Fresh start: chapter 4
Series: Fresh start
Chapter: 4
Written by: Parishs
Rating: pg
Summary: Reid is a neuro surgeon in Dallas with a burn out who tries to figure out what life is really about (Reid's POV).
Disclaimer: I own nothing
Thanks to zzzfreckles (Pamela) for the beta!!!
PREVIOUS CHAPTER
My biggest fear was that I had to talk to people all day at the farm but it turned out that the house had a separate wing. Aaron brought me there and showed me around. I even had my own bathroom.
"Grandma is going to bring you some food and books Reid", Aaron said. He opened a closet showing me a huge TV in it. "Everything is here he said except Wi-Fi, you can't get on the internet here unless you have your own connection to the world".
Of course I had a solution like that; I was a complete geek when it came to gadgets. I had my One plus phone in my pocket before anyone had heard about it. In Dallas I had been snooping around in my favorite shops to see what I would install in my new farm, I loved do implement some domestics in my house.
But now I was here I realized I didn't miss my TV, I only listened to the little radio that I had bought in the only shop in town while I worked on my house. Maybe life here was good enough without all the technique, maybe with all the fresh air and work on the land you were tired at the end of the day and went to bed early. I had to figure out the local rhythm and being in Emma's house I would see how people lived.
Aaron had told me that the wing was a bed-and-breakfast so I decided that I would pay Emma for the days I stayed here, that way I wouldn't feel guilty about using her place and hospitality.
I lay down on the bed after I had swallowed the pill she had given me. Although I never used any medication I hardly could bear my back pain so I decided to listen to the older woman for once. The bed was heaven and while I tried to read a magazine I felt how heavy my eyelids became so I closed them and let my mind run free.
Why didn't I miss my colleagues more or the routine I had been keeping for years? I missed the structure in my life but not the operating room or the stress, the endless stream of patients with their horrible stories, the dying and suffering. It had always been a race against time for me to save as many people as I could, but most of them had malign tumors so in the end it didn't solve anything, I fought against a kind of Lord of the rings kinda army of uncontrolled cells and I always lost.
When I lived in Dallas I could cope with that, I was ready to cut away the invaders but here in Illinois I was able to look back at my life so far and it made me depressed. Maybe I could talk to the medical staff in Chicago and do something else than operate, maybe I could be a teacher for the residents or help to build up the new neurology wing I had read about.
Maybe I had a burn out or something like that. I couldn’t figure out when my work started to be a burden instead of a challenge. Maybe if I had a boyfriend things would have been differently, then I would have been able to talk to someone when I came home after a day in the OR. Then I could have shared my stories with someone. He would have listened while he massaged my sore muscles.
I never missed it then but here I noticed that I looked at guys differently. Maybe a nice cowboy would do me good. Slowly I felt a sort of libido coming back.
I was startled when I heard a knock on my door. For a moment I didn't know where I was but when I tried to get out of bed my back reminded me.
"Come in", I yelled and cursed softly.
It was Emma with a plate filled with bread, fresh orange juice and coffee. She put it on the bedside table and looked at me.
"Good morning Reid", he said. "I hope I didn't wake you too soon, but I have to go and run some errands so I wanted to check on you first, how is your back?
“Good morning Emma", I said and tried to move but all my muscled seemed to protest so I lay down on my back and sighed. "Thank you so much for you good care, I am fine but my back is still hurting like...". At the last moment I swallowed the word hell because I didn't want to offend her.
"I have put some painkillers on the plate as well, so if you need them you can use them", she said. "And maybe you can go for a walk later; it’s good to move a bit when you are in pain. But you know that as a doctor, right? I don't have to tell you what to do".
"I appreciate your care Emma, if the medication is working I am definitely going outside and enjoy the surrounding, I loved it when we drove here. Is Aaron going to be around, I need to tell him what I want to be done in my house? He offered to help me when he has time".
"Yes he will be here tomorrow night to help me fix a few fences so you have time to talk to him. I don't know what is it with young people nowadays, they don't have time for their family anymore, they just work. How about you Reid, do you have family here?
I nodded. "I don’t have a huge family like you do but I have a brother here in Illinois, that's maybe the main reason why I moved here. We haven't stayed in contact but I want to strengthen the ties. I have to admit that I have neglected my family too, I was also working my ass off but to be honest I left Dallas because I was overworked. I hope to get some rest here in my farm, at least when the renovation is done, for now it’s a gigantic job to make it my home".
"So you only have a brother Emma asked; no parents or aunts or nephews or girlfriend?”
I smiled because I loved her openly nosiness. "My parents died when I was 12 and an uncle got custody over us. It wasn't a good time to say the least, he was harsh and uncaring and so when we had the chance Robert and I left the house to go to the University. To be honest I didn't miss my family when I was working but now I have so much free time I wonder how my brother is doing. You all seem to have a close connection though, I hear people coming in this house all day long".
She smirked. "My family is big and complicated, but we live close to each other and we take care of our own. It's not always simple Reid but in the end love is the only thing that matters".
I sighed. Love, what did I know about that? Time had slipped between my fingers; I didn’t make time for socializing or dating so now at the age of 36 I was alone. And although she had talked about her gay grandson I didn't think Oakdale would be a gay Mecca. Maybe I should install the famous Grindr app on my phone or go to a gay bar in Chicago when my back was a bit better. I felt that I needed someone next to me, someone I could talk to and have sex with. I had lost so much time.
NEXT CHAPTER
Chapter: 4
Written by: Parishs
Rating: pg
Summary: Reid is a neuro surgeon in Dallas with a burn out who tries to figure out what life is really about (Reid's POV).
Disclaimer: I own nothing
Thanks to zzzfreckles (Pamela) for the beta!!!
PREVIOUS CHAPTER
My biggest fear was that I had to talk to people all day at the farm but it turned out that the house had a separate wing. Aaron brought me there and showed me around. I even had my own bathroom.
"Grandma is going to bring you some food and books Reid", Aaron said. He opened a closet showing me a huge TV in it. "Everything is here he said except Wi-Fi, you can't get on the internet here unless you have your own connection to the world".
Of course I had a solution like that; I was a complete geek when it came to gadgets. I had my One plus phone in my pocket before anyone had heard about it. In Dallas I had been snooping around in my favorite shops to see what I would install in my new farm, I loved do implement some domestics in my house.
But now I was here I realized I didn't miss my TV, I only listened to the little radio that I had bought in the only shop in town while I worked on my house. Maybe life here was good enough without all the technique, maybe with all the fresh air and work on the land you were tired at the end of the day and went to bed early. I had to figure out the local rhythm and being in Emma's house I would see how people lived.
Aaron had told me that the wing was a bed-and-breakfast so I decided that I would pay Emma for the days I stayed here, that way I wouldn't feel guilty about using her place and hospitality.
I lay down on the bed after I had swallowed the pill she had given me. Although I never used any medication I hardly could bear my back pain so I decided to listen to the older woman for once. The bed was heaven and while I tried to read a magazine I felt how heavy my eyelids became so I closed them and let my mind run free.
Why didn't I miss my colleagues more or the routine I had been keeping for years? I missed the structure in my life but not the operating room or the stress, the endless stream of patients with their horrible stories, the dying and suffering. It had always been a race against time for me to save as many people as I could, but most of them had malign tumors so in the end it didn't solve anything, I fought against a kind of Lord of the rings kinda army of uncontrolled cells and I always lost.
When I lived in Dallas I could cope with that, I was ready to cut away the invaders but here in Illinois I was able to look back at my life so far and it made me depressed. Maybe I could talk to the medical staff in Chicago and do something else than operate, maybe I could be a teacher for the residents or help to build up the new neurology wing I had read about.
Maybe I had a burn out or something like that. I couldn’t figure out when my work started to be a burden instead of a challenge. Maybe if I had a boyfriend things would have been differently, then I would have been able to talk to someone when I came home after a day in the OR. Then I could have shared my stories with someone. He would have listened while he massaged my sore muscles.
I never missed it then but here I noticed that I looked at guys differently. Maybe a nice cowboy would do me good. Slowly I felt a sort of libido coming back.
I was startled when I heard a knock on my door. For a moment I didn't know where I was but when I tried to get out of bed my back reminded me.
"Come in", I yelled and cursed softly.
It was Emma with a plate filled with bread, fresh orange juice and coffee. She put it on the bedside table and looked at me.
"Good morning Reid", he said. "I hope I didn't wake you too soon, but I have to go and run some errands so I wanted to check on you first, how is your back?
“Good morning Emma", I said and tried to move but all my muscled seemed to protest so I lay down on my back and sighed. "Thank you so much for you good care, I am fine but my back is still hurting like...". At the last moment I swallowed the word hell because I didn't want to offend her.
"I have put some painkillers on the plate as well, so if you need them you can use them", she said. "And maybe you can go for a walk later; it’s good to move a bit when you are in pain. But you know that as a doctor, right? I don't have to tell you what to do".
"I appreciate your care Emma, if the medication is working I am definitely going outside and enjoy the surrounding, I loved it when we drove here. Is Aaron going to be around, I need to tell him what I want to be done in my house? He offered to help me when he has time".
"Yes he will be here tomorrow night to help me fix a few fences so you have time to talk to him. I don't know what is it with young people nowadays, they don't have time for their family anymore, they just work. How about you Reid, do you have family here?
I nodded. "I don’t have a huge family like you do but I have a brother here in Illinois, that's maybe the main reason why I moved here. We haven't stayed in contact but I want to strengthen the ties. I have to admit that I have neglected my family too, I was also working my ass off but to be honest I left Dallas because I was overworked. I hope to get some rest here in my farm, at least when the renovation is done, for now it’s a gigantic job to make it my home".
"So you only have a brother Emma asked; no parents or aunts or nephews or girlfriend?”
I smiled because I loved her openly nosiness. "My parents died when I was 12 and an uncle got custody over us. It wasn't a good time to say the least, he was harsh and uncaring and so when we had the chance Robert and I left the house to go to the University. To be honest I didn't miss my family when I was working but now I have so much free time I wonder how my brother is doing. You all seem to have a close connection though, I hear people coming in this house all day long".
She smirked. "My family is big and complicated, but we live close to each other and we take care of our own. It's not always simple Reid but in the end love is the only thing that matters".
I sighed. Love, what did I know about that? Time had slipped between my fingers; I didn’t make time for socializing or dating so now at the age of 36 I was alone. And although she had talked about her gay grandson I didn't think Oakdale would be a gay Mecca. Maybe I should install the famous Grindr app on my phone or go to a gay bar in Chicago when my back was a bit better. I felt that I needed someone next to me, someone I could talk to and have sex with. I had lost so much time.
NEXT CHAPTER