all around so the group split off to their individual cars, with Sophie jogging to catch up to Nathan's long stride. "You don't think I'm going to forgive you for skipping out on my play just because you kissed me, do you?"
He turned wide, scared, amused eyes on her. "I did not," he vehemently denied, "I would never!"
"Uh huh. Sure." Sophie grabbed his lapels, placing a second, lingering kiss on the corner of his mouth before walking around to the other side of the Tesla. "Well come on! What are you waiting for? At this rate, everyone else is going to be done by the time we get there."
Nathan shook his head, opening his bright red door.
---
They shared lasagna, shrimp salad, carrots and various other things Nate and Hardison scrounged out of Eliot's fridge. Forks and tupperware made for the fine china and a bottle of wine was passed around without glasses, somehow conveniently skipping Nate each time.
"So, I'm still not really clear on what it is you all do," Leroy stated, sitting ramrod straight in a rocking chair.
"We provide companies the support they need to send their employees all over the world, with knowledge of languages, customs, local haunts, whatever they need," Nate explained as he speared a carrot slice with his fork.
"So you're all travelers, then?" Margaret sighed dreamily at the confirmative answers. "I've always wanted to see the world."
"You should go! There's nothing like Paris. Spring, Fall, Christmas, whenever. It's the only city in the world that's breathtaking all year round," Sophie exclaimed.
"What is it with you and Paris? Seriously, ignore her. You really want to see something awesome? Try Taiwan. Tallest building in the world," Parker stared off cheerfully.
Eliot rolled his eyes. "Yeah that's it, Parker. Send my parents to Taiwan."
"What? Great Chinese food," she defended herself.
Hardison rolled his eyes. "That's because it's in China."
"No, no, no. You would love Alice Springs, Dad. No place in the world like it," Eliot disagreed.
Sophie groaned. "It's just dry, dusty outback!"
"Is not! There are some damn fine gum trees out there and more than a few waterholes."
"Exactly. Holes."
"Oh you just don't like the camels," Eliot teased her.
"Yes, yes, that's it, Eliot. I just don't like the mean, spitting creatures," Sophie made a face, "It's perfectly natural to think camels are evil."
"I agree," Parker piped up, "Bad as horses. Worse, even."
"I thought you decided horses weren't murderous." Hardison slouched against his armchair.
"I did. That doesn't mean I like them." She stuck her tongue out at him.
Around 10:00 Margaret and Leroy bid everyone sweet dreams and called it a night. After several other equally pointless conversations, including one about yo-yos, Nathan, Sophie and Hardison made their ways to the door, leaving Parker and Eliot alone in the living room. She heaved a sigh and flipped her legs into his lap.
"You know, this boyfriend-girlfriend thing isn't so bad," she dropped, watching him from behind partially closed eyelids. Eliot's gaze shot to her face. Every morning since that very first night, they had woken up in comfortably tangled sheets, sharing a pillow. It wasn't as though she was ever tucked neatly in his arms (though she was) or his head was ever on her shoulder (though it was) but it was delightfully unnerving.
Parker sighed lightly, rolling off the couch. "I'm going to go change for bed." He watched her go, his thoughts tripping over one another. Eliot was still looking to the doorway when she reemerged in his Eagles t-shirt.
"You coming?" She fiddled with the fraying hemline.
He met her gaze, icy blue for icy blue, for an hour-long thirty seconds. His fingers tightened and untightened, tightened and untightened on the edge of the cushion. Finally, he nodded. "Yeah, I'll be right there."
Parker spun around and pranced down the hall to 'their' room. It was so weird that he didn't find that weird. Taking a deep breath, he followed in her tiny, soundless footsteps. They brushed their teeth, Parker washed her face and he pulled his hair back in a ponytail, all in perfect harmony around each other.
Crawling into bed, Parker handed him a clear piece of rubber.
"What's this?"
"One of those teeth things; I saw it on tv. You snore."