Coping chapter 7
Title: Coping chapter 7
Author: parishs
Rating: pg
Summary: Reid talks about the past and confuses Luke
Disclaimer: I owe nothing...
Author's notes: English is not my native language, so all mistakes are mine.
His hands on my hips felt so natural, his lips on my neck made that my thoughts were blown away as if a breeze had taken them. They were kind, his lips, not just impatient. “Luke”, he whispered. “You know the answer, don’t you? After I had seen you last night, I couldn’t fight it anymore. I want you”.
**************************************
My body reacted before I could even blink, my cock grew hard while he touched my arms. He kept kissing my neck and I had never realized that my skin was so sensitive there. All I could do was rest my head against his shoulders and accept what he gave me.
But he didn’t touch my chest, or any other part of my body, just my arms. I turned around and looked at him before I leaned forward and made our lips touch. It was breathtaking, the way he opened his mouth for me, the soft tickling of his fingers in my hair, his quite moans. Although I did have a lot of sex, it had never been like this. He was at ease, trying to get to know me.
He stopped my hands when I wanted to push his shirt over his head. With that, he kind of broke the spell between us. All I could do was pant and look at him.
“What?”, I asked. “You wanted me, or have you changed your mind?”.
He shook his head. “No Luke, I want you. More than you will even know. I have wanted you for years. But I am not like you. I never have sex with people I don’t know, so I want to get to know you before….”.
My dick was throbbing in anticipation and my hormones were racing through my body, so I got a little impatient. I Kissed him hard on his mouth and caressed his erection. He moaned louder and kissed me back, but suddenly he pushed me away.
“I shouldn’t have come here”, he sighed.
I turned around and took my time to get my breath back. “Why did you come here Reid?”, I asked softly. “Tell me, what do you want from me? You don’t respect me as a person, you think my job is sitting at my desk all day and my lifestyle isn’t yours. You didn’t come here to have sex with me, so what is it that you want?”.
I turned around again and watched him. He looked lost. All his confidence seemed vanished. I tilted his head and looked at him, I was willing to wait till he had his control back.
Finally his eyes met mine again. “You have hypnotized me in the ER Luke, years ago. When they brought you in, I examined your body and it was….I was chemically smitten to you.
But you were in a relationship and drunk. Two things I couldn’t handle. My father had been an alcoholic, so I knew first handed how it ruined the life of the people around the person who couldn’t quit drinking. When I saw the alcohol level in your blood and your liver functions, I knew you drank a lot.
And I didn’t want to be the guy who ruined your world by interrupting in a relationship, so I made that you left the hospital in a hurry. I had to get rid of you.
But you had taken my heart. So when I read that you had a foundation, I wanted to get in contact again, I had a good reason to see you again. I wanted to know if my feelings for you were real, or that I had been living in a fantasy world”.
“You have a funny way of showing your feelings”, was all I could get out. “I have been angry at you for so many years. I got the feeling that you resented me, back in the ER. I wanted your concern, but all you gave me were nightmares. I don’t remember you from before Reid, but when we met again, a few weeks ago, it all came back.
Somehow your voice and condemnation made that I got sick. My memories of my relationship with Noah, my boyfriend at the time, and your cynical eyes, I don’t know…”.
I shivered when I thought back at the nightmares and my physical status. “You must have seen it, that I wasn’t feeling well. Why didn’t you want to examine me? I can’t wrap my brain around it all”.
Reid pulled at my arm and made that I faced him again.”You know Luke, you have enough people around you who tell you what you want to hear. Back in the ER, I thought…I wanted to get through to you. If I had been understanding, you wouldn’t have remembered me. I know that an alcoholic needs a big slap on the head to reach him.
I felt so sorry for you, but like I said, your situation made that I had to keep my distance. All I wanted to do was to take you home and take care of you, but what good would it have done? You had to figure things out on your own. I have tried to forget you Luke, I tried hard, all these years, but you were the one I wanted to…”.
“Wanted to what Reid?”, I asked. “What is it that you want from me? You know how I live. I have a different guy every day. I fuck him and then he leaves”.
I took his hand in mine and guided him to the balcony, I wanted to sit and eat a little, and I had to order my thoughts.
“I have found out last week that I am a loner. I have no friends, somehow I didn’t need people to take care of me. I think, looking back, that your treatment and my relationship with Noah made that I never wanted to feel that lost again. And now you come here and turn my world upside down for the second time by telling me that you don’t have sex on the first date. Did you expect that I wanted to see you again? After the way you have been treating me? Do you think I like to be pushed around? I don’t get it Reid”.
He still held my hand and started to caress my knuckles. “I don’t know exactly what I want Luke”, he said softly.”I have tried to fight this attraction for years, because I am a rational person, and this…this pull you have on me is anything but rational. I have been thinking about it for so long, but I can’t find the answer.
So I decided yesterday that I had to do something out of character: I made an appointment and I would kiss you. I would touch you and see what was going to happen. I would go from there. If I liked it, maybe I could persuade you to start something with me. And if I didn’t, I could close the subject and go on with my life. And then I saw you naked and…”.
I smiled. “You wanted to join us”, I said.
Reid intertwined our fingers and squeezed my hand a little. “No, I wanted you for myself. I don’t have a sharing personality Luke. I see now how selfish I have been. I thought that I could seduce you somehow, but you get that all day, from all the other guys. I don’t know what I want Luke, I just like to be around you and touch you. I feel a kind of high when I am close to you. It makes me feel good”.
Wow. We had been thinking about each other for so many years, but in such different lights. My antipathy against him was still very much alive, although his words and gestures softened the way I felt about him. He had been willing to take a chance, far, far out of his comfort zone.
Maybe it was a good thing to do, it was challenging to think about it, to do the same. Because he was right about one thing, I felt it too, the click we had. I could come up with so many objections why I should throw him out of my house, but his warm hand holding mine felt so right. We just sat there and he didn’t expect anything from me, no answer or decision. The question what he wanted from me wasn’t even relevant anymore either. I wanted him to stay. And he did.
Author: parishs
Rating: pg
Summary: Reid talks about the past and confuses Luke
Disclaimer: I owe nothing...
Author's notes: English is not my native language, so all mistakes are mine.
His hands on my hips felt so natural, his lips on my neck made that my thoughts were blown away as if a breeze had taken them. They were kind, his lips, not just impatient. “Luke”, he whispered. “You know the answer, don’t you? After I had seen you last night, I couldn’t fight it anymore. I want you”.
**************************************
My body reacted before I could even blink, my cock grew hard while he touched my arms. He kept kissing my neck and I had never realized that my skin was so sensitive there. All I could do was rest my head against his shoulders and accept what he gave me.
But he didn’t touch my chest, or any other part of my body, just my arms. I turned around and looked at him before I leaned forward and made our lips touch. It was breathtaking, the way he opened his mouth for me, the soft tickling of his fingers in my hair, his quite moans. Although I did have a lot of sex, it had never been like this. He was at ease, trying to get to know me.
He stopped my hands when I wanted to push his shirt over his head. With that, he kind of broke the spell between us. All I could do was pant and look at him.
“What?”, I asked. “You wanted me, or have you changed your mind?”.
He shook his head. “No Luke, I want you. More than you will even know. I have wanted you for years. But I am not like you. I never have sex with people I don’t know, so I want to get to know you before….”.
My dick was throbbing in anticipation and my hormones were racing through my body, so I got a little impatient. I Kissed him hard on his mouth and caressed his erection. He moaned louder and kissed me back, but suddenly he pushed me away.
“I shouldn’t have come here”, he sighed.
I turned around and took my time to get my breath back. “Why did you come here Reid?”, I asked softly. “Tell me, what do you want from me? You don’t respect me as a person, you think my job is sitting at my desk all day and my lifestyle isn’t yours. You didn’t come here to have sex with me, so what is it that you want?”.
I turned around again and watched him. He looked lost. All his confidence seemed vanished. I tilted his head and looked at him, I was willing to wait till he had his control back.
Finally his eyes met mine again. “You have hypnotized me in the ER Luke, years ago. When they brought you in, I examined your body and it was….I was chemically smitten to you.
But you were in a relationship and drunk. Two things I couldn’t handle. My father had been an alcoholic, so I knew first handed how it ruined the life of the people around the person who couldn’t quit drinking. When I saw the alcohol level in your blood and your liver functions, I knew you drank a lot.
And I didn’t want to be the guy who ruined your world by interrupting in a relationship, so I made that you left the hospital in a hurry. I had to get rid of you.
But you had taken my heart. So when I read that you had a foundation, I wanted to get in contact again, I had a good reason to see you again. I wanted to know if my feelings for you were real, or that I had been living in a fantasy world”.
“You have a funny way of showing your feelings”, was all I could get out. “I have been angry at you for so many years. I got the feeling that you resented me, back in the ER. I wanted your concern, but all you gave me were nightmares. I don’t remember you from before Reid, but when we met again, a few weeks ago, it all came back.
Somehow your voice and condemnation made that I got sick. My memories of my relationship with Noah, my boyfriend at the time, and your cynical eyes, I don’t know…”.
I shivered when I thought back at the nightmares and my physical status. “You must have seen it, that I wasn’t feeling well. Why didn’t you want to examine me? I can’t wrap my brain around it all”.
Reid pulled at my arm and made that I faced him again.”You know Luke, you have enough people around you who tell you what you want to hear. Back in the ER, I thought…I wanted to get through to you. If I had been understanding, you wouldn’t have remembered me. I know that an alcoholic needs a big slap on the head to reach him.
I felt so sorry for you, but like I said, your situation made that I had to keep my distance. All I wanted to do was to take you home and take care of you, but what good would it have done? You had to figure things out on your own. I have tried to forget you Luke, I tried hard, all these years, but you were the one I wanted to…”.
“Wanted to what Reid?”, I asked. “What is it that you want from me? You know how I live. I have a different guy every day. I fuck him and then he leaves”.
I took his hand in mine and guided him to the balcony, I wanted to sit and eat a little, and I had to order my thoughts.
“I have found out last week that I am a loner. I have no friends, somehow I didn’t need people to take care of me. I think, looking back, that your treatment and my relationship with Noah made that I never wanted to feel that lost again. And now you come here and turn my world upside down for the second time by telling me that you don’t have sex on the first date. Did you expect that I wanted to see you again? After the way you have been treating me? Do you think I like to be pushed around? I don’t get it Reid”.
He still held my hand and started to caress my knuckles. “I don’t know exactly what I want Luke”, he said softly.”I have tried to fight this attraction for years, because I am a rational person, and this…this pull you have on me is anything but rational. I have been thinking about it for so long, but I can’t find the answer.
So I decided yesterday that I had to do something out of character: I made an appointment and I would kiss you. I would touch you and see what was going to happen. I would go from there. If I liked it, maybe I could persuade you to start something with me. And if I didn’t, I could close the subject and go on with my life. And then I saw you naked and…”.
I smiled. “You wanted to join us”, I said.
Reid intertwined our fingers and squeezed my hand a little. “No, I wanted you for myself. I don’t have a sharing personality Luke. I see now how selfish I have been. I thought that I could seduce you somehow, but you get that all day, from all the other guys. I don’t know what I want Luke, I just like to be around you and touch you. I feel a kind of high when I am close to you. It makes me feel good”.
Wow. We had been thinking about each other for so many years, but in such different lights. My antipathy against him was still very much alive, although his words and gestures softened the way I felt about him. He had been willing to take a chance, far, far out of his comfort zone.
Maybe it was a good thing to do, it was challenging to think about it, to do the same. Because he was right about one thing, I felt it too, the click we had. I could come up with so many objections why I should throw him out of my house, but his warm hand holding mine felt so right. We just sat there and he didn’t expect anything from me, no answer or decision. The question what he wanted from me wasn’t even relevant anymore either. I wanted him to stay. And he did.