so here's how it goes...

[parispinning]

The past few months i've been living on my own and have found it hard to balance things between my different groups of friends. I think i've maintained a pretty cool head lately but maybe not. I've recently lost contact with someone who i considered a good friend of mine. Apparently i'm not a good friend to them, which is find and understandable if you want to eliminate me in your life. The problem is everytime i had asked her what was wrong I had gotten no response in that matter. Now we went from talking almost all the time to talking never except if it is to throw sarcastic disgusting remarks back at eachother. She is trying to figure out whats wrong with her life...and i guess I'll take blame for whatever mishapes have been happening to her lately. In the course of all this i still believe that no matter what i say to her, I'm stuck with the blame. It's hard though from sharing all aspects of your life with this person and realizing that she doesnt trust you. My feelings are hurt yes, but there is not time to talk about my feelings right now because obviously her feelings are hurt even more. so for whatever bad friend i was to you, and i dont deserve to be in your life, i'm truely sorry. I just never thought you'd take it to another level where the rest of our friends would believe i decieved you. I never decieved you...I tried to be there for you as long as possible and listen to you, then one day you shut down and blame me for not being there. I have no other option but to use my self defense. So i'm sorry, and if you want to talk, you can call me, because lord knows i've tried to call you.

On another note...my friend Sara M. is leaving for out of town, I havent heard from her since she told me...so if you are still around and dont think i'm a bad friend please please call me, I would really like to see you before you leave. And if you do think i'm a bad friend I understand as well...maybe we'll see eachother somewhere down the road to success.