An emo rant of epic proportions. Aka my life right now.
Usually I'd put this in a journal or something, but I figure that since my life feels so shitty, getting it off my chest more publicly could do me a little more good.
The good news: My boyfriend Pip sort-of proposed to me. With a piece of wire he twisted around my finger. It's more of a promise thing, since we're both unstable financially, have no jobs, are in school, aren't sure where are careers will be going, and would want to wait a few years because of this, but I kind of wibbled and said okay and now I have a handmade wire ring. Cheesy? Yeah. But it makes me feel a lot better that we're that much closer, at least in some way. Except for the whole circumstance thing that brought it about...
The bad news: (aka the circumstances)
Short version: my boyfriend can't afford school at all, because his mom suddenly decided she wasn't going to help him anymore, and so now he will be living with his friend for quite a while and working his butt off until he can, or until he figures out his other options. So I won't see him for at least 6 months. But there's the chance that if he doesn't do well in school this quarter, he'll be kicked out, so the chances of me seeing him in 6 months is much slimmer, such as not for a few years?, and he probably won't be able to do college at all.
Now I've done long distance with him before, such as the two months over the summer, but that's always really hard. At least during those times I have my family (which helps a lot), but not this time. I love my friends, but he's kind of the one that keeps me sane when I'm stressed. and wibbly. and homesick. and horny... and when I want to kill my friends? he's the one that let's me rant and puts away the weapons....
So basically the boy I'm in love with is being taken away from me for some really long amount of time, and is turning me into a wibbling mess.
This is also happening in 4 weeks. Which coincides with packing and moving all my shit to a new place and finals and going home for a few days. So my stress panic crying mode just skyrocketed through the roof.
At least now my going to Otakon is kind of definite, since I always wanted to go and that's where he lives... >.>
Yay. After typing this I feel like I'm some dependant clingy girlfriend crying over a long distance relationship. That helped... >.>;
The good news: My boyfriend Pip sort-of proposed to me. With a piece of wire he twisted around my finger. It's more of a promise thing, since we're both unstable financially, have no jobs, are in school, aren't sure where are careers will be going, and would want to wait a few years because of this, but I kind of wibbled and said okay and now I have a handmade wire ring. Cheesy? Yeah. But it makes me feel a lot better that we're that much closer, at least in some way. Except for the whole circumstance thing that brought it about...
The bad news: (aka the circumstances)
Short version: my boyfriend can't afford school at all, because his mom suddenly decided she wasn't going to help him anymore, and so now he will be living with his friend for quite a while and working his butt off until he can, or until he figures out his other options. So I won't see him for at least 6 months. But there's the chance that if he doesn't do well in school this quarter, he'll be kicked out, so the chances of me seeing him in 6 months is much slimmer, such as not for a few years?, and he probably won't be able to do college at all.
Now I've done long distance with him before, such as the two months over the summer, but that's always really hard. At least during those times I have my family (which helps a lot), but not this time. I love my friends, but he's kind of the one that keeps me sane when I'm stressed. and wibbly. and homesick. and horny... and when I want to kill my friends? he's the one that let's me rant and puts away the weapons....
So basically the boy I'm in love with is being taken away from me for some really long amount of time, and is turning me into a wibbling mess.
This is also happening in 4 weeks. Which coincides with packing and moving all my shit to a new place and finals and going home for a few days. So my stress panic crying mode just skyrocketed through the roof.
At least now my going to Otakon is kind of definite, since I always wanted to go and that's where he lives... >.>
Yay. After typing this I feel like I'm some dependant clingy girlfriend crying over a long distance relationship. That helped... >.>;