it's all or nothing
its my day off from work today. and im kind of wishing that i was working because with nothing to occupy my mind, i think about him. and thinking about him makes me want to cry. it makes me want to scream "WHY THE FUCK HAVEN'T YOU CALL ME!?!?!"
it's weird because when you're in a relationship with someone all you want to do is be together, and you like to stay home in bed just playing and its enough for you. you subconsciously begin to stop hanging out with your friends (im a huge repeat offender of this one...damn...i hate myself sometimes)because you are just content with being with only him.
but then, just like that, hes gone.
and then you never want to be alone. and your room has all these memories and just the simple task of lying in your bed makes you mad. because you know hes gone and hes not coming back. (or in my case, he leaves, goes a month with out me, and comes crawling back and like an idiot i take him back).
i hate when love gets complicated. i love being in love, but i hate love all at the same time. i hate the way love makes you feel sometimes. i hate the way love makes you act different and makes you do things you think you would never do. like take back a guy even though you know deep down he doesn't deserve you. but you do it anyway because you think "maybe this time things will be different". how naive.
give me strength. give me hope.
it's weird because when you're in a relationship with someone all you want to do is be together, and you like to stay home in bed just playing and its enough for you. you subconsciously begin to stop hanging out with your friends (im a huge repeat offender of this one...damn...i hate myself sometimes)because you are just content with being with only him.
but then, just like that, hes gone.
and then you never want to be alone. and your room has all these memories and just the simple task of lying in your bed makes you mad. because you know hes gone and hes not coming back. (or in my case, he leaves, goes a month with out me, and comes crawling back and like an idiot i take him back).
i hate when love gets complicated. i love being in love, but i hate love all at the same time. i hate the way love makes you feel sometimes. i hate the way love makes you act different and makes you do things you think you would never do. like take back a guy even though you know deep down he doesn't deserve you. but you do it anyway because you think "maybe this time things will be different". how naive.
give me strength. give me hope.