Cold wind***
It’s been more than a week or so I haven’t written anything here… So here you are…
I made a complete fool of myself with that guy. The married one. I’ve been so ridiculous in front of him. I already told you about that. Like today, he came to my office and I was all alone in there, so he asked me why my colleagues weren’t there. I answered: “No, I’m alright”! Yeah, that’s alright, you can laugh, I am laughing at myself.
He knows for sure, but he must think I’m the dumbest girl ever, drooling and liquefying every time he’s around. ppffffff
Plus ever since I’ve started liking him, I get up in mornings much easier than before. And I take time to prepare myself, to look naturally fresh and gorgeous, because obviously I am naturally all rotten and ugly…
What can I say about that? I am just trying to forget about him but it’s hard to do when I see him everyday at the office, and that he always looks at me with those devouring eyes, and this delicious smile I’d love to lick his lips off. But I am just dreaming.
Like this afternoon, I was having a coffee break with one of his colleagues, and he asked us if we had had a nice week end, and my friend replied and I didn’t. I didn’t because I couldn’t. So he was there, waiting for my answer, and me, looking at the ceiling…ppffff
But can it be considered as an encouraging sign the fact that he is always the first one to try to talk to me? But I always look at him as if I had seen a sheep singing a duet with a frog on “living in America”! The thing is I have, I do, I need, to be able to tell him more than one word at a time. Because he only ever heard me say “yes”, “no”, or “hello”. I have to be able to tell him, without looking at my feet and torturing my fingers “ Hello G…, how are you today?” and smiling, and looking completely natural without stopping breathing or getting a heart attack every time he looks at me.
There is that other nice guy at work. My age, and single. Waw. And guess what? he is also cute. Yes sir, and very charming and elegant. Yes Madam. You know, I say he reminds me of the Kennedys. He is just as charming as the legendary legends… yeah right…
Apparently, he likes me, or so I am told. He is shy too. I like his voice very much too. The only thing is that I never talked to him all alone in person, and we never exchanged too many words. Because we are both shy. But I guess he is a nice cool guy and I’d love to have a drink with him one day, just to talk and see what’s underneath his clothes. And his beautiful smile and everything. And guess who his boss is?! Ahahahaha hahahah hahaha!
Yeah I am just lame with boys. I lose control. I look stupid, I really do. Anyways, you must think they are my only center of interest. Well, yeah, in a way they are. But fuck’em anyways… Fuck everything…
I'm happy I have friends who tell me why men are men and why they act as they do when we girls act as we do. Thanks Phil! Thanks Jules! Thanks Eric!
I wish I could be more positive. But I can’t. Not today.
I made a complete fool of myself with that guy. The married one. I’ve been so ridiculous in front of him. I already told you about that. Like today, he came to my office and I was all alone in there, so he asked me why my colleagues weren’t there. I answered: “No, I’m alright”! Yeah, that’s alright, you can laugh, I am laughing at myself.
He knows for sure, but he must think I’m the dumbest girl ever, drooling and liquefying every time he’s around. ppffffff
Plus ever since I’ve started liking him, I get up in mornings much easier than before. And I take time to prepare myself, to look naturally fresh and gorgeous, because obviously I am naturally all rotten and ugly…
What can I say about that? I am just trying to forget about him but it’s hard to do when I see him everyday at the office, and that he always looks at me with those devouring eyes, and this delicious smile I’d love to lick his lips off. But I am just dreaming.
Like this afternoon, I was having a coffee break with one of his colleagues, and he asked us if we had had a nice week end, and my friend replied and I didn’t. I didn’t because I couldn’t. So he was there, waiting for my answer, and me, looking at the ceiling…ppffff
But can it be considered as an encouraging sign the fact that he is always the first one to try to talk to me? But I always look at him as if I had seen a sheep singing a duet with a frog on “living in America”! The thing is I have, I do, I need, to be able to tell him more than one word at a time. Because he only ever heard me say “yes”, “no”, or “hello”. I have to be able to tell him, without looking at my feet and torturing my fingers “ Hello G…, how are you today?” and smiling, and looking completely natural without stopping breathing or getting a heart attack every time he looks at me.
There is that other nice guy at work. My age, and single. Waw. And guess what? he is also cute. Yes sir, and very charming and elegant. Yes Madam. You know, I say he reminds me of the Kennedys. He is just as charming as the legendary legends… yeah right…
Apparently, he likes me, or so I am told. He is shy too. I like his voice very much too. The only thing is that I never talked to him all alone in person, and we never exchanged too many words. Because we are both shy. But I guess he is a nice cool guy and I’d love to have a drink with him one day, just to talk and see what’s underneath his clothes. And his beautiful smile and everything. And guess who his boss is?! Ahahahaha hahahah hahaha!
Yeah I am just lame with boys. I lose control. I look stupid, I really do. Anyways, you must think they are my only center of interest. Well, yeah, in a way they are. But fuck’em anyways… Fuck everything…
I'm happy I have friends who tell me why men are men and why they act as they do when we girls act as we do. Thanks Phil! Thanks Jules! Thanks Eric!
I wish I could be more positive. But I can’t. Not today.